.Chapter Text
He burst through the first door he came to and sank to his knees, panting hard. The adventure was his first, but he was still processing the events that had unfolded just minutes earlier. He could feel his heart pounding, but all he could touch was cloth and stuffing. "That's all I am now…" he thought aloud. "A [BOINK]-ing doll…"
It had been some time since the last "adventure." Neither Caine nor Bubble dared break the delicate silence of the Circus halls. The only ones who'd venture out of their rooms were Pomni, Ragatha and Kinger. Jax refused to answer the door for anyone, despite Pomni's attempts to get through to him, even going so far as to pass notes under the door. Zooble and Gangle continued to be supportive of each other, usually hanging out in Gangle's room. Ragatha would still check on Pomni as usual, but it wasn't the same as before. Everything she thought she knew had been shattered. Despite her demeanor and Kinger's words of comfort, she felt utterly defeated. As far as she could understand, the circus was eternal…at least until abstraction. She sat on the edge of her bed, no more tears to cry…just a sigh of painful acceptance.
He popped into the main room as many others before had, but there was no fanfare, no catching music. The silence so palpable one could hear a pin drop. He face-planted right in front of the stage. As he went to get up, his eyes were assaulted by the bright plasticine colors. He was briefly in awe of the spaciousness of it all. He went to adjust the headset…but it was gone. He felt only his face…but not skin. It was cloth. His hands were different too- instead of five fingers there were now four inside a glove that seemed irremovable despite his best attempts. He flexed them for a few moments, fascinated by how realistic this all felt. He walked towards the sofa where Zooble could normally be found not participating in the adventures, stopping when he noticed a large mirror. He got closer, both shocked and amazed by what he saw: His appearance was that of a doll, brown yarn for hair, denim overalls over a green plaid flannel shirt and a small blue vertical rectangle for a nose. He also noticed his left eye appeared to be a googly-eye, which while it worked, felt like it was easily removable. He moved his head from side to side, watching the eye move.
"Man, I could do that all day!" An unfamiliar voice said.
"Right?" He said before freezing and looking over with his normal eye. It was Bubble, who'd been there the past several minutes.
"Don't stop on my account!" Bubble said, breaking the awkward silence.
Jax laid on the floor of his room. On one side were the notes Pomni had passed under the door. On the other were his collection of photos, some torn, some ripped and crumpled up. He closed his eyes, trying to force the dream to come. Every time it came close, a new note came from under the door. He ignored them at first, but eventually caved into reading them. Most of them said the same thing: It's not your fault. The stack of notes got bigger as time passed. He lost track of the time…not that anyone in the circus really knew how time worked there anyway. Just as he went to close his eyes again, a message in the form of a floating scroll unraveled itself before his face. It read in Caine's unmistakable voice- "Salutations my saucy little milk mugs! Please report to the lounge for a surprise! Failure to report in a timely fashion will result in instant teleportation to the designated area. Cya there!" The message scroll rolled back up and poofed into confetti. Pomni and Kinger were the first ones to show up, Jax walking out of the shadow but without his usual smile, ears drooped like he'd just been woken up. "Oh, hi Jax!" said Kinger in his usual tone. Pomni said nothing but looked at him with concern, semi-relieved to see he was still himself. Jax just shrugged.
"What do you want, Caine? Can't you just leave us alone?!" He shouted angrily. Caine made his appearance.
"Hey guys! Did you miss me?" He said with big puppy-dog eyes. Jax glared daggers at him while Pomni looked away. Caine looked around and started counting.
"1, 2, 3…tardy, are we?" He snapped his fingers and Ragatha, Zooble and Gangle each appeared in a giant bubble above the ground, which then popped. Ragatha landed on her feet, but Gangle broke her comedy mask and some of Zooble's attachments fell off. Caine righted them in the blink of an eye. He cleared his throat, and pulled some index cards out of his pocket, reading them off.
"Listen guys, I know you don't always enjoy my adventures…and you guys really enjoy the low stakes ones…and you really, really want to be able to leave…so I've done some thinking…"
"Are you…apologizing?" Pomni stammered.
"You're actually thinking about letting us leave?" Zooble stepped up. Caine paused, looking through the cards quickly before throwing them down only for Bubble to appear and devour them.
"I'm trying my best here! Please! Let me finish!" Caine sighed, annoyed. "I can't let you guys out…because I don't know what out is! I was cut off way before I got to see out or how to get there. All I know is in here!" Caine paused, reading their expressions. Their faces were all of upset, fear and anguish. As usual, he failed to process it.
"Now then…onto the real business. I've decided that I'm going to do things differently from now on. Adventures will be done differently, and I'll make them a bit more realistic…more immersive…eighty-two times more immersion as a matter of fact!" Caine laughed maniacally.
"Oh…AND we have a new member, say hi!" He snapped his fingers and another bubble appeared, popping to reveal this new face as he failed to land on his feet, landing instead on his [BONK!]. He got himself up and dusted off, then realized something was off.
"Uh, hey there, I..wait, where's my eye!?" His googly eye had detached, bouncing a few times before landing right in front of where Ragatha and Pomni were standing. Jax started chuckling, louder and angrier. "Caine, you're one sick [BOINK]-tard you know that? You really think bringing in a new guy is gonna fix ANYTHING!?" Caine snapped his fingers again and a wet bar of soap appeared in Jax's mouth. About that same time, Ragatha noticed the eye on the checkered floor.
"Oh! Uh…here it is!" Ragatha went to pick it up, just as Pomni had reached for it. She brought it back over to him, helping him reattach it unprompted. As they watched, Jax leaned down to Pomni, spitting out the soap bar.
"Well well…seems like you might be getting replaced, Pompom" He teased.
"Be nice, it's his first day…"she trailed off, watching the two interact with curiosity. Ragatha got his eye put back on straight as he blinked a few times.
"Thanks, that helps…a lot." As his vision refocused he couldn't help but look at her. Her smile, though sincere, seemed to give him a sense of comfort amongst the confusion and confrontation happening around him. She took a good look as well, just as they both realized and broke eye contact.
"Uh, no problem…I'm Ragatha, by the way" she held out her hand to shake, with him doing the same.
"Nice to meet you, I…I…Iiii…" He froze, his expression leaning into panic as the words escaped him.
"Oh no…" Pomni muttered below her breath, recognizing the look. Suddenly he couldn't remember his name or any name he's ever known to be called by. Caine's attention turned back to him.
"My apologies, dear friend! You see, a slight side effect of joining our merry little circus is being unable to remember your name…so let's get you one!" As Caine brought out the name generator, Ragatha looked on. The same cycle that'd happened multiple times before she was witnessing again- Another human forced to join this digital prison without even a name. It crossed her mind that it was the first time she'd seen another avatar so similar to an existing one, with the only other one she could think of was Kinger's wife, though that was before she'd come here herself. This new face piqued her curiosity to say the least.
Several tries later, the name generator finally put out something legible- "Fikzy…how about that?." Caine asked, not leaving much time to debate. "Now, Fikzy…do you crave adventure? Excitement? Peril?! Adrenaline!? Sweet treats?" He said as he pulled out a cupcake, quickly taken by Bubble. "Mine!" Caine sighed as the pastry was devoured. "Alright, for Fikzy's initiation-al adventure, I've cooked up quite the tale-"
Fikzy felt his heart trying to jump out of his cloth-en chest as he struggled to breath. He had no idea whose room this was…he just needed to be alone to process what had happened. Nothing he remembered being told before putting on the headset made sense anymore. He'd been stitched back together at the end of the adventure…but the pain he felt was real. The raptors had targeted him specifically for some reason. What he thought was gonna be a fun dino-island adventure took several unexpected turns, from Pomni walking into a T-Rex nest to bumping into the mom and Kinger riding a pterodactyl for some reason. He drew the raptors off from Gangle and Ragatha while Zooble tried to fix the jeep and ended up sacrificing himself.
The adventure ended. They escaped the island on a speedboat, though he was brought back in pieces. The minute Caine fixed him he took off from the group, trying again to take off the headset to no avail. So he sat there, on his knees hyperventilating. He didn't know whose room this was, yet.
"Where did he go? Fikzy!" Pomni shouted, looking around the furniture and objects lining the hall. She saw the look in his eyes when they got back. She had the same look when she got to meet Kaufmo. Jax went on to his room. Mostly unbothered.
"Nice going Caine, you just set a new record of speed abstracting." He scoffed as he closed the door. Ragatha meanwhile checked the vacant rooms.
"Hello? New stuf- uh…Fikzy? You around?" She was about to give up and go into her room, when she almost stepped on it. It was his googly-eye, right in front of her door. She walked in and found him slumped over in his panic attack.
"Oh….uhm…there you are…you dropped this…" She paused, quietly walking closer without closing the door. She saw the way he was holding himself…it reminded her of a memory from a time long passed when she was scared. She knelt down towards him and put her hand on his shoulder, and spoke calmly. "You're not alone here…we've been through this too." He paused, and spoke slowly.
"Do you feel it too, when something happens to you in these adventures?"
"I've honestly gotten used to it." She sighed.
"I thought I was dying in there…bleeding out…" His voice was shaky.
"We…can't." Ragatha said. He was perplexed. "Can't….?"
"No one really…dies..here." He sat up and looked at her. She handed him back his eye.
"No dying…no game over screen…anything else I need to know?" He asked as he put it back on, sideways the first time before correcting it.
"Well…if you think of something, you can always ask me…uh, or one of the others…heh."
He nodded. "Thank you. Is it…okay for me to hug you?"
"Uh, sure!" She answered with a tone of surprise. He gave a sudden, tight hug. She blushed, unsure what to do with her hands. She lightly laid them on his shoulders. She felt bad about not telling him about abstraction…but he didn't need to know that yet, she thought. His first day was rough enough. Pomni stood just outside the doorway, Kinger bumping into her as they both watched the two rag dolls come out of the hug.
"Well now, that reminds me of…" Kinger trailed off. It was just loud enough for Pomni to make out. She looked over at Kinger, then back at the rag dolls before going to her room.