Work Text:
Cat doesn’t always know what everyone is talking about, she misses the point more often than not, or just wasn’t completely focused on the subject in the first place because a thought popped into her head that lead to another though that lead to another one and soon enough she had jumped all the way from:
“what’s our homework history?”
to
“Do you ever think about sea slugs? Some of them are really cute looking but, others, not as much...I feel bad calling them ugly...Do you think if I call them ugly it will hurt their feelings?”
Usually no one answers, they don’t see the point in indulging her and her odd questions, either they laugh it off or call Cat weird or crazy, which hurts her feelings but she tells herself that they mean it in a nice way, you can call people crazy and not mean it in a mean way, they’re her friends they wouldn’t say things to hurt her on purpose, but sometimes even knowing they’re her best friends and they wouldn’t want to hurt her Cat’s feelings get the best of her and she automatically jumps to;
“What’s that supposed to mean!?”
That’s when people start to back track, they stare at her with wide eyes like her anger is a surprise to them, and then they began to take back their words or explain what they had said.
Usually once Cat understands she lets it go because there’s no point to be upset over a simple misunderstandings, but happens so often that people say “what’s that suppose to mean!?” is her catchphrase. Cat doesn’t think it is, she just doesn’t always understand people tone of voice or the meaning behind people’s words.
Sometimes Cat feels like she isn’t allowed to express her emotions, or at least not in the way she wants.
Her emotions are so intense but everyone see’s her as this bubbly, happy, innocent ball of sunshine so she tries her best to form herself to the image others have of her. Though she’s not the best at concealing her feeling, she still pouts, dresses in sad colours like blue and grey when she’s feeling upset in hopes that someone will notice and ask her what’s wrong.
They ask. They have to. They’re her friends, but even then...Even when her friends ask her what’s wrong as soon as she starts to speak she feels like her friends are already tired of her. Like maybe they’re thinking “God, why does Cat get so upset over every little thing? Why can’t she just be normal?”
Cat doesn’t know how to be normal. Though she does try.
She tries to resist going on rants about things she loves, jumping up and down, mirroring back the noises things, people, or animals make.
Like when the doorbell rings sometimes Cat copies the sound before she even realizes what she’s doing.
Then everyone looks at her with a raised eyebrow like “what in the world are you doing?”
She can’t help it.
She stims, she gets over fixated on things and people and her emotions are far too intense.
No one understands her and it makes her feel isolated.
She’s not one of those teens who just think no one understand her though. She knows that every teen feels that way but
no one
understands her.
She’s afraid that as soon as she shows more of her ‘quirks’ she’ll stop ‘quirky Cat’ because not everything she does or says can be called cute or quirky, she lashes out, manipulates people, she can be ‘too’ childish sometimes, too ‘dense’..
All Cat wants is her all of her friends to love her as much as she loves them but she’s the weird one, as weird as Robbie, she’s just a girl and cuter so everyone let’s stuff slide, they ignore her weird quirks and her mood swings. Let her sit with them at lunch and hang out with them but there always feels like there's a gap between her and everyone else because no one get’s her.
It makes her feel isolated and alone.
She wish she could be like everyone else; normal. She wishes she could understand what people mean right away like everyone else instead of having to try and figure out if the person is saying what they really mean or if there’s some sort of double meaning like when people say they’re fine they’re not fine that’s just a lie everyone apparently tells.
She just wants her love to be returned. She wants to be loved as much as she loves others.
She doesn’t want to feel so alone all of the time.