Work Text:
The night.
The night he spent thinking about the pink haired girl he shares nothing with. Maybe passion for art. Maybe...
He rolls on his other side, his bed narrow and cold, the Anakt is quiet at night, the bedrooms dark and serene, strictly divided. Everything is at place.
But he feels like his heart is not.
It melts in his chest, it turned into pink liquid that spills over his ribs every time he tries to gather himself and think rationally,
"Till..."
"..."
"Till..."
"..."
The grey haired boy was not answering any calls from his roommates, he was engulfed by his mind, tricked by sweetness of his memories about a certain pinkette with glasses and the most charming smile he ever witnessed in his short pathetic life.
'Till! Let's go, join in tag!'
'Can't lift it? Don't worry, I'm strong enough to carry anything!'
'Hmm? You blush a lot...'
'Mizi...'
"Mizi.." Till's eyes closed peacefully as he thought about his muse again, tomorrow he will try not to blush in her presence or maybe talk to her and share a bubbly chat... or play something for her... or try to spend time alone..? No, too risky, that brunette girl is always trailing behind Mizi, Till is a little afraid of her, he knows she is been quite famous before entering Anakt and quite arrogant now. For now he will just close his eyes and think about tomorrow.
—
"Why..." Till asks himself, as he watches the love of his life smile at another person, he isn't jealous, he's never been... Well, Mizi is popular amongst all Anakt boys but she never accepted their signs of affection and–
Why does Mizi look at that girl so lovingly? Why never at Till?
Till shakes his head, he looks down at the green grass; it always had calming effect on his nerves, and his nerves are easily burdened thanks sensory issues that led to expressiveness for which he is so valued by aliens, being punky and everytning... today grass was annoying.
Unnerving.
Alien...like it never belonged here, under their human feet. Wait– what was he thinking about?! Till shakes his head again and looks up again. Mizi smiled at the brunette girl again, she is...
Till suddenly remembered the lessons they had around few years ago when their puberty approached and the teachers started to introduce odd new topics. This is when they learned about 'reproduction'.
'Males and Females must mate, then produce offspring.
But the two must not be blood related for ensuring healthiest possible gene mix... And yet here we are,'
The teacher was sarcastis, referencing that in Anakt, many children were fruits of their owners' twisted tendencies aka had very not-mixed ancestry because of genes preservation. Till didn't know where he learned this information, really...was it–
Nah, that annoying guy! Well yeah, he taught a lot of strange things about Anakt to Till. That guy he always fights with, with bloody red eyes, who always followed Till around like some freak. 'Jerk' as he always called him in his head.
The young artist clutches his fists tighter, his hands involuntarily clench every time he's pondering, his heart beated slower now... he...
'Males and females must mate.'
'Humans must reproduce. This is why males and females exist.'
'Mating has sole purpose and it is producing new humans.'
The words echoed in the grey haired head as he contemplated them again, he was sure! Girl and boys, boys and girls, not the other way around! Right?!
Then why did Mizi smile at Sua like she hang the moon for her?! Girls should smile like that to boys, girls should walk around hand by hand with boys, not the other way around!
"W-why..." he whispered, his voice hoarse as he held out the wrapped gift for Mizi, he spent hours making this silly figurine he carved for Mizi–
"Thank you so much, Sua! Your gift is best," the boisterous chirp echoed through the vast space of Anakt yard, the two silhouettes moved in rhytm to each other,
Mizi hugged Sua, clutched the wrapped gift from the brunette and screamed how much it means for her, other sweet things Till couldn't(didn't want to) hear, his muse be absolutely over the moon because of a...
Purple eyed girl,
Girl.
Till could as usually shoo it away, say in his head 'They're such good friends, damn it' and shrug it off his restless mind, then go draw another silly drawing, then play on guitar, maybe watch birds or get into argument with some annoying brunette...
That guy...
Suddenly Till remembered his words,
'They don't think about us, they just want more slaves. They want us to believe that rules they set up. It's us and them. 'Us' is slaves.'
He literally fought with Ivan for these words, he...
No, why did he remember this?! He just saw the love of his life and some cold hearted girl hug... Mizi always says Sua is her best friend. Sua is always near Mizi. Mizi only has eyes for Sua, doesn't she? And where is Till in this equation? An equation Mizi made for Sua to solve, not for Till's grabby hands eager to impress Mizi and the teachers by solving the initially not meant for him equation. Even if Till solves it, the answer will always be wrong, because Till is not Sua, Till will never be Sua, Sua is the one Mizi has eyes for–
Sua is the one whose present Mizi accepts so geniunly smiling and crying out of joy, Mizi never told Sua that's not 'time' to talk or spend time together...
Did Mizi love Sua? But it's impossible! Women can only love men and men can only love men, it is how nature works, it is how it was designed!
What if it's not true? What if it's another propaganda the seygiens try to install?
Till was rebellious as hell, oh, he was, he NEVER believed seygiens, he hated his owner, he hated the system, he hated being here and all and all of this time, Tillmstill believed in nature! Because what else is real then?!
He stared at the girls before him and...realized.
'Mizi really loves Sua'
He said it himself, he muttered it under his breath and his brains thought about these words for serious, he admitted, confessed, uglily confessed into void that he knows it. He closed his eyes on proximity he envied between the girls he witnessed every single day of his life here.
But... 'men and women must–'
'Produce new slaves' Ivan's voice echoed in his mind as he thought about the lessons they were taught by seygiens, it's all,
Till looks down at his feet again, the grass tickles his bare feet, he grass that has red flowers around scattered like little riddles, like children here scattered around during outside playtime like when Till first saw Mizi.
He made art for her...he never ever made art for anyone else. Till's biggest passion was art; sketching, music, expressing complex thoughts and emotions bottled up in his chest through the offered tools, Till felt free when he created, imperfect, colorful, messy and punky and everything
Tears streamed down his pale smeared by few splotches of pink and green cheeks, no, no– he can't cry because of someone else gifting Mizi better present, no—
The ugly stream turned into a waterfall by the time Till turned away from the scene and ran. Ran off the landscape, ran past the curious classmates, ran away from prying eyes and cameras and flowers and every living organism.
—
"Are you crying?" The brunette boy leaned down to corner where the young artist sat curled, the formey was again annoying,
"Get off, jerk,"
"Hmm... as I expected, you always realized it, didn't you?"
"Shut up!" Till screamed on top of his lungs, his voice was hoarse, as his heart now, it was more of a roar.
"But it's true. She never even glanced at you, let alone accept your pitiful attempts at affection." Ivan smiles, his smirk is always so mysterious, maybe it's the shade of his eyes, ripe like berries sometimes at daylight and yet now at evening it resembled blood. Blood spilled on the seygiens rich elite circles' dinners.
Ivan straightens up and looks down at Till, his eyes cold. "Wipe your tears off, or I will have to do it for you,"
The remark definetly angered gray haired boy who looked up at the other and glared intensely like a wild animal encaged in aviary,
"What do you mean?!" He roared, the other boy's smile faded into a neutral expression, lips pursed thinly, he studied Till.
"I mean what I mean." Ivan deadpanned.
"Not an answer, jerk," the last word was said with strong emphasis, meant to bite, to instigate the univetable fight between the boys. It was normal, right? It's how boys solve their problems between each other. Males are territorial and all... Till knows it because it's what he witnessed, not because stupid lessons that just shaped everyone's minds here.
Ivan smiles, his smile too bright in this dimly lit space, somehow it lit up something far more than this gloomy space, the artist can't describe how ahd what it changed but...
His chest felt oddly lighter. Maybe because someone noticed his crying? Someone came after him? After the rebellious always bringing mess troublemaker? After a...boy who ran off so pathetically instead of facing the girl he loved so much?
"We all hurt here, Till,"
"Huh?" He tilts his head as he eyes Ivan again and Ivan crosses his arms behind himself and says,
"Once you stop crying, let's go do something together," Ivan turns away, heading to the doorway,
Till didn't have any force to reply with a counter-remark as he slumped down against a cold wall again, the present he prepared for Mizi on floor beside his feet, Ivan stops from turning away and crouches down to the wrapped box. Ivan takes it, grabs it greedily if you studied those eyes enough, "Interesting..."
"Do whatever with this useless piece of garbage."
"But it's made by you,"
"Apparently, my art is awful."
Ivan's eyes glistened with odd light as he turned to face Till again and put the box inside his pocket, that fuck had pockets in uniform and shoes and all these things somehow Ivan always got. Well, Ivan's father was a criminal but it's still odd...
"Your art is pretty."
"Shut up."
The door closed and the retreating fading souns of footseps reached his ears and he did want nothing but some time alone.