Chapter Text
"I hope you can hear me, I remember it clearly"
Avril Lavigne, Slipped Away
YEAR 843
Rain was pouring down heavily in the Krolva district.
F/N Kiefer stared straight at the tombstone in front of her — her father's tombstone. Just a couple of days ago, she bore witness to discovering her father's corpse, he was in their basement with a gunshot wound to his face, an apparent suicide; Paskal was survived by his wife Sybille, older daughter F/N, and youngest daughter Florentina.
"C'mon sweetheart," Sybille urged, placing a gentle hand on her daughter's back as they started to walk back from the cemetery, Florentina just ahead of them.
F/N didn't get why her father had shot himself — Sybille hadn't shared the contents of his suicide note with the young girls.
"Mama, what's for dinner?" Florentina asked, cheerfully skipping down the sidewalk. Florentina, at the age of five, still hadn't fully comprehended that her father was dead. Sybille sighed and shrugged.
"Oh crap," Sybille groaned, squeezing F/N's hand at the reminder, "I hadn't thought about dinner yet, girls, I'm extremely sorry," she apologised, letting out another pained sigh. The death of her husband has conjured up a lot of bad feelings in her mind and it was mixing in with previous trauma with her time as a Survey Corps member.
F/N squeezed her mum's hand back, giving her and empathetic smile, "Don't worry about it, mum, I can help out with dinner if you like," F/N offered, Sybille gave her a small smile back and kissed the top of her head.
"It's okay, baby, I can make us a quick soup if that's okay."
"That's fine, mum, thank you."
Weeks had passed since Paskal's suicide.
Living had felt impossible for Sybille since his passing — he was the rock in her life after she had her arm chomped off by a titan during an expedition which forced her to focus more on raising their only daughter at the time, F/N.
Life after that had gotten better and they had another daughter, Florentina, a couple of years later. Although Paskal was still working as a squad leader for the Survey Corps, he was very in his family's life.
His suicide came out of nowhere.
Snapping out of her past thoughts, Sybille wiped a tear with her hand as she stirred the stew in front of her, getting extra help from F/N as they cooked together.
"Hey mum," F/N called out, looking up at the woman, "what is it like outside of the walls?" she asked innocently. Sybille paused for a moment, looking down at the bobbing pieces of carrot and potato in the pot.
"It's… magnificent," Sybille replied softly, mindlessly stirring, "unfortunately, there's too many titans out there to see far enough." Her mouth pursed into a thin line, remembering the moment when she got her arm bitten off by that titan, "far too dangerous…"
F/N knew not to press further as she started to notice that her mum's hand was shaking slightly. "Sorry," She mumbled the apology before focusing back on cutting the meat in front of her. F/N had noticed that her mother wasn't okay — she barely ate, stayed in her room most days, and just didn't move around too much.
"It's okay, F/N," Sybille gave her a smile, kissing the top of the head, "it's great that you're curious about the outside world, just don't get into danger, otherwise you'll end up like me," she remarked, holding up her stubby arm. F/N glared at the arm and bit her lip.
"I think you're fine, mum, I like it."
Sybille paused for a moment as she looked down at F/N's face, she felt sick — F/N had that same stupid smile as her father. Her face scrunched up and the tears poured down before she could even think about her crying.
She dropped the wooden spoon in the pot and crouched down, crying into her hand. "M- Mum," F/N's voice shook, why had her mother start crying? Did she say something wrong? "Don't- Please don't cry mum, I'm sorry," She leaned down and started to rub Sybille's back, "Please I'm sorry."
The woman leaned into her daughter's touch and cried, shaking her head, "No- No baby, it isn't your fault," Sybille sniffled, wiping the tears away from her face, "you just look so much like your father — you have his smile. I love it."
F/N gave her another smiled and hugged her, "I love you, mum. I'll make sure all the titans are gone so that no one else has to get hurt." Sybille chuckled through tears at her words and shook her head.
"If you're willing to join the Survey Corps my dear, but live for mummy," She replied, standing up now with a smile. F/N nodded with a serious expression on her face.
"I will, mum, I'll join the Survey Corps just like you and dad."
The next day, there was a firm knock on the door.
"I'M GETTING IT!" Florentina had yelled out, rushing towards the door and opening it hurriedly. She was welcome to the sight of an older man, he had dark circles under his eyes and a grim expression, the two looked at each other for a moment before he cleared his throat.
"Is um… Is Sybille here?" He asked, awkwardly keeping his hands to his sides.
Florentina sucked in a breath of air before turning around and yelling, "MOMMA! THERE'S A MAN HERE FOR YOU!" The man was taken aback by the young girl's strong lungs but chuckled — this had to be one of Sybille's children.
"Coming, coming!" Sybille was heard in the house yelling back, she dusted off her floury hands on her apron and walked towards the door; she stopped in her tracks once she saw the man at the door, "Keith…" she muttered, her eyes wide but were filled with happiness.
"Sybille, may I come in?" Keith had asked, giving her a respectful smile, she nodded and Florentina stepped aside, staring curiously at the new man in the house. "Your house hasn't changed a bit…" He pointed out, looking around at the neat house.
Sybille chuckled and untied her apron, "Not much time to redecorate anymore, Keith," she replied, throwing the piece of clothing on a chair, "what brings you here? Come, take a seat."
At the question, Keith tensed up and looked away from her nervously as he sat on her couch, "I just… I wanted to pay my respects for Paskal," he muttered, looking down at his lap, "I heard what happened just yesterday night — I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, Sybille, I was out on expedition." Sybille's eyes widened a little and gulped.
"Flo, why… Why don't you go talk with your sister, mummy and her friend are having an adult conversation," She suggested, teary look on her face as she ushered Florentina out of the room. The young girl didn't have time to retaliate as Sybille closed the door gently when she was out of the room.
She looked back at Keith and nodded, anxiously playing with her sleeve, "Thank- Thank you, Keith," she sighed, running a hand through her hair, "it's been… difficult. I don't know how I can keep with my two daughters with my job as a saleswoman."
Keith gave her an empathetic look, "If you need help at all, Sybille, please let me know — you and Paskal were the best people to have in the Survey Corps," he replied, placing a hand over her own, "you aren't alone in this." Sybille sighed and gave him a weak smile.
"Thank you, Keith," She replied with a sigh, "you know, F/N said that she wanted to join the Survey Corps," she chuckled, looking down sadly, "said that she wanted to get rid of the titans so that no one else would have to suffer."
Keith pursed his lips but smiled, "She really is like you and Paskal," he remarked, running a hand through his hair, "you know, Paskal seemed so happy a couple of weeks ago the last time I saw him, said that he'd go out for drinks with me after I got back from the expedition."
The two adults sat in the silence, Sybille's eyes were teary and Keith just sighed.
"Thank you, Keith," She had thanked again, letting out a shuddered breath, "I appreciate it a lot." Keith smiled back and nodded.
"It's no problem Sybille. I have to go back to the headquarters soon — you should come around with your daughters some time soon, I'm sure that we'd all love to see you again," He offered.
Sybille smiled back, "Mm, I'd have to ask the commander if I can visit."
He shook his head and chuckled, "Commander says it's okay. Talking about the commander, he has to leave now, come visit us soon, okay?" Sybille nodded and got up to walk Keith out of the house.
"I'll let you know when I do, okay? Thank you, Keith," She thanked, giving him a quick hug, "I'll see you soon."
The two adults shared a small hug - something that Sybille needed from a friend - and let go, going their separate ways.
From behind them, F/N had peered from behind the living room door, eyes slightly wide. "Who was that man, mum? Is he your new husband?" She had asked, slowly slinking away from the door to fully stand in the living room.
Sybille's eyes widened at her question and she shook her head profusely, face red, "K- Keith!? No no, sweetheart, he- he worked alongside your father and I in the Survey Corps - he wanted to quickly visit and pay respects to your father." F/N hummed but squinted her eyes and then shrugging.
"He's ugly anyway," She muttered, huffing slightly.
"F/N!" Sybille scolded, smacking the top of her head, "Don't say that about people, that's extremely rude!" F/N whined out and rubbed the spot that was smacked.
"Ow! I'm sorry," She muttered, letting out a sniff, "I just miss dad, that's all."
Sybille softened up at her confession and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I miss him too, F/N; I promise that I'm not going to replace him with another man." Her mum's response made F/N happy and gave her a tight hug.
"That's good — I don't want another dad."
The older woman gave her daughter a hug, squeezing her tightly. "Oh I love you baby girl, you really are so smart."