Chapter Text

Ursa had not chosen her marriage but it had not always been miserable.

Her husband, then merely second Prince, Ozai, had not chosen his part in it either and so in a sense they were in the same boat.

Although Ozai at least had a choice.

He could reject the marriage, reject his father’s chosen union born of superstition and an ancestor's dying wishes. But Ozai had spent his life in his brother’s shadow and any chance for a victory Prince Iroh couldn't steal was one he took without hesitation. Ursa resented her fate from the beginning, back then loudly and with an energy driven by the earnest belief that she had the power to fight back.

But she had not resented Ozai back then.

People have a remarkable capacity to find meaning, even to justify the cruelties inflicted upon them. It is easier when they have known nothing else but even for one who has known better it is not impossible. With time Ursa came to accept her lot, her marriage and the family that she was required to build and told herself that Ozai was in her same position. And it was easy because he too had not chosen this, and she could ignore that he had the choice to not choose it, that his indecision was not neutrality . It brought the bare comfort that he did not view her with any more disdain than he did anyone else. It did not take long into her life at the Imperial court to meet many women who could not say the same.

It was a little awkward. He obviously cared more for the throne, more for his father’s recognition than anything even remotely related to her or anyone else. The prince had a habit of making her laugh by poor choice of words, by obvious discomfort with the situation, and by a hundred other little things that she learned to find endearing. They grew closer and with time, were even happy.

There came a time where she thought maybe he loved her.

He became his father slowly.

Azulon had sent him abroad on some pointless diplomatic assignment so he missed the delivery. He arrived a few days later and looked at his son like something foreign. Something about having a child, particularly a son, seemed to set him off balance. She remembers the look in his eye when she became pregnant for the second time and people called Zuko his “firstborn,” as if he thought it was a title that Iroh alone could wield. There was a hesitance to the way he dealt with his son, like he knew to pull himself back. As the peace of the early years died she told herself that the dying embers of the man she thought he could have been was the real Ozai.

As Ursa has watched her children chasing the ghosts of his love she has often wondered if it would have been better if he had always been what he is now.

Zuko was quiet, and cautious back then and Ozai expected something different from a firstborn son. Zuko grew slowly and steadily and Ozai had expected speed from a firstborn son. He was the spitting image of his father and Ozai did not know what to do with that. His expectations became standards, none of which Zuko lived up to.

Azula was different.

Ozai hadn't expected anything at all from a second child, especially a daughter.

He once said a daughter would be easier and she asked him if he thought she would come out on a pallanquin, quiet and demure, like a little lady of the court. It was the first time in a long time she had caught him truly off guard. After a moment's silence gave her a rare laugh and kissed her on the head.

She did not turn out to be quiet or demure.

She was born on Ember Island instead of the capital. Azula was loud and bold and filled with never ending reserves of energy. When she was a baby she was constantly crying and then she learned to walk and run and became the terror of the servants. Every day she made a mess of a new place, and caused panics many times by finding the most obscure places to hide.

She seemed to always know exactly what to say to get what she wanted, to get out of what she didn't and she seemed to know exactly who could get it for her. When she started making friends they each turned out to be the great families of the capital, the children of old families and new money, hungry for recognition. Even her namesake, seemed unable to simply dismiss her. Azula spent many of her younger days sitting next to her grandfather at meetings with generals, admirals, powerful ministers and rising stars at court.

Ozai was surprised and then delighted, Azula was everything that he had wanted in a son. 

Ursa did what seemed right at the time. She protecter her son, and trusted that her husband truly cared for at least one of his children.

Long before he took the throne Ozai had seen something in his children that others did not: Balance. While she knew Zuko had spent his life chasing the praise and recognition Ozai gave to Azula, Ursa did not realize for many years that just as much Azula fled from the scorn he held for his son. Of course Azula was a daughter, not a son, so no matter how high she rose she could always be cast down or thrown into a terrible fate.

She could always become her mother.

So when Iroh took Zuko to study abroad Ursa had been hopeful. The Dragon of the West could keep Zuko safe and he would get a chance to experience life without his father hovering overhead. With her son safe she would have time to let down her guard and reconnect with her daughter. But Azula did not want to bond with Ursa. She didn't want to share hobbies, or to go on outings, or to talk about her friends or music or romance. When Ursa asked, Azula seemed to become the only teenager on the planet who truly just wanted to work and study and could barely be dragged into rest and relaxation. Ursa learned more about Azula’s tastes by asking her friends than she ever did from her daughter and when she asked about boys or crushes even her friends seemed to know nothing at all. Aside from Mai, whose father was friends with the Firelord, none of Azula’s friends even seemed to visit when Ozai was around.

Ursa did not think about that much at the time.

Her daughter had a talent for cutting words. Azula could say something that was totally untrue but it would stick in you like a knife and pulling it out felt more dangerous than leaving it be. The problem is that these sharp words were absurd. They were totally untrue. And she had to know that because how could she not? She couldn't imply that kind of thing and really mean it. She couldn't actually believe that about her own mother. These were just words said in anger and she couldn't possibly believe them.

“Stop pretending you love me”

Ursa did not enjoy thinking about her arguments with Azula.

But she had time and Azula was at that age so more than likely these things would resolve themselves with just a bit of work and patience. Ozai was a busy man and could not hover over his children like he used to.

Ursa found the opportunity to get her own break from the palace a week after Azula’s 15th birthday. For the first time in many years she would get to go back to Hira’a, where she was born and where she spent her entire life before being married off. She had long ceased caring for the parents who had traded her away but she had hopes that perhaps she would find something valuable in the past. She met Ikem again and they talked about getting older and having kids. She told him about her daughter and he said she sounded like a girl named Ursa, he used to know. That frightened her a great deal.

By the time she would be back at the palace her daughter was already gone.

Three years and two days ago, an argument in the night the day after she had left had spiraled out of control. Servants scattered as the threat of being caught up in the rage of two of the most powerful figures in the Fire Nation. A shocking announcement followed: Azula of Ember Island, of the House of Sozin and Zoryu, By the Grace of Agni Princess of the Blood was given an official posting as Fire Nation Special Representative to Yakoya Island. Three years ago, early in the morning Azula left the palace and the capital on the Firelord’s private jet. Ursa had been racing back to the palace and had just arrived when news reported Azula's arrival in Yakoya.

Ozai refused to speak on the matter and Ursa could do nothing about it.

Azula did not call home. Her number had changed when she had moved abroad, the timezone was seven hours later and Azula was rarely at the embassy and if she was it was for some event or another which would keep her from answering calls. As far as Ursa knows Azula hadn't really called anyone back home after she left.

The Firelady was reduced to hearing about her daughter from the news.

Every so often Azula would appear in the background of a photo, or shaking someone’s hand or standing with a crowd of dignitaries. She would speak at a formal event, about longstanding cultural ties or historical alliances and future cooperation. She seemed to make a good impression but it was just that, an impression.

Her biggest splash came from a passing remark, something that could have been said without a thought, or could have been carefully placed to test the waters. Azula had listed Yakoya, Omashu and Gaoling, as independent states. Ba Sing Se called it a deliberate attack on the sovereignty of the Earth King, Fire Nation news called it honesty, delegates from the states smiled and nodded with either depending on who was in the room.

With this came a wave of stories about the special representative, a Princess growing up in a foreign land, attending a school for commoners, while taking on a diplomatic position that was normally reserved for trained and supervised officials. Some took the whole incident as a result of sending an inexperienced young girl to do a real job but Ursa had a feeling Azula’s choice was more careful than it seemed, even if it was made in the moment.

In all of the photos and the videos Azula's hair seemed shorter, like it had just fit into her topknot.

Ursa wondered when that had happened. Azula always had such beautiful hair.

Ursa spent a lot of time thinking about her life while her children were away.

A lot of time thinking about the past, everything that brought her from a wetland village to the halls of power. A lot of time to think about the things she had done to survive, the things she had done to protect her children. A lot of time to think about her son, who she had protected with everything she had. A lot of time to think about her daughter.

In some ways Azula seemed to have grown into a little soldier: her stumbling run had grown into a disciplined march; her posture had straightened into an iron rod; she always seemed to be on edge, always just a little wary even on the happiest occasions; she always kept people within her line of sight. Sometimes when Ursa or one of her friends got too close she froze, for just a second. Azula did not like it when this was pointed out.

Two years ago her son returned brighter and happier than she’d ever seen him. Time away from home made Zuko confident and capable in ways he never thought he could be. Ozai struggled to find flaws in every step he took and Iroh stuck around, always there to reassure him and push him in the right direction.

Ursa was glad that she finally had someone she could trust to look after Zuko at the palace. Although her trust for the Dragon of the West ended there.

They were on fine enough terms but the two had rarely been on the exact same side of the drama of court.

As shocking as it had been, leaving home might have all turned out to be a good thing for Azula. Going to school surrounded by normal girls could be better for her than the Imperial Academy and having some time away from her father’s influence would only be good for her.

Ursa had some hope.

Ty Lee had apparently visited the island just before coming to the palace to see Mai and Zuko.

Out of all of Azula’s friends, “Lee” she used to call her was the one that stuck out of the palace the most, and the one who seemed to steer the farthest from the Firelord. When Ursa asked about her daughter Ty Lee laughed Ursa’s worries away. She told her that Azula was doing “more than fine.” and smiled. She seemed a little sad for reasons Ursa didn't fully understand.

Later, Ursa overheard a snippet of her conversation with Mai, although she’s not sure she was supposed to. Mai seemed like she was already angry with Azula for some past slight, Ty insisted that something had changed, that “being safe looks good on her.”

Time passed with more of the same: Ty Lee which brought infrequent and vague updates; Zuko growing more confident and establishing himself at court; a birthday call unanswered and a brief mention in the news, accompanied by an out of date photo.

Two months ago Ozai started to talk about Azula’s return.

The Firelord’s word, even in half reference, is not to be underestimated in his nation. The news had been quiet for a long time, so rumor replaced certainly and soon enough the palace was swimming in tall tales and outrageous rumors.

“The Princess negotiated a secret alliance with Omashu.”

“She’s gone insane.”

“Agents from Ba Sing Se tried to assassinate the Princess but His Majesty doesn't want to start a war so they’re keeping it quiet until she’s recovered.”

“She shot a man, just to watch him die.”

“Yakoya has agreed to become our protectorate, though they insist the treaty be kept secret.”

“She eloped with an Admiral’s son”

“She’s taken over the island. The governor is a puppet, who dances to her tune.”

“She shaved her head and covered herself in tattoos. The Firelord is worried for his reputation.”

“The Princess is leading an anti piracy mission with the navy, they’re about to launch a major operation.”

“The Firelord is beginning a religious revival, Azula’s to be made head of the capital’s temple.”

“Azula’s been training with Imperial Intelligence since she was five. Yakoya’s nearly at the end of its use as a base, so they’re getting ready to recall most of their agents.”

The reality was that Ozai had no grand reason for his daughter’s return, nor some terrible controversy to cover up. For all of his love of intrigue and scheming he was a remarkably easy man to figure out once you had all the factors.

The first half was the issue of succession. Alone in the palace, Zuko represented the future and ties into the royal family, which made him a gateway to power and influence. Azula’s candidacy for the throne remained acknowledged but the court focused on the figure they actually had access to rather than a distant diplomat who only communicated on matters of state.

When both had been at the palace Azula and Zuko had also served as a balanced set of scales, keeping each other in check. Now that Zuko had learned to endure Ozai’s cruelty and now that Iroh was there to reassure him, Ozai didn't have a mechanism to keep his son under control. He was stuck falling back on telling his son about what Azula would have, or could have done if she were here.

The Firelord had realized that his teenaged daughter had been doing more work to manage his government than he could have ever admitted. Azula hadn't just been his daughter, she had been a key player at court, the kind of figure who could decide or remake the balance of power when she wished. She was confident, capable and most importantly loyal. Azula could be sent to deal with important issues with minimal instructions and with wide latitude to do as she pleased.

With her gone Ozai lacked a competent second (Ursa still laughed with Qin sometimes about Zhao’s “moonfish” incident) and was thus forced to micromanage the court.

Ultimately he didn't even end up getting the chance to recall Azula. Yesterday, Special Representative Azula announced her resignation on her own terms, claiming it originated in a conflict of interest, the details of which would be clarified in the coming days. Once more the palace buzzed with half formed rumors, most building off of the Firelord’s changing tact into the idea that this would be some sort of manufactured excuse for the real reason. Servants and courtiers eagerly anticipated the coming proof of their theories and the disproving of their rivals. Ursa had honestly expected something mundane, that Ozai had signalled her in some way and she had found an excuse, or that Azula was just tired of her position and wanted to go home. She was happy to see her daughter but worried about what would come next.

The real story came out the next day, announced at 9:00 am Yakoya time, to the day three years since her flight from home.

The truth turned out to be a little bit dramatic.

Ursa was… She didn't quite know how to feel about it.

She decided that she was keeping her cool about this.

She did wish Azula had maybe just finally called her or something? Just answering a call from Ursa one of the million times she tried would have been fine.

Even passing a message through Ty Lee would have been better than nothing.

 Finding out from a headline while scrolling at 3am was just a tiny bit jarring.

Starcrossed Love:

Princess Azula Announces Engagement to Yakoya Local

Okay, let's be honest.

Ursa is freaking out.