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Miyano's head is pounding, his brain beating against the inside of his skull. It takes considerable effort for him to open his eyes, and even the dim light is enough to make him groan. When his vision focuses, he takes in the paneled ceiling, gauzy curtains, and stiff white sheets around him and realizes that he's in the nurse's office. He doesn't remember being brought in, but this headache is explanation enough.
As the pain ebbs, Miyano's senses come back to him, and he hears voices from the other side of the curtain. They're low and masculine, but not clear enough that he can tell who they are. He sits up slowly, breathing deep against an onslaught of dizziness, and suddenly the voices go silent. A looming shadow grows larger, accompanied by footsteps. Miyano reflexively grips his bedsheet tighter as the figure unceremoniously sweeps the curtains open.
"Myaa-chan! You're awake!"
Relief sweeps over Miyano, because it's just Sasaki. But it's just as swiftly replaced with ice cold terror, because it's not Sasaki. This person has broader shoulders, longer hair, a thinner face and sharper cheekbones. He towers over the end of the cot. He isn't wearing a school uniform.
"A-are you... Sasaki-senpai's brother?"
The smile falls off this doppelgänger's face. He pouts and looks over his shoulder.
"Have my looks really changed that much?" he asks someone other than Miyano.
"Clearly mine have!" The other person yelps, obviously frazzled. Miyano startles, because he knows that voice. "It makes sense that yours have, too."
"Who are you?" Miyano blurts, eyeing the tall man and the shorter shadow warily. His heart is racing, and the headache isn't helping.
Not-Sasaki's brow wrinkles. "You don't know who I am, Myaa-chan?"
The other person in the room, still concealed by the partially drawn curtain, comes up and smacks Sasaki in the back of his head. Miyano briefly wonders if he's Hirano, because that's definitely one of his moves. But he doesn't really match Hirano's size or stature, and that voice— "We don't know how old he is. He could be from before we met, senpai. That's why I said we have to take this slowly."
"I kept the curtains shut until he woke up," Not-Sasaki huffs. "You didn't even let me get a good look while he slept!"
Miyano has to fight the temptation to throw the sheet over his head. Doesn't this guy know that watching people sleep is creep behavior? Then again, that's another point in the 'just like Sasaki' column.
"You know who I am, don't you?" Not-Sasaki asks again, this time a little more hesitantly.
Miyano takes a deep breath. His skull still feels too tight for his head. "You look like Sasaki-senpai…" he admits reluctantly. "Sort of."
Not-Sasaki beams. "And you look like Myaa-chan, but even cuter than I remember."
"You're being overbearing, senpai," the other person huffs. He steps closer to Sasaki, past the edge of the curtain, revealing a glimpse of his school uniform. Miyano startles at the familiar navy sweater vest. Catching this, Not-Sasaki flings the curtain open faster than the guy who'd been taking cover can duck out of view.
Miyano's jaw drops. "Did I get isekai'd?!"
Not-Sasaki blinks. "Myaa-chan, is 'isekai' a BL thing?" He isn't asking Miyano, but the other boy, who is somehow also...
"No, it's a different genre. I mean, there can be overlap, but most isekai are fantasy fulfillment for straight guys, so they have all-women harems—" Miyano, but not Miyano, cuts himself off and clears his throat. He turns to face Miyano properly. "Anyways, technically it isn't isekai if you go into your own future."
His future.
Miyano stares into his own face. This version of him, clearly older, would never be mistaken for a girl: his chin is too sharp, jaw too defined, shoulders too broad. And yet, somehow, he doesn't look all that different from what Miyano normally sees in the mirror. Is it possible that he doesn't really look as feminine as he thinks he does?
Is it possible that he never did?
"How tall are you?" Miyano splutters just as soon as he finds his voice again.
Not-Sasaki—or rather, future Sasaki—laughs. "Of course that's the first thing you ask. Tell him, Myaa-chan!" He rests his hand on top of the other Miyano's head, only for it to be swiftly swatted away.
Future Miyano huffs. "169 centimeters," he answers reluctantly. "But I'm not done growing yet!"
Miyano gasps. "I grow nine centimeters in two years?" he marvels, some of his anxiety falling away. Sure, this older Miyano still hasn't reach his goal height of 170, but he's so close!
Future Miyano gives his younger self a quizzical look. "How can you tell how old I am?"
"Oh. I just guessed—I mean, you're wearing a school uniform, but Sasaki-senpai isn't, so…"
"You've always been so observant, Myaa-chan," Sasaki interrupts, cooing like a proud parent. Miyano is accustomed to Sasaki's overzealous compliments, but he can't recall ever hearing such an indulgent quality in his tone before. And once he's looking for it, Miyano senses something different about the way this Sasaki is looking at him.
"Wait," he mumbles, thinking out loud. "Why is Sasaki-senpai here? He should have already graduated."
Future Sasaki and Miyano both go tense. For a split second, their gazes dart towards each other, and Sasaki's fingers twitch towards his Miyano's hand.
'His?'
Realization hits Miyano like a truck. He stares at these two bizarre doppelgängers with his mouth hanging open.
"Oh my God."
"It's not what you think!" future Miyano blurts.
"But I like women!" Miyano cries back.
"And you said he wouldn't figure it out," Sasaki teases. His tone is playful, but even though he's grinning his eyes seem sad. "You always underestimate yourself, Myaa-chan."
"He wasn't—I—I couldn't think of myself that way back when I was a first year!"
Miyano's hands curl into fists in his lap. "I like girls?" he repeats uncertainly, staring up at himself even though future Miyano is avoiding his gaze. Sasaki helpfully nudges him.
"Are you gonna take this one? Or should I?"
"We can't!" future Miyano insists. "If this really is time travel, then we've already revealed too much. We may have messed everything up!"
It shakes Miyano how obvious fear is on his own face, an unmistakable expression even if he's never seen himself make it before. What is he, his older self, so afraid of?
"So… you really are dating?" he can't help but ask, trying to understand. He doesn't feel that way about men. He certainly doesn't feel that way about Sasaki-senpai, not even this older, handsomer version.
Sasaki takes hold of future Miyano's hand, laces their fingers together, then brings his hand to his mouth to press a soft kiss to Miyano's knuckles. Across the cot, Miyano squeaks, but the older boys ignore him. "Hey, don't panic. It'll be fine."
"You don't know that. This is exactly how timelines get ruined!"
Sasaki squeezes future Miyano's hand. He's smiling properly now, bigger and warmer than Miyano has ever seen. He presses a kiss to future Miyano's forehead, then says, "Myaa-chan, time travel isn't real."
"Then what do you make of him?" future Miyano huffs, snatching his hand away from Sasaki to gesture to the bed. Sasaki's smile takes on a lurid quality.
"Easy. Alone in a room with two cute Myaa-chans? I'm having an incredible dream."
At that, Miyano can't help but hide, curling up on the cot and throwing the blanket over his head.
"Quit traumatizing him!"
Sasaki laughs. "That was nothing. I remember what you were reading back then, baby Myaa-chan. Although looking back, I'm not sure how they were allowed to sell you all that porn—"
'This is a dream,' Miyano reminds himself, eyes shut tight. 'This is a dream, so if I go back to sleep, I'll get out of here.' The thought is strangely less comforting than it should be.
A dip in the mattress makes Miyano lift his head. He's expecting that Sasaki wants to continue flirting with him, so he's surprised that it's future Miyano who has sat at the end of the bed.
"I understand that this is probably very overwhelming for you," he says awkwardly, and Miyano snorts.
"I'm not upset. This is a dream, like Sasaki-senpai said." Miyano responds. "I'm not gay."
"Technically, I'm not gay either," future Miyano counters with his eyebrows raised. "Bisexuality exists, and it's probably a lot more common than most people realize—"
"But that's not me," Miyano interrupts. He stares hard into the warped reflection of his own face. He doesn't get stubborn all too often, but on this topic he won't back down. "Maybe you aren't me."
Future Miyano's lips purse into a thin line, and then he sighs. "I'm not trying to convince you of anything. Actually, I have a question."
"Huh?"
"You could tell that Sasaki-senpai and I are dating right away," future Miyano says quickly, his measured tone belied by the color filling his cheeks. "How?"
Miyano hesitates. "I don't know... it was just… obvious." He feels himself start to blush too, recalling their expressions and the way their bodies seem to orbit one another's. "Are you trying to keep it a secret?"
He really, really hopes they aren't, because they're doing an abysmal job. It isn't because of his honed fudanshi vision that Miyano spotted their tells; even a room full of kindergarteners would notice. There's no way anyone could look at either of them and not see the lovesickness in their eyes.
Sasaki approaches the end of the bed, only to brush his fingers through future Miyano's hair. "Yes, we're being very discrete," he says unseriously. Future Miyano tuts and swats at his hand, but it doesn't look like he's actually trying to make him stop.
"So people know?" he wonders. It's strangely sweet. If they were any other guys, Miyano would be able to enjoy the perverse delight he feels at the implications of their relationship. But since it's his own face that Sasaki is pinching and pulling at, in a way that the Sasaki Miyano knows never would—or would he? Does he want to?
The bottom of Miyano's stomach falls out. He'd been so fixated on his older self, he didn't think twice about his Sasaki— or, well, not his, but the Sasaki-senpai he knows. The brave second-year who intervened when Kuresawa was getting beaten up, who followed Hirano to their classroom once and then kept coming back. Who took a second round of beating from those bullies and asked Miyano to keep it a secret.
"You're really cute, Myaa-chan. Wanna go out with me?"
"He wasn't kidding!" Miyano squeaks before clapping his hands over his mouth. His heart is racing as flutters of every fleeting touch Sasaki's given him resonate across his skin. It feels unbelievable that Sasaki actually wants him, but just as difficult to deny. A gentle hand rests on the crown of his head. With another squeak, Miyano lifts his face out of his hands, and sure enough that's future Sasaki towering over him.
"Myaa-chan," he murmurs, his voice lower and more mature than what Miyano's familiar with but unmistakable still. When Miyano dares to meet his gaze, the warmest and most indulgent smile he's ever seen punches the breath right out of him. He's frozen like a deer in headlights, but Sasaki's tender expression doesn't shift in the slightest. "I was never kidding," he explains. "But don't worry. I'll wait as long as you need."
Sasaki looks over at future Miyano, still with that adoring gaze, and repeats, "No matter how long you keep me waiting."
Miyano breathes slowly, chest swelling with overwhelming, unnameable emotions. The way Sasaki speaks to him and looks at him make him feel so… precious. Before he can formulate a response, or even string a coherent word together, future Miyano huffs.
"It was less than a year!"
"A year?!" That's such a long time to keep Sasaki waiting. It also can't nearly be long enough for Miyano's sexuality to change.
"Not by my count," Sasaki whines. "I waited a lot longer than that."
"You can't complain now, you just told him you'd wait as long as it takes!"
Sasaki turns to face the future Miyano, so Miyano can only see his back as he spreads his arms open. But he has the perfect view of his own face as his future self walks without hesitation into Sasaki's embrace. Miyano watches his arms come up around his senpai and hug him tightly. It's better than anything he's seen in a manga or drama—it's real. So overwhelmingly real, Miyano practically feels dizzy over it.
"Oh god, I think we made him pass out—!"