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The Klance Fanfic Survey Fics
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Published:
2016-10-05
Words:
2,608
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
155
Kudos:
509
Bookmarks:
67
Hits:
4,772

Seen: 5:29

Summary:

EDIT:: why r ppl still reading this and also thanks 4 ur tears

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)

Written in text format

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Lance sent an image

Lance: Bask in the beauty that is ME!

Keith: Suddenly I'm blind.

Lance: Totally my fault! I'm just so good looking, people go blind when they see me!

Keith: uh huh

Lance: It's the truth!

Keith: I believe you.

Lance: I think it's my smile. Makes the ladies go wild.

Lance: Local Teen Smiles And The World Loses Eyesight

Lance: Read all about it on page 9.

Keith: Not first page?

Lance: The first 8 pages are dedicated to me and how handsome I am.

Keith: 8 pages is overkill.

Lance: Aw, come on Keith. Don't say you wouldnt read all 8 pages, because I know you would.

Keith: I wasn't aware I had my eyesight back.

Lance: I'll grant you your eyes just to read this.

Keith: No thanks. I'd rather stay blind.

Lance: You're a regular heartbreaker, you know that?

Keith: Does that make you a masochist for dating me?

Lance: Wanna find out? ;)

               Seen 5:38pm

 

~*~*~

 

Keith: Did you get lost?

Lance: No.

Keith: So, where'd you go?

Lance: ...

Lance: Okay, so I'm a little lost. But honestly, why is there /three/ food courts in this place? Who needs this much food!?

Keith: The... shoppers?

Lance: Whatever! Which food court are you at?

Keith sent an image

Lance: Wait.

Lance sent an image

Lance: I knew I wasn't really lost.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!!!

Keith: Thank you, Lance.

Lance: Guess what I got you!

Keith: Socks

Lance: What kind of guess is that?

Keith: Fine.

Keith: Dinner?

Lance: nope

Keith: A car?

Lance: haha no.

Keith: A new boyfriend

Lance: Cruel!!

Keith: I'm running out of ideas here.

Lance: I'll give you a hint then: It's something everyone gets on their birthday!

Keith: Birthday... parties?

Lance: Not this year

Keith: Thank god. The last one was a disaster.

Lance: Keep guessing, Keith.

Keith: Uh... Birthday kisses?

Lance: That too, but you still havent guessed the main gift!

Keith: Can't you just tell me?

Lance: It starts with C.

Keith: Cake?

Lance sent an image

Lance: What you think?

Keith: I'm thinking it's time for a boyfriend change.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Hey!?!

Lance: Answer your phone man!!

Lance: I'm worried sick!!

Keith: Sorry, it died this morning and my charging cord broke.

Lance: You could have used a pay phone! Are you okay!!?

Keith: Yeah, I was in the building across from the fire. Completely safe, I promise.

Lance: God, I swear I died and went to heaven when I saw the news.

Keith: And yet, you're still here.

Lance: God kicked me out because there can only be one good looking man there and he didn't want to lose his throne.

Keith: Classic Lance.

Lance: I know you find me charming.

Keith: That's one word you could use.

Keith: Anyway, I'll head on home in a bit. Wanna meet me for dinner?

Lance: Already on my way.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Honey

Keith: Did we run out again? You could have told me before I left the supermarket.

Lance: Wha- No! I'm calling /you/ honey!

Keith: I'm Keith though.

Lance: We went over this.

Keith: So did you need anything from the supermarket before I start the car?

Lance: Yeah. I broke a bowl and theres glass everywhere and our broom is still at my moms place.

Keith: I'll get another broom then. That all?

Lance: Chocolate?

Keith: Already got it.

Lance: See, this is why I love you.

Keith: I didn't know I could buy your love so easily

Lance: For you, babe, I'll give you my love for free ;))

Keith: How generous of you.

Lance: That's me, Mr. Generous.

Keith: If you don't mind, Mr. Generous, but I'd rather we took on my last name.

Lance: Gasp! Keith, are you proposing to me!?

Keith: Lance we just moved in together last week. At least let me get used to you snoring in my bed before you jump to conclusions.

Lance: I don't snore!

Keith:

 

~*~*~

 

Keith: I'm breaking up with you. Don't wait up for me.

Lance: Are you still mad about the permanent marker thing or is this the hair dye?

Keith: ...

Keith sent an image

Lance: lol a masterpiece

Keith: This isn't funny, Lance! I had a serious business meeting to attend! Everyone is laughing!

Lance: lol brb

Keith: Don't leave, you asshole.

Keith: Lance.

Keith: LANCE!

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Goodmorning babe

Keith sent an image

Keith: It's evening for me but good morning.

Lance: Pfft time differences. Now I know how Shiro feels.

Keith: What are you doing up this early anyway?

Lance: Couldn't sleep.

Keith: Bad dreams?

Lance: Horny.

Keith: Really?

Lance: Terribly so. When are you coming home?

Keith: Next week, just in time to give you your gift ❤

Lance: I would be swooning right now, but I have a BIG problem.

Lance: Emphasis on big

Keith: Can you wait until I finished?

Lance: Are you at the hotel?

Keith: Yeah

Keith: Alright, you win

Lance: What's my prize?

Keith: Lemme see...

Keith: What are you wearing?

Lance: Is that even a question?

Keith: Answer it.

Lance: Yes, sir!

Lance: I've only got a shirt and boxers on.

Keith: Blanket?

Lance: Nope

Keith: Let me get comfortable, one second

Lance: Hurry back!

Lance: I'm in a state of distress!

Keith: Back

Lance: But not home

Keith: No. But if I was home right now, do you know what I would do?

Lance: What?

Keith: First, I'd lock the door and close the window and blinds

Lance: mmm I like where this is going

Keith: Take off my shoes

Lance: wait…

Keith: Put my socks in the hamper.

Lance: I don’t…

Keith: Take off my suit jacket before it gets crinkled.

Lance: is it too late to get you to stop.

Keith: I was just getting to the good bit.

Lance: well, unless u planned to suck my dick, I cant think of anything else you could consider the ‘good bit’

Keith: You just ruined the surprise, Lance.

Lance: omg

Lance: well

Lance: continue

Keith: hmm

Keith: Alright.

Keith: Tie on or off?

Lance: ooh, leave it on. You look so good with just a tie and shirt.

Keith: I’ll leave my tie on then.

Keith: Next, I’ll turn to you and grab your wrist to pull you against me.

Keith: I’ll twist my fingers through your hair and slide a hand up your back, run my fingers up your spine just how you like it.

Lance: YASSS KEITH YASSSSSSS

Keith:

Lance: Keith?

Keith: Video call me right now.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Are you home yet?

Keith: Don't you have anything to do? You've asked me this at least 60 times today.

Lance: I'm really impatient!

Keith: I know you are. I'll be back tomorrow, 9am sharp your time. Please don't leave me at the airport again.

Lance: Ugggh it was ONE TIME!! I'll be there, I promise.

Lance: I can't wait to see you ❤

Keith: I'm excited to see you too. Please get some rest. Stay safe on the road in the morning.

Lance: Safety is my middle name! Have a nice flight! I love you <333

Keith: I love you too.

                  Seen: 5:29am

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Hey, I'm already here so I'm gonna snooze in the car until your plane lands! If I'm not there when you land, beep me ❤

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Someone said your plane was delayed, but I'll wait for you inside anyway.

Lance: Do you think i need another pair of sunglasses?

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: This is a joke right?

Lance: You're gonna walk through that gate any minute now

Lance: Please respond as soon as possible...

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Keith, I'm scared...

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: They said your plane dropped off the radar. That it just disappeared.

Lance: They must be lying, right? Right???

Lance: That only happens in movies, right??????

Lance: Please tell me you're alright.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: There's an old lady here crying her heart out because her 3 grandkids were on your plane.

Lance: are on your plane.

Lance: Because you're still on your way.

Lance: Keith?

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Her name is Esmé. Her grandkids are named Samantha, Jacklyn and Benny. If you see them, let them know their grandmother is waiting here.

Lance: We're all waiting.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: It's been 6 hours since we were informed.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: They're kicking us out, said they'll inform us if anything happens.

Lance: I told my mom not to come over. I can't celebrate when you're not back yet.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Just in case you didn't even board the plane, its 6pm here.

Lance: Happy Birthday to me, I guess.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Hey, your flight was on the news.

Lance sent an image

Lance: That's almost like saying you were on the news.

Lance: They keep saying that the chances of finding the plane is low, and survival is even lower.

Lance: That's not true, is it?

Lance: It's like they always say. The News shows are always exaggerated.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Mom called and is crying over the phone. She asked why I didnt tell her before, and I said because you're coming home, and she cried even more.

Lance: Dad had to take the phone from her before it broke from her tears

Lance: They shouldnt be crying. It's not like you're dead.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: I'm not gonna sleep just in case I miss your text

Lance: Instead, I was going through old photos on my phone

Lance: Man, I took so many

Lance sent an image

Lance: Hey, remember the first date we went on? You said you've never had a crepe, and you burned your tongue when you took your first bite?

Lance: Remember how much you complained when I kissed you, because your tongue hurt?

Lance: I should get some of these pictures printed out.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: If I could just have any birthday wish, I'd wish for a response. Anything.

Lance: Just let me know you're okay.

Lance: I don't want anything else for my birthday this year.

Lance: Please.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Mom called again

Lance: Hearing her cry so much is making me want to cry

Lance: It's almost like I can feel tears running down my face too

Lance: ...

Lance: oh...

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: I must have passed out at some point. Sorry for that.

Lance: Man, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I didn't even recognise myself lol

Lance sent an image

Lance: I wish you were home right now to scold me for being such a baby

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Remember my birthday last year? When my cousin got me that giant cake with the stripper who jumped out for a joke, and I said I wished it was you? And then you promised me that this year, I'll get that wish?

Lance: Don't break your promise.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: They announced it on the news that they found the plane wreckage.

Lance: Completely torn apart, no survivors, but no bodies

Lance: That means you got out, right?

Lance: Please call me

Lance: I cant breathe

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Have I told you lately how much I love you?

Lance: I love you more than stars in the universe. I love you more than there are grains of sand on the beach. I love you more and more each day. You're such a precious piece of my life, I can't imagine living without you.

Lance: Please come home.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Mom came over to discuss a funeral for you.

Lance: It's so absurd?? I keep telling her you're not dead.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: You didn't turn up to your funeral today. The casket was empty, except a few photos and your favourite jacket.

Lance I begged mom not to put it in there. I told her you would be mad if you came home and it wasn't there.

Lance: I was scolded by, like, three old ladies for being disrespectful to the dead.

Lance: I kindly informed them that you're my life partner and I know you better than anyone and this is not where your jacket should be.

Lance: Who are these old ladies anyway?

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: The house is so much emptier.

Lance: It's been 2 weeks since I heard from you.

Lance: Mom comes over every day to clean and force me to eat. I'm not that hungry anymore, but she still forces me.

Lance: The bed hasn't smelled the same since you've been gone.

Lance: Mom has washed the sheets at least twice.

Lance: At the start, she moved a few of your things but I kinda blew up at her.

Lance: Sorry about that.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Your job sent me everything from your office.

Lance: Keith I think you just got fired...

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: I miss your voice so much. Video recordings just dont do you justice.

Lance: I wish I saved our most recent skype call.

Lance: It felt like it was only yesterday.

Lance: But I checked, it was a month ago.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: You were on the news again. Not just the plane, but you.

Lance: Did I mention you were on the news before? Whoops.

Lance: They gave a short report of how you were important.

Lance: Are important.

Lance: Sorry, when everyone else is speaking in past tense, it's hard to remember you're the only sane one.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: I went to a therapist today, completely under my moms request.

Lance: She physically dragged me there

Lance: The therapist told me I need to let you go.

Lance: I told him to go fuck himself on a cactus.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: You're not coming back, are you?

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: It's been 2 months since you were meant to return.

Lance: It doesn't feel real.

Lance: Nothing feels real.

Lance: Whenever I think about you, my whole body aches and my eyes itch and my heart feels like it stops existing.

Lance: It's a little overdramatic, don't you think?

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: 5 months.

Lance: That's a long time to keep me waiting, babe.

Lance: No one talks about you when I'm around.

Lance: It's almost like you just. Stopped existing.

Lance: It feels wrong.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance sent an image

Lance: I found this box hidden in the closet under your clothes. I never knew you were hiding things from me

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: I haven't stopped crying for 3 hours.

Lance: I can't believe you never told me this.

Lance: I never knew you kept every dumb little note and letter and trinket I gave you.

Lance: I can't believe you have unsent letters for me. You never told me.

Lance: I'll cherish this box until you get home.

Lance: Please hurry home.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: Happy Birthday

Lance sent an image

Lance: Sorry it's sloppy. My arms don't listen to me anymore.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: It's almost been a year. I still don't believe you're dead.

Lance: But when I brought that up to my mom, she slapped me and yelled for me to accept the truth so I can heal.

Lance: That was a week ago.

Lance: She isn't returning my calls.

Lance: What have I done...

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: It's the year anniversary of your disappearance.

Lance: Happy Birthday to me again.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: My friend tried to set me up with this girl called Laura.

Lance: I couldn't do it.

Lance: It's not right.

Lance: I know you'd be cool with it, but unless I heard a verbal agreement, I just can't do it.

Lance: This would be a perfect time to return.

 

~*~*~

 

Lance: This is the last time I'll be allowed to text you. I haven't forgotten you. I never will. I love you so much, but everyone I know is begging me to stop. I'm so tired. I would give anything to be with you right now. If you ever get these, send me a response. Please. I love you so much, it hurts.

 

~ This text could not be sent~

Notes:

if u were hurt by this fic: Good.