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The moment Grace walked outside, he was hit by the chilling night air. It was a nice change from the stuffy, hot room he’d been stuck in; in fact, it was a nice change to have the ability to get fresh air when you needed it. That definitely wasn't an option in space. Yet, Grace had never really liked the cold all that much.
Even if they’d managed to find a solution for the sun, it took time for the temperature to readjust, took time to destroy the Petrova line. So he lived with the cold, understood that he hadn’t even had to deal with the worst of it.
Grace wrapped his jacket more firmly around himself, stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets. The breeze ruffled his hair, nipped at his skin. The stars blinked above him, his neck aching from the weird way he’d twisted it to try and get a better view.
He wasn’t sure why he felt so homesick. He’d felt the bitter gnawing in his gut since he’d cracked his eyes open on the ship years ago. And now he was back. He should feel better.
And he did… kinda. Did he? Gosh, Grace wasn’t sure how he felt, wasn’t sure how to put words to any of his thoughts, no matter how many times people asked him to.
Everything was just so overwhelming, had been since he’d dropped his bike and allowed himself to be dragged into the project.
Music vibrated the walls, muffled by stone as Grace leaned back and tried to tune out the noise.
Technically, the party was for him. Really, he should be having a great time. He has never been one to turn down a celebration. But parties filled with scientists grilling you about everything you’d discovered while you were stuck in space was a lot, and definitely not a very party-adjacent subject in Grace’s humble opinion.
Science was the last thing Ryland wanted to talk about at the moment, which was saying something being how it was pretty much the only thing he’d wanted to discuss in his many years of living. He supposed part of it was also due to the fact that he was not used to being this popular. Talking to that many people at once was not something he was used to, especially after months and months of exclusively talking to Rocky.
Look, when he sent those tapes, he just kinda assumed that those would answer most of the questions they had. I mean, he and Rocky had been pretty through. What he should’ve gathered was a very simple fact. Science was centered around questions. You have science; naturally, that’s gonna come with people trying to find answers.
So, safe to say, the interrogations hadn’t stopped since he’d landed back on Earth.
Grace was very used to question-fatigue. He used to be a middle school teacher after all. All he got all day were questions. Typically though, most of the problems he was asked had pretty simple answers and if they didn’t, a quick Google search would do the trick. These questions though were complex, requiring him to problem solve or revisit memories he’d put to rest years ago.
It was.. well, it was a lot. He was exhausted to say the least.
He just wanted to have a conversation that wasn’t about space, was that so hard to ask? He understood that was his whole deal, but you’d think they’d be able to give a guy a break.
Grace heard the door creak open. He didn’t bother to check who it was. He just hoped it wasn’t Stratt.
She’d been very all-business every time they’d talked since he’d landed, which wasn’t out of place for her, but there was a rigidity to the way she spoke. Sure, it could’ve been the years of freezing temperatures getting to her aching bones, but Grace could sense something deeper.
Clearly, it had to do with the fact that she’d essentially kidnapped and plopped him on a spaceship headed for certain death. Truthfully, he’d long accepted her decision. His feelings were still complicated, but it bothered him how off she acted because of it.
There was just this aura of guilt melting off every glance in his direction, one that filled him with a discomfort he didn’t need at the moment, thank you very much. He knew the talk was coming at some point, he just didn’t know when and prayed to any higher being out there that it wasn’t now.
“Hey.”
Whew, a distinctly male voice. Thank goodness he didn’t have to listen to Stratt try to apologize? Maybe? Did she do that?
He let out a quiet sigh of relief.
“Geez, sorry. I can go back inside if my company is so awful.”
“Huh?” Grace looked over to find Mark Watney grinning over at him, arms crossed in a mock pout.
“Oh, no, sorry,” Grace bobbed his head side to side, “I didn’t mean it like that. I thought you were someone else.”
Mark let out a small laugh, “I’m just messing with you, man.”
Look, it had taken a lot of work for Grace to be able to speak to Mark as a coworker and not as the fanboy he had been for so many years.
When the man had gotten stuck on Mars, his students were very interested in the whole affair, rightfully so. It led him down a deep rabbit hole of trying to discover any information on the man as NASA released it to the public… To share with his students, of course. Totally not because he was more interested than they were…
Anyways, when he’d found out that they’d dragged Mark out of his teaching job at NASA, mind you, to help prep the astronauts for the project, he had a… completely normal reaction to that information.
His reaction was even more regular when he found out they’d be working side by side… yeah, he totally didn’t have to go into another room to compose himself.
Safe to say, he was a fan. So, Mark Watney casually joking with him as if they’d been friends for years was unreal… Well, now that he thought about it, Grace and Mark technically had known each other for years, but most of those years, he’d been off the planet so he wasn’t sure if that necessarily counted.
“You okay?” Mark remarked, breaking Grace out of his thoughts. Grace glanced over and found Mark grimacing at his own words, “That was a stupid question.”
Grace snickered, “It’s okay, really. I get that a lot.”
“Nah, but I should know better,” Mark shook his head, “You get trapped in space for years and come back and everyone’s like ‘Hey, we know you just went through something extremely traumatic, but let me ask you a deeply loaded question.’”
Huh? Wow. Grace is now, stupidly, putting two and two together. Mark really does understand how annoying of a question that is.
“Safe to say, I get it. You don’t need to answer that, unless you want to, I guess.” Mark shrugs, and Grace acknowledges the fact that Mark really does get it, which is refreshing to say the least.
Grace shakes his head a little in response. He’d prefer not to talk about his feelings when he isn’t even sure of them myself at the moment.
Mark, as Ryland has learned, is terrible with silences and even Grace can admit that he’s not a fan of it either. Being in space, a place where there’s no sound, pretty much, makes you hate the quiet. So, the past-astronaut very swiftly changes the subject, “Hiding from the geniuses.”
“Yes,” Grace huffs, his breath leaving a trail of fog with it.
“Let me tell you,” Mark remarks, pushing himself off the wall and stretching, “Scientists do not know how to party.”
“Should’ve made a rule that there’s no talking about work at my party,” Grace agrees, rubbing at his eyes under his glasses to emphasize his annoyance.
“Wouldn’t have been a bad idea,” Mark nodded, “No promises that would’ve worked though.”
“Yeah, not much hope there.”
Mark snickers, tilting his head back to look up at the stars, a smile filled with familiarity grazing his lips.
“Can I ask you a kinda personal question?” The words left Grace’s lips before he could fully process the awkwardness it could bring. I mean, he didn’t know Mark all that well. They’d spoken a few times, been in the same room for numerous meetings, but he wasn’t sure they were at the ‘can I ask you about space cause you’re the only person who’d actually be able to understand it?’ stage of their relationship.
Luckily, Mark Watney is a man Grace can always count on to make everyone in the room more comfortable, or at least, that’s how Grace typically felt around the guy. He ultimately concluded that he felt the reward outweighed the risk.
“Yeah, of course,” Mark responded, very casually, sending a nod of approval Grace’s way.
“How do you do it?”
“Hm?” Mark sent a curious look in his direction, “Be the coolest person to ever live on Mars and survive to tell the tale?”
“Well, technically, no one’s ever died on Mars,” Grace clarified, before very quickly shutting his trap because obviously Mark knows that.
Yet, Mark just laughs (Grace realizing he enjoys that sound a whole lot), and remarks, “Fair point.”
“Well, Ry,” Mark continues, and wow, they’re at the nicknames phase, be chill Grace, “You’re gonna have to be a little more specific than that.”
“I just mean,” Grace tries to gather his thoughts, “You’re so… lax about it all. You’re able to answer any question thrown at you, your whole job is teaching kids how to do what you did. I mean, you did a TedTalk. I try to talk about it and I just…” Ryland grips his fists together before spreading out his fingers with a boom.
Mark trills his lips as he thinks, slowly pacing in front of Grace, “Well, let’s see, intensive therapy, seeing my loved ones, not eating potatoes for a real long time.”
Grace chuckles. Mark goes on, “Really, though, it’s not as easy as it looks. It took a lot of work. Personally though, talking about it really helped cause that’s just the way my brain works. I gotta get all my thoughts out in order to process them, so I've gotten really good at being comfortable with talking to everyone about it. I mean, I’m telling you, I got hundreds of logs on file from Mars of me just talking about god knows what. It just helped me figure everything out.”
“But,” Mark pointed towards Grace, reminding Ryland a bit of himself when he was giving his students a lecture, “What worked for me probably isn’t gonna be the same for you. You gotta figure that out yourself… which sucks. I wish I could just give you an answer that would solve both our problems. God, I wish it worked like that but, sadly, we all have our own problems we gotta figure out.”
“Spoken like a true poet.” Grace snapped with both hands at Mark’s words of wisdom.
Mark shook his head and threw up his hands, “I know, I know, I’ll be here all night.”
“And ya know,” Mark pauses his stride, turning to look Grace in the eyes, “You can always talk to me. I know we had super different experiences but I know how it feels to not feel like anyone gets it.”
Grace could’ve cried right then… He didn’t, but youch, that hit deeper than he thought it would.
“That means a lot, genuinely,” Ryland murmured, which didn’t fully capture his feelings in the slightest, but he hoped his tone portrayed how much he really meant it.
Mark nodded, giving Grace a look full of so much warmth, he could’ve melted right then and there.
Grace had studied the sun intensely. That was his whole thing. So, in his expert opinion, he concluded that Mark Watney’s light rivaled the sun's easily, and no, he did not care how cheesy that sounded.
“So,” Mark clapped his hands together, a mischievous light flickering in his eyes as he proclaimed, “Second, most important Mark Watney tip of the night.”
“You,” Mark pointed a finger directly between his eyes, where his glasses dangled awkwardly on the edge of his nose, “Need to chill the fuck out.”
Grace sputtered, confused. Mark gave him a wicked grin before clarifing, “That came out wrong, you’re not an uptight asshole. Pretty far from that actually. But, this party is for you and you deserve to let loose.”
At that moment, Grace became aware of the music pulsing through the building, the same sound he’d tried to tune out.
Mark began bopping his head along to the beat, “And see, this is a pretty good song for a loser scientist party.”
“Hey, you just said this was my party!”
“Grace,” Mark deadpanned, “We are both loser scientists. We don’t get a pass just cause we did cool space shit.”
Grace wasn’t sure if he recognized the song, but it was clear Mark was very familiar with it, as he started to sway.
It managed to click in Grace’s brain what Mark was implying and he very quickly began voicing his complaints, “Mark, no, you don’t understand. I’m terrible-“
“Nope, nope,” Mark started swaying in Grace’s direction, “Not gonna hear it. I know you got it in you.”
“Mark-“ Grace is interrupted by Mark tugging on his hand, pulling into a more open spot.
“Okay, just listen to the rhythm,” Mark started motioning them both along to the beat.
Grace protested, “I know how to dance, I just suck!”
“Who cares?” Mark straightened his spine, interlaced their fingers on one arm and placed a firm hand on Grace’s waist.
Holy crap, be normal about this, Ryland. Be normal. He stiffly placed his other hand on Mark’s shoulder and let himself be swayed back and forth. Don’t trip, don’t trip, don’t trip.
Grace countered, “I would assume you care, being how you are an expert on disco.”
“Unwillingly!” Mark pointed out as he spun them in a slow circle.
Truthfully, Ryland was so focused on not making an absolute fool of myself to notice the dopey look Mark was sending his way.
All hope was lost was when Ryland stepped on Mark’s foot, “I’m sorry, I haven’t danced with someone since the Spring Fling in middle school-”
“Grace,” Mark cut off the other man’s rambling, “Relax.”
He’s doomed. He’s completely and utterly doomed. We’re at the point of no return. That kaleidoscope of butterflies that’s practically choking him now is here to stay.
Mark clearly wasn’t one to notice the way Grace’s legs almost turned into jelly, as he quietly hummed along to the tune.
The longer they went, Ryland adjusted a bit, becoming slightly more relaxed. The tension seeped out of his shoulders and learned to follow Mark’s lead.
All relaxation quickly disappeared when Grace felt an unexpected shift in gravity as he was dipped and he was so close to falling out of Mark’s grip he felt his dance partner almost lose his own balance. Luckily, he was pulled back up and Grace let out a heavy sigh.
There was a 5-second silence before they both burst into a fit of laughter and oh my lord, had their faces been this close the whole time?
Grace felt a stupid, no good, very bad tug in his gut and he was certain that he’d lost all sense as he risked a glance down at Mark’s lips. He caught himself, shifting his gaze back up to find Mark’s eyes filled with… Gosh, what was it he noticed? Who knows how human facial expressions work, was he supposed to know all that by-?
Mark caught Grace’s lips, and Ryland short-circuited. Mark quickly pulled back, a kicked puppy dog looked in his gaze and holy shit, Mark just kissed him.
“Shit, sorry, I didn’t-“ Grace caught Mark’s words off, kissing him properly this time round.
Mark’s lips were warm and reactive, pressing deeply and getting a hum out of Ryland. He hadn’t done this in a real long time and had almost forgotten how wonderful it felt.
After a moment, they both pulled and blinked at each other.
“Wowza…” Was the only thing he could think to say. He quickly smacked a hand over his mouth and groaned.
He heard Mark let out a loud laugh and Ryland murmured, “I can’t believe I just said that.”
Mark gently took Grace’s face in both his hands, reassuring, “You’re so fucking adorable.”
Mark caught their lips again and Ryland decided, yes, Mark definitely shone brighter than the sun.