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Cal laid on the hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Utter fucking fail.
He wasn't supposed to live. He was supposed to die that night. Whether it was from his mothers pills or the open slits in his wrists that showed more layers than it should have.
But he was too much of a pussy. Just HAD to go to mommy when the realization set in. He didn't truly want to go. Not yet. Not till Zero Day. Cal didn't want to leave Andre. Not right now. So he woke his mother up and tried to explain his actions without tripping on his words that much.
He'll never forget the horror on her face when she saw the blood spewing down to the floor from opened gashes of gore on her son's skin.
And so, now here he was. Stuck in a pale, sorrow-filled room that was lit up by fluorescent lights that burned his half-lidded eyes.
". . . I need a smoke."
Cal concluded, sitting up and looking around the room. Pretty empty. He was checked in on by a nurse recently, so he should have enough time for a cig break. And if he got caught? Who cares. He already fucked up well enough.
His line of sight goes to the IV stuck in his left hand. Right. Eugh. He almost forgot about that. Welp, either way, he still got up on his feet. His left hand went to gently grasp the IV pole, blinking a few times as he left a bit off balance, giving himself a second so he doesn't fall on his fucking face.
A few seconds after, he starts heading towards the solo window, picking up his bag with his free hand on the way. Dumbass doctors forgot to search it and just went with his words, so his pack is still in there.
Cal reaches his spot, placing the bag down on some sad blue chair, dragging it to the window and opening his bag. He unzipped a certain pocket and grabs what he needs, closing it up and putting it on the floor after.
He sat down with a "oof", Hand slipping from the metal pole of doom as opens the window weakly before he he grabs his lighter and pulls out a cigarette from the package. He puts the stick of cancer between his lips and inhale as he lights the tip.
He takes a drag before blowing, the cig now resting in-between two of his fingers, looking out the window.
Cal watches the sky, watching birds fly by, cars driving in and out of the parking lot, people wandering- it was a nice setting, in his opinion.
Cal goes to take another drag before hearing a knock on his door, causing him to cough and choke, sitting up straight rather quickly as the person enters the room. Cal instantly calms down, only becoming a bit surprised when he sees its nonother than Andre. His boyfriend-bestfriend.
"'Dre??"
Cal says letting out one last small cough. Andre snickers as he steps in the room, closing the door.
"oh my god you look like shit, Cal."
Andre responds. He tried to sound casual but there was a trace of both worry and annoyance, maybe.
"Pff- Fuck off, Man."
Cal bites back weakly, trying to fix the position of the arm that has an IV in it, trying to steady his grip on the cig as his shoulders calm. He wasn't expecting this visit, but he doesn't mind. He wouldn't lie, he's been missing Andre like crazy.
Andre enters the room properly,, closing the door almost fully but not fully closed so they don't get yelled at.
"... Soo... Mind telling me what the fucko happened or are you- You just gonna leave me?"
Cal sighed a bit. Empathy. and From Andre? that was... New. And with it being so open- it felt like he tore his chest open and gave him his heart. But maybe that was an over-exaggeration, he can't process empathy all that well. Not like he feels much of it. But he knows how to use it against people. But he didn't want to hurt Andre... No. Not him. Not his Dre.
Okay. Sappy...
Anyways, Calvin snaps out of his spiral of thoughts and lowers his head, eyes darting to the cigarette.
"Ah... Just- ya'know. Zero day can.. be tense on us- Me."
A nervous smile marked Cal's face as he tried to explain the situation without just spouting out the fact he wants to be 6 feet under but refused to go because he didn't want to leave the love of his life which was HIM.
"Stop giving me bullshit, Cal!"
The German was now infront of the blond, a flare in his eyes. A flare of passion for his friend. It was rare.
". . . It's- It's hard to explain. But... Um, heh.. Uhh, heh-"
"Can you quit with that smile?! Look at yourself!! This isn't- this- I could have lost you, Cal!"
Tears welled up in Andre's eyes, Causing Cal's smile to fall in a second when he watched a tear fall down his cheek,
"Yo-You can't just fucking do shit like that before fuckin' Zero day, Asshole! what the fuck is wrong with you?!. What part of- part of..! Jesus."
He brings a hand to his eyes, wiping the tearfall away as much as possible as he sniffled and mumbled sorrow bullshit under his sobs.
Cal was stunned. Frozen. He's never seen Andre - his best friend sense forever - in such a state. It was startling. Scary. Even for a man- no. Boy. Like Cal.
". . . I'm sorry."
Rare words, but so very sincere.
"If you were actually sorry you wouldn't have tried to fucking kill yourself."
Silence. The cigarette was burning up but Cal didn't notice. His line of sight drifts away from Andre, who was trying so hard to collect himself.
A minute pasts before the tension breaks when the door creaks open and the doctor walks into the room. Andre and Cal's heads snap over to the women, an awkward aura filling the room before the lady that looked all too tired spoke up,
"Do you two need a minute-?"
"I WAS JUST LEAVING!!"
Shouted Andre, walking past the doc as he dashes out the door, stunning the air.
Cal looks over at the doctor and smiles awkwardly when he finds her eyes drift to the cigarette resting between his fingers. If this night wasn't already painful, it was about to.
THE END.