Chapter Text
Zephyr had arrived with Pansy to the Malfoy Manor. It was the twenty-ninth of August and they all wanted to hang out one last time before school started again. They were going into fourth year and even if they were just sixteen (well, Zephyr and Theo were still fifteen), she knew talks of their future and careers would be prevalent. Their O.W.Ls were next year and a lot of the material they'd be covering this year would be important.
The concept of the future terrified the life out of her. It weighed heavy on her shoulders and left an anxious pit in her stomach that made her feel like she was going to get sick.
So being here today was a good way to distract her, take a little bit of the pressure off.
Narcissa immediately greeted them as soon as they were in her sight, hugging both individually. She gave Zephyr a little squeeze before pulling back. "Everyone's outside, girls. Lucius and I have business to attend to, so you have the place to yourselves."
"Wonderful. Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy," Pansy grinned, a little twinkle in her eyes. Zephyr could already tell she was up to no good. Pansy's head was definitely filled with ideas of what they'd all be able to get up to without any adults around to supervise them.
Narcissa fixed her hair before putting her coat on. "Be good! I'm looking at you, Pansy."
Pansy rolled her eyes playfully with a little smile before dragging Zephyr by the wrist.
She'd been to the manor only once or twice, even in all the time she's known Malfoy. They didn't really click when they met, and they haven't made an effort to get along. When they talked, they just bickered. She had little reason to be in his home.
But wow, was it beautiful.
The garden was massive, there were flowers everywhere that Narcissa had planted herself. It's clear she took good care of it because it was nothing less than perfect. There were apple trees far out, gracing the fields. It was something out of a dream.
Zephyr was still trailing behind, her eyes widened in awe as she looked around. Meanwhile, Pansy had ran right over.
"Finally," Draco groaned in relief and gave Pansy a quick hug, who laughed. Pansy was one of his best friends. He had known her since he was five and she was basically his sister at this point. "We've been trying to figure out this CD player for ages. I thought you might have a clue."
Pansy raised a brow. While she too was a pureblood raised to believe muggles were inferior, she loved muggle music. Listening to it made her feel as though muggles had their own kind of magic, because she had no idea how else someone could create something so amazing. Meanwhile, Draco kept his CD player hidden under his bed. If his father found it, Merlin knows what he'd do.
"I don't know how to fix it, mine's never broke," She shrugged, her eyes going over to the brown haired girl. "But I'd say Zephyr would know what to do."
Draco rolled his eyes and bit back a snarky remark to his best ability. "Oh, I'm sure she would." He had no plans on asking Alastair, of all people, for help.
"Draco," Pansy said warningly, giving him a light hit on the arm. "Can you two please get along? As much as I find your arguments incredibly entertaining, I want today to be nice. Just today."
"I'm making no promises," He shrugged, leading her over to the circle where they were sitting in the grass. Zephyr had already situated herself beside Daphne, so he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'll be nice if she's nice."
Pansy knew that would be the best she'd get. The pair were set in their ways, she couldn't remember the last time they had a civilized conversation— if they ever even have. But in fairness, Zephyr started arguments as much as Draco did. "Fine."
"Zeph, any idea on what to do with this? We can't figure it out," Blaise held up the CD player, to which Zephyr took it from him. Draco let out a sigh of relief, grateful he didn't have to ask. It had a CD in it already, but it wasn't playing. She took it out and examined it carefully, spotting a scratch on it.
She brought her wand out and cast a quick 'reparo' spell. In a second, it was as good as new. She put the CD back in and it finally started playing. 'Everything She Wants' by Wham started playing, and she sent Pansy a smirk. She approved of her music taste.
"Oh, you're a saviour," Daphne said, smiling widely. "I've been watching them try fix it for twenty minutes now."
"And you didn't even try to help," Theo tutted from where he and Blaise were passing a quaffle between them, feigning offence."Says a lot about you, Daph."
Daphne gave him a scowl while also being unable to hide her amusement, and continued telling Zephyr about her date with Anthony Goldstein.
Zephyr was wondering if they were all as happy as she was right now. It wasn't a special occasion or anything, but every time she saw her friends she felt as though she had something to hold onto, something to cherish. Even if they all sat together in silence, she'd still enjoy herself.
Daphne was interrupted by a quaffle being flung her way. She managed to dodge it before it made contact with her, but she was still annoyed. "Watch where you throw that thing!" She scolded them, throwing the quaffle with as much force as she could. It hit Blaise in the arm and he gasped, staring at Daphne in disbelief.
"This is a Ralph Lauren shirt, Greengrass." He said angrily, though everyone could tell he was playing it up.
"Right. So it's not that expensive." Daphne shrugged. He ran over and began chasing Daphne, the pair of them screaming at each other. Theo decided to join in, just for the sake of it.
Draco and Pansy were too busy looking through Draco's assortment of CDs, trying to choose which album to play next. Pansy wanted to listen to The Police and Draco wanted to listen to Depeche Mode.
"What do you think, Zeph?" Pansy asked since Zephyr was the only other person still present. Merlin knows where the other three were. She didn't want to side with Draco, but she didn't really listen to The Police and she loved Depeche Mode.
"Depeche Mode. Sorry Pansy."
Draco let out a bark of laughter, a smug expression on his face. He couldn't believe Zephyr had just agreed with him over Pansy. "See? Even Alastair knows I have better music taste."
"Okay, don't put words in my mouth," Zephyr scoffed, picking up Music For The Masses and putting it into the CD player. "I'm only agreeing with you because I love their music." Never Let me Down Again began playing, one of her favourite songs.
Daphne, Theo and Blaise eventually came back. Their faces were all red from running around— except Daphne, she still looked perfect.
"Guess who beat Theo with a quaffle?" She smiled, pointing at herself excitedly.
Pansy huffed a laugh, her head resting on the grass next to a bottle of cider she had drank half of. "I don't have to guess. It's written all over his face."
Everyone's eyes darted over to Theo, who was glaring at Daphne with pure fury. "You fucked up my hair."
Zephyr and Pansy both begun gushing sarcastically, Daphne cackling. "Oh no, his hair! Poor thing, what's he gonna do?"
"I don't know— Theo, do you think you'll live?" Zephyr pouted, her eyes glinting with amusement.
"Oh, fuck off." He scoffed at the three girls and sat next to Draco, resting his head on his shoulder. Draco didn't look pleased about that and tried pushing him off. Theo looked up at him with sad eyes. "What? Don't you love me, Draco?"
Draco let out a groan, complaining about how annoying Theo was as he just laughed, pleased with the reaction he got out of his best friend.
-
The first of September came around very quickly. As Zephyr stepped onto platform nine and three-quarters, she was hit with a wave of memories. Mostly good ones, since she tried her best to block out the bad.
"Oh, sorry," A pretty blonde haired girl smiled at Zephyr after accidentally bumping into her shoulder, causing her grip on her briefcase to falter, falling to the floor. The girl picked it up for her and put it in her arms. "I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm Daphne Greengrass." She offered a hand to her.
Zephyr furrowed her brows at the seemingly grown up greeting. What thirteen year olds shook each other's hands? But she accepted it anyway. "Zephyr. Zephyr Alastair."
Daphne introduced her to her friends once they were on the train and in their compartment— Blaise, Pansy, Draco and Theo. Zephyr didn't talk much, she was always introverted around new people. Scared to say the wrong thing, scared to make a fool of herself or seem like a freak.
They didn't take any notice of her last name. They didn't know who her parents were. But the blonde boy, Draco Malfoy, did. He didn't speak to her once for the whole train ride.
That was right before her first year of Hogwarts. She thanked Merlin that Daphne ran into her, or else she didn't know where she'd be right now. They've all grown so close since that day.
Except Zephyr and Draco.
To her, it was just a simple clashing of personalities. But it was something much deeper to Draco. He had heard all about her.
Zephyr Alastair was a disgrace, according to his father. With a muggle woman for a mother and a death eater in hiding for a father, she was the product of a betrayal.
Her father, Aidan Alastair, had never wanted to be a death eater, but his father was and so the mark was forced on him. While he had that wretched tattoo on his arm, he was loyal. He did everything he was asked of, and he was incredibly respected. Nobody questioned him.
But the minute he graduated Hogwarts, he disappeared without a word. He didn't want to be in the UK any longer— he was too known, there was too much pressure. He'd always have eyes on him if he stayed. The other death eaters were unaware of his contrasting beliefs and they just thought he was a coward who ran away when things got serious.
He went back to Dublin and decided to go to muggle college to study philosophy. That's where he met Irene, who was in the same class as him. She was a muggle, she had no clue that magic was a thing. To her, it was just something you'd read about in books or see in movies. But when her and Aidan began dating, she learned about a whole other world.
They fell in love— they were utterly besotted with each other. They had Zephyr, moved to a secluded house in Connacht that Irene's mother had left in her will and life felt like a dream.
Until it all exploded.
No, not now, she told herself. She got onto the train and found her friend's compartment before another thought could run through her head. Pansy, Daphne and Blaise were the only ones there.
"There you are," Pansy grinned, patting the spot beside her. "I was wondering where my partner in crime was."
Zephyr let out a short laugh, sitting next to Pansy. "Sorry, I took the bus to the train station and it was delayed. Plus, traffic is really bad, everyone's going back to school today."
Truthfully, Zephyr's bus wasn't delayed. The traffic wasn't that bad. She had actually been standing outside the train station, watching parents walk their kids to school, saying how much they'll miss them even if they'll only be gone a few hours. And then all the first years on platform nine and three quarters crying, hugging their mothers and fathers. Even people in her year parting ways with their family.
"Don't worry. You're here now, that's all that matters," Daphne said. She had bought chocolate frogs and passed her one, which Zephyr gratefully took.
The train was yet to start, so they all talked about what their expectations were for fourth year. Eventually, Draco and Theo entered the compartment, followed by Jasper Burke. He was a Ravenclaw in their year and good friends with Theo since their dads had known each other since they were in Hogwarts.
"Well, well.." Blaise grinned. "Look who it is."
Draco hit his head lightly and sat down next to him, manspreading like he owned the compartment. Zephyr resisted the urge to roll her eyes so far that they'd get stuck in the back of her head. Did he not understand the concept of personal space? She thought.
"And you've brought.." Pansy raised a brow, mentally searching for the Ravenclaw's boy name in her head.
"Jasper. I've brought Jasper," Theo completed her sentence, looking a little annoyed. He sent Jasper a glance and he just gave him a shrug and a lopsided smile.
"Hi Jasper. Come, sit." Daphne said reassuringly. He murmured a small 'thanks', seeming uncomfortable with his surroundings before sitting down next to Theo. The two of them fell into their own conversation.
"So.." Blaise asked the rest of them. "Are we going to throw our annual back to school party?"
"I still don't get why we do that. Who wants to celebrate being back at Hogwarts?" Daphne huffed, crossing her arms.
Zephyr begged to differ— Hogwarts was her favourite place in the world. As cheesy as it was. All her friends were there, her dorm was there, she wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Summer to her was just the time in between going home, though for most people it was the other way around.
"Because it's an excuse to party and get drunk." Blaise shrugged as if it were obvious.
Pansy nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly. Millicent got a dealer in the muggle world-" Draco scrunched up his nose and looked as if he were going to vomit, "Who supplies her weed. Y'know, Montague used to be the person to go to, but his supplier, uh, he died."
Theo turned to her with a shocked expression. "He.. died? Like, actually?"
"Yes, actually." Pansy rolled her eyes. "So someone new had to step in, of course."
"How'd the guy die?" Jasper asked.
"Overdose." Pansy replied, letting out a huff of laughter at the irony.
"Checks out."
-
After a long dinner and the announcement of the tri-wizard tournament, all Zephyr wanted to do was go to her dorm and get into bed. All the thoughts about her parents were swirling around in her head, something that always happened on the first day of school. She stayed in the common room with her friends for a bit as they talked but at about ten o' clock, she called it a night.
She got into her pyjamas and took her makeup off, not bothering to brush her hair or do anything with it. It would get messed up by sleeping anyway.
Then after thirty minutes, once Pansy and Daphne were asleep and she knew everyone else would be in bed, she made her way to the common room.
She sat at a couch closest to the window, which gave her a view of the black lakes water. All the creatures in there must've been asleep too, because it just seemed vast and empty.
The first tear fell, and she accepted that this was now a yearly ritual that nobody would know about but her. On the first of every September since she got to Hogwarts, she'd go down to the common room and let herself cry (silently, of course. She didn't sob). But it was the only time she would. And for the rest of the year, she'd feel numb.
Maybe that's why it was always so hard. She never let herself truly grieve, so when she finally would the wound would feel so fresh, since it would be bottled up feelings that had been waiting to come out for so long.
They died years ago, but it would feel like it was just yesterday. Seeing everyone else hugging their mam and their dad would only make her heart heavier— she never got that. They never got to see her in her uniform or buy her books with her, they never got to find out what house she was in, she didn't get to come home at Christmas break and tell them everything that happened.
Everything got serious. Before she was taken into the orphanage, she had to provide for herself, she had to make her own meals, comfort herself when everything seemed impossible or when she felt like she couldn't go on. She had to return to an empty house, filled with pictures of the family she once had. Magnets on the fridge of places her parents went before she was born, places they would never get to visit again. Cookbooks with recipes they'd never get to try. Vinyls they never listened to. Books they never read.
She didn't know how she was still here. She didn't know how she was managing to live without them.
Her vision was so blurred from tears that she didn't realize someone was standing in front of the other couch, staring at her.
Draco had gotten up from his bed to go downstairs and read— Blaise's snores were too loud for him to focus and Theo was mumbling in his sleep. He knew the common room would be empty since everyone else was in bed, but it turns out it wasn't.
Alastair was sitting by a window, her head in her hands. He thought maybe she was just stressed out or needed a moment alone, but when he heard a sniffle and a choked breath, he realized she was crying. He couldn't believe it. She never cried. She acted as if she was invincible, like nothing could hurt her.
He thought about teasing her for it or using it as leverage the next time they argued, but he knew he wasn't that cruel. If she, of all people, was crying, she must've been really upset.
"Alastair?" He said quietly. She didn't hear him at first, or maybe she was pretending not to, so he took a step closer. "Alastair?" He raised his voice a bit.
Zephyr immediately looked up at him and her expression changed into one of annoyance. She took a cushion from the couch and threw it at him in pure panic— she didn't know what else to do. Nobody has ever seen her cry. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She snarled.
Draco was considering being nice for a moment, but now he was over it. "In the common room? Am I not allowed anymore? Did you book a reservation?"
She quickly wiped the tears from under her eyes, Malfoy's irritating presence acting as a distraction. "Fuck off." She had nothing else to say, because this was an incredibly awkward situation. Out of all the people to catch her here, she thought.
"No, I won't," He furrowed his brows, crossing his arms. "You don't own the place."
Zephyr got here first, and she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of making her leave. Stubbornness was the one thing they had in common. "I never said I did. Can you just leave me alone?" She diverted her eyes away. "I clearly don't want company."
"I can see that," He remarked, and she picked up on the smugness in his tone. As if finding her here was a one up for him. "But I usually sit here, and I'm not moving. So you can either suck it up and stay or go back to bed."
Sitting there with him in an awkward silence as she tried to collect herself and not cry was too painful of an idea, so she swallowed her pride and got up.
He watched as she walked away. It should've felt like a win, but he was left with this strange feeling. Why was she crying? Why didn't she just keep arguing with him like she usually would?
But since he wasn't going to ask her, he opened his book and read until he was tired enough to go back to bed.
When he did, he did not think about Zephyr.
He did not feel slightly bad for kicking her out or being so rude to her when she was sad.
And he definitely did not consider apologizing.