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Isabel walked through the camp, looking for Jade. This place… It was eerie, at times. She wondered why Trevor and Derek had decided to host this season at an abandoned carnival, of all places. To a certain extent, Isabel could understand it. She supposed, that for a season full of fresh new faces… A fresh new place for everyone to compete was a good way to rebrand the show, to extend themselves outside of Kristal’s shadow and really bring in the feel that it was a new era, there to stay.
But out of all places… An abandoned carnival? It just felt creepy. It spooked her out at points. While she was religious, Isabel did not consider herself one to believe in ghosts, the supernatural, or anything of the like. But the general atmosphere of the aptly named Carnival Of Chaos almost convinced her that the supernatural was real.
Shaking her head to ward off such intrusive thoughts from the enemy, she found herself on the way to the beach. Of course, Jade was here. In a meditative, pose her eyes closed, a calm expression plastered on her beautiful face. And in her swimsuit no less… Isabel found that-
She cleared her throat awkwardly. No, she wouldn’t have impure thoughts while here, with a friend no less. Her only love was to the lord, wasn’t it? She couldn’t love anything else. Not in that way, at least.
Sighing, she approached Jade, sitting down on the sand next to her. She grimaced. She had gotten on Lynda for cleaning her clothes incorrectly earlier, but she might as well clean them the way Lynda had with what this sand would do to her… Maybe she should’ve changed into her swimwear beforehand. Well, it’s not exactly like she KNEW Jade was going to be at the beach, so she could cut herself some slack.
“...Hey, Jade.” Isabel greeted softly, not wanting to be too loud so as to not disturb her. Jade flicked an eye open and a small smile crossed her face.
“Isabel. Glad to you see. Did you want to talk about something?” She asked as she cocked an eyebrow. Isabel frowned. She did… In truth, the night Spencer went home, something about Jade seemed… Off. Jade often put up a calm demeanour, she didn’t tend to… Open up to others. Isabel could understand why, of course. The woman had often confided in her about her past and how dismissive, vindictive, and cruel people had been to her, both because of her body weight and vitiligo. And it wasn’t fair. The lord decreed that they should be kind to all, yet some people seemed so obsessed with putting people down just to make themselves feel better!
“...Yeah. I did, actually. It’s just… Last night. Um, are you… Ok?” She asked. Mentally Isabel cursed herself for the awkwardness of her tone, but she wasn’t sure how to approach this conversation. Despite not having the… Highest opinion of Spencer, she DID know that he and Jade had been close. And from their earlier conversations Spencer’s betrayal of Jade’s trust had clearly left an impact on her.
Jade expression flickered for a bit before she shrugged non-chalantly.
“Why wouldn’t I be? Our alliance did what we needed to and got out Spencer. We’re in the driver’s seat Isabel, there’s nothing to be worried about.” Jade assured her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Isabel flushed but shook her head and sighed.
“Jade… That isn’t what this is about. I’m not… Worried over our position in the game. Not going forward at least. I wanted to talk about something personal with you.” She admitted. Jade frowned at that, crossing her arms.
“You know I don’t like… Opening up to people.” She pointed out. Isabel nodded. She was well aware of all the walls Jade had put up in the game to avoid people figuring out the real her. She liked to keep herself, her interests, her hobbies, on the downlow.
And Isabel respected that. Jade clearly came here to win, while Isabel had been more open with people. Of course, she was really just here to spread God’s message to the millions of viewers of Disventure Camp, but she supposed a million dollars would be nice as well.
“It’s about Spencer.” She admitted. Jade raised an eyebrow.
“And? What about him? He congratulated me for eliminating him and took his elimination in stride. I don’t think there’s much else to say, really.” Jade said with a shrug. Isabel sighed.
“Jade, come on… I know from what you’ve told me before, that Spencer’s betrayal… Hurt you. Badly. I know you’re not one to show your emotions, but I saw how hurt you were by that. You even seemed upset when him and Logan hung out.” Isabel pointed out. Jade looked away from her, her expression guarded, before she gave up and sighed, smiling sadly at Isabel.
“...You know, I never was able to keep anything from you.” She admitted with a chuckle. Isabel smiled as well. She wasn’t sure how she did it, but Isabel was fairly sure she was one of the few people in Jade’s life capable of actually breaking her walls down.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Isabel asked softly. She didn’t want to force Jade to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with. Jade seemed conflicted for a moment, before letting out a sigh and nodding.
“Yeah. Sure. I guess it’d be more healthy for me long-term if I… Actually talked through some of my issues for once. Besides, your a nun. I’m sure you’ve done plenty of listening to people’s struggles before.” Jade noted. Isabel chuckled. She couldn’t really argue with that.
“Yep. Confession sure is a time… The things I’ve had to listen to.” Isabel shuddered. She had quickly learnt it was NOT a good idea to listen to horny teenage boys.
Jade nodded.
“Yeah, I don’t think I even want to know…”
“Anyway, I… I don’t know. My relationship with Spencer was… Tumultuous, to say the least. As I’m sure you already know.” Jade recalled. Isabel nodded. She had certainly heard that the two had had their ups and downs…
“When it started off, I didn’t think much at first. I thought it was just an alliance, a partnership. Something that was mutually beneficial for both of us. I told myself I wouldn’t get close to anyone out here, but… I don’t know. I guess at some point, the more time I spent with him, the more time I grew to… Actually genuinely liking him. And I think the moment I realised that was the hurt when he betrayed me at the merge. I know we both wronged each other, I know I was ready to throw him to the wolves right before the swap… But it still didn’t make it hurt any less. It was hypocritical of me, sure, but isn’t that in human nature?” Jade questioned. Isabel nodded, listening to Jade intently.
“...In any case, when I talked with him after he betrayed me, he told me we were… Just acquaintances, all done to better our game. And I realised I had thought we had a genuine friendship. Then I saw him start talking to Logan, and… Well, you know the rest. I just… Can’t help but think. After I eliminated him, I didn’t feel any sense of satisfaction, I just felt… empty. I couldn’t help but think, had I tried being more cordial with him, more open… Could we have fixed things? Maybe it wouldn’t have ended with us at each other’s throats. Being so hostile to one another, and maybe… Maybe he would’ve actually seen me as a friend, and not an adversary.” Jade sighed. Isabel nodded. Jade’s struggles… Made sense. She clearly hadn’t had many friends in the past, so… It was natural that she’d latch onto Spencer like that, right?
“Well… If you want my advice, Jade. I don’t think there’s any point on focusing on the what-ifs. All you can do is move forward, right? A reality show was never going to be the place to make friends. And in spite of that… We’ve managed to connect, haven’t we? If even two cutthroat players like us can connect in a cutthroat environment such as this, then… I think you can make up with Spencer. I’m sure, outside the game, you’d have a lot in common. And while I don’t know him well, I feel like he seeks friendship too. Talk to him again and I think you’ll find that he’d be more than willing to hear you out.” Isabel promised, putting a hand on her heart as she smiled at Jade, taking the women’s palms in her own. Jade smiled back at her warmly.
“Heh… Thanks, Isabel. Sorry for… Venting. I didn’t mean to push my problems onto you like that.” Jade apologised. Isabel shook her head firmly.
“Don’t be. After all… We’re friends Jade. And what are friends for?” She asked. Jade’s smile grew a little, and a sincere one at that.
“...Yeah. Their for helping each other out, aren’t they? If nothing… I think that’s what a friend really is.”
If only she could see Jade as a friend, too.