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Before he could move out of the way, the wall behind him exploded into fragments from the force of something massive colliding with it. There Mickey was, buried under rubble as the Kool-aid man stood proudly in the gaping hole in the wall.
Mickey got up and barely managed a squeak, "I've become a mouse- how dare you!". The Kool-aid man squirted the last remaining Jolly Ranchers at Mickey and left, doing a pathetic attempt at a moonwalk, failing in the process.
Mickey decided to pick a treat from the corner shop, after all, he did deserve it. He browsed the aisles as the cashier, Mr Tumble, watched him suspiciously. Then he saw it! His eyes watered at the beautiful sight — Camel Balls! Delicious. Mickey took a great big crunch. But all of a sudden, Minnie walked in flabbergasted.
"You cheater!"
But that wasn't the worst of it. Mr Tumble has secretly swapped the Camel Balls with... his own.
"What?! M-Minnie, you know I would never cheat on you-" he stammered, trying to save both himself and his relationship, but was interrupted by the jingle of the store's bell announcing a new customer. If he had any chance of getting back with Minnie before, it was almost certainly gone now.
"Mickey!" Mr Meanour exclaimed, throwing his arms wide at the sight of his lover. Kool-aid man swings open the door and whips his pathetically small water gun out, pointing it at Mr Tumble. He starts to put the 'sweets' behind his back.
Mickey let out a gasp of disbelief. No! He had finally found the one. His perfect partner. This couldn't be how things ended. As quick as a flash, he leapt in front of Mr Tumble, shielding his red nose from the stream of water spraying out of the gun.
Meanwhile, Mr Meanour carefully hid behind a shelf fully stacked with peanuts. There he found Minnie. There, Minnie was crushing peanuts into powder, which she lined up on a table. Just before she was about to take a big ol' whiff, Mr Meanour roared in fury at the sight of his beloved peanuts getting snorted.
"WHAT IS MEANOUR RULE NUMBER THREE?!?" Minnie yelped, startled by his booming voice. But the large man continued with his bellows before she could get a word in. "IF IT DOESN'T CONCERN YOU," he pulled out a belt, its loud crack ripping through the air, "DON'T GET INVOLVED!!!" And so, he charged full speed at the poor mouse, belt in hand. He charged at Minnie, screaming with all his might and whipped Mickey so much that the swishes caused an enormous hurricane that Mr Tumble came tumbling into Mr Meanour causing him to vomit tiramisu onto Minnie, causing her ear wax to come flowing out onto Mickey.
The whole kerfuffle lasted around 5 seconds yet, for Minnie, it felt like years. The shop was a wreck. The air smelt of rotting earwax, entire shelves had flipped over, Mr Tumble had left a massive turd on the floor and Mr Meanour was RAGING in the corner. "WHEN WE TALK WE DO NOT WRITR AND WHEN WE WRITE WE DO NOT TALK!!" he repeated over and over again.
"What is that sweet smell?" Mickey asked as the fumes of Mr Tumble's turd filled his nostrils.
"Temperature up, resistance down," yelled Mr Tunble from behind a freezer full of ready to eat masala toes. This was all too much. How had life gotten to this? Devastated, Mickey fled the scene leaving behind all of his mistresses.
And so Mickey fled. He ran as fast as his stubby legs could take him, sprinting between shelves until he reached the front of the building. He flung the door open, nearly ripping the thing off of its hinges. Without slowing down, he continued to run, the shouts of Mr Tumble growing distant to his mouse ears. He was out of the building now, but didn't stop until a good ten or so minutes later, panting heavily to catch his breath.
"Mickey...!"
He looked up. It was Mr Tumble, looking awfully distraught. The man's lips were moving, but all the mouse could hear was a series of muffled yells. He really needed to clear his ears out. Exasperated and panic driving high, Mr Tumble pointed frantically to the left, and the mouse's gaze followed. Only then did he realise two things. Ont thing was that he was on a road. A very wide road at that. The second thing was that there was a pair of headlights rapidly approaching him.
Oh dear.
Caught in such a moment, he was unable to react in time. He closed his eyes in desperation, while clutching his fists.
"Mickey! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" Mr Tumble shrieked.
There was a loud SCREECH! And then a bang. Mr Tumble's eyes were shut tight as the others ran out of the shop to see the disaster that had happened. But... there was no car wreck in sight! In fact, the car was now about half a mile down the road, speeding away, its little headlights fading in the distance.
"Oh Mickey!" exclaimed Minnie, tunning out of the shop. The group shoved each other as they all passionately rushed forward to examine Mickey's state. Mr Meanour, however, was still in the shop, shoving peanuts up the sockets of his eyes. He silently judged the group as he glared at them through the shattered, glass windows.
Outside, about 1500 feet below sea level, Mickey stood in an ENORMOUS crater.
"Oh my!" gasped Minnie. Mr Tumble could have sworn he heard a dinosaur roar or a heavy footstep, or a pterodactyl shriek from below. Was he dreaming? Or had a meteor just come and reversed the evolution??
"NATURAL SELECTION IS BACK IN BUSINESS!" yelled Mickey from below. Mr Tumble ran as fast as he could to help Mickey up, just as the mysterious figure from the car stepped out — a towering and intimidating creature who had a dectuple chin and ears so large you could chop zucchini on it — the great Shrek. It stepped out of the car and the donkey came out with a belly flop. "So, you dare cheat on me! I am loving to the love of my life."
He took a step towards Mickey, the ground trembling as he did so. Then another step. Another shake. And as he reached the small mouse, he dropped to one knee, pulling out a small box. Mickey could not believe this was happening. He has always expected Minnie to propose first. But here he was, being proposed to by his largest mistress. Shrek slowly opened the box. So slowly, in fact, that despite her constipation, Minnie had done 5 plops of turd- without laxatives!
Mickey began to get emotional. But through his tears he could not see a gold ring, or a silver, or even a diamond. In fact, there was no ring at all! There in the box, lay Big Bad Barry. The enormous fish flopped out onto Mickey's face, the fish's teeth piercing his skin. Unfortunately, Mickey's attempt at removing the fish was futile, and his shrill screams of agony eventually came to a stop.
THUD!
The mouse collapsed to the ground, unmoving. An assassination! Shrek fled the scene.
Upon hearing Mickey's agonising screams, Mr Meanour picked up his belt, ready to whip Mickey upon catching him in the act. In a rage, he marched out towards the crater, peanuts occasionally falling out of his ears. But, in his psychotic rage, he didn't notice the approximately 15m by 15m hole in the floor. Watching from the toilet window, Minnie thought she was dreaming. Maybe she was schizophrenic? But she could've sworn she saw Mr Meanour fall about 50 feet. Was this his end? No! A nanosecond later, he came bouncing into the sky, as if he had fallen onto a massive trampoline.
"WHERE'S THAT FOOL MICKEY! I've been waiting for so long- I've even had grandchildren! But now I hear I'm one of many mistresses!" Mr Meanour came down to Earth with a thud. And that's when he saw Mickey on the floor. Dead as a doornail. He wailed like a Banshee. Mr Tumble caught up with him and witnessed the horror of Mickey's demise. Mr Tumble was going to offer his condolences to the round man, but that was when Mr Tumble's spotty bag flew from his side and to the mourning man.
[WIP]