Chapter Text
I stared into the bottom of my now empty mug of beer, the room swimming around me as everything teetered back and forth.
How many drinks have I had tonight? Twelveteen? Eleventy Thirty? No, that's the time…
I looked around at the sorry sacks of office workers around me, a hot spot for losers like myself to drown their sorrows in.
No wife, no family, dead end job. The same day in and out. Wake up, work, drink, sleep. Repeat the cycle.
I’d die for just another chance to do something different, have friends and love. Find out why I’m so damned depressed.
The feeling of my skin crawling up my back as I even had to exist. I could only imagine that it was what everyone else felt. To be such a failure that you feel wrong in your own skin.
I fished around for my wallet, fumbling with the bills and cards until I could grab my debit card. I flagged down the bartender from across the bar with as much grace as a baby kitten.
About a minute later he had made his way down the bar, walking to me with his professional face on. Business as usual, for all of us.
“Yes sir?”
“Here’s my card, pay off my tab please. I’m walking home. It’s late.”
“Certainly, just give me a minute.”
As the bartender wandered off, it left me to contemplate my hollowness.
Sir, an empty echo upon me. What kind of man did I actually make? Not a good one, that’s for sure.
I was a disgrace at best, and a leech at worst. A bottomfeeder feasting upon the carcass of capitalism and fascism with no good escape. Can’t go hungry, after all.
The piece of plastic that ruled my life was set back down into my vision. The blue shit that allowed me to do anything in this forsaken world. I just wanted to escape it.
He muttered to me something about a cab that I ignored, letting myself be disappointed by what I had to do.
I gave my thanks to the bartender, hoisting myself off my barstool and stumbling with each step. It was a miracle of sheer effort that I was able to wander out the door and into the cool night air.
Out of habit I looked up to the sky, gazing deep into the night sky. The dull darkness stared back, all stars snuffed out by the light pollution that this hellscape of a city used to drown out any sort of natural beauty there might have been.
I wish I had another drink, the sight just made me more sad.
I focused back on my task. I had a 20 minute walk ahead of me while my sense of balance was on the fritz, meaning it would be at least double that time. The only thing keeping me warm was the alcohol that coursed through my veins, the condensation of my breath keying me into how cold it truly was.
I stumbled and staggered and muttered my way through the concrete jungle, what felt like eras passing revealed to me by looking back was only a block away from the bar.
But in my mistake of looking at my progress, my foot hitched upon itself, losing my balance and falling over, off the sidewalk into the street.
Time seemed to slow down as I fell, a blinding light swallowing up my whole world. I did my best to squint, cutting through the light with my own form of darkness.
The metal smile and yellow countenance met me, their eyes shining bright as they slowly crept toward me at fast speeds. My brain took a second or two to figure out what I was properly looking at, the glare confusing my mind even further.
Oh! It’s a cab. Right, the bartender called one for me.
Suppose it was a good time to meet-
I floated in darkness, weightless and formless. Yet still conscious.
That was the part that surprised me the most, that I had existed after I was struck by a car and-
Oh.
I died.
…Fuck.
Well my guess of what happened after death was wrong. So much for ceasing to exist, apparently floating in an endless void forever was the true afterlife.
“No, this isn’t really the afterlife. I could understand your mind processing it as such however.”
I attempted to flail at the sudden voice, forgetting that I currently had no arms to flail with.
“Who’s there? Why is your voice everywhere? Am I actually dead?”
An audible sigh echoed about me, not displeased but more so one of amusement. “Well, I will happily start with that last question. Yes, you died. That car hit you and killed you instantly.”
My weightlessness was suddenly interrupted by the heavy truth of the matter. I had died, in my drunken stupor, by tripping over myself and getting hit by a car. An idiotic way to end an idiot in life.
“Do you truly think that lowly of yourself?”
The void slowly began to fill, twinkles of distance stars pulsated as the voice spoke. They slowly began to collate together, a form traced by the darkness.
A woman stood before me, but one who could not be called human. Her skin was traced with galaxies, living tattoos that move across the dark color of deep space. Her hair glowed like starlight, shifting in a solar wind that blew through her. Her eyes burst like supernovas, radiant and captivating, if hard to look at directly.
“A shame, because the life you lived could have been fantastic if you had strived for it to be.”
“...The last thing I need is a phantom from my death-addled brain chastising me on how I lived my life.” I tried to huff in response, but no air could escape the lungs I did not have.
She smiled in response, clearly finding me humorous. “Believe what you will, but I still have an offer to make you.”
“And what’s that?”
Slowly, she walked up to the spot my formless self rested in, sitting down in front of me. I caught my breath, because her beauty was even more apparent up close. “A simple favor, one where we both benefit. I am in need of assistance in a world, while familiar to me, will be novel to you. In return, I will give you the chance to truly be yourself, and live however you wish.”
“...simpler terms?”
A hearty laugh, one that strummed against my brain as if it resonated through the cosmos. “Would you like another chance at life, strange one?”
Another chance.
The words bounced in my mind, flipping and flopping as I analyzed from every angle.
Another attempt to be better, to escape where I was before.
To live again.
“I cannot return you to the world from whence you came, but this new world should fit your fancy from what I have seen of your life, for what you yearn for. I only need you to accept.”
A new world… free from expectations I had before.
“...I accept. Send me to wherever, as long as I can live.”
The woman stood from her seat, a smile beaming on her face to my response. “Wonderful! As additional payment I shall grant you a form ideal to your being, one that you can live happily in. You will understand what your mission is in due time, but until we speak again…”
The stars burst apart, showering me in dazzling light and shimmering fields of purples and golds. They expanded outward before being pulled back in, all focusing upon a point as they were sucked in.
An absence of light, surrounded by a halo of life and light. A black hole that warped my very perception as I slowly felt it tug upon me, pulling me closer and closer. I began to stretch and warp, my consciousness spread thin across light years until finally a single pop dragged me back into darkness.
CRACK!
I jumped awake, the sudden explosion of noise making my ears ring in response. I held my hand to my head, waiting for the radiating pains of a hangover but… feeling none. As my mind began to settle, I could only stare into the strange room I suddenly found myself in.
The walls were made of stonework, stacked and grouted to insulate from the weather from the outside. A simple window was inlaid into the wall to my left, letting sunshine slowly start to creep in as I could see in the far distance through trees and hills as the sun started to rise.
The floor was made of carefully trimmed boards, neatly laid next to each other to make a full floor. It was beautifully rustic, old fashion in any way I could describe it.
The bed I had been laid in was nostalgically comfortable, a linen bag filled with hay that rested upon a rope underframe, a blanket made of animal fur covering the top of me in a soft embrace.
It reminded me of my childhood, growing up out in the country as I wandered from place to place, watching the night sky pass overhead with its beautiful dance. Sleeping in and waking up to the sound of bird calls as I stirred awake and went about my day.
It made me want to sit up and take in a deep breath, to enjoy it all.
But readjusting felt weird, like my body was weighted in a different way. And a sudden heft on my chest made me look down.
Tits.
Boobs, even.
I’ll admit even the girly scream that came out afterwards shocked me even more.
In a panic I covered myself back up to hopefully hide from that new realization, trying to ignore the fact my hands were significantly softer and smaller and feminine. Just ignore your body, dissociate like you always had. Don’t focus on it.
I heard a scramble from the room next to the bedroom, something falling on the floor as steady footfall grew closer.
A woman appeared in the door, exasperated and face burdened with worry. Her hair was a deep brown, braided down to her waist. Her clothes were simple, a blue cotton dress that rested on her frame. But what stood out to me the most were her eyes, closed shut and surrounded by scar tissue, similar to a burn.
Her heavy breathing was only broken up by a single question. “Is everything ok?”
Oh dear, she’s really pretty.
“I- ah- Uhh- I don’t know???” I struggled to talk with this new voice, much softer and reminiscent of honey. “Where am I???? Why am I a woman?”
Her panic was slowly filled with confusion as I began to ramble.
An endless sprout of words that relayed my tale. My life before, and how I died. How I was a man, but after stumbling and a strange dream I reawakened to this cabin with a body that isn’t mine, a voice that sounds so alien. It felt like I was listening to a stranger acting out my life, pretending to be me.
The woman simply let me talk, nodded at each statement I made while I rambled and looked towards her for reassurance. I had started to cry, an unnatural response for me as the wetness rolled down my face. With grace she offered me some cloth to dry my face, urging me to continue.
It wasn’t until I started to talk about that strange dream that she began to become intense. Her expression grew serious, leaning in close as I described the form of the woman I had met, how dazzling she was.
It wasn’t until my voice escaped me, silenced by my panic and fear of what was happening to me. How was this form ideal for me? I was so different and strange from what I used to be. I was born a man, not a woman! I couldn’t be a woman.
The woman sighed, standing up from kneeling as she addressed me. “I am sorry that such a tragic fate has happened to you, death could not have been easy. Let me make you some tea and a snack while you rest and relax.”
I croaked out a plea for companionship. “Are you sure you don’t need help? I could always assist-”
Her tone grew sharp. “I am quite capable by myself.”
I cowered back at the sudden change, feeling strange by how emotive I had become.
As if she sensed my change, she softened yet again. “Apologies. However, if you would like to accompany me, I would not mind the presence. It has been too long since I have talked with another.”
I quickly nodded, realizing my mistake as I spat out an affirmation and began to rustle.
She smiled at the noise of my movement, turning around and motioning me to come with her.
I rose from the bed, grabbing the blanket to cover my… exposed body. I could feel something soft coil around my leg and-
No, don’t focus on it. Dissociate.
It felt odd to stand, my legs resting different than they used to. I essentially waddled my way over to follow her, keeping my best to remain quiet as she worked.
And worked she did, as if in a beautiful dance. With grace and deftness she moved about the cottage, humming an unknown tune as she grabbed dishes and food as if in a practiced motion. It wasn’t long before she began to speak to me yet again.
“To explain where you are: This is the Kingdom of Estervia, specifically in the Golden Hills right outside of the capital. I found you when I was out foraging for berries, essentially tripping over you as your body was laid out in my normal path I followed. I apologize for the lack of clothing, I was going to dress you in one of my dresses but, I am unsure that you would be open to that as of right now.”
Her teapot began to whistle, and nearly quickly stopped as she grabbed the pot to pour some tea. “As for me, I’m Belle Lumemir, a Lightning Sorcerer. I mainly use my spells now for assistance, however. I’m a retired adventurer, though that was years ago.”
“Magic?” I blurted out the question without thinking about it, covering my mouth in response.
“Ah, your world doesn’t have that, does it? Yes, we have magic here. Ten forms of such: Fire, Water, Ice, Wind, Lightning, Earth, Metal, Light, Dark, and Spatial… Which keenly leads me into my next point.”
She had begun to cut some bread, freshly baked by the smell of it. “I suspect, through my travels, that the woman you describe in your dream is one of our Goddesses. Each form of magic has an associated deity, covering their domain as such. And by your description, I believe you must have met Stel, Goddess of Space. Luckily, a massive boon for you.”
She then opened a jar, and with her free hand scooped out some honey with a honey dipper, lathering it across the bread she had just cut.
“I had heard of tales of the divine bringing champions or sources from other worlds into this one, but never met any of them first hand. Well, until now I suppose.”
She turned around to me, a plate and cup in hand as she set it down in front of me, following shortly by taking another free seat at her table.
“Please, do eat. I imagine this has been a lot for you and you could use something to ground yourself. I imagine beastfolk like yourself are probably even more keen to notice everything new.”
I tilted my head to the side, feeling my ears twitch as they did.
…My ears twitched?
With a cautious hand I reached up to my head, feeling the side where my ears would normally be and…
I felt nothing but hair. Very long and soft hair.
With anxiety I followed the trail of hair up its side, hoping that I was simply hallucinating from my panic and revival.
Unfortunately what met me eventually was fur. Softer and silkier than any I had ever felt before. I followed them up to their triangular tip.
Cat ears. I knew the feeling and shape well.
And all I could do was whine in response. “But I’m human…”
Belle glanced back over to me, a look of concern on her face. “So it seems like we might have a lot more to talk about.”