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Wally had known that this day was coming.
He’d known since the beginning that Maddie wasn’t satisfied with being a spirit - That she needed more answers than any of them possessed. The realization that she wasn’t actually dead and could go back to her body, in theory, had been pressing on him like a weight since they’d made the connection.
He’d been trying to make peace with the fact that she would be leaving to go back to the life she deserved to live for weeks while they fought to make that a reality. Wally had thought that he’d had a pretty decent handle on it, even… Although, when he was honest with himself, he realized he’d just been avoiding thinking about the long term implications of what they were doing would mean.
But now?
Now, Wally had to face the reality unfolding in front of him as he lingered behind Rhonda and Charley, not even listening to their goodbyes. He wanted to be present in the moment, wanted to soak in every last second before Maddie was fully herself again, but it was all Wally could do to keep his breathing steady and the dampness in his eyes from flooding over. His self control had started slipping from the moment Janet mentioned giving Maddie her body back, his head shaking “no” before he even realized what he’d done.
The past month with her had left Wally’s head spinning. He’d seen Mr. Marten’s last notes in Wally’s journal about “puppy love,” (yet another dog reference that Wally resented) but Maddie had left Wally’s soul feeling more alive than it had in decades. She had been a breath of fresh air from the first moment she’d sat down in that stupid circle in the gym, immediately breaking up the monotony that the support group had sunken into.
Mr. Marten had always been somewhat cyclical in his topics of conversation, in the stories and thoughts he had poked and prodded out of them. The way Maddie had blasted right through and fought against every belief Mr. Marten tried to instill in her the way he’d done with all the rest of them was new, exciting, and Wally was immediately taken in.
It may have started off as something akin to puppy love, Wally could begrudgingly admit that, but by the time she’d kissed him at the homecoming dance he knew. What they had was something - No, not even something, but the potential of something, and he felt an incredibly powerful pull to explore it further. It was rare that people ever came to apologize to Wally the way that Maddie had, because it was rare for him to feel so easily seen. He wasn’t sure he’d ever really had that, certainly not from his parents or the vapid cheerleaders he’d dated when alive.
He had promised himself after that that he’d help her find her way back, be his useful self, but even that Maddie had seen through in short order after they’d talked to Yuri. It was amazing the way this strong, powerful girl had bounced into Wally’s afterlife and blown directly through all the defenses he’d been practicing long before his death.
With Maddie, Wally felt seen. He felt heard. He felt ease and freedom in the distinct lack of pressure to be more than himself with her, and if that wasn’t addicting (even more than her touch and the way that alone made his head spin was new) he didn’t know what was.
Walter Clark was entirely confident he’d be happy losing himself within the force that was Madison Nears, partially because he knew that she’d never let that happen.
It felt like eternity but also like no time at all before Rhonda and Charley were stepping back and Maddie’s gaze locked onto his, and Wally felt his breath shake. He was trying so hard to hold himself together as he felt his face pinch, near to losing his grip on his emotions entirely. Much to his shame, Wally had to look away to collect himself before stepping forward to say his own goodbye.
Except he couldn’t even form words, he could only fold down into Maddie’s comfort even as he wrapped his own around her.
The moment was passing far too quickly, punctuated by the dampness of Maddie’s tears against Wally’s skin and his own blinked into her shoulder, and he couldn’t help but give her an extra squeeze as his breath betrayed him again with another shaky near-sob.
Then it was over, and her body was falling into Simon’s arms.
Wally still couldn’t bring himself to be as close as the others, already carefully constructing a box in his mind, placing it next to other boxes with labels like “Mom” and “Football”. This one would just be “Maddie”. He saved those mind boxes for the big, complicated things that he didn’t feel like he could talk about with others, the memories and emotions that were big and heavy and not very “happy-go-lucky-carefree-local-hero-Wally Clark.”
Things started to happen so quickly after that - Maddie’s friends burst in, Mr. Marten grabbed Janet, and suddenly Wally had a lifeline. He had someone else he could focus on, something he could help fix and someone he needed to be, and that made it easier, even as he tried in vain to open the fall out shelter.
It still felt a bit blurry as they all made a mad dash through each other’s scars, but Wally tried his best to keep his focus sharp as they moved. It was easier to breathe as he helped lead them under Charley’s direction, diving into Rhonda’s scar.
Wally had never seen Rhonda look so scared as she did backing away from the man who killed her, and his fist connecting with Mr. Manfredo’s jaw brought him a twisted sense of satisfaction that, just for a moment, he could help slay someone’s demons. Wally only wished someone had been there to do for her in life as he bundled Rhonda against his side, making sure she was alright before moving through the door to Charley’s scar before setting his sights on that vending machine full of peanuts.
The triumph Wally felt at prying the door open soon vanished when they all found themselves in his own scar, facing down an intimidating line of footballers. Still, the others looked to him for guidance that he gave his best to give before running forward. It felt a bit like he was running through mud, the old feelings of needing to be so much moremoremore because he was letting everyone downdowndown stifling him.
The pressure he had always felt of needing to be the Wally Clark everyone wanted was never light, but here it was amplified and it was like everything was crashing down all at once. The first time experiencing it had for sure been the worst; Wally would never forget the half hour he’d spent in a panic attack sobbing on the field after, but that didn’t mean it still wasn’t terrible watching himself die and disappoint everyone.
Wally was just more prepared, more ready, to hide the feelings that welled up like he had always done.
Then he was shoved out of his thoughts, literally, and there was Maddie, in that red dress from their first not-date that had made her eyes sparkle…. And she was walking away, leaving him, unhearing, the same way she was outside of his scar, because he couldn’t offer her any life at all, much less the one she deserved. He still selfishly wanted her to turn around, not to go.
But then there was Rhonda, shaking him out of it and reminding him that wasn’t really Maddie, and then there was Charley, about to get tackled and Wally couldn’t let that happen, no one was allowed to hurt Charley, so on he went. His friends needed him to be strong. Janet needed saving, he could work through his own shit later.
They made it past the field, and Wally could only suck in a breath of relief as the air lightened around him till he realized where they were - Back in some twisted, oceanic version of the boiler room.
Wally immediately spotted her.
It made his heart stutter as he put the pieces together - Maddie, submerged and fighting like she couldn’t reach the surface in this area where she’d first been knocked out of her body, and all Wally could do to plunge his hand into the depths-that-were-shallow, hoping she’d take it.
He couldn’t help but cling to Maddie as he pulled her out, squeezing her tight before checking to make sure that she was alright. Wally wasn’t sure he’d ever shake the mental picture of her fighting to reach the surface, so close but so far at the same time.
Questions swam in his mind as he glanced around the now-dry boiler room, clutching Maddie to him like she was the most precious person on Earth (to him, she was.) He didn’t know what her key was or how she’d found it or why she wasn’t back in her body, but they were on the move again before he could ask and Wally wasn’t even sure he wanted to know - That might lead to entertaining the idea that she’d stay, for him, and that was even more a soul-crushing thought than her leaving.
Yuri had been right to talk to him before, asking if Wally was okay with her staying for him. He wished he could be that selfish, but the truth was that he and all his friends didn’t deserve their untimely deaths and he’d never ask Maddie to give up a chance at living her life for him. Not more than the once, and he hated himself a little for asking then but it had burned within him so fiercely he’d just had to get it out.
Their confrontation with Mr. Marten flew by nearly before he could process it, and the second they stepped out of the scar Wally was making a path for Maddie to get back to her body. It made him melt a bit that she’d left it without a second thought to make sure that they were safe, but now he needed to make sure she got back to it while she could.
Panic started to set in as he looked around for Simon and Nicole and Xavier, realizing that they weren’t by the shelter anymore... But Wally knew he didn’t have time for that as Maddie turned, asking him if she was too late.
Finding their way up to the outside felt just as blurry as before, following Maddie as she sprinted through the halls. Wally didn’t have anyone else to focus on now, only helping Maddie leave, and that felt like it was tearing his heart in two as they locked eyes. He could hear her mother and Simon behind her, and they only served as a stark reminder that she couldn’t stay.
He could see the question in her eyes, knew in that moment that if he asked she would stay.
If he asked, she would.
Wally couldn’t do that.
“Go, Maddie.” Another shaky inhale, just like before.
“It’s time to go.”
Wally could pretend that his voice didn’t nearly crack as he watched her run towards her chance at life.
He could pretend he didn’t hear Charley’s ill-disguised sniffs.
He could pretend he didn’t see the lights from the energy inside the school glimmering off the unshed tears in Rhonda’s eyes.
He could pretend he didn’t even see the physical representation of the energy surging at all, in fact, although he filed it away for later.
Wally couldn’t really tell what happened next - Those were the blurriest moments of all. He knew that he ended up by the field, laying there for hours as he carefully sorted through his Maddie box.
They didn’t know if Maddie had made it - If she was okay.
If she would be able to come back, or if she would be able to see them if did.
Wally thought it might be more than he could bear if he had to watch her walk the halls the last months till graduation, knowing they’d never speak again. Would she try to connect? Would she look for them, or give up?
Somehow, he didn’t think she’d give up. That wasn’t like his Maddie.
But she wasn’t his Maddie, was she? Maddie was alive - He hoped. Alive and breathing and seeing others the same way she’d seen him. That was a gift Wally would cherish for the rest of his afterlife, knowing that there had been someone that he didn’t need to perform for.
Not like his mother, pressuring him into a sport that he didn’t care for that had ultimately killed him. He’d forgiven his mother for that decades ago. She couldn’t have had any idea that his knee was as bad as it was because he hadn’t told her… That pain had caused the stumble during the tackle that ended his life. Wally had just been trying to finally make her proud of him, and he hadn’t even been able to make it to the end zone one last time.
Not like Mr. Marten, seeming forever disappointed that Wally wasn’t giving crossing over his all. Wally had tried, really really tried, in the beginning, but nothing ever happened. He still tried as the years passed, but he’d also grown to accept his existence as doomed to forever relive his high school years - Something Wally now knew was what Mr. Marten wanted all along - For none of them to ever make any progress - But it had still felt crushing all the same.
Not like Charley or Rhonda, who Wally tried his hardest to stay positive for. He felt, sometimes, like the middle sibling in their weird family - Keeping them together like glue, helping Charley through his low points and giving Rhonda space to process through hers then bringing them all back together with donuts when it was time. Trying his hardest to protect them both from the thoughts that they all had about their lives and deaths.
No, Maddie had never had any expectations of him, never shied away from Wally being real. He recalled, again, their conversation in the pottery room - He’d called himself a block of cheese and Maddie was so gentle, so patient.
It was easy to see, in hindsight, why Mr. Marten had likened him to a puppy. Wally still hated it, knowing he was more than that, but he’d also spent so much of his life trying to mold himself into the person people wanted of him that it wasn't a wrong comparison. He was so eager to please, chasing approval he’d never felt like he’d gotten from his parents, trying his hardest to live up to the ideals people thought that he was. He’d gotten more wiggle room in death, and a bit more peace after realizing that he wasn’t going to have to try and make something of himself only to inevitably mess that up, but the afterlife at Split River High had still come with it’s own expectations…. Until Maddie.
All of that didn’t make her his, though. However much light she’d brought with her, Wally could only make his peace with the fact that she was where she needed to be now. She’d needed to go, and he needed to be okay with that… And Wally thought that maybe he could be, in time, as long as she was okay. As much as Wally didn’t care for Simon, he knew that he’d continue to fight for Maddie and watch over her, and that helped a lot.
Blinking as if trying to clear the fog from his eyes, Wally wasn’t sure when he’d entered back into his scar, or why. It was almost like he was pulled inside, moved without his consent.
Things were different this time around - There was no offensive line staring him in the face, which was puzzling. It had been nearly exhilarating earlier, finally making it through the plays that had left him dead with the full force of Rhonda and Charley and Yuri and Quinn with him. It almost reminded him of the part of football that Wally did like - being a team, relying on others as much as they relied on him.
He almost wondered if he’d be able to do it on his own, but as he looked around Wally still couldn’t see them anywhere. Nor did he see his mother, or even Maddie, like last time. (Was that why he’d entered his scar? To get one last glimpse? Wally couldn’t help a snort, that would have been far too pathetic)
What did catch his eye, though, was his door.
It shined so brightly, it was captivating.
Why had it appeared? Was it because he’d not had to relive being tackled and breaking his neck hours before for the first time because he’d finally trusted his team, as misfit for the field as they were? Or was it because Maddie had filled that aching hole in his heart that longed to be known nearly as much as he did?
Wally stood there, staring at that exit sign for what felt like hours, before he reached out…. And shut the door.
He still didn’t know how the night had concluded: if Maddie was okay, what had happened with the energy surging, or how things were going to wrap up with Janet and Mr. Marten.
But more importantly, Wally had promised Charley that he’d say goodbye; had promised that to himself. Wally knew well enough how hard it was the first time around for his friends and family at the time of his death, as well as himself. He had no desire to recreate that.
So he walked away, deep in thought as he wandered through the halls. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell everyone, or if he wanted to just be with them for a while longer first.
That decision was made for him when he stumbled across Janet and Simon, of all people - Wally felt that all-too-familiar spike of fear as he considered that Simon could have died - he couldn’t do that, Maddie wouldn’t be okay without him. The spike transformed into an icy cold snake slithering down his spine as Janet revealed that somehow, impossibly, Simon could bleed. There was no way Wallie was going to cross over and leave Maddie without Simon… Without both of them.
Their meeting shortly after only brought more questions to Wally’s already stretched to the brink mind, and he couldn’t help being snippy as Simon mentioned going into the light. He didn’t understand how Simon could have been so irresponsible - so rash - as to do something like that.
On some level Wally understood that he was angry at Simon for leaving Maddie and basically swapping their positions when Wally would’ve given anything to be able to hold her hand and kiss her again, but that didn’t make it any easier to handle.
Still, Wally couldn’t help wincing at Simon’s retort (“She was only considering staying because of you!”) because he knew just how true it was. Janet swooped in to save the conversation, and Wally was grateful for her grace in handling the deescalation, but Simon’s words were far from false.
And they all knew it.
Wally found himself longing for peace to sort through his mind boxes and create a new one for his door, and there wasn’t anywhere better than the auditorium for that. Even though Maddie had broken Mina out of her loop, Mina still mostly kept to herself and everyone else tended to avoid the area out of habit anyway. Even when he was alive, he’d always liked sneaking into the auditorium - In a different universe, Wally hoped that maybe he would’ve been allowed up on that stage to perform the way he’d secretly wanted to when he was alive. Wally Clark the theatre nerd, not Wally Clark the football star.
He wasn’t expecting to see the exact person he longed for when he entered, and Wally found himself hoping against hope as he called her name. ‘Please, please let her hear me, don’t let this be a trick,’ he begged in his mind….
Maddie turned.
Relief crashed into him with the force of a football tackle and he jogged, itching to be near her, to hold her, to make sure she was okay - And then he felt her go through him.
Wally felt like someone had just thrown a bucket of cold water over him and he found himself dreading her reaction - It was a stark reminder that her boyfriend was dead, unable to touch her or even leave the grounds.
But then Maddie smiled, and stepped closer, and Wally found himself drawn into her orbit again, smelling her shampoo mixed with her distinct Maddie scent as a cautious smile worked it’s way across his face.
She could see him, and that was enough of a start for Wally. Maybe things would be okay. Maybe they could work it out.
Maybe, just maybe, she could still be his Maddie for a little while after all.