Chapter Text
It was dusk, the sun had set not too long ago and all felt quiet, far too quiet. Steven was only 5 hours out from beach city, it had been 5 maybe 6 months since he set out on his little journey. He shifted on the grassy field he was sat on. Uncomfortable. He stared up at the sky, dark, not too dark. The moon, overhead and glimmering caught the teens eye.
“The moon looks nice… It’s so bright” He mumbled, placing his hand over his heart.
“You’d be right, dearnest Steven”
And there it was, there he was. Shaggy just shorter than shoulder length brown hair, lighter than stevens. Bangs that covered his nose and eyes. A plain white shirt and a pair of dark grey above the knee shorts. He was thinner than Steven but simply average for weight. Though the way he looked kept shifting, changing, in slight ways.
“Why are you still, I don’t want you here” He said, as he clenched heart through his shirt. “I wanted-” he stopped. “ I needed to be by myself”
“You are on your own”
“I thought the same until others could see you” He shivered
“Perhaps a diamond power of yours?”
He felt his body compulse at the word diamond. He turned himself away from the other boy.
“I don’t remember being able to make people”
“We always learn new things about ourselves. You've been learning stuff about yourself ,no Steven?”
A quiver this time. His body, trembling. He blocked out his thoughts, his memories, her memories- He stared at a flower beside him, his gaze heavy.
But one thing that didn't stay blocked out of his head was HIM. Still there. Now moved to be in front of Steven.
“Does this make me real?” He said before parting his lips one more. “You’re not thinking of anything. If your mind is just hallucinating I should be gone”
“You must've made a “person”, maybe not in a completely concrete form, but still visually there”
“So what if I did?! Can’t you go away?!” Steven snapped at the other boy, waves of pink washing over him, as he sat up from the grassy meadow.
He grinned before placing his hand on Steven's head, caressing his hair. “Why would I leave you? I see no fun in that.” He whispered in Steven's ear. HIM also turning pink.
Steven shook his head before lifting himself, a sense of relief filling his lungs once he got to his car, once HE was out of view. A click, the Dondai’s locks clicking shut. He paused there, hands on the wheel, a sign pointing to beach city with how many miles away it was.
He hadn’t told anyone yet, not the gems, not Greg, not even Connie. He was scared. They left on good terms, sure. They thought he was fine. That he was… not just as miserable as he was before corrupting.
He shuddered at the thought of that monster, of the monster he was, and may still be. Those thoughts were for another time, for one where he didn't feel so overwhelmed.
He shut his eyes, taking a deep slow breath.
“It’s ok Steven, It’s going to be ok. You're loved. Your family cares for you. They’ll be glad to see you” He said with a soft smile as the pink drifted away from him, and a sweet feeling came to him.
He glanced down at his phone, grinning at the last text Connie had sent him a few days ago. She and the rest of Stevens' friends had been giving him the space he well deserved while still checking on him. And perhaps at times that also made him feel quite horrid.
He pressed down on a pedal driving off. Leaving HIM behind. It was for the better, even though he did feel guilty, really guilty. He did look back, a few times. He was still there, in the distant field. Sitting on the meadow, just staring at the Dondai as it drove off.
All he had to do was not to crash the car, as he did have a fairly large record with car crashes. His mind wandered to Connie.
Should I have said something to her? A warning…? Why would I warn her about me coming back for a..visit? That’s a good thing. She’d be happy right? Would she like to see me? Perhaps I’m over thinking. I could invite her to a dinner, definitely not a picnic, I don’t think I’m ready to handle that. Do I even want to go to dinner- Do I even want to see her? Or anyone else?
He sighed, turning the fog lights on as a shroud of fog rolled in. His gaze softened as he let his mind drift to what his friends would say. At first sweet and nice things, then more unsavory things.
They wouldn’t want to be wrapped up in his shit, would they? They didn’t sign up to deal with Stevens' problems.
He sighed, letting out a ragged breath. These were the exact things he was meant to be working on. But he couldn’t help but wonder what they would be expecting of him. For him to perhaps be better after the trip, of which hadn't been going all too well. Did they expect the pink stuff to stop happening?
I shouldn’t assume what they're gonna say
Steven slowed down, He’d been rambling on in his head about his own thoughts for hours. For so long that he hadn't even realised that he was less than 30 minutes out from beach city.
He breathed in, a rough patchy breath. His mind wandered back to HIM. What was he?
He looks sorta like me, just with messier hair.
“Because I am you” he said, appearing in the passenger seat.
Steven rammed on the brakes at the sudden noise of something other than his thoughts, The car swiveled and drifted horizontally on the street, thankfully it wasn't busy.
“So you can just appear wherever, how great” Steven said in an annoyed tone mixed with slight fear, before he thought of what the other said. “What do you mean “Because I am you” How can you hear what I’m thinking? What are you!?” He added, flaring up pink. The other teen doing the same.
“Im your unwanted thoughts, the memories you wish to forget, all the nasty stuff about you, but in a visible form, developed into a…person? Something like that” The boy paused “Like your plants monsters, just in a different way?” He looked down “”
“I don’t think I want my intrusive thoughts as a person”
“Don’t worry Steven, I won’t prevent you from doing anything good”
Chapter 2 soon <333