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Tim stood outside of his house, keys halfway into the lock as he steeled himself for what he might be walking into.
He hadn’t been able to shake the feeling of wrongness, to forget just how hurt and almost disappointed Lucy had looked when she had realised that his mother knew nothing about her.
Those unshakeable feelings left him with a pit or dread in his stomach.
With a sharp intake of breath, he pushed the front door open and stepped inside his and Lucy’s home, their sanctuary.
Granted right now it was sanctuary that had been invaded by an uninvited person but still — wherever he was with Lucy felt like home, peace, safety and sanctuary.
The air and atmosphere inside their home was heavy, oppressive almost, even the house feeling the weight of his mother’s sudden appearance and the subsequent consequences.
He’d expected to come home to any number of unpleasant experiences. He’d even steeled himself for it.
But of all the situations that he expected to walk in on, finding his mom and Lucy having a heart-to-heart, standing in their kitchen, with Lucy’s arm on his mom’s bicep, both of their eyes glassy with unshed tears.
It was clear that they’d reached an understanding of one another, that they’d worked out the kinks and were able to move forward.
Tim could only hope that he was able to get that level of closure with his mother too because, God, did he want it so much that it made his insides physically ache.
It was Lucy that noticed Tim being home first.
“Hi, babe.” Lucy greeted, a slow, gentle and completely sincere smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “How was the station when you left? Still standing?”
At the greeting smile, Tim felt the knot in his chest loosen just a little bit. Lucy clearly wasn’t quite so mad…or, at least, not anymore, thank God.
He hated making her mad. He hated disappointing her. He never wanted to do it ever again.
“Just about.” Tim chuckled, though the sound was tight and strained. “What’s going on?”
It was Joy that spoke next, her eyes darting between the couple, noting how it seemed almost as though the rest of the world fell away when they were with one another.
“I’m just getting to know your lovely girlfriend here.” She smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “She’s remarkable, Timmy. You’re lucky.”
Lucy felt her cheeks heat up, turning a light shade of pink at the entirely unexpected compliment paid to her.
“Thank you.” She murmured in response.
Tim couldn’t help but smile and nod in agreement. “She is. I’m the luckiest.”
A momentary lapse of conversation befell the room, ended with one sentence.
“I’m going to go and get changed before we dinner, maybe have a shower.” Lucy informed, watching as the mother and son duo’s eyes widened, showing just how similar they looked. Lucy leaned forwards a little, squeezing Joy’s arm again in encouragement. “Talk to him.”
Tim watched as his mother’s eyes sparked, suddenly full of insecurity and doubt, her body rigid, before her features and her body language softened slightly, answering Lucy’s gentle request with a simple nod of her head.
Lucy gave Joy a smile, hoping that it lends her some form of strength, before making her way towards her boyfriend.
He looked confused — scared, even. He hated not knowing what was going on and, right now, it’s a complete guessing game.
Lucy stopped right as she reached Tim’s side, leaning up onto her tiptoes to press a gentle, reassuring kiss to his cheek.
She felt as every ounce of tension bled from his body, could hear the sound of a sigh of pure relief escaped his lips.
As she turned to head towards their bedroom, Lucy decided she needed to request something from Tim, too. For all of their sakes.
“Listen to her.” She murmured, her hand reaching and grasping his own, giving it a firm squeeze. “You need to hear her out, and she needs to hear you out. No more protecting one another — just be real with one another, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s the only way that things are going to get easier, okay?”
Tim nodded. “Okay.”
With her point being made, Lucy moved past the mother and son, cheerily restating her need for a shower and clean clothes as she left the room.
It took several minutes, and the sound of the shower running, before either of them made a move to start a conversation that both of them knew they needed to have, but were entirely unsure of how to start.
“Shall we sit?” Tim suggested, his voice edged with confusion and anxiety.
Joy nodded, quickly moving to turn the stovetop temperature down before she joined her son on the couch — after all, setting fire to his house wouldn’t be a good way to get back into her son’s good graces now, would it?
Another moment of silence ensued, before Joy finally steeled herself enough to speak.
There was no right or wrong way to talk about it. The only way that she’d go about it in the wrong way is if she let any more time pass without repairing their relationship. It would never be easy, but losing the relationship with her son is a hardship she can’t risk losing.
“I don’t know how to start this conversation.” She started, eyes downcast and staring at the wringing hands in her lap. “I’ve gone over this exact conversation in my head so many times, but I was never sure that I’d have the courage to tell you what I had to say.”
“Mom…” Tim started, voice shaking with emotion.
Joy shook her head, reaching out to grab ahold of her son’s hand, tethering her to him, to this moment. “Timmy, I messed up. I’ve continued to mess up. I’ve always blamed your father for my failure as a parent, but I continued to fail even after your father was out of the picture.”
“You didn’t fail as a mom.” Tim interjected.
“No, I did. I know that I did. I’m not asking for absolution — I know what I did, what I didn’t do, what I should have done.” Joy sucked in a trembling breath. “I should never have let you insert yourself, to put yourself in danger, when it came to your father. I let you become an easy target, and I will regret that for the rest of my days. No child should have to witness, let alone try to stop, their parents being abused. You deserved better than that.”
“I’d do it all over again if I had to, mom. You know that, right?”
Joy gave her son a slight, sad smile. “I know you would, baby. But that’s not the point. I should never have let you get that close to the danger. I’m your mother, I’m supposed to be the protector, not the other way around.”
Tim sniffled, blinking furiously as he tried to stop the tears in his eyes from falling.
“As for you not being able to tell me what’s going in your life — all of it, the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly…I want for that to change. I need it to change. Your life and what is happening in it is important to me, and I want to hear about all of it.”
“You do?” Tim repeated, eyes wide and disbelieving.
The surprise in his tone felt like a punch to the chest for Joy.
She’d deprived him of her attention, her want to know who he has become, what is happening and who he is living his life with, for so long that her expressing the want to know came as a shock. That fact made her insides twist and turn with guilt.
Still, pushing the feelings of guilt and upset to the side, she nodded. “Of course I do. Tell me everything. Tell me what I’ve missed.”
Tim leaned backwards a little, fully resting against the back of the couch. His body language had shifted so much already, his comfortability clearly far better than it was at the start of the conversation.
“Where do I even start?”
Tim and his mom spoke, engrossed in conversation as he filled her in on everything that she’d missed, on everything that he’d not told her out of fear of her emotional reaction, for the better part of an hour.
He told her about the divorce, about Isabel’s cheating as well as her addiction and her getting shot in the head. He told her about all of the ups and downs in his professional life as well as his personal. He told her about the moment when he’d gone to see his father, and what had happened when they went to their childhood home.
But, most importantly to him, he told her about Lucy. How they met, how they fell in love, and just how much of his life she’d changed in the best possible way.
After they’d wrapped up their conversation, the three of them had dinner. They conversed, they laughed, they ate great food. Lucy and Joy got on like a house on fire.
It was everything that Tim had only ever dreamt of having — a family.
One that laughed and joked, one that wasn’t full of hostility and fear. It was something that he’d never had when he was younger, and in turn had become something that he never thought he’d be lucky enough to get.
Yet, here he was, with exactly that — a real family. It was almost a surreal experience.
And so much of it came down to, was caused and created by, Lucy.
They hadn’t long crawled into bed, after having set Joy up in their guest bedroom, Kojo sound asleep in the dog bed next to their king size bed, when Tim spoke, his words so soft that they were almost lost amidst the nightlife.
“Thank you.” He murmured.
“What for?” She carefully probed, not wanting to overstep, and she certainly didn’t want him to feel like he had to tell her. She needed him to share this of his own accord.
Tim sighed, though not one of his usual weary sighs. This one felt more akin to…contentment — or relief at the every least.
“Where do I even start?” Tim started. “I’m thanking you for talking to my mom. For urging me to give her another chance. For taking me back, for loving me. For putting yourself in the middle of situations that you should never be put in.”
Lucy merely shrugged her shoulders. “You’d do the same for me.”
Both of them knew that to be true.
“It goes beyond that though, and I won’t pretend that it doesn’t.” Lucy started again, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “You deserve to have a family, Tim. A real one. One that puts you first, that takes your wants and needs seriously. And now you have the very real chance of having that.”
Tim shook his head, burying his nose into Lucy’s hair, pressing a soft, tender kiss to her scalp. “I already have that. I have you. No matter what happens, as long as I have you, I have a family. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
She smiled, cheeks reddening slightly, before angling her head up to steal a gentle kiss to her boyfriend’s lips, before deciding to ruin the moment with a little bit of levity. “I could think of something more to ask for.”
One of Tim’s eyebrows arched, playing the part even though he clearly knew damn well that Lucy’s words were only said in jest. “Oh, and what’s that?”
“Another dog. I think another dog would be perfect for our ever growing family. Plus, Kojo wants a puppy.”
He laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Kojo wants a puppy? Are we sure it’s just Kojo that wants that?”
Lucy shrugged. “It’s just what he told me. With his—“
“—his eyes.” Tim finished off, chuckling. “I’ll think about it.”
Her smile beamed, her eyes lighting up. “Now that is all I could ever ask for.”