Work Text:
Mother’s Day. The day that Jungkook always dreaded. Ever since Sunhee’s mom abandoned them both a couple years ago, this day was in the back of his mind. He really wished he could keep this holiday hidden for longer, but now that his daughter’s in kindergarten it’s unavoidable.
It was the Friday before Mother’s Day meaning all the kids made Mother’s Day crafts to give to their moms on the weekend.
In the midst of this meltdown Jungkook realized he should’ve talked to Sunhee about this before she was exposed to it all at school.
“It’s not fair daddy!” She stomped her feet as tears ran down her cheeks. “Why does Mother’s Day happen when I have no mom!”
Jungkook looked at Sunhee’s teary eyes, opting to sit down on the floor to get to her level.
“All I just have is this stupid paper!” She threw the empty and crumpled worksheet on the ground. He glanced at it and it was something to fill out regarding fun information about their moms.
Usually kids have no idea what the actual answers are because they’re little kids, that’s what makes it cute, but Sunhee didn’t know the answers because she didn’t even know her mom.
As this goes on the worse Jungkook feels for putting his daughter in this situation. “I’m sorry Sunny.” The only thing he could do was apologize. As much as he’d like to solve all the problems in the world for her, it wasn’t possible. Giving Sunhee her mom back wasn’t possible.
At another onslaught of tears, Jungkook’s hands rubbed up against Sunhee’s arms in an effort to calm her down. “Breathe, baby.” It clearly did not work as she shrugged his hand off completely, letting out another sob. “No! It’s not fair!”
He gently grabbed her flailing arms, pulling her on to his lap. The last thing he wanted was for her to hurt herself from this (understandable) outburst.
She didn’t resist it, curling right into Jungkook. Her small hands grasped the front of his shirt while she buried her head in his neck. “People said that their moms love them. Why doesn't mommy love me?” Her voice was quiet, low and vulnerable in a way he’d never heard before. His heart absolutely broke. “Is it because of me? Can I fix me to make her love me?”
He was so glad that her head was nestled in his shoulder otherwise she would’ve seen him desperately trying to stop tears from falling.
By the grace of god he kept himself together as he knew he had to stay strong right now. He gently rubbed her back in an effort to keep her tears at bay. “You do not need to fix yourself Sunhee.”
“Are you sure? Cause I don’t want you to leave like mommy did.” Jungkook's heart fell to his feet at the question. Under no circumstances should Sunhee ever have to question his love for her. He'll shout it from the rooftops if he has too. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life Sunhee. I promise.” He does not think he could ever say a more true statement. It’s still insane how someone so small can hold such a big place in his heart.
He backed up a little to be face to face with her again, holding up his pinky. She sniffled and gave him her pinky so they could lock the promise.
They stayed like that for a moment before Jungkook went into action. She had stopped crying and he’d like to keep it that way. He needed to get her busy. “Do you want pizza?”
She sniffled, giving him a small nod. “Cheese?”
“Yes of course.”
She blinked for a couple more seconds and Jungkook waited patiently, knowing she had something else she wanted to say. “Rapunzle?” This had nothing to do with pizza but Jungkook understood exactly what she meant. “Yes we can watch Rapunzle.”
There Jungkook got her first smile of the night, albeit it was a very small one, but one nonetheless. “Okay! Go get your Rapunzle dress and my glitter crown and go sit, the pizza will come soon.” She scampered off to her room to get the stuff and Jungkook turned around to take a much needed deep breath.
Seeing her cry that earnestly was something he hadn’t been prepared for. He never knew that seeing someone you love crying could make you physically hurt. But Jungkook had quickly learned that parenthood comes with surprises, this one being a terrible one.
Once he got it together, he proceeded to call the pizza place. He could dwell over this once Sunhee went to sleep. Not now. Never in front of Sunhee. ————— With Sunhee finally asleep, Jungkook could finally relax, well, relax might not be the best way to describe it. It’s more like sit down on the couch and stare into space, but in technical terms he is relaxing…kinda.
He sunk into the couch, the sole light coming from the tv in front of him even though he wasn’t paying any attention to it.
Right now the only thing he was thinking about was Sunhee.
How she broke down at the thought of being unloved. How even he couldn’t do anything to stop the sobbing that she was letting out. How her own mother made her question her self worth at 5! He didn’t even know young children were able to feel that way.
As he started to feel tears prick at his eyes, there was a knock at the door.
He glanced at the door for a second, quickly realizing who it was. It was Namjoon.
His boyfriend always came over on Fridays after work as his Friday shifts ended at 8:30, meaning he was at Jungkook house by 9. They usually met up, Namjoon obviously sleeping over, then the 3 spent the weekend together. It was a perfect arrangement that had been going on for months.
And even knowing that a pit formed in his stomach. As much as he loved Namjoon, Jungkook didn’t want him to see him like this.
There was another insistent knock on the door and Jungkook knew he couldn’t ignore it.
He huffed as he stood up, blinking the emotions away, hopefully filing them away for the next time he was alone. He could put on a smile for anyone, he just hoped Namjoon couldn’t see right through him.
Jungkook opened the door and Namjoon came in, already happily greeting his boyfriend.
Namjoon threw his arms around Jungkook in a comforting hug “Hey, Kook.” Namjoon’s warm embrace did ease the negative emotions in Jungkook's heart and he selfishly held on a little tighter. “Hi, hyung.”
Then he felt Namjoon slightly freeze. The black haired man pulled his head back to look directly in Jungkook’s eyes. “Something’s wrong, are you okay?”
He inwardly cursed, why does Namjoon have to be so emotionally perceptive? Still he deflected, or at least tried to. “I’m okay, nothing happened today.”
Namjoon looked the opposite of convinced. “No, something’s wrong. You know you can tell me anything?”
Yes of course Jungkook knew that. If there was one person he’d bare his mind and soul to it would be Namjoon.
“Yes, hyung, but I have nothing to tell you, I swear.” He knew this was unhealthy and Namjoon was absolutely not buying his shit, but he silently hoped that the man would gather that Jungkook didn’t want to talk about it and drop it.
“Jungkook…” Jungkook rarely ever gets frustrated because of Namjoon, but sometimes he pushes when Jungkook really just needs to think and not talk. It’s not Namjoon's fault, in fact he’s been working on it, it’s just sometimes his brain goes into overprotective mode whenever Jungkook’s upset.
Knowing that his boyfriend is just worried and not intentionally trying to push his buttons, he takes a deep breath. “I swear, hyung. I’m fine”
And once again, Namjoon is not convinced. Jungkook can tell just by the look in his boyfriend's eyes that he’s not going to give up. “Jungkook, why aren’t you—”
Jungkook didn’t mean to interrupt, he really didn’t, it’s just that everything was already going wrong today and Namjoon unknowingly trying to interrogate him was not making the day any better.
“I’m okay! Why aren’t you getting that!” Namjoon stepped back at Jungkook’s small outburst. “Why—why don’t you believe me!”
Great. He’s practically throwing a tantrum like a toddler. Now he’s just embarrassed. “It’s—it’s, I’m just…”
Namjoon snaps out of the confused daze, grabbing Jungkook's arms to lead them both to the couch. “Okay, let’s take a breath.”
Jungkook did do that, their clasped hands grounding him. Namjoon just sat there, waiting for Jungkook to figure out what to say. He realized that on a normal day Jungkook’s thoughts were all over the place, so he could only imagine how crazy his mind was because of whatever troubles he’s been having.
Eventually, Jungkook let out a huff, sitting up a little straighter. “Sunhee had a breakdown because of Mother’s Day. She was sad that she doesn’t have a mom.”
And Jungkook saw Namjoon’s face fall. His face immediately scrunched, rubbing Jungkook’s knuckles. “Is she okay?”
Jungkook simply shrugged. “For now, yeah.” She probably wouldn’t be for the next couple days. Jungkook is already planning on keeping her inside and away from any and all Mother’s Day activities. Could this approach be slightly unhealthy? Yes, potentially, but Jungkook really does not know how else to deal with this in such a short time span. It’s the best he can do to keep Sunhee happy.
“Well I’m glad you got her to calm down, but… are you okay?” That was an irrelevant question that Jungkook deemed unimportant right now, (his boyfriend would extremely disagree with him, but that didn’t matter.) Almost as if Namjoon was listening to his inner monologue, he continued, “Jungkook, you know it’s okay to—”
As soon as he started talking Jungkook knew he had to put a stop to it. Jungkook feels bad interrupting him but he needs to deflect the impending emotional interrogation he was about to be subjected too.
“Sunhee’s mom,” Namjoon’s face scrunched, a little confused as to why he was cut off. That gave Jungkook time to continue. “You don’t know why Sunhee’s mom never sees her.” Sure Namjoon was curious, but it wasn’t just something to ask haphazardly, especially if Jungkook hadn’t brought it up yet even though they’d been together for a while. “I’ll tell you, it’ll give you more context.”
Even though this thought was initially a deflection, he has been wanting to tell Namjoon about this story.
However, the other man gently shook his head, wrongly connecting Jungkook’s unease to the action of telling him about his past. “I don’t need context Jungkook, you don't need to justify telling me if you’re not comfortable sharing.”
He gave a stern shake of his head, staring directly at Namjoon, hoping the conviction would show. “No. I want you to know.”
Namjoon paused for a second, staring into Jungkook’s eyes for even a sliver of discomfort. Once he deemed that Jungkook was being truthful, he tucked a strand of loose hair behind Jungkook’s ear. “Okay, then I’m listening.”
With one of Namjoon’s hands grasping his and another playing with the hair at his nape, he felt comfortable enough to practically bare half his life story. “So her mom, Eunji…” And then he told Namjoon the whole story of how he became a single dad.
Quite frankly, it was all going well at the start, (I mean, as well as it could be going for accidental teen parents). They had their parents support and they were just finishing highschool, ready to go to college, both having vague plans about what they wanted to do even though they had a newborn.
Don’t get it wrong though, it was hard. Even with all the love and support they had from others and between him and Eunji, it was still so insanely difficult. But by them being hardworking and determined, his love for Sunhee and Eunji carried him through all the hardship having a kid brought.
But slowly, around their first year of university, when Sunhee was around two, Jungkook started to feel Eunji pull away, starting to be rude and never around. He did what he could. He tried every compromise, conversation and solution to try and save the relationship but it eventually broke after Jungkook found out he had been cheated on. Multiple times. He was absolutely devastated but he got through it.
After their breakup, the main thing he didn’t like was leaving Eunji alone with Sunhee for days on end as they agreed to alternate weeks of having Sunhee.
Jungkook was always hesitant about how Eunji took care of their child, even when they were together. He didn’t question it then, but after they broke up the worry was a constant forefront in his mind.
Although he kept it to himself, Sunhee was Eunji's daughter as much as she was his. Sunhee deserved a relationship with her and he was not going to interfere with what he thought was just simple paranoia as Eunji was an okay mom. When Sunhee was over at her apartment she kept her fed, warm, and safe. She wasn’t nurturing or extremely kind, but she took care of the child. That’s all Jungkook could ask her (more or less force her) to do.
But the bare minimum that she did do changed when she got a boyfriend. Firstly, Eunji wanted to see Sunhee less and less. The week she usually had her turned into just weekends, sometimes even only a day. This pissed Jungkook off and he tried to bring it up with Eunji but was only met with hostility so he dropped it.
Then Sunhee, she was nearing four by this point, came home and said that mommy had a new boyfriend, Jungkook didn’t think anything of it. Only coming to the conclusion that this apparent boyfriend was what was occupying Eunji's time, instead of her daughter.
But he didn’t have the energy to fight it. He only talked to the woman because of Sunhee, if it were up to him he would’ve told her off and never spoken to her again, but once again he cared about his daughter, so he didn’t.
Regardless, Jungkook didn’t think much of it. The woman was allowed to do whatever she wanted. And in turn he got to see Sunhee more so he couldn’t complain too much. However, his daughter started to come home with some…concerning events about what was now happening at her mom’s house.
“Mommy didn’t talk to me today.”
“Daddy I’m hungry! Mommy only gave me one apple today.”
“Mommy’s boyfriend made me play in my room by myself. I wasn’t allowed to come out unless he said so.”
“I’m not allowed to sit beside mommy anymore. Her boyfriend said I’m always in the way.”
“I tried to hug mommy but the boy pushed me away!”
His civil resolve broke when his daughter told him she was locked in a room the whole day because she asked her mom for water, accidentally interrupting her and the boyfriends conversation. Sunhee said she was yelled at and locked away in the bathroom.
Jungkook had never wanted to kill someone more. Chivalry be damned that woman deserved to get slapped.
That day he rushed over to her apartment and absolutely chewed her out. They yelled and screamed and it eventually ended in her mom saying she didn’t want to see her daughter anymore. His heart broke but there was nothing he could do about it.
And that’s how Sunhee ended up living with him full time.
And he’s not gonna lie. It was hard. Juggling school and his dance teaching job was hard to navigate while properly taking care of a child. Thankfully his work is understanding of his situation, subtly giving him priority to choose when he works, and he tries to have mostly early morning or day classes, those being times where Sunhee is either at school, or times where he can drop her off early at his parents house for them to drive her to school.
His friends also watched her whenever they could. Jungkook was really lucky to be surrounded by fantastic people.
And relating to Sunhee, she was actually not to angry at not seeing her mother. There were occasional meltdowns and bursts of anger but she seemed happier being away from her.
Jungkook didn’t exactly say why she was only staying with him permanently now. He gave her a simplified child version of it because while she doesn’t need to know all the details at her young age, he also doesn’t think it’s good to keep her in the dark.
And sure, his kid was 5, but she wasn’t stupid. Many underestimate what kids understand.
Regardless, Jungkook told his story as best as he could, hoping it made sense. He hadn’t told anyone the full story before so he didn’t know how much effort it would be to just bring all this shit up again.
Namjoon was silent for a second before uttering the only thing he could think of. “What the fuck.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The fact that Namjoon, the man always so great with words, was stunned said a lot. “She’s an—excuse my language—an asshole.”
Jungkook let out a watery laugh, really the only way he could react to that. But now that he, for lack of a better word, spilled all his business to Namjoon, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say.
He originally started yapping to distract the other from asking if he was okay, but he was slowly realizing that telling his history with Eunji probably made Namjoon even more worried.
That thought was confirmed when he looked at his boyfriend’s eyes. They were filled with so much hurt and sadness and Jungkook didn’t know what to do with that. “Hyung, why do you look so sad?”
“I just can’t belive you’ve been—” Namjoon suddenly stopped and took a deep breath, he had to get it together. This was not about him. Sure hearing Jungkook talk about everything he and Sunhee went through hurt, but it absolutely must’ve hurt more actually going through it. He knew Jungkook wanted support, not even the slightest form of pity.
He grabbed Jungkook’s hand once again, giving it a small squeeze. “Do you need anything from me?” It was very random and Jungkook didn’t know what he even meant, hell Namjoon didn’t even know what he meant. “I’m not sure exactly what, but if you think of anything I’ll do it. Advice, more reassurance, support, anything.”
As soon as that came out of Namjoon’s mouth Jungkook started shaking his head. He was being the best boyfriend ever and he couldn’t have asked for a better support system.
Namjoon however, just ignored the shaking of Jungkook’s head, continuing with his rambling. “Maybe even less contact or hanging out because you’re busy with—”
“No! I don’t want less contact, I want you here. All the time.” The soft smile Jungkook got made him lean in slightly, leaving a gentle kiss on Namjoon’s lips.
Namjoon was now looking at him so earnestly and he couldn’t help but start talking again. Something about his presence just made Jungkook’s brain melt. “It’s just—I don’t know what to do.” He started to feel the heated emotions from before rise up in his chest. “I’m a 22-year-old guy raising a little girl. What if I screw this up? What if I screw her up?”
“She loves you Jungkook. She looks up to you.”
“I know and that is what makes this worse!” He huffed in slight desperation, Namjoon wasn’t understanding what he meant. “What happens when she--she needs a mom.” In all those stupid child books Jungkook read, it was emphasized how important it is for young girls to have a woman role model in their life. The classic stuff like first heartbreaks, periods, puberty, even the immense amount of emotions young girls feel, it was said that it's so crucial to have a mom there to help.
“I am her dad, not her mom. I don't know how to fill that void.” As much as Jungkook tries, that'll never happen. He thought he’d come to terms with it but the incident today brought up old wounds. “I’ll never be the mom that she needs and that scares me.”
He wants the best for Sunhee. He’d give her the world and more if he could. Even thinking about not being enough for her crushes his heart. Some may call him dramatic, but it’s true.
Namjoon let out a small sigh. “Jungkook.” Jungkook sniffled a little, starting to play with Namjoon’s fingers. He knew looking up at his boyfriend will just make him want to cry. Namjoon didn't give up though. “Please, Kook, look at me.”
He raised the pros and cons in his head. If he stayed looking down, they’d both be waiting here for a while, Jungkook in his feelings and Namjoon being ever so patient. Jungkook wanted to stay looking down. He wanted to stay guarded. But deep down he reluctantly knew that looking up and listening to what Namjoon had to say would help him. So he did and the proud smile Namjoon gave him was worth it.
“Yes, you are not her mom, but you are a parent. A parent that stayed. I think you underestimate how important that in itself is.”
So many people would’ve left immediately, leaving their child to the other parent, (like Sunhee’s mother did), or give the child away to ignore forever. But Jungkook stayed. Not because he needed too, but because he wanted too.
“All those stupid books are already assuming that a kid has both parents—actually they’re assuming that parents are automatically man and woman, which dare I say is kind of fucked, regardless,” Jungkook chuckled a little, wiping a tear from his eye, “Those books have nothing on you Jungkook.”
Life is different for everyone. Everyone has different experiences, thoughts, emotions, and situations so getting all the info you know from a small book doesn’t give you everything you need to succeed.
“Love and care can get you so far with a child and you love and care for Sunhee more than you do for anyone else.” Namjoon finished and Jungkook just stared at him, eyes wavering.
Maybe this was the day he finally let himself go. He did cry when Eunji left, a lot to be honest, but today was different. It felt different.
He never just let himself properly cry.
Cry about his girlfriend leaving him.
Cry about having to put his dreams on hold.
Cry about having a fucking child to take care of at 18 years old.
And of course, Namjoon had to say something that set all his emotions off.
“This isn’t your fault.”
And holy shit did the dam break. Jungkook’s hands fell out of Namjoon’s as he leaned forward, his own hands on his knees the only thing stopping him from falling all the way down. His shoulders shook as tears streaked down his face and sobs racked through his body.
Quite frankly he had no idea what was happening, but he didn’t like it.
His hands were shaking as his breathing became choppy. His heart felt like it was skipping every other beat while simultaneously trying to jump out of his chest. All he could do was grasp his pants and huff in short static breaths in an effort not to pass out.
Namjoon must’ve known what was happening as he felt hands on his shoulders, bringing him back up to a sitting position. “It’s easier to breathe like this.” Jungkook could hear the other man but it sounded muffled, like someone shouting from the surface while he was underwater.
“Jungkook, breathe.” He couldn’t. He tried so hard but it felt like his airways were collapsing on themselves. “I can’t.” The tears running down his cheeks and the sniffling nose was also not helping with this breathing thing.
“Yes you can, Kook.” Jungkook felt a grounding hand on his knee and another rubbing his back, but it didn’t feel…right. He almost felt removed from his body and mind. “Why—why am I—”
Not wanting Jungkook to waste his breath, Namjoon interrupted him. The voice was calm, quiet, unjudmental. “You’re having a panic attack.” Huh?! Him? What the hell was he panicking about? This is stupid. This is so stupid. And damn those stupid thoughts made his head start spinning again.
Namjoon noticed the fast pick up in breaths again so he took Jungkook’s hand and gently placed it on his chest. “I need you to close your eyes, feel my chest move and you try to breathe with me, okay?” Jungkook gave a jerky nod, one hand on Namjoon’s chest and the other curled up in such a tight fist that his nails were digging into his skin.
He took deep breaths with Namjoon, it was hard at the start and his breath was shaky, but he got the hang of it. His chest untightened and he felt his body barely shaking.
He eventually took his hand off Namjoon’s chest just to fully fall on top of his boyfriend. The taller man dint even bat an eye at the action, leaning against the side of the couch so they could both lie down together.
Jungkook soon felt a hand combing through his hair in a way Namjoon knew relaxed him. And the action usually lulled him to sleep, but it didn’t do too much today. All he could think about was what just happened.
Then the taller man spoke softly, not wanting to break the safe and calm atmosphere they created. “I don’t know what’s going on in that little head of yours, but whatever it is it’s wrong.”
Yeah, Namjoon is saying that but he doesn’t really know what’s going on in Jungkook’s brain. As much as he likes to play sweet and emotionally unbothered, this is not one of those times. He feels so vulnerable and powerless. He can’t help but think less of himself for reacting in such a grand way to what he thought was a small problem.
If this happened to anyone else he’d feel for them. He’d think no less of them in the slightest, but for some reason this happening to him was different. He blew his whole stupid situation into something huge. It’s ridiculous. He’s ridiculous. This problem was originally about Sunhee. Why couldn’t it have stayed like that?
Namjoon’s low voice snapped him out of whatever spiral he was pulling himself into. “You’re not weak for having a panic attack, this isn’t stupid. You’re not overacting.” Now how the fuck did Namjoon know what he was thinking about. “You went through a major life change at a young age and didn’t have time to process all the negative emotions that came with it.”
That’s…yeah that’s true. He didn’t really have time to dwell on anything that was happening because of his responsibilities as a dad and outside of being a dad. The more a Jungkook thinks about it the crazier he feels, how the hell did he go this long without noticing any of this?
“Whatever you need I’m here and I’ll be here as long as you want me to be.” Namjoon was never great at lying, he had so many tells that Jungkook could detect immediately, so he knew his boyfriend wasn’t lying right now. He knew Namjoon was being completely earnest with his words and somehow that made it even worse.
But he pushed past the pulling feeling in his stomach and looked up at his boyfriend. “I love you.”
Namjoon smiled back at him, “I love you too.”
Some people would’ve asked for more. Namjoon could’ve asked for a sign of understanding from Jungkook or and acknowledgment that he was understood, but it wasn’t needed. Namjoon felt Jungkook calm down and quite frankly that was the only goal right now.
And all at once Jungkook finally started to feel the aftereffects of what just happened. He felt exhausted mentally and physically. He was going to fall asleep right here if they didn’t get up. And as much as laying in Namjoon was comfortable, it would be even more comfortable to lay on him in bed. “…can we go to bed please?”
The older man thought for a second before responding in that calm, quiet voice. “No. Not until I know you’re okay.” It may seem unnecessary but Namjoon was just covering his bases. He knew that Jungkook would knock out as soon as he hit the pillow so he needed to know that he was okay, at least for now. “I’m not going to ask you to talk about how you’re feeling or talk out what just happened. I just need confirmation that you’re okay.” At that Jungkook realized his hands were still shaking. He took a glance and then and took a couple deep breaths, trying to calm his body down.
After how ever long it was, he really didn’t know if it was long or short as Namjoon didn’t show any signs of discomfort or boredom, he looked at his boyfriend. “I’m okay. I feel better.”
That wasn’t necessarily a lie. Sure he definitely had some lingering thoughts and emotions he’ll definitely have to explore, but he somehow feels lighter.
Jungkook must’ve looked truthful enough as Namjoon gave him a kiss on the crown of his head. “Okay, let’s go to sleep.”
—————
Jungkook quickly got taken out of his sleep when he felt a large weight dive right on top of him, a voice talking excitedly. Waking up like this would be alarming to some, but getting woken up with a knee to the stomach was something he had long gotten used to.
“Daddy! Wake up!” He barely opened his eyes, trying to pull Sunhee off of him, urging her to lay down beside him. “Mhm, let’s sleep some more Sunhee. Lie down.”
This usually did work. Sunhee would agree and they’d snuggle under the covers for a little bit. It was great as Jungkook got more sleep while also being with his favourite person, but today that unfortunately did not happen. “No! Me and Joonie made something special for you.”
That did get his attention. They did something special? Today wasn't a particularly special day, it was just a simple Saturday. Wait…was it a special day? Did he forget about something? Damn Jungkook was too tired to properly think right now.
He was apparently taking too long as small hands started to pat against his chest. “Get up!”
“Okay, okay, I’m getting up.” Sometimes he’s thankful that he has a built-in alarm clock that doesn’t quit. He can snooze his phone but definitely not his daughter.
He got pulled by the arm, out of his room, right into the kitchen. He was about to tell Sunhee to relax for a second until he saw what was laid out on their table.
“Wow, you guys did all this?” Both of them nodded as he just stared. On the table was a stack of waffles, whipped cream, many different berries, and oddly enough, sprinkles. Jungkook liked to pretend they were just for Sunhee but he always ate some too.
As Sunhee went to stand beside Namjoon while Jungkook uttered the only words coming to his mind. “But…why?” He looked between the two of them, absolutely baffled. Namjoon just smiled, “We wanted to do this for you, right Sunhee?” She locked eyes excitedly with Namjoon as she bounced around. “Yup!”
Jungkook still didn’t understand. “But this must’ve been so much work.” Making food from scratch while also cutting up all the fruit must’ve taken forever, especially with a 5 year old you have to supervise with knives and around the stove. His boyfriend also wasn’t the best of chefs. He wouldn’t be surprised if he found a couple burnt waffles in the trash. “When did you guys even wake up?”
Apparently Sunhee had just the right answer. “I woke up this morning and then saw that Joonie was already awake and watching a show so I went to say hello. And then I said I was hungry. And then he said we should make breakfast for us and you daddy!”
His boyfriend nodded in agreement at the long string of words Sunhee let out. Namjoon was awake fairly early, opting to go watch some tv instead of accidentally waking up Jungkook. The man needed his sleep after what happened yesterday.
He patted her hair, urging her to speak more. He knew what she was going to say would make Jungkook so happy. “Tell your dad why you’re so excited to make breakfast for him.”
Her eyes lit up as she ran back to her dad. “You always make me food and it’s really good so I wanted to make you food!” She was just like her father. She loved good food. Jungkook will be forever grateful that she’s not a picky eater. “And also because you’re my favourite person ever and I love you. I don’t want a mom anymore. I have you.”
Her eyes sparkled up at her Jungkook. She was looking at him like he hung all the stars in the sky. The emotions he felt were so overwhelming, he’ll never get used to that look.
Jungkook slowly looked up to Namjoon, already feeling tears prick at his eyes. “Did you tell her to say all that?” Sure his daughter was abnormally well spoken for her age, but this was crazy.
“Nope. She told me all of this when we were cooking. She was talking about you a lot this morning, it was really sweet.”
He slowly nodded, taking a deep breath to try to control all the emotions in his stomach. He slowly bent down, opening his arms towards his daughter. “Come here baby.”
Her smile widened even more as she crashed into Jungkook, she was also a hugger just like her dad. And quite frankly these hugs made Jungkook’s day. They always had and the always will. Feeling the love of someone you love so dearly is a feeling that could never be recreated.
As he hugged her tight he started thinking again. Maybe he will be okay. If Sunhee was able to say what she said at this age, she’d definitely be able to express it when she’s older. Maybe him being a single dad, (well not really a single dad, he had Namjoon who was definitely stepping up as another parental figure as they’d been together for just over a year), wouldn’t have the negative consequences like he thought it would.
He didn’t even realized he went silent until Sunhee back up from the hug. “Daddy, are you okay?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he realized the wetness in his eyes. He quickly wiped them, a kind smile on his face. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
He sniffled a little and it made Sunhee squint her eyes. “But I think you’re crying. Are you crying?” And dammit when someone asks if he’s crying it just makes him want to cry more. “No.” He’s definitely lying but he hopes Sunhee will buy it. He needs to keep this in. Once he thought he got his shit together he looked up at Sunhee and Namjoon and small tears started to fall again. “I—fuck.”
Sunhee let out a scandalized gasp and gently hit Jungkook, the man didn’t have it in him to reprimand her. “Hey! No bad words!”
Jungkook let out a water chuckle. “I’m sorry, I’m just really happy.” Like super happy. Insanely happy. Happy he had two amazing people by his side.
“But you’re crying, people don’t cry when they’re happy.” She has a point. Crying is usually depicted as a negative reaction to a negative situation, but that's obviously not always the case. “Sometimes they do. If someone has really big feelings, they come out in different ways. Crying is one of them.”
Sunhee looked away for a second, seemingly processing the new information. Once it clicked, she looked back at her dad. “Oh that’s silly…but I love you so it’s okay!” And then Namjoon saw Jungkook’s face wavier once again and he knew it was his time to step in. He knew Jungkook didn’t like to cry in front of Sunhee.
“Sunhee, how about you clean up some of your toys infront of the tv while me and your dad go brush our teeth.”
A pout graced Sunhee’s face, her arms crossed across her chest. “But I wanna eat now.” The whining didn’t work on him anymore, well most of the time it didn’t work, today was one of those days. He wasn’t gonna budge on this. “We have to go brush our teeth before we eat and uh…breakfast tastes better when the floor is clean.” That was such a bullshit exuse but it seemed to work as she went off to clean her toys.
Once she walked away Namjoon pulled a very confused Jungkook to the bathroom. He shut the door behind him and turns towards his boyfriend. All he did was open his arms and Jungkook fell right into him, tears already falling down his cheeks.
“I’ve got you, don’t worry.”
The tears weren’t crazy like yesterday, but they were still there. The overwhelming number of emotions were hitting him once again.
They were different this time. They were filled with what Jungkook could describe as happiness and relief. Sure all his worries weren’t squashed completely, that would take time, but the reassurance from his daughter meant so much to him. It was a bug step to him believing that this was something he could do.
And Namjoon helped him so much yesterday. He calmed him down in ways that no one else could have. But he unfortunately could only do so much, that’s why Namjoon urged Sunhee to share her feelings with her dad. He knew how much it would mean to Jungkook.
They were only in there for a couple minutes, but Jungkook was grateful for it. He got his emotions out, for now at least, so he’s able to enjoy his homemade breakfast with the most important people in his life.
Once Namjoon felt Jungkook’s arms slightly loosen, he leaned back a bit and wiped the remaining tears off his face. “You okay?”
The younger blinked a couple tears away, a grateful smile practically blinding Namjoon. “Yeah, thank you, hyung.” He placed a final gentle kiss on Namjoon’s lips, slowly backing away to open the door. They gave each other one last smile before Jungkook made his way out of the bathroom and into the living room, a wide smile on his face and a bounce in his step.
“Let’s have a competition! Whoever makes the best looking waffle tower gets to pick what we eat for dinner tonight.”
Sunhee gasped in excitement, running to the table. “Get ready to lose daddy!” She sat on her chair right beside her dad.
Jungkook sat down right beside her, looking at her mischievously. “Nuh uh, don’t think I’m gonna let you win because you’re my daughter.” Jungkook was gonna let her win, but he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. He’s gonna make his very well. He’s gotta teach Sunhee to try her hardest and fear her competitors.
“You better not! I’m going to win fair and square.”
Namjoon could only shake his head at the two. They were so unbelievably alike. He can only imagine how much of a handful Sunhee will be when she’s older.
“Joonie! Come join us!” He didn’t have to be told twice. He went and sat down across from his two favourite people. “Are you sure? If I join I’ll definitely win.” The two across from him both looked up from their waffles, with the exact same bored expression. “I love you hyung but that’s not happening.”
Sunhee nodded, “Yeah, we’re pro builders! We’ve done this before.”
“I help cook you breakfast and this is what I get?”
“You did burn a couple waffles.” Jungkook gave Namjoon a look of very slight disappointment for wasting food, but couldn’t stay mad for long. He did eventually get his shit together and breakfast turned out to be amazing.
Namjoon playfully scowled at the little girl. “I thought we agreed to keep that a secret!” She only giggled, obviously not sorry for ratting him out. “Oops!”
They continued to build and make an insane mess (that the two adults will later regret), they finished and voted and ate the rest of the breakfast that was prepared. They laughed and played and smiled and Jungkook couldn’t ask for a better morning, especially after the disastrous night he had yesterday.
And sure Jungkook’s definitely gonna have to get his shit sorted out. It’s going to be hard but he’s got Namjoon right beside him, supporting him and loving him in ways he would never ever take for granted.
He’s also got Sunhee who technically never directly supports him like Namjoon does, she helps in her own ways. Her presence in his life already betters his mental health.
Now looking back at what happened yesterday and the current view of his daughter and boyfriend happily laughing and playing with the leftover whipped cream, he came to a conclusion that was long overdue.
He was absolutely going to marry this man.