Chapter Text
Trigger Warnings: Suicide Baiting
. . .
His mother had always wanted an alpha child, a strong willed beauty, like she was.
Mitsuki had spent hours in labour, the sweat, tears and glycerine on her skin, mixing into a glossy sheen. Masaru couldn’t wipe her face for much longer, his arms beginning to ache and cramp, but this would be the worst time to mention it. His wife’s eyes were barely open, her brows knitted together, the tension in her face painful to watch. There was a growing storm in the room, the tension thick in the air and the focus intense. Masaru held his breath, his heart convulsing. His hand held tightly in his wife's grasp, until he heard it. The cries of a small child, his Katsuki.
Mitsuki had struggled to get to this moment, with multiple rounds of IVF, drugs and doctors coming to an end, she could finally relax. When the doctors claimed her baby was intersex, Mitsuki was over the moon, she believed she’d given birth to her little self.
For clarity's sake, Sex has two categories, Primary and Secondary. Mitsuki is Female first and an Alpha second, so she was born intersex as well. In contrast, her husband, Masaru, is a beta male and appears so, from head to toe.
However, Mitsuki’s wish posed a problem, secondary sex isn’t easily determined until puberty. An intersex child could end up an alpha female, like Mitsuki, or an omega male. There was a 50% chance her child would grow an omega, a chance she refused to accept.
. . .
Growing up, Katsuki wasn’t dressed in any specific way. He wore what was comfortable and, as custom for most children under 5, he was referred to by whatever pronoun worked. To his parents, he was a ‘they’, until he went to preschool.
“I want to be a boy!” Katsuki said defiantly, his little mud covered hand in his mothers manicured one.
“What do you mean Katsu?” Mitsuki stared down at him, her eyebrows raised to the clouds, watching him eat his flapjack in big strong bites.
Katsuki looks up at her, with a big pout. “Tsubasa’s mum calls him a he! And Deku’s too! I want to be a he”
Looking back, she couldn’t be sure if it was a sign or not, but she’d consider this the beginning of their problems.
. . .
Mitsuki felt conflicted, she knew he could easily be a male, that wasn’t hard to believe. What was difficult was, she wasn’t ready for him to be. She had hoped for Katsuki to grow into someone she was proud of.
Mitsuki came from a family where being alpha was an honour, a symbol of your strength, and in this society, she couldn’t afford for her child to be disadvantaged. Being an Omega, no matter the sex, was a fate she couldn’t imagine for her child.
Masaru couldn’t convince her to change, but he indulged in Katsuki’s Delusions, calling him a boy and introducing him as such. Mitsuki once made the mistake of calling Katsuki by the pronouns she preferred, and he threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, It was so embarrassing and his rebellious nature grew the more she pushed back. He’d openly glare at her, scream when he wouldn’t get his way and storm off to god knows where. Leaving his mother to chase him down and scold him enough that he’d shut up.
The hope that he’d grow out of it was starting to fade around age 10. She started to crack down on his behaviour, watching his every move, picking out his wrongdoings. She loved Katsuki, but he was difficult and the glaring, the swearing, the screaming... it needed to be corrected. Who else would be there to make sure of it? but the more she forced it, and tightened her grip the more he seemed to drift away. Slowly, without her realising he’d become nothing like she’d dream he’d be, nothing like her.
. . .
Katsuki was older, taller and Cooler. He knew he was pretty, his mothers hair and fathers jaw had served him well, at least that’s what Mitsuki told him.
The hag had also said he was an alpha, and he’d known that, but he was beginning to doubt it. When she said he was an Alpha, she meant an Alpha woman, and Katsuki was no woman. He barely fit with his fellow 13 year olds, let alone the girls.
Katsuki was a man, That he was sure of, but it lead to a contradiction. If he was a man, and an Alpha, he didn’t have the parts for it. Well he did, but with an additional.. section. And if he was wrong and he was a woman, an Alpha Woman, why wasn’t he growing into one? Puberty should have hit him like a brick by now.
When his voice began to drop, he was around 14, it felt so natural. He sounded more like the heroes he dreamed of, deep and booming like all might and endeavour. As it got lower, lower than his mothers, he grew confused. In the late evening, he’d try measure his voice with the keyboard in his room, tracking its depth. As it deepened, he felt both relief and a tightness in his ribs. He sounded like a man. He liked the idea he was right, and his mother wrong, but he didn’t know what that meant.
As time passed, he’d often overhear some locker room talk, the usual, about length and girth, and it triggered an urge to measure himself. It hadn’t ever come to mind before. In his bed, that night, with a torch and a ruler, he fumbled with his boxers trying his best to get the right angle. He wanted to brag about some other stupid metric, but he found he didn’t have much to gloat about. He was small. For the first time in his life, he felt unwavering unease. He’d hoped he was a late bloomer? He was 15, surely it would be bigger soon. Alphas had much larger packages than what he sported regardless if they were a man or a woman.
His hope diminished. By then, He knew what he was.
. . .
Katsuki was throwing a ball up, and catching it with his hand, over and over. His mother glanced at him a few time before putting down her magazine. “Katsuki,” she spoke softly.
He looked up at her, catching the ball on its dissent and propping himself up with his arms. “What?” He replied, a little rougher than he meant to be. His mother pursed her lips at that but made no comment on it.
“Have you.. started your cycle.” She glanced at his body, looking for some sort of sign, her hands picking at the skin on her nails.
He stared at her dumbly.
“You know, your menstrual cycle,” His face goes hot almost instantly, her sweet tone spoiled by the contents of her words.
“No? What- Are you serious right now?” By now Katsuki was sitting up, staring at her matching eyes.
“I don’t- Oh My god this cant be happening” He cant help but cover his face.
“It just seems..” She pauses, her cheeks a little flushed too, “I’ve told you plenty of times in past, its nothing to be embarrassed about, I just need to know.. as your mother.” She shuffles closer, reaching out to take his hand. “If it hasn’t started by now.. we may need a doctor.”
He snatches his hand away before she has the chance to hold it. “Look at me.. Do you really think I’ll just magically turn into you?” He says, voice cracking.
She stiffens,“Katsuki Listen.”
“No you listen! Just cause you can’t admit it, doesn’t mean you should make it my problem too,” He stammers, now standing, “I’m not some fucking girl, Look at me for once in your damned life!”
His mothers hand strikes his face, leaving his cheek cherry red. His eyes grew hot, his gaze trained on the wall to his right. Fuck it, what was the point.
. . .
Bakugou told everyone he met two things, He was going to UA and He was going to become number 1. Why? cause he needed people to vouch for him when he got to the top, to tell the world it was always his dream. That’s how he’d make these extras useful, but the only person he didn’t need was Deku.
Izuku Midoriya had followed him like a leach for too long, and now was the time to shake him, right before UA. Weak people always took from the elite, that’s what he’d been told, and Deku was the textbook definition of weakness. He was a beta and quirk-less. Quite unfortunate. If he’d been born an Omega, Katsuki wouldn’t have the means to put him in his place, but he’d be all the more pitiful.
Deku threatens his status. He knew of his birth defects and he was capable. One wrong move and Katsuki’s empire could be throttled. They’d know he’s not an Alpha and he’d be black-mailed to high hell. It would ruin him. So there was only one option, Beating the runt into silence, and if he fought back, hitting harder.
At the time, he hadn’t realised the rules of Karma.
He snatched the notebook out of Deku’s grasp and blasted it between his palms. Tossing the whole thing out the window and into the water down below, with a smirk. Hearing the satisfying sound as it hit the water.
“Don’t even think about applying to UA..” He growled, gripping his shoulder tightly, letting it spark. He liked when the nerd whimpered in fear, it settled something in his soul.
He strutted to the door, his goons tagging along behind him. “You know.. if you want to have a quirk that badly, there might actually be another way.” He faced away from Deku, his hands in his pockets, a smirk on his face.
Then he closes his eyes, almost picturing it. “Just pray you’ll get a quirk in your next life and swan dive off the roof of the building.” Saying it felt almost as exhilarating as he pictured, The wind through his hair till his final breath. He should take his own advice.
He walks out, and almost regrets it saying it, but Izuku should know better than to covet what he cant have, his delusions needed to be corrected and..
Who else would be there to make sure of it?
He almost flinches.
. . .
On his way home, he considers what he’s leaving behind. He’s hoping to reinvent himself at UA, show his dedication, make friends out of mutual interests instead of mutual hatred. He figures as long as he’s not shunned like his mother promises, he’ll be happy. He wants happiness.
. . .
He thrashes, resisting the slime he’s engulfed in. He can barely breathe, gasping for breaths, clawing at the slop on his face. Without thinking, his palms spark over and over. He needs to get out, or he’ll never be free. His eyes gloss over, an approaching green figure catches his eye. Deku.
Katsuki will never be happy.