Chapter Text
Their cabin - or whatever they decide to call it, certainly not home - was well-lit this evening, the Spectre must have been feeling extra generous. Usually it's dim, sometimes pitch black during the dead of night. It was unusual, but the slightly appreciated having more light than beforehand. Of course, they could have always lit things up themselves, but who knows if they accidentally caught something on fire? They were not a careful bunch,
Surprisingly enough, all of them were out in the lounge of the cabin. It was furnished with three black couches and a coffee table set in the middle of them. It appeared everyone was on the couches, except Sixer, who laid on the floor next to them because he couldn't fit due to his size.
Slasher and Nosferatu both sat at the end of one of the couches, next to Sixer, the three of them just listening since they can't talk. Technically Slasher could, but all he can say is "kikimama", so he may have just decided to sit with the mute killers.
Azure, c00lkidd, and 1x were sitting together on one couch. Despite the fact 1x disliked Azure (or more like hated him; he hates everyone) he wanted to be next to c00lkidd, who was in the middle of them. Azure and 1x were the ones who cared most about c00lkidd, this ten year old who was unaware of the carnage he had caused and it was unfair for him to be forsaken. 1x was the Creation of Hatred - a bit odd how he had a soft spot for c00lkidd, but no one questioned it. Azure believed it was just plain cruelty to forsaken a CHILD, therefore he watched over c00lkidd more as a parental figure.
Noli would have sat with them too, but he believed three people were already too much, so he just sat on the floor next to it. Noli was also one of the killers who c00lkidd looked up to, or came to him to talk to. Apparently, when c00lkidd was in Robloxia before he died, he had been raised by 007n7, who was roommates with Noli. So those three knew each other. Noli wasn't the most careful around c00lkidd, but he tried to be.
John Doe was alone on the last couch, but he seemed perfectly content with that.
The only one talking was Noli at the moment, who was blabbering endlessly about the Spectre and something else. No one could really understand him due to how glitch-y he sounded currently, so mainly they just pretended to listen.
c00lkidd leaned over to 1x more, tapping him to draw his attention to him. 1x turned his head to look at c00lkidd, who had his c00lgui out.
"Hey, 1x, do you want to know how I use the c00lgui?" He asked him quietly, so it didn't sound like he was interrupting Noli's incoherent speaking. 1x nodded out of politeness. He didn't actually want to, but he did it for the sake of c00lkidd.
During c00lkidd's explanation, he didn't activate anything, he just pointed to the red-black boxes with labels and said what he used them for during rounds. Azure, despite not being asked, leaned over to listen to c00lkidd as well, which annoyed 1x, but he didn't move.
When c00lkidd was done, 1x just nodded in approval. "You learned well," he complimented him before getting up, walking away from the others.
"Uhh, wh3re 4r3 y0u g01ng?" Noli stopped his previous talking just to ask 1x. He turned around to look at Noli without answering before continuing to go away. "0k4y, wh4t3v3r. 4nyw4ys-"
1x went into his room, closing and locking the door. His room was dark, as always, with black walls, floors, and ceiling. Even his bed was gray-colored. Shelves held on the wall by dark green chains were above the bed's headboard, with his daemonshanks displayed on the wall besides them.
The first thing 1x did was take off his torn, small shawl. Keeping it on all day was irritating, but he liked the fact it covered his shoulders and some of his chest. He didn't like acknowledging the fact THIS was his body, his form - but he didn't want the others to think he was insecure, so only a shawl and pants it was. He was unsure if the others thought Noli didn't like his body very much either since he wore a sweater all the time, but 1x just wants to be cautious. Plus, he didn't want to walk around with all his bare upper body showing.
He sat down on his bed and stared at the floor, thinking of sleeping. He glanced over at his arms and immediately felt a burning sensation, knowing there were cuts there. No others knew there were self harm scars. Since most of his body was black, they were simply invisible. Unless you stared at his arms long enough, you could see the vague outline. But who would do that? 1x saw no reason to cover them.
He was trying to stop doing self harm. But every time he had a single thought about Brighteyes or Telamon, he would gain an instant urge to cut himself. Or stab himself. Anything could work. Most of the time, he gave way to the temptation. He knew he deserved to be hurt. And to be hated. Sometimes there are exceptions in rounds, how he impales himself with his swords to summon his minions, or he ruins his eye for a few seconds to see survivors. He wouldn't call that self harm, more like using his abilities.
It was clear to him he was struggling to stop himself. Every time he cut, he feels more guilty and terrible. The more terrible he feels, the more he wants to cut. It was a vicious, never-ending mental cycle. At this point, he might have to have someone else force him to stop. However, 1x never wanted to share this problem with anyone for multiple reasons. One; he didn't want them to assume he was weaker because of them. Two; he didn't want to burden them. He was a waste of time anyways.
Grabbing one of his swords, 1x stared down at himself and raised the blade. He won't try to kill himself - just...maybe a few cuts.
[-]
Shortly after 1x left, Nosferatu also departed. Not long, Slasher left prior Sixer. Eventually Azure told c00lkidd to get some sleep and they both left, leaving Noli and John Doe. After a few moments, Noli spoke.
"H3y, J0hn, 4r3 y0u g0nn4 l34v3 m3 t00?"
"Depends. Are you going to leave first?"
"4r3 y0u ch4ll3ng1ng M3!?"
"I never asked for a challenge, I asked if you were going to leave."
Noli defiantly stared the the last killer in the living room. "Fuck y0u, I'm st4y1ng."
"Well, night."
John Doe got up and started walking away, leaving Noli to play some glitch-y sound to himself in disappointment. As he walked past 1x's room, he heard a loud clang, the sound of a blade hitting the floor. He wondered what the hell he must be up to. He thought of knocking the door down, but that would be entirely invading his privacy. Instead, he politely knocked.
"Go AWAY."
"Can I come in?"
"I said, GO AWAY." 1x sounded infuriated, but to be fair, he sounded like he hated everyone all the time, hence being the Creation of Hatred.
John Doe decided that 1x will not be spared as he was awfully rude to him when he tried to be nice. He lifted his legs and kicked the door open, somehow unhinging the lock in that process. A blade soar right past John Doe's face, scratching his forehead and drawing blood. If he had just been one inch further, the blade might have impaled his head.
"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER."
"Someone is really aggressive tonight," John Doe commented, taking out the daemonshank and throwing it to 1x. It clanged on the ground and it didn't take long John Doe long to notice 1x was not wearing his shawl, which he usually does. He looked distraught, sitting at the edge of the bed. 1x must have had a really quick reaction speed if he had taken the sword out of its hinges and threw it the second John Doe kicked the door open.
Then he noticed blood on the floor below 1x.
"Get out." 1x growled, taking both his daemonshanks, standing up, and pointed one of them at John Doe. It was difficult to see for how dark 1x's room was, but he could vaguely see the blood dripping from 1x's arms, hearing the quiet, sickening sound of blood droplets. John Doe noticed 1x's expression. He was absolutely furious.
Now, John Doe could respect 1x's desires and leave the room, however, he despised the fact that 1x thought he could just demand what he do. He wasn't going to let this killer who has been here less than he has boss him around.
Without warning, he used his corrupted arm to knock the sword pointed at him out of 1x's hands, sending the blade across the room. 1x immediately slashed the other across John Doe's chest, making a successful deep wound. Before 1x could get the other daemonshank, John Doe grabbed his wounded arm and dug his claws in the skin, which managed to get a yelp of pain from 1x. He slammed him to the ground as he was stronger than him in raw strength. Still wielding the other sword, 1x attempted to drive it in John Doe's chest again but he knocked the sword out of his hand as well with his corrupted arm, which left him with no weapons, along with a potentially badly injured arm. His own chest was bleeding from the deep wound 1x had caused, but he was focused on keeping 1x down, pinng him as his foot was on his chest. 1x did not match John Doe in strength, and he knew this, so he just accepted defeat.
"You actually thought you could beat me, Creation of Failure?" John Doe laughed, staring down at him.
"Creation of Hatred," 1x corrected. "And if you hadn't gotten rid of my swords, you would have been the one defeated. Now, get off me."
After John Doe not replying and continuing to stare down at 1x, the pinned killer sighed.
"What do you even want from me? Why'd you barge into MY ROOM when I told you not come in?" He asked, narrowing his scarlet eyes.
"I was passing by to get to my own room," John Doe said, "and I conveniently heard one of your swords drop, so I decided to see what you were doing."
"What I'm doing? That is NONE of your business." 1x argued. "Nosy bi-"
"Eh, it was more of checking to see if you're okay," John Doe lied. He didn't want 1x to finish his insult, and although that was hardly believable due to the killers knowing they don't entirely like each other, he needed to come up with an excuse.
Just from 1x's face he could tell he was suspicious. "Uh-huh...sure...And...since when did literally care to see if I am okay? Never. Poor excuse. Get off of me."
"Why were you cutting yourself?"
1x expression went from annoyance and frustration to neutral, faintly surprised. "T-that is not your business either," 1x responded a bit hesitantly. "What I do should not concern you. And if it doe, then don't waste your time trying to get an answer, because I won't give you one."
John Doe sighed. He didn't really care. He grabbed 1x's injured arm again and slammed him against the side of his bed, walking away. He immediately got up and grabbed his daemonshanks, slamming the door behind John Doe.
John Doe genuinely enjoyed being much physically stronger than 1x. He was strong, yes, but John Doe was one of the strongest killers in raw strength, alongside Sixer. 1x mainly relied on his swords, as he used them for mass infection and entanglement.
He didn't want to admit he did have the slightest concern for 1x when he found out he had cut himself. 1x doing self harm was not something he expected, and he genuinely wondered why he did it. Was he mentally well? Probably not. John Doe didn't want to care about him.
He reminded himself he only had slight concern. He wasn't head over heels caring for 1x, just a tad where he wanted him to tone down the cutting. He already hurt himself plenty in rounds - cutting his eyes, impaling himself with both his daemonshanks - so why do it outside of them, where wounds can last? He wasn't using his abilities...John Doe figured he might be doing it because he hates himself. He was the Creation of Hatred- so he should just let 1x do his own thing.