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Cisco stares at Barry in complete horror and bewilderment. The look on thee Puerto Rican's face is so shocked that Barry kinda wishes he could take a picture. (He probably could without his friend even noticing, but he doesn't think it would be appropriate in the circumstances.)
"Is this a prank? Cisco asks, face still contorted in confusion and looking around his apartment, "Did you break in and plant cameras in my apartment?" He actually walks towards a peace lily in the corner of the room a peers through it's leaves. "I'm being Punk'd...or Oliver put you up to this to get me back for whole wallpaper thing..."
"No, Cisco, this is not a prank," Barry breathes, though he does have to fight back a grin at the memory of Oliver's tantrum over the phone when Cisco remotely changed all the backgrounds on all the Team Arrow computer screens to some erotic fan-art of Donald Trump. Right now is not the time to smile; right now, Barry might be losing one of his best friends. "I'm telling the truth. This isn't a joke."
Cisco stares at Barry, still standing next to the peace lily. He doesn't have much of an expression now, his mouth just open slightly and his eyes a little wider than usual. If Barry knew any better he'd think Cisco was Vibing, but he knows he's not. He knows he's trying to compute what his so-called-friend has just told him.
"No, Barry. This is a joke," Cisco says, his voice wobbling, a shaking hand pointing at Barry. "This is the joke of all jokes. The Joker himself couldn't come up with a joke as cruel and hilarious as this!"
"Cisco-" Barry gets to his feet but Cisco takes a step back. "Oh no you don't!" He walks to the other side of the room. Of course he knows that Barry can follow him about quicker that Cisco could probably decide where to walk to, but he's probably working on the assumption that Barry is going to give him space; if he is, he's right.
"Barry, do you even understand what you've just told me?" Cisco says, and he stands in front of his living room window. Cisco's apartment is four stories up and not in the greatest part of Central City, but it's a nice enough place, if strewn with random mechanical equipment and screwdrivers (and a few dirty t-shirts). Cisco turns his back on Barry and looks out of the window. He repeats himself, "do you understand what you're trying to tell me?" He turns back around and fixes his stare on Barry.
"Yes," Barry says in a small voice. "I just...I had to talk to someone, and you're the only person that I..." he trails off, shaking his head. "I don't know. I just needed someone else to know."
Cisco doesn't say anything, just folds his arms and continues to stare at Barry.
"I'm so tired of lying to everyone outside of the team about everything else, I can't handle keeping this to myself." He looks up at Cisco again, then gets to his feet. "I don't expect you to understand, Cisco, I just..." He wrings his hands. "I can't help it. It wasn't meant to happen, and now I can't stop, and every time he's in town I just...run to him."
Cisco's stare seems to soften a little, and at first Barry thinks things are calming down, but then he realises that Cisco's eyes are wet.
"Cisco-"
"Snart," Cisco says, and his voice is shaking. "Leonard. Snart."
Barry swallows then gives a small nod.
Cisco lets out a laugh, but it's not an amused one - it's desperate, broken. He's hurting, and the shake of his voice almost rocks Barry to his core.
"Barry, I don't care who you do or don't date. I don't care if it's a guy or a girl or....freaking Grodd! But Snart?" His voice trembles. "The guy who had his sister seduce me, take me hostage and then kidnapped my brother. The guy who forced me to build those stupid freaking guns that just won't stop causing shit. The guy who tortured my brother just to find out your name?"
Barry opens his mouth to respond, but he has no words. He'd considered that when he was debating on telling Cisco, but he just couldn't find any other way to cope. He wasn't going to be able to carry this secret on his own for much longer.
"He was going to kill my brother, Barry!" Cisco almost yells. "And sure, I hate Dante more than anyone but he's my brother, and he almost killed him." Cisco turns back to the window and wipes his face on his shirt. Barry just watches him, knowing that he can't say anything that will help. “Even at that, he almost ruined his life,” there’s a sniffling in Cisco’s voice. “I tried to leave S.T.A.R. Labs because of him, Bar.”
Barry nods. He knows there’s nothing else he can say. He came here under the pretence of having a beer and watching some stupid Youtube videos, and of course, Cisco saw right through him. When he finally got Barry to talk, the real reason he wanted to hang out, it was like a verbal vomit all over the apartment and their friendship.
They stay in silence for what feels like an eternity, and Barry almost considers going for a quick run so he can perhaps undo this mess, before Cisco turns back to him. His eyes are red, but he doesn't look angry anymore, just...tired.
"No one else knows?"
Barry shakes his head. "Unless he's told Lisa, but I doubt-" Barry cuts himself off because Cisco lets out a giggle. "What?"
"No," Cisco says, running his hands through his hair. "I just had this awful image of us on a double date; me and Lisa, you and Snart." He lets out another small laugh and Barry can't help be join in.
Cisco finally moves to the sofa and sits down on the opposite end from Barry.
"That's a terrifying image," Barry agrees, and he rubs at his wrists.
"How did it happen?" Cisco asks, and he looks calm enough that Barry thinks he may not actually have to run for his life anytime soon.
"I don't know," Barry says. "I ran into him one day outside the city. He was waiting on that Hunter guy, and he just...kissed me." He shrugs. "One minute I'm asking how Sara is, the next he's just..."
"Ugh."
Barry looks up at Cisco who has a face of disgust. "What?" He knows he has no right to ask that, but he can't help himself.
"You have that stupid...lovey...smitten...puppy-look that Caitlin gets whenever we watch Supernatural." Cisco shivers. "Leonard Snart."
Barry nods. "He's not like he was, Cisco. He's...better. I don't know how to explain it, he just-"
"You don't need to, Barry."
Barry looks up at him.
Cisco is shaking his head, eyes closed but looking very much like he can't believe he's having this conversation. "I trust you, Barry, and you deserve to be happy, if anyone does." He opens his eyes and locks sight with Barry. "I don't like it, I don't like him, but...your face is telling me to trust you. So I will- cautiously, though." He adds. "He ain't invited to any game nights just yet, aiight?"
Barry laughs, feeling like a burning haze has just lifted from his body. "Thank you, Cisco."
"Yeah, well." Cisco says, and he kicks Barry's leg. "I guess one of us should be getting some action, even if it's from a super villain."
Barry lets out a choked laugh and kicks back. "Dude, come on!"
"That's what he said," Cisco laughs, and he tries to dodge another kick.
When their laughter dies down, Cisco turns to Barry, a calmer look on his face than Barry has seen all day. "Have you ever actually...you know...been with a guy before?"
Barry laughs and shakes his head and spreads his hands. "All new territory in every way."
Cisco smiles then his face goes serious all too quickly.
"What?" Barry asks, suddenly panicking again.
"ColdFlash," Cisco says, and his face looks completely zen, like he's discovered Atlantis.
"I hate you." Barry says and bats at Cisco's legs.
"It's perfect, though," Cisco says, but he settles down. "Thank you. You know, for telling me."
Barry smiles softly. "You're my family, Cisco. You're the logical one. I knew I could come to you."
"You can," Cisco replies. "About anything." He pauses. "Other than anything overly intimate about Leonard Snart." He shivers. "Any other dude or girl or telepathic gorilla would be fine, I'd want all the details, but I think I can live without those ones."
Barry rolls his eyes, but before he can reply both their cell phones start to ring.
Back to work.