Chapter Text
twinArmageddons began trolling apocalypseArisen at ??:??.
TA: hey AA.
TA: can ii 2peak two you about 2omethiing.
AA: yes s0llux
AA: fire away
TA: okay iim gonna be completely 2traiight wiith you.
TA: what purpo2e do ii 2erve.
AA: 0_0
AA: s0llux what are you talking about
AA: what c0uld y0u p0ssibly mean
TA: liike, what role do ii fulfiill here.
TA: on the meteor, iin thii2 relation2hiip.
AA: s0llux
AA: we’d all be dead with0ut y0u
TA: would we really?
AA: y0u deciphered the sburb c0de s0llux
AA: y0u made sure feferi was alive
AA: y0u held off eridan
AA: f0r g0ds sake
AA: y0ure the 0ne keeping the mete0r m0ving right n0w
AA: were all d00med with0ut y0u
AA: a little ir0nic, isnt it
TA: wow, how rea22uriing.
TA: a lii2t of thiing2 any idiot could do.
TA: ii diidnt “hold off eriidan”, he ju2t knocked me out while he kiilled fef. ii also could have prevented her death iif ii wa2nt a fuckiing arrogant dumba22 who goaded hiim iinto a duel.
TA: ii diidnt deciipher the 2burb code, you diid.
AA: but with0ut y0u, we w0uldnt have been able t0 actually play it
TA: that2 meaniingle22, AA.
TA: any fuckiing 2chmuck could do that.
AA: but y0ure very g00d at pr0gramming
TA: 2o what.
TA: give KK a couple week2 and hed be good enough.
AA: karkat c0uldnt c0de himself 0ut 0f a paper bag
TA: not right now he cant.
TA: but iit wouldnt be hard for hiim learn how two.
AA: s0llux
AA: y0u used t0 call y0urself the greatest hacker 0n the planet
TA: yeah, well that wa2 when ii wa2 a 2tupiid grub who had never met anyone 2marter than hiim.
TA: hell, wiith what ii now know, my fuckiing mate2priit ii2 2marter than me.
AA: i am definitely n0t smarter than y0u, s0llux
AA: half 0f 0ur c0nversati0ns are just y0u telling me things y0u kn0w
TA: you’d be able two learn tho2e thiing2 your2elf way more ea2iily than me, iif you triied.
AA: i really d0nt thiink s0
TA: why the hell are you tryiing to prove me wrong, anyway.
TA: you know ii hate my2elf.
TA: even iif you were riight, and I am u2eful.
TA: whiich, for the record, iim not.
TA: ii hated my2elf before we met, and iill hate my2elf long after we eventually part way2.
AA: have y0u ever c0nsidered that I d0nt want y0u t0 hate y0urself
TA: ii get iit, you piity me.
TA: that2 how the2e relatiion2hiip2 work, ii know.
TA: maybe ii dont want two be piitiied.
TA: maybe ii dont want two be your liitle pet lo2er.
TA: maybe we 2hould ju2t 2top 2eeiing each other.
TA: then ii could at lea2t hate my2elf iin peace.
AA: s0llux
AA: i dont think i pity y0u
TA: then what fuckiing emotiion do you feel for me.
AA: i think its what the humans call “l0ve”
AA: and i think it w0uld be nice
AA: if y0u l0ved y0urself t00
TA: you really thiink 2o?
AA: yes
AA: 0u0
TA: stiill doe2n’t mean ii 2erve a purpo2e.
AA: just because theres s0me0ne better d0esnt mean y0u didnt d0 all th0se things
AA: y0u might n0t have been the best for each j0b
AA: but n0b0dy else c0uld d0 every 0ne 0f them
AA: besides
AA: arent y0u the 0ne wh0 said that it d0esnt matter what we achieve
AA: since were all g0ing t0 die anyway
AA: maybe
AA: y0u sh0uld try t0 enj0y life while y0u have it
TA: thank2, ii gue22.
TA: ii thiink iill try that.
TA: uh.
TA: love you.
AA: l0ve y0u t00
twinArmageddons ceased trolling apocalypseArisen.
Sollux: and yet ii 2tiil dont love my2elf.
Sollux: ii gue22 2ome thiing2 ju2t take tiime.
Sollux: oh fuck, that 2ound2 liike the kiind of 2tupiid tiime pun 2he’d make.
Sollux: 2iigh.