Archive of Our Own

Adam arrives with a soft pop, and sways a little on the spot, trying to regain his balance. He automatically reaches for his wand, before he remembers that he doesn't have it anymore. Apparating without a wand is a bitch, so he decides to take a breath before trying to go back to the scene.

There's a bench nearby and he pretty much collapses onto it, then tries to regain his senses and figure out where he is. It's a dark park, close to a road, and Adam doesn't even know if this is still London.

He can't remember the last time he had such a bad night on the job. He got forced into Apparating to god knows where, lost his wand in the process, and he's pretty sure he got hit by a wandering curse — he feels dizzy, and his stomach is killing him. He really should try to get back, but he's pretty sure his fellow Aurors had it under control, so surely there's no harm in resting for a minute.

The park feels pretty non-threatening, and Adam's so tired, so he just wraps his arms around his middle and closes his eyes.

When he opens them, there's someone standing in front of him. That someone is short and slim and, even though Adam can't make out his face, he looks strangely familiar.

The guy steps closer and Adam instinctively tries to draw his legs closer and curl in on himself, because even though the guy is small, Adam still doesn't have a wand. So, making himself appear smaller probably wouldn't help anyway, but Adam can't help it, it's an automatic reaction. He fights to keep his eyes open.

"Adam?" the guy says, and Adam would recognize that voice anywhere, even though he hasn't heard it in over a year.

"Hi, Kris," Adam says, and smiles, because first of all, it's Kris, and secondly, Adam's exhausted and sore and a little out of it, so it's good to see a friendly face. He ignores the fact that the friendly face actually looks closer to worried. He thinks about hugging Kris before he remembers that they are not like that anymore. The random memory of one of their last fights is the thing that stops him from getting up. That, and the fact that Adam's too tired to move.

"Are you okay?" Kris asks, stepping even closer, pulling Adam from his thoughts.

"I'm fine," Adam says, and takes a deep breath, tries to stop shivering.

"Fine, as in 'I've been worse'?" says Kris, and joins Adam on the bench.

"Fine, as in 'I've been worse this week'," Adam says, and turns towards Kris, wincing at the strain in his neck and the way it makes his head spin. Kris is close and his eyes are big and full of concern — something Adam's seen countless times before. Kris always used to worry about Adam, even though he was the one who walked away from every Quidditch match with at least a bruise.

Adam would love nothing more than to go to sleep right here on this bench, but he really should be getting back to the scene.

"I need to borrow your wand," he tells Kris.

Kris just looks at him. "And you need it for —," he says slowly.

"I need to —," Adam starts, and then thinks, frowning. "I need to get back to London and —"

"You are in London," Kris interrupts him.

"Oh," Adam says. "Really?"

Kris is about to reply, but Adam finally remembers exactly what he needed to do, and he has to say it before he forgets again. "I need to get back to central London, and get my own wand back, and then I probably need to pop by the Ministry." He smiles, totally pleased with himself. "I'll have yours back with you by midnight."

"It's half past one," Kris says. Adam sighs, because trust Kris to be nitpicky at a time like this.

"Kris. I need to borrow your wand, please," he says slowly, and then winces at the pain growing in his gut.

Kris just shakes his head and holds out his wand, but the moment Adam reaches for it, he pulls his hand back. "Only if you promise to stop by St Mungo's afterwards."

"Afterwards, as in —"

"Adam," Kris says, and he sounds annoyed — again, something Adam's so familiar with. "You're hurt. I know you can Apparate without a wand, so you're definitely not fine, I know you."

Adam knows there's no point in explaining to Kris that this — whatever this is — it's only a scratch and he's just had a long week, so he doesn't even try to. Kris would only roll his eyes, and probably take him to St Mungo's himself. Which is not exactly a bad thing, but Adam doesn't want to waste Kris's time, and then he remembers he's in a hurry himself.

"I promise," he says, and grabs Kris's wand, shooting him a smile. "You'll get it back in a second, okay."

"You don't have to —," Kris starts, but Adam Disapparates before he can finish the sentence.

When he gets back to the scene, the cleanup is already done, and Cook is wiping the memories of the witnesses. Cam has Adam's wand, and he accepts it gratefully, kissing her on the cheek and promising to make up for it. She just smiles, and reminds him that he has to stop by the ministry to give a briefing.

There is nothing Adam would like to do more now than curl up in his own bed and sleep, but the night's not over yet.

He tries to recall the feeling and look of the park and Disapparates.

Kris is still waiting on the bench, and he rushes up to catch Adam by the elbow and steady him when he arrives. He pulls his hand back quickly, and runs it through his hair, as Adam regains his balance.

"Thanks," Adam says, and holds out Kris's wand. Kris eyes him before he accepts it and sticks it in his back pocket.

"I tried to tell you — You didn't have to bring it back right now," he says. "I don't really use it that often."

"Oh, let me guess, you do the dishes by hand," Adam says, and snorts.

"So do you!" Kris says, indignant.

"That was one time," Adam argues.

"Yeah, and the whole kitchen was full of soap bubbles and every flat surface was covered with water."

Adam wants to interrupt Kris, because, seriously, one time, and there wasn't nearly that much water, but Kris doesn't let him.

"And you had fun," Kris says, exasperated. "You were smiling so wide I thought your face might break."

"Well, obviously I didn't have enough fun to do it again," Adam says.

Kris just sighs, and rubs a hand over his face. "Did you go to St Mungo's yet?"

"No," Adam says, and Kris's face changes. He looks annoyed again, on his way to angry, and even though Kris always looks hot when he's angry, Adam rushes to explain. "I didn't have time yet! I'll go later tonight. I promised, didn't I?"

Kris relaxes, and his shoulders slump. Adam shifts his feet a little awkwardly. "Well, thanks for the wand," he says, and reaches for his own to Apparate to the Ministry. Kris looks up at him, eyes penetrating, but he doesn't say anything. They've always hugged, always, it's their thing, but Adam just brushes a hand against Kris's shoulder, and is gone before Kris gets a chance to react.

Adam feels more tired than he's been in a long time, and when he gets to the Ministry, he dreams of going back to the park and sleeping right there on the bench. For a moment, he felt safe there; felt like he could get away from all the hecticness of his work. His boss takes one look at him and tells him that he can finish his report tomorrow.

Adam considers just going home and sleeping for at least a week, but his stomach is aching, and his head is about to explode. The healer at St Mungo's gives him a potion that tastes like shit, and tells him he'll be one hundred percent in a couple of days. They're so used to Adam dropping by that they don't even try to keep him overnight, because they know he hates sleeping in hospitals.

It's four in the morning when Adam finally gets home. The flat is quiet — Cassidy's probably asleep already, tired after the show he had tonight. Adam feels a pang of sadness, because he couldn't be there, but Cassidy and his other friends are used to it, and always tell him they understand — which actually does nothing to ease Adam's guilt.

He's way too tired to move any farther than the living room, so he crashes on the couch. As he falls asleep, he thinks back to the park and Kris, and feels his whole body relax.

--- * ---

The pub is packed and the applause is pretty much deafening, but even when Adam looks at the crowd, he realises he wants more. More than performing in a wizard bar at the outskirts of London. He's trying to get more gigs, but he just doesn't have the time, what with work and everything.

On top of it all, Lil had called him to her office the other day and asked him to consider taking up training the younger Aurors. She gave Adam a week to think about it, after which, if he accepts, he'll try it out for two months and give his final say in June. Adam is thankful for the trust she showed in him, and he felt like he couldn't refuse, but this would take up so much of his time, he already feels exhausted at the mere thought.

As he steps out of the pub, his cellphone rings. Brad forced them to all get one a couple of years ago; as it turned out, not every Muggle invention was completely useless. On the other side of the line is Cassidy, asking him to stop by this club he and Brad found.
"Come on," says Cassidy. "Tommy is here, too, and Josh said he'd come and bring a couple of friends along."

Usually, Adam would totally be up for it — and he hasn't seen Josh in ages — but this is shaping up to be one of those weird nights where he wants to go to a random Muggle pub and drink and sulk a little. Think about his life, and all that shit.

So he tells Cassidy that he can't make it, and steps through the doors of the closest bar. He's halfway through his third drink, when someone takes the chair next to him, and says "Hey". Adam doesn't even have to turn his head to know who it is. He's not even surprised, to be honest.

Still, he looks to his side and is momentarily distracted by how the light coming from the bar paints Kris's face. Yeah, they broke up, and yeah, they had good reasons, but dammit, Kris is still gorgeous. Even with his messed up hair that is too long and nowhere close to styled, and that small scar at his right temple that he got from his first mission trip. He's still Kris, the same guy he's known since school and Adam finds himself smiling.

Kris raises an eyebrow, which has always been his way of saying "Like what you see?", and Adam mentally shakes himself, turns back to his drink.

He can tell Kris is about to say something, but Adam doesn't think he could handle Kris asking him if he's okay, so he interjects. "You here alone?"

Kris pauses and nods towards the door, "I'm with Cale."

Adam glances over and sees Cale sitting close by the exit; he gives Adam a little wave. "Oh, well, cong —"

"Not like that," Kris says.

"Oh," Adam says again, and looks down at his drink.

"Not that this is exactly unusual," Kris says, "but you're covered in glitter, so — why are you here and not out partying?"

It's a fair question, and Adam finds himself relax. He knows there nothing hiding behind the question, no intent there, just curiosity and caring.

"I had a performance earlier tonight," he says, resting his head on his hands and focusing his gaze on Kris. Kris nods and lifts his glass to his lips. The silence is comfortable, and Adam lets his eyes roam over Kris's features again, notices that he looks a little older, a little more serious.

It's been six years since their first summer together and two years since their last. When they're not talking, Adam almost feels like nothing has changed, but then Kris locks eyes with him, and Adam remembers.

"How did it go?" Kris asks, and Adam has to think for a second before he remembers what they were talking about. "It was okay," he says. "Good. They seemed to like me."

"I'm pretty sure that's an understatement," Kris says and smiles, but Adam doesn't meet his eyes. "And you?" Kris asks, sounding more serious.

"I had fun," he says, honestly, and Kris thankfully doesn't push it. Adam really doesn't think he's up for talking about this tonight. Instead, he changes the subject. "What are you doing here?"

Kris shrugs and looks over at Cale. "Having a drink after work."

It turns out Kris is now a part-time music teacher in primary school, and he sometimes gives private guitar lessons in the evening. After he came back from his last mission trip — Thailand, because no, apparently Kris didn't stop with the continent of Africa, even though that was his only plan three years ago — he rented a flat with Cale, who also helped him get the teaching job.

Kris looks happy, satisfied with his life right now, and for the first time since they saw each other those few weeks ago, Adam feels a twinge of regret, thinks, what if... It passes quickly, but the quiet moment they were sharing is over. Cale and his friends are leaving, and Kris moves to get up, too.

"Hey," Adam says, and grabs his hand. Kris pauses and Adam pulls back, but keeps his eyes locked on Kris's. "It was good to see you again," he says, and gives Kris the biggest smile he can muster tonight. It seems to do the trick, 'cause Kris bends down and pulls Adam into a brief hug.

"Yeah, you too," he whispers, and then he's gone.

Adam finishes his drink, and goes home to find that the party has apparently moved over to their flat. Cassidy is already passed out on the couch, and Brad pulls Adam down into the only armchair they have. Tommy sits down on the floor and rests his head next to Adam's legs. Josh puts on another record — Bowie, this time — and Adam realises the tension he'd been carrying for the past few days has evaporated.

--- * ---

"Lambert, any chance you can schedule an impromptu training session tonight?"

Adam's on his way to the fireplaces to floo straight to the club. He's running so late he won't even have time to swing by his flat before he has to perform. He turns around at the voice and sees Cook quickly walking towards him.

"Sorry, Cook, I have a gig tonight," he says, and hopes that'll be explanation enough, 'cause he really doesn't have any more time to waste right now.

"That so?" Cook asks, clearly impressed. "Where?"

"At the new club, down on Villiers street," says Adam. The place has just opened and they asked him to be one of their first performers. Adam is proud of himself and happy and excited and late — and he pushes down all the negative thoughts that want to invade his brain and tell him how of course it's a wizard bar, because that's not fair of Adam or his thoughts, and he absolutely cannot allow himself to be ungrateful about this.

"Oh, yeah?" Cook says. "In that case, I might even stop by myself." He smiles at Adam, and Adam's once again reminded why Cook is one of his favourite people in the Ministry.

--- * ---

The performance is absolutely fantastic, if Adam says so himself. He gets to experiment with his costumes, and a friend designed an amazing light show for the stage, with never-ending glitter and tons of other little spells.

At one point, Adam thinks he sees Kris in the audience. When they were younger, he used to get nervous about Kris seeing him perform. Even more after Kris himself went and wrote him a song and bloody serenaded Adam, because then he stopped being just someone Adam wanted to impress, and whose opinion he cared about, but became a fellow artist. And even though Kris always had only good things to say about Adam's singing — and all his words were sincere — Adam still got nervous, even just a little — the only kind of stage fright he got.

This time, though, the thought of Kris in the club, watching Adam, excites him and makes him focus even more — gives him one more reason to give it his all.

He doesn't spot Kris again, and thinks he might have even imagined him, but he doesn't have time to consider what that might mean. Afterwards, Brad and Tommy crowd him backstage, excited, telling him that they totally have to go to another club to celebrate. Adam loves their enthusiasm, and he's high from the performance, but he doesn't feel like this is something to actually celebrate.

It was a great show, and all, but he knows that the crowd in a club will never be as big as in a Muggle club, and even though he tries to concentrate on how more and more wizards know him and like him, enjoy his music, it's still — it doesn't feel like it's enough. He doesn't want to tell the guys that, though, because there's no point in ruining their good mood with his wallowing, so he promises to join them after taking his outfits back to the flat.

Brad promises to find the best club — and Tommy promises to make sure Brad doesn't attempt to actually find the best club — and then call him and let him know where they're going, and then they both saunter off. Adam starts gathering his stuff, and keeps getting interrupted by the hairstylists and soundcrew and other singers, who all want to congratulate him on a great performance. He knows most of these people by name, and even though usually he'd find comfort in that, it feels a bit unsettling now. He just wants something new, he realises, a change of pace, anything.

The club is quite far from his flat, but he doesn't feel like Apparating, so he decides to take the bus instead. He's on his way to the nearest bus station when he realises he's been here before. There's a park on the other side of the street, which looks quite familiar. He crosses the road, and discovers a small, crooked bench. Sitting on the bench is Kris Allen. His knees are drawn up and he's scribbling something on a piece of paper.

Adam slowly walks closer, taking in the sight before him. It shouldn't feel this unexpected, and this probably means that Kris was at his show, but Adam still feels a little weird about seeing Kris here, again. Kris seems to sense that he's approaching, and he glances up and smiles, not looking the slightest bit surprised.

"Come here often?" Adam says, and sits down next to Kris. It's cheesy, but whatever, he's feeling a little cheesy and ridiculous right now.

Kris just laughs and sticks the piece of paper into his pocket. "You were great tonight," he says, and smiles his warm I'm-proud-of-you smile.

Adam nods, "Thought I saw you in the crowd. How did you know I was going to be there?"

The minute he says it, he wants to take it back, because he shouldn't assume that Kris was only there for him — he doesn't have that right anymore. But maybe — he still considers Kris a friend, and he probably always will, so. Maybe.

"I saw a flyer," Kris says, shrugging. "Thought there was no way I could miss this." He glances at Adam, and, once again, seems to read him like a book. "It was a pretty important performance," he says slowly. "Wasn't it?"

Adam fidgets with his rings, thinks about it before answering. "It was. It's just. It was —"

"In a wizard club," Kris finishes for him. "And you don't want to be known only in the wizard community, right?"

Adam blinks, and stares at Kris. They only talked about this once, one time when Adam was so sick and tired of his Auror training and dragged Kris out, even though they were both supposed to be up way early the next day — Adam for class, and Kris for his first short mission trip. Adam hardly even remembers the conversation, so if Kris does, it probably means Kris remembers everything. Adam's tempted to ask him, but decides he should just answer the damn question. Even though it's pretty much rhetorical.

"Yeah," he breathes out, and closes his eyes, 'cause it's true. He wants to make it big, everywhere, not just in the wizard scene. This is what keeps bothering him, when everyone says he's doing so well, and he knows, he knows he should be grateful, but he just wants more. Adam's been doing this for a couple of years now, and it's great that's he's already as known as he is, it's amazing, but he wants to get something more, or at least try.

He opens his eyes, and sees that Kris is still looking at him, and there's something like understanding, mixed with sadness, in his eyes. Adam doesn't want to put that look there, he never has, and it reminds him of how Kris used to be, right before they finally decided that it just wasn't working out anymore. It still hurts — but maybe not as much as it used to. Adam decides to file that development — as all the others things he's realised about him and Kris over the past couple of weeks — away to think about it later.

Adam looks at Kris, meets his eyes. Suddenly there's a smile on Kris's face. "So do it," he says, like that's all there is to it.

"You say that like it's easy," Adam says, and immediately hates himself for it, because that's what he always thought he believed. That if you just want to, then you can do it, you can make it happen.

Kris raises his eyebrows, and Adam knows that's what he's thinking, too. Adam thinks about all the things he could say back, about how Kris hardly ever went for it, but that would be so unfair, and the thing is, Kris got there in the end. Slow and steady wins the fucking race.

"You're right," Adam says, and sighs, because nobody should have to tell him that, but still, now that Kris has, he feels a little lighter. He runs a hand through his hair, looks back at Kris, whose lips are still turned up in a small smile. "I should go catch up with Brad and Tommy," he says, and, because Brad has always had impeccable timing, that's exactly when Adam's phone buzzes with an incoming text. "We're going out to celebrate."

Kris nods, and raises his eyebrows when Adam pulls out his cellphone, but doesn't say anything.

"Do you —?" Adam starts.

"I have to get up early tomorrow," Kris says.

"Oh," Adam says. "Right."

Kris gets to his feet, stretches — not because he's showing off, but because he just wants to stretch, 'cause he's impossible like that. He looks at Adam, that fond smile on his face again. He leans down and brushes a kiss against Adam's forehead. His hand lingers on Adam's shoulder, and it feels comfortable — right.

Adam wants to ask Kris why they ever broke up, but he knows that's not fair. Their lives just went in different directions, and Adam knows that's not anyone's fault, but it still hurt, and sometimes he hates that he didn't have anyone to blame. He could blame someone, though, he could blame all the dark wizards in the world, he could blame the entire continent of Africa, he could blame his parents for encouraging him when he said he wanted to be an Auror, he could blame Kris for being so inherently good that he just couldn't imagine not helping people, but there's no point in that. It wouldn't change anything.

So Adam just smiles at Kris, and watches him walk away. Kris glances back at him twice — lingering the first time, like he doesn't really want to leave yet; a quick look the second time, like a promise that he'll be back.

--- * ---

Weeks pass, and Adam doesn't see Kris again. He's taken up the habit of keeping an eye open for Kris in every club or pub he goes to, just in case. He doesn't go to the park, even though he knows that Kris lives close to it. Sometimes, he feels like things are better left up to chance.

--- * ---

"We definitely have to celebrate this," Brad says and wraps his arms around Adam. Adam hugs him back, unable to stop the grin that's threatening to split his face.

"I think we should celebrate tomorrow, though," he says, and lets go of Brad just before Tommy tackles him. "You know, after I sing."

"We'll celebrate before and after," Cassidy says sensibly. "It's your first big gig at a Muggle bar — we'll celebrate for the whole week. You need some time off from working anyway. We hardly ever see you anymore."

Adam's about to protest even though Cassidy's right, because he wants to be in top form tomorrow night, but Tommy gets there first.

"Actually," he says, "I kinda need you guys to come out with me tonight anyway."

"Oh, that's why you're here," Cassidy muses, as if he's only now realising something important.

"Yeah, Tommy, didn't you hear the universe call you here to congratulate Adam?" Brad adds, and clucks his tongue. Tommy shoves at him, and blushes.

"I have this date-like thing with someone tonight," he explains.

"And you want us to come along and give out our judgement," Cassidy says, and Adam snorts back a laugh.

"No," Tommy says. "The guy said he'd bring some friends along, too. I don't know, it sort of just happened, so we were going to make it into — more of a hanging-out thing than a date? You don't have to come, but —"

"Of course we'll come," Adam promises, before Brad and Cassidy have the chance to tease Tommy some more.

And that's how they end up in probably one of the most boring Muggle bars in London. Tommy's date-but-not-really is only five minutes late, but they're already bored out of their minds, so Brad and Cassidy perk up visibly when Tommy announces he sees they guy. Adam follows his gaze and comes across two familiar faces followed by a face that actually makes Adam's heart beat faster, which is definitely an unexpected development.

It turns out that Tommy's date is Andrew DeRoberts, who was in the same year in Hogwarts as Adam, only in Hufflepuff. He's followed by Cale Mills and Kris. Adam just gapes at them, but recovers quickly when he notices Cassidy and Brad look almost as surprised as him.

"Well, this is quite a coincidence," Brad says, and Adam sees Tommy furrow his brow in confusement. Kris just smiles at Adam — well, and at everyone else, to be fair — and something warm and comfortable pools in Adam's belly.

After they've done the whole awkward hey-we-went-to-school-together dance, the other guys offer to go get some drinks from the bar. The minute they're out of hearing range, Brad slips next to Tommy and says, "So, I guess we finally know what your type is."

Tommy shoves Brad's shoulder and ducks his head. "He's just nice, okay, and he's — friendly. And he plays the guitar, he is not my type. I don't think I even have a type."

"Oh, everyone has a type," Cassidy says and nods, completely serious. "Not necessarily only one type, but still."

"Yeah," Brad adds. "Look at Adam. He totally has a type, everyone knows it."

Adam just shrugs, because they're right. Small, young, and preferably with an accent. As the other guys start discussing the issue in depth, Adam looks at Brad, and notices, not for the first time, how similar he looks to Kris — or Kris to him. Yet, even though he loves Brad — loves him — he's never even thought about possibly being with him. Well, that's a lie, he has thought about it, but never considered it as something that might happen. Brad's friendship is one of the most important things in the world to him — maybe the most important — and he doesn't want to lose that, ever. Not like he lost Kris.

Yet, Kris is here now, and Adam can't help but wonder that maybe it's a sign. Kris just keeps popping up and it feels as if Adam can't stop running into him, and he doesn't want to.

"Yeah, we're so not staying here," Brad says and brushes past Adam, pulling him back from his thoughts. "Come on, Tommy, we're gonna convince them to come to Eagle with us. I totally remember what Mills gets like if he has too many cocktails."

Cassidy laughs, and pulls Brad in for a kiss before letting him and Tommy head towards the bar. He takes the chair next to Adam, who just stares at him, because that was — not exactly how Brad and Cassidy usually kiss, there was nothing playful about that.

"Are you —," he starts, not quite sure how to finish the question.

"Are we what?" Cassidy asks lightly.

"Together," Adam says, furrowing his brow.

Now it's Cassidy's turn to look confused. "We — yeah, we got together like a week ago. I thought you knew. Didn't you?"

Adam feels as if the world suddenly tipped over. Not because Brad and Cassidy are together, that part totally makes sense and he figured it might happen some day, but how could he not know.

"Oh," Adam says inanely, not knowing how to apologise for being unaware of something like this. Cassidy seems to read his mind, though.

"Hey, it's fine, you've been busy," he says, and gives Adam a smile. Adam's about to offer an apology or explanation or something when his cellphone rings.

It's Cook — some of the other Aurors were very enthused about the idea of cellphones, because it made it even easier to get ahold of Adam — who sounds out of breath, and tells Adam they're going up against six dark wizards and need reinforcements.

"I have to go," Adam says as Brad and Tommy reappear, with Kris, Andrew and Cale in tow. "Sorry, guys, work's calling."

Brad clucks his tongue sympathetically, and Cassidy pats him on the shoulder and pushes him towards the door — they're used to Adam running out on them like this.

Kris grabs Adam's elbow as he brushes past him. "Be careful," he says, and Adam's reminded of all the nights he was woken and called into work — back when he was just an Auror in training — and of Kris's groggy "What?" coming from the other side of the bed on the nights when he'd stay over at Adam's place.

Adam nods and spares Kris a small smile — he always is careful. He rushes out of the bar, finds a hidden corner and Disapparates.

--- * ---

He almost gets hit by a curse the moment he Apparates. Luckily, Cam manages to conjure Protego in front of him just in time. He takes in his surroundings and shoots a curse at the closest masked figure. There are spells flying all around him, green and red streaks of light, and Adam knows just what to do. It's like choreography, like his body was made for this. He senses the other wizards, the other Aurors, and reacts accordingly, and his spells always hit their target.

There are three of the six guys left, and Adam's fighting with the tallest — the one shooting curses in every direction. Adam finally manages to break through his protection shield and disarm him. "One down, two to go," he thinks, and then he sees — from the corner of this eye — Cook falling to the ground.

Adam shoots a curse right at Cook's attacker, who goes flying into the air. At that moment, he feels something inside him breaking.

--- * ---

Cook's not hurt, only unconscious, according to Cam. Adam's still on the edge, even though this isn't the first they've almost lost another Auror. But he feels like he's had enough now, he needs — something, a break, maybe. Lil notices how unnerved he is and tells him to go home tonight and come to the office tomorrow. Adam thanks her, and then Apparates, not even thinking about where he's going — not caring where he ends up.

He opens his eyes, and is greeted by the familiar sight of the old bench, the park quiet around him. He almost laughs, because of course this is where his thoughts decide to go, and take his body with them.

The bench does look inviting, though, so he sits down on it and waits. He wants to pretend that he's not exactly sure what he's waiting for, but he's also tired of lying to himself.

He doesn't want to fall asleep, not yet, but his eyes close involuntarily. He feels like he's floating. Through the haze in his head, he can hear birds, distant cars and, finally, the sound of someone's footsteps on the pavement.

Adam opens his eyes, and there Kris is, sitting right next to him. His eyes crinkle when he notices Adam's awake, and Adam feels like laughing.

"Go on, say it," Kris tells him, smiling.

"We have got to stop meeting like this," says Adam, and grins.

Kris laughs, and Adam sighs contentedly. He's cold, and a little lost, but the feeling's slowly subsiding. The sun is coming up, and he realises that all the times he's seen Kris in the past few months, it's been night. So maybe that's why this time feels different — like it holds more weight.

Kris has turned his eyes away from Adam; he's staring at the park around them, and he looks calm. He's a calming presence. His right hand is resting on the back of the bench, near Adam. Adam thinks about moving closer, just a little, to get some warmth, something to anchor himself with. He needs the comfort right now, needs to know that he's not completely alone — it's what he always craves for after a rough night at the job. He's not sure if he can ask that from Kris, though, if he still has the right.

Then Kris looks at Adam, his eyes warm, and Adam gives up on staying still. He turns to his side, pulls his feet onto the bench, and leans his head against Kris's hand.

"How are you?" Kris asks, sounding worried. "Really?"

Adam doesn't even have to think about the answer. "Tired." He yawns, and closes his eyes. "Cook got hurt."

"He's —," Kris starts.

"He's fine," Adam says. "It just freaked me out. And then the fact that it freaked me out freaked me out even more. I should be used to this." He sighs, and it feels bone-deep, like it's coming from this part of him that's so exhausted, and which he doesn't know how to fix.

"Hey," Kris says, prompting Adam to open his eyes. "Cale's staying at Andrew's tonight, you can crash at my place if you're too tired to Apparate."

Adam can't stop himself from smiling — the promise of a bed, or hell, even a couch, close-by is so comforting, and it's Kris. He nods and watches Kris get to his feet, hold out his hand for Adam. Adam lets himself be pulled up, almost stumbles, but catches himself against Kris's side. He leans against Kris, savoring the warmth. It has started to drizzle, and the raindrops glisten under the sunlight.

Kris and Cale's flat is just on the other side of the park, so it doesn't take them long to get there. Adam tries not to put too much of his weight on Kris, but Kris doesn't seem to mind, and they walk, Adam holding onto Kris's shoulder, Kris's hand around Adam's waist.

The flat is small, and there are dirty plates all over the place, but it looks comfortable. That's all Adam registers as they stumble through the door.

"Nice place," he says.

"It's too crowded," says Kris. "I've been thinking of finding a new flat, for myself. Something a bit more spacious."

"Oh, look, couch," Adam says, and heads right towards it. Before he gets the chance to collapse on it, Kris grabs him by the hand.

"It's too small for you," he says, and Adam answers with a grunt that's supposed to convey how much he doesn't care right now if his feet fit into it or not.

"Come on, take my bed," Kris says, and leads him to another room. Adam almost whimpers at the sight of Kris's bed; it looks so soft and warm. Adam throws himself on it, not even bothering to get under the covers or take off his clothes.

At some point during the night, Adam wakes up to find Kris snuggled close to him, his head against Adam's chest, Adam's hand slung over Kris's hip. Adam briefly wonders if it's just a dream, but sleep pulls him under again before he has a chance to figure it out.

--- * ---

When Adam wakes up, it takes him a minute to remember where he is. The bed is warm, and he's naked under the covers. He doesn't remember taking off his clothes, but, sure enough, his jeans and shirt are draped over a chair close-by. There's glitter on the pillows. That's going to be a bitch to clean up, Adam thinks, and feels almost sorry for Kris. With that thought, the memories of last night come flooding back. Of course, he's at Kris's place. And Kris is — nowhere to be found.

He slowly sits up in the bed, and realises that, for once, he actually feels rested. His muscles aren't sore and his head isn't fuzzy; the room's filled with a soft afternoon light, and there's a comforting sound of rain drizzling against the window.

He runs his hands over his face — they come off glittery — and thinks about getting up and going to look for Kris. Right at that moment, Kris walks through the door, with a tea tray in his hands.

Sometimes, Adam's still taken by surprise by how fucking unreal Kris Allen is.

"Aw, you shouldn't have," he says, and smiles at the way Kris's eyes light up.

"Well, it is almost tea time," he says, and puts the tray on the bedside table.

"Wait," Adam says, "It's —?"

"It's a little after four," Kris says, and sits down on the bed. "I have to go soon, I have a guitar lesson scheduled."

"Oh," Adam says, noticing that Kris is already dressed like he's heading out. "Sorry, I'll get out of your way."

"Don't be silly," Kris says, and catches Adam's arm as he's reaching for his clothes. "You can stay here, if you wan't to. Cale called and said he won't be back today, and even if he was, you'd still be welcome to stay. I was just going to wake you to let you know I was leaving. Hence the tea."

At that, Adam relaxes, and reaches for the teacup.

"You have time to get ready for your show tonight, right?" Kris asks.

"How do you know about that?" Adam asks, confused. He doesn't remember bringing it up.

"Brad and Cassidy told me," Kris says.

"Oh, right," Adam says thoughtfully. "I forgot to ask, how was last night? Did they behave themselves?"

"We had fun," Kris says, smiling. "It was nice to catch up with them, actually, and the club they took us to was — fun."

"I'm sensing that's an understatement."

Kris laughs at that. "I don't think Andrew will ever be the same. It was a good time." He shrugs, looks down at his feet. "I liked hanging out with your friends again."

Adam smiles to himself and takes another sip of his tea.

--- * ---

Kris's guitar lesson is supposed to start at five, so Adam hurriedly tries to make himself presentable. Kris says there's no rush and Adam can stay here and lock up himself. Once Adam has told him he has to swing by his office anyway, better sooner than later, Kris rolls his eyes and says Adam looks just fine and doesn't need another thirty minutes in front of the mirror. Adam tells him he's probably biased. He wants to take it back, but Kris just laughs, and doesn't contradict it.

Adam feels a bit like he's intruding — not on Kris, but his flat which is just weird. The flat isn't very Kris-like anyway, which only increases the discomfort. Especially because, while it looks like a place Kris would own, it doesn't feel like one. Which is clearly insane, and he's probably only having some sort of opposite deja-vu that happens when you wake up at four in the afternoon, so he doesn't say mention it. Instead, he shakes his head and runs his hands through his hair for the last time, trying to fix it. There's still glitter in it, and on his face, but thankfully Lil's used to it.

Before Adam Disapparates from the hallway, he leans down without even thinking about it, and brushes a kiss against Kris's lips. The second his brain catches up with him, he pulls back, fast. Kris still has his hand on the doorknob and his eyes are closed.

"I — hope you'll come to the concert tonight," Adam stammers out, and is gone before Kris gets a chance to answer.

--- * ---

He resolutely decides not to think about what happened or what it means when he gets to the Ministry. He'll deal with it later. It's a complete non-issue, anyway. He needs to focus on the job, and his performance tonight. He just hopes he has time for both.

Lil is not the only one surprised when he ends up quitting his job.

"You'd like to — take a break," Lil says, slowly, like she's trying to find some other way to interpret that sentence.

"Wow," Adam says, and abruptly sits down. He didn't expect to say it, didn't think he would. But he has, and he finds he actually means it. He likes his job, but.

"I can still finish training the current group," he says. "That will take them, what, two years? That doesn't take up so much of my time, but — actively being on the job. I — can that be done? I can only work as a trainer, right?

"Well, it's a little unusual for someone with such talent, but it's not unheard of," Lil says. "And if you're sure, then — I'm glad you'll still be a part of the Ministry."

Adam nods, and smiles as he shakes Lil's hand, and he feels free.

--- * ---

"I kind of quit my job," Adam announces when he Apparates in his flat. He's not sure if anyone's even there, it just feels good to say it out loud, but then Brad's voice carries over from the kitchen.

"Define 'kind of'."

Adam finds Brad sitting behind the kitchen table, a quill in his hand, probably working on another script. He takes the other chair, and just stares at Brad, because this feels — quite momentous, actually.

"I'll just finish up training the current group I have —"

"That's another two years," Brad interjects.

"Yeah," Adam agrees. "But that's really all I'll be doing. I won't be as busy as I was before. I won't be as tired, and I can — I think I can actually concentrate on trying to make it out there."

Brad finally looks up, and smiles at him. "So, when are you moving out?"

Adam gapes at him. "Do you want me —"

"Of course not, silly," Brad says. "But you will. You're making a change, actually doing something for yourself. Don't tell me you haven't thought about getting your own flat."

Now that Brad has said it, it actually makes perfect sense. It's like it was hiding somewhere in the back of Adam's head, had been there for at least a few days, maybe even more, and now, once it's out there, it's like a full fledged plan. Adam should probably be unnerved at how well Brad knows what Adam wants from life, but it just feels — comfortable.

"When are you telling Cassidy?" Brad asks.

"After the show, probably," Adam says, looking around at the flat. He and Cassidy have had some really amazing times in this place, but it really is time for something new. Maybe Cassidy's going to share the place with Brad, even.

"Do you think you'll —?"

"This isn't about us," Brad says, and, well, that's Brad. Adam just smiles, knowingly, and Brad rolls his eyes, annoyed at him.

So, it's decided. He's going to move out. He just quit his job. He has a performance tonight, at a Muggle club. Adam smiles, thinking about how, for once, things are actually working out. Then he remembers.

"I kissed Kris," he blurts out.

"Mm, how did that go," Brad says, back at writing.

"I — kind of Disapparated before he got the chance to say anything?"

"Coward," Brad snorts, and Adam can't argue with that.

"I did ask him to come to the show tonight," he says.

"Oh, yeah, he called me and asked when it was."

Adam just sits there, staring at Brad. Leave it to Brad to forget to mention that one piece of information that Adam's whole night depends on — oh, that's not a good way to think of it. He really should be concentrating on just the performance, but. It's Kris.

"You gave him your number?" he finally gets out.

"Yeah, he has a cellphone, and for your information, he completely agreed with my opinion on them."

Adam rolls his eyes, because he never said he didn't agree with Brad, he just didn't like the idea of being so available to everybody all the time. Brad had told him to stop whining and just turn it off when he went to bed, but he felt like he couldn't do that, either. It does have its perks sometimes, though, he decides.

"So, did he say he's going to be there?" he asks, trying to hide how nervous he is about the answer, and completely failing.

"Well, seeing as he called me to ask what time it was, I'd say that's a completely logical conclusion."

Adam opens his mouth to protest, but Brad cuts him off.

"He said he'll try to be there. I think it's looking pretty good."

Adam frowns, because trying to be there is not as definite as he'd like, but then he reminds himself that this is so not the point right now. He promised himself he wouldn't think about him and Kris; about last night, the past month — about the possible future. He doesn't even know how Kris feels about him anymore. He wants to tell himself that he doesn't even know how he feels about Kris, but the moment he considers that, he knows he's lying.

Things have changed. Or maybe they've just moved backwards, which is a scary thought, but the heart of the matter is that he still loves Kris. He's not completely sure if he ever stopped, but that's not the point right now. He's always tried to live in the moment, and right now, he should. And right now, in this moment, he's in love with Kris, and fuck, he's not sure what he'll do if Kris doesn't feel the same way.

Brad seems to sense the way Adam tenses up at the thought. He lifts his head, and sighs, squeezing Adam's hand. "Go on, rock star, you're going to be late."

Adam takes a deep breath and rises, because Brad's right. He needs to go and pick up his outfit, he needs to talk to the club's manager, and he's totally running out of time.

"Oh, your clothes for tonight are on your bed," Brad says, as Adam's about to run out the door.

Adam stops in his tracks and smiles, relieved. He's lucky to have Brad. When he says that, Brad just grins. "Damn right you are."

--- * ---

The way the crowd erupts after his last song almost sends Adam to his knees. The emotions coming from the people are so intense it's crazy. He's performed for big audiences before, so he's not sure why it's so different, now that it's a Muggle crowd, but it just is. Perhaps it's because this time, it actually means something more, it means he has the chance to move forward, to get an even bigger crowd, a longer set, maybe even a record deal if he works at it hard enough.

He has time to do that now, he realises. He has time to write, to create his own music, to work harder. He might actually have a chance.

Tommy pulls Adam into a brief hug as they're about to head off the stage. Adam laughs, excited, and grabs Tommy's shoulders to look at him.

"You were amazing," he exclaims. Tommy grins, pushes his bangs out from his face.

"Thanks," he says. "But you, you were insane tonight, it was incredible."

Adam feels so high right now, so pleased with the performance. He lets Tommy slip away to the bar, and heads backstage.

The first person he sees when he gets to the backroom of the club, which is currently set up as a dressing room for him, is Kris. He's sitting with his back to a mirror, and he jumps up the minute he notices Adam.

"You were fantastic," he says, and pulls Adam into a hug. Adam wraps his arms around Kris and just breathes.

"You came," he whispers, and buries his face in Kris's hair.

"I wouldn't have missed it," Kris says, and gently untangles himself from Adam's grip. His eyes are big and warm, and he looks so happy, it makes Adam's heart want to burst. It makes Adam want to kiss him.

Kris gets there first. He leans up on his toes, and brings their mouths together, slips a hand around Adam's waist. Adam moans into the kiss, and grips Kris's shoulders, angling them so they're so close that nothing can come between them.

"This is okay, right?" Kris asks, and he pulls back from Adam, just a bit. Adam puts his hand behind Kris's head and kisses him again as an answer. He feels like he doesn't ever want to let go.

They keep kissing for a while, until Adam starts getting dizzy from it, and rests his forehead against Kris's.

"How did the guitar lesson go?" Adam asks, and Kris laughs weakly, still trying to catch his breath.

"It was good," he says. "Also, I'm moving out of the flat."

"Well, that's quite a coincidence," Adam says, thoughtfully. Kris looks at him, confused. He pulls back from Adam a little, but keeps his hands on Adam's waist.

"I've decided to find my own place," Adam informs him. "Well, with a little help from Brad, I guess, but, still. I need a change."

"Oh," says Kris, and looks down. When he raises his head, he looks determined, but Adam can still see the nerves hiding behind it.

"Do you want to look for a place together?" he asks.

Adam smiles. "Together, as in —"

"As in," Kris says, smirking, "I'd pay half the rent and you'd pay half, and then we'd live there, in one flat, sharing it. Technically. I guess."

"So, we'd be roommates?" Adam asks, furrowing his brow.

Kris just leans up and kisses him.