Chapter Text
Chapter 1: the most harmless form of hatred
It was the second year of university and Aventurine was setting foot on campus for the first time in 2 months. The first familiar faces he saw belonged to Black Swan and Robin.
Memokeeper waved at him from across the pavement and when Aventurine went over to her somewhat reluctantly, they sat at a picnic table under the trees. It was early morning and as soon as Aventurine hit his head against the table, he began to doze off. Meanwhile, Herta joined them, which was partially a nightmare for Aventurine. Herta was a senior in the Faculty of Sciences and fearing she might say something about Ratio—who was in the same faculty—Aventurine put on his headphones. However, he deliberately kept the music so low that he could hear everything Herta said.
“For Nous' sake! I have no idea why I’m coming here at the crack of dawn! This kind of painful system needs to be redesigned!”
Robin sneezed while tightly holding her coffee in a paper cup, her only source of warmth next to Black Swan. “Madam Herta, I will be looking forward to you saving us!..”
Black Swan joined the conversation with a gentle smile. “Perhaps we should be a little glad just to see each other. Please, don’t be so pessimistic!”
As the students of Stellaron University filled the campus in the following hours and made it more lively, the group of friends Aventurine was part of grew rapidly. Those who found their department mates left the picnic table, while others continued to hang out there. The nearest faculty to the bench where they sat was the Faculty of Education, and those still sitting despite having only 20 minutes until the first class were teacher candidates like Cyrene and Hyesilens. During this process, Aventurine met with Bronya and Topaz from the same department; Topaz was also his best friend with whom he chose elective courses. Bronya left early because her first class was full, and besides the two of them, Robin and her classmate Rappa remained at the table—Topaz had sent him a message saying the two were flirting because Aventurine refused to read group chats all 2 months and only spoke privately with Topaz, Jade, a bit of Bronya, as well as Stelle and Himeko.
While Arlan and Asta compared their class schedules, Luka was calling them both, expressing the disaster of losing his school ID card on the first day of the second semester with a bit too much anxiety. When Asta and Arlan said goodbye to check on their friend, Jingyuan and Jingliu also began to pack up. Theirs was the furthest faculty, the Faculty of Literature, and they claimed they planned to walk, mentioning someone named Baiheng they would meet on the way. As they moved away, two people were approaching the crowd from a distance, holding hands.
Even if Aventurine didn't deserve to be the person who knew Ratio’s posture or his way of stepping best, he sometimes confirmed with a poisonous audacity that he truly was the best person who knew Ratio.
The reason he didn't read the chats all summer and didn't attend most meetings was solely to forget this cursed name. But now, coming face to face…
It didn't do a damn thing.
While Robin and Sunday hugged tightly, they acted as if they hadn't been in the same house all summer, even though they were siblings. They hadn't been, anyway, because before returning to school, after Ratio completed his internship, Ratio and Sunday had gone on a 3 week vacation.
Ratio explained as he began to distribute a stack of tickets to everyone. “Deliver this to our group. Tomorrow evening, at the Express Pub, we will give everyone the gifts we brought from Amphoreus.”
Feixiao asked while cheerfully examining the ticket. “How was your vacation?”
Sunday, “It was nice. The weather was very mild, and we couldn't even finish visiting all the places!”
Robin, “Because you never left the baths! Every time we spoke, you were either in the bath, had just left, or were going there.”
Feixiao, “Is it that good?”
Sunday, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, it’s not exactly a lie.”
When a scent of pheromones that hollowed out Aventurine’s lungs grew heavy, he raised his head and came face to face with Ratio. The young student first gave a ticket to Topaz and then extended one to Aventurine.
Ratio, “Hello, try to come, okay?”
Aventurine snatched the ticket with a smirk and chirped while waving it between two fingers. “When have I ever missed it?” Meanwhile, as he stood up, he shouldered his bag and hastily said goodbye to the group. “I think I’ll walk to the faculty too. See you, good luck to everyone!”
Does this count as running away? Of course, but if you don’t run, you get caught, and Aventurine had no intention of getting caught.
Sunday spoke quickly while looking after Aventurine. “I had a task to handle before the first class, I’m going, take care of yourselves!”
Ratio held his boyfriend for a brief moment and questioned what task he had, but Sunday gave him a quick kiss and said, “It’s about my conflicting classes in the schedule. You stay here.” And then moved away. While the winged beta left with quick steps, Feixiao and Topaz stared after him. As the tall alpha sat in the spot Aventurine had just vacated, the two women asked, "Where is he going?"
Ratio, "To the student affairs office."
Or so they thought.
When Aventurine received a message from Sunday saying they needed to meet urgently at the B block cafeteria of the Faculty of Administrative Sciences, the only thing he could think about was whether the secret he had kept for years had been revealed. At first, anxiety washed over him so intensely that by the time he reached the cafeteria running and out of breath, Sunday was at the table 5 minutes later with almost the same anxious appearance. As he sat in the chair, a faint smile passed over his face.
While Aventurine calmed his own emotions, the noise of breakfasting students opening packages with sluggish grunts dominated the surroundings.
Sunday, "What's up?"
Aventurine offered his characteristic smile. "Good, you?"
"..." He just nodded to show he was fine. "How was your break?"
Summer break was good. He played plenty of video games and attended Himeko’s movie nights. He went skateboarding and clumsily covered some songs.
Still, Aventurine feared that if he told these things, it would be thought that he was showing off. Therefore, he rolled his eyes and grunted loudly. "As good as a vacation can go without you troublemakers!"
"Haha! I guess I should be glad you think that way."
Aventurine confirmed. "The feeling is mutual, I hope!"
A silence entered between them for a while and lasted until Sunday decided to speak. "There was a matter I needed to talk to you about."
Aventurine accepted weakly, not knowing what to say. "Ah... Yes... You wrote it was something urgent..." Before he had time to start building disaster conversations in his head, Sunday said it without beating around the bush, as a very straightforward person. "Would I be overstepping my bounds if I asked you to sleep with Ratio?"
Aventurine was so unresponsive to what he heard that he stared blankly at the white-haired man's face for a minute. Do you know what is best in such moments? Aventurine will tell you: turn it into a joke! Because reality is the hardest thing to deal with.
That’s why Aventurine burst into a laugh. "Hahahahahahahah!!!"
Sunday, "..."
However, his laughter was buried in silence at Sunday’s pathetic expression.
Aventurine, ".......Are you serious??"
Sunday looked away and, putting his hands on the table, began to explain everything more clearly. "Ratio is an alpha and I am a beta, you know. Such physiological traits might not matter when falling in love, but when it comes to Ratio’s rut... during rut, a beta is not enough for an alpha." He continued with a sigh. "Ratio needs an omega during his ruts."
Aventurine was an omega—at least he hadn't expected it himself—contrary to what was expected when both his parents were betas, and he might be the only omega Sunday could trust. His other friends were either not omegas or those who were omegas had partners. Looking around at this age, it wasn't hard to find an unpartnered omega, but it was hard to find an omega both Sunday and Ratio could trust. Moreover, Aventurine and Ratio have a long, trouble-free friendship back 10 years.
Aventurine moved his saliva around in his mouth to relieve the dryness of his palate. Fearing his voice would tremble but unable to prevent it, "What does Ratio say to this?"
Sunday shook his head negatively. "I haven't told him yet."
This was a big thing: a person allowing their lover to sleep with someone else.
Besides, what could Aventurine say to this?
Sunday, "You don't need to answer right away. You can think about it."
Aventurine nodded; how could he accept this? How?! “I don't want to emotionally hurt any of you, and in your proposal, this is something inevitable, Sunday. Are you aware of this? Also, I know many alpha-beta or omega-beta couples. How did you get to this point? I mean, you don't have to tell me. What I mean is, are you sure—are you both sure—that the problem stems from secondary genders?”
Sunday, “Ratio has serious pheromonal and hormonal problems. I can't ignore these. If you consider this as our friend, I would of course share the details when you ask.”
Friend? Who could call Aventurine a friend in this situation? Which human wouldn't be broken when promised that they could embrace the person they love with at least a bit of intimacy?
Sunday, "I have to go now. Unlike you, I really need to walk to student affairs first and then to the faculty! See you, Aventurine."
"Sunday..."
The winged beta stopped just as he was about to leave and looked back. "Hm?"
"If I don't help, will you find someone else?"
Sunday said in unease. "Of course. But it will be difficult. I don't think Ratio could trust anyone else either."
Aventurine is also the person who betrays their trust the most. No one in this world should fall in love with a close friend they have known for years.
Sunday’s answer was enough for Aventurine to make a decision. Was it a crime to not want Ratio to sleep with another omega? Most likely, yes. Yet, Aventurine had already extended his tongue to taste the crime. Sunday was already the person Ratio had chosen and was way out of his league, but if Ratio was going to get intimate with some random person off the street, Aventurine was eager—in blood and sweat—to be that random person.
At first, he didn't accept it.
He had planned to refuse until the next day. More accurately, he was hopeful that for once in his life, he would make the rational choice, a choice harmless to himself. The dice were 2 and 4, it would be greedy to roll them again for a higher number. After all, there was no guarantee a 1 and 2 wouldn't come up.
When he entered the Express Pub with the ticket in his hand, he was sure he could do this. What if things go terribly wrong once I accept? I didn't have a good chance since the very beginning of life anyway. I don't want to have to drop out of school.
Sunday was a good person, and he and Ratio were kind to each other; still, it was a beta-alpha match rather than an omega-alpha match. An injustice nature had done to them.
As he stepped into the pub, he bumped into Ratio at the door, stumbled back, and was very angry until the pheromones began flying wildly around him. He was already tense, and which piece of shit brat was it that carelessly bumped into him? As it turned out, it was Ratio.
When Aventurine looked up slightly at Ratio, Ratio spoke. “You made it.”
“You told me to try.”
“Good try.” Ratio added, turning his head toward the interior. “We’re still waiting for some people. Go in and grab something.”
“Alright.”
Aventurine went inside through the path Ratio opened and walked to the bar counter accompanied by faint music. When he took out his phone and opened Sunday’s message box, he wrote a flawless text.
Aventurine
If Ratio isn't uncomfortable with this situation, at least we can try; I’m taking it seriously since you said it’s a health issue.
He didn't want to seem too eager—he wasn't that eager anyway—but it felt as if he didn't stop Sunday right away and tell him he accepted, the next moment Sunday would come to him and say they had found another omega. That would completely destroy Aventurine. Just getting used to sharing Ratio with Sunday stole a year and a half from him. At least as a friend.
After a while, a reply came.
Sunday
Thank you, I will make sure you talk with Ratio.
How would Ratio react to this? Would he suspect the way Aventurine accepted it? No, actually, if you are already in love with someone and that person is not your close friend, you never suspect your close friend likes you.
Aventurine would be doing this for the sake of their friendship, and what a coincidence, at the core of it, Aventurine had convinced himself that he was indeed doing this for their friendship.
Towards the middle of October, they gathered to distribute gifts right after the break. For the double celebration day, the couple chose the nostalgic bar they always went to with everyone. Express Pub was a bar run by two close friends named Himeko and Welt Yang. Twins named Stelle and Caelus worked part-time here. Of course, there was also a new employee named Dan Heng.
He didn't know how Ratio would look at him anymore. While thousands of terrible scenarios slipped through his mind, a cocktail glass graced his palms and lips. While the tension caused his stomach acid to rise and burn his throat, Boothill and Argenti came over and joined him at the bar counter.
Argenti was studying Gardening and Boothill was a senior in veterinary medicine; they were pointlessly arguing about which garden flower a certain bird species liked the most.
In the middle of the argument, Aventurine asked curiously. “Don't bees usually like flowers?”
Argenti, “Excuse me?”
Aventurine snapped, pouting his lips. “Why are you looking like that, I might not know!”
Boothill, “These birds always chirp near Campsis Radicans to impress their mates; technically they don't love the flower, yeah.”
Argenti, “They prefer Red Vangelyas more.”
Boothill, “Are you a bird expert or a plant expert?”
Argenti, “Both!”
And as they continued to argue, Sunday came over clapping his hands and called them to the long table where everyone was gathered. “We’re giving out the gifts and you’re just here drinking! Did you miss us or the alcohol?”
Argenti, “Forgive our rudeness, Priest, we’re coming!”
Boothill jumped off the chair after downing his glass and joined the others ahead, while Argenti and Aventurine found themselves chairs. Finally, gifts began to be distributed from one end. Ratio gave Feixiao a necklace made of a real wolf tooth, guaranteeing it was a wolf that died of natural causes. He gave a shampoo to Jingyuan and a ball-patterned bandage to Blade; the pattern was tiny cats. While they gave Herta a huge fancy mirror, Herta could barely stop herself from kissing herself in the mirror. Ratio gave Aventurine a box that would only take up a handful of space. While it was wrapped in a shiny bag, Aventurine opened the box directly; when a purple plush—one produced per 1,000 boxes, which he had spent half his yearly budget trying to get and never succeeded—came out, he sprang from his chair and shouted at Ratio. “WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS?!”
Ratio spoke with a delighted smirk. “It came out on my third try. Actually, I was just trying my luck.”
Aventurine, “LUCK??? THIS ISN'T LUCK! THIS IS A BLESSING!" He continued to speak rapidly as he slumped into his chair and turned the plush over and over. “I bought exactly 9,872 boxes for this and couldn't get it even once! I can't believe it's real…”
Ratio, “If you invest that much money in any game of chance again, I’ll take the plush back.”
Aventurine warned almost hissing while pressing the plush to his chest. “Never!”
Ratio answered, narrowing his eyes. “We’ll see.”
Along with the gift-giving, the period of being buried in drinks and food extended up to 2 hours, and Aventurine, frustrated that he remained sober no matter how much alcohol he consumed, went out for a cigarette break. It was only when he placed the cigarette he’d stolen from Jade between his lips that he realized something—a lighter—was missing.
As he took the cigarette out of his mouth and rolled it between his fingers, someone walked toward Aventurine from the corner of the street. “I didn't know you smoked.”
Aventurine raised his head and looked at Ratio, whose purple hair swayed in large curls. “It’s still the same, I don’t. I probably would have only smoked half of it. Do you have a lighter on you?”
Ratio nodded in the affirmative. “We just lit cake candles, but I’m not giving it to you.” He took the cigarette resting between Aventurine’s elegant fingers, broke it, and held it in his palm.
Aventurine lowered his gaze to the bent cigarette. “I could have given it back to its owner.”
Ratio, “Whoever the owner is, they shouldn't smoke either.”
Aventurine raised his head and giggled. Leaning his head against the brick wall behind him, he grumbled amidst the loud music coming from other bars. “Health watchman.”
Ratio turned his back to the wall and, mimicking the omega, leaned his head against the wall. “Are you sober enough to talk about the situation Sunday mentioned?”
Aventurine, feeling as if he were being swept away by Ratio’s breath at the end of the sentence, clenched his sweaty palms and hid them in the pockets of his thin sweatshirt, asking in a frivolous tone. “Can I make a joke about it?”
Ratio murmured with a bitter smile. “Are you relaxed enough to joke about it?”
Aventurine swallowed and shook his head.
Ratio, “I’m not relaxed enough to hear a joke, either. And regarding my health—especially as someone aware of basic sciences—I cannot ignore doctor’s advice.”
Aventurine, “Let me state that I have no idea about your pheromonal and hormonal problem.”
Ratio, “It bores me to explain but… because I have difficulty releasing my pheromones, I experience a hormonal imbalance, which causes fever, vomiting, and headaches. At a more advanced level, I experience problems with my veins, and this leads to bleeding.”
Aventurine pulled his back away from the wall and scanned Ratio with concern. “Aeons… Ratio, don’t talk like you’re going to die!”
“Is that how it sounds?” When Ratio turned to Aventurine with furrowed brows, the omega’s pale skin made his heart ache. Having someone worry about him is the most annoying thing in the world. They try to comfort him and give advice without knowing anything. Ratio is always already aware of what is logical, and if he isn't choosing it, he has made a more logical choice. While most people are stupid and annoying, Aventurine is at a tolerable point for Ratio. His stupidity was more of a purity—an unadulterated purity—and Ratio sometimes regretted playing games with him, and this time, it wasn't a game. Even if they were to perform this mentioned intimacy through mutual trust and for the purpose of helping, their form of friendship would inevitably change. Ratio was unfortunately sad about this fact, but on the other hand, his illness was now bringing him physical pain, and he still had the radicalness to admit that his mental state was not as stable as before. In other words, he was making the most logical choice.
Ratio, “Still, I won’t die. Know that I won’t die.”
Aventurine, tilting his neck, sniffled in the October breeze. “Are you sure?”
A couple passed by on the street, and after Ratio watched them and turned back to Aventurine, he answered. “Yes.”
Aventurine, “But if something happens, tell me, okay?” Then, quickly remembering they were just friends, he added. “Even if you don't tell me, tell Sunday or your doctor.”
Ratio gave a vague nod. “So… sex is the easiest way for pheromone release, but when the alpha and omega genders were placed into humans in a laboratory setting, they were rooted in being complementary. That’s why they say the healthiest way for me as an alpha to engage in sexual action is with an omega.” Running his hand through his hair, he added a piece of unpleasant information with the tip of his tongue. “At this point, medications have stopped helping, and an overdose could cause organ failure.”
Aventurine, “I hope you like your organs.”
Ratio, “If I didn't, I wouldn't be here.”
Aventurine whispered, letting out a relieved breath. “Good.” As the omega stepped up and down on the edge of the pavement, he spoke again. “Have you ever tried it with an omega?”
Ratio questioned him with a sharp sideways glance. “Are you asking whether I’ve ever cheated on Sunday?”
Aventurine, “No! I meant before Sunday! I mean, are you sure it will work?”
Ratio, “I’m not sure, but it has worked for others experiencing the same problem.”
Aventurine, “Everyone isn't the same. Why don't you just try it first?”
Ratio, “Do you want me to try it with someone else first and prove the method is functional? Do you want the other omega’s signature too, or something?”
Aventurine bit his lower lip, waving his hands in front of him. “You know I don’t want that! Ratio… Huh… I thought you weren't in the mood for joking…”
Ratio clicked his tongue.
Aventurine, “I want you to try it, yes, but I didn't imply you should find someone else. If that were the case, I wouldn't be here right now, would I? I’m trying to be helpful, but at the same time, you already have a romantic relationship. I’m trying to eliminate factors that would hurt you guys as much as possible.”
Ratio blurted out in one go. “My relationship is not a subject you need to think about.”
The streetlight flickered with a sizzle, and Aventurine swallowed. He had never seen Ratio as a rude person; in fact, the alpha had never been rude to him, but the "good friend" role Aventurine took on with a tiny hope for closeness had exposed him. For a moment, he couldn't recognize the boundaries. He didn't know what to answer now.
Ratio, realizing he had said something he shouldn't have, took a sharp breath. “I know my relationship stresses you out in such a situation. And I suppose I am tense, too… The alcohol, as well… Anyway, let’s talk again with a sober head after class tomorrow. Is that okay?”
Aventurine, “I have classes all day tomorrow. Another day.”
Ratio pulled his back away from the wall and spoke before leaving Aventurine alone with his shadow under the streetlight. “Fine, write to me whenever you are available.”
Aventurine let out a murmur of approval and watched Ratio toss the broken cigarette into the trash before turning the corner.
He grabbed his chick-yellow hair and stomped the ground with his right foot while pulling at it.
I hate alcohol and I hate myself! Hate!
To be continued.