Work Text:
I sat there, with my head on my desk, arms wrapped around my head. I can’t do it. As I sat there, silently thinking, I heard a knock on my door. “Yes?”
“What’s wrong hyung?” I looked up and my best friend and colleague, Choi Minho came through the open door.
“Shut the door Minho, I have to tell you something.”
“Is it to do with Key?” I nodded.
“I erm, need to divorce him. I don’t think he loves me anymore- the romance has gone out the window.”
“Look Jonghyun, if you really love him, you gotta try. Or at least talk to him.”
“Every time I do, it just... doesn’t work.”
“What about Taemin?” Oh shit. I just forgot about my son.
“What about him?” I looked Minho in the eye for a moment before slumping in my chair.
“Shouldn’t you two stay together for the sake of your son? He is only young. You don’t want to screw up his life now do you?”
“No... I don’t...” I stood up, shoved all my documents into my briefcase and turned off my computer. “Minho, I’m going home. Tell Jim-soo that I’m going right?”
“Of course. Good luck hyung.”
“Thanks, I’m gonna need it” I walked out the office and made my way to the garage, where my car was parked. This is going to be so hard. I thought, as I sat inside the car and turned on the ignition. As soon as the radio came on, I cringed. Not him again. I can’t TAKE this guy. Turning off the radio I made my way home.
***
“Key, I’m home.” I yelled when I opened the door to our house, and dropped my briefcase in the hall.
"In the kitchen." I went over to the kitchen and saw my husband, making dinner.
"What's for dinner?"
"Bulgogi."
"Again?" I sighed and kissed Key on the cheek, and he leaned back ever so slightly and my heart sunk. "I'm... gonna go watch TV." I said and walked back over into the living room. Ugh, how am I going to break this to him?
Taemin came home about half an hour later, and I swung him around in my arms "Appa!"
"Taeminnie, how was your day today?"
"It was alright appa, I got lots of homework from Hyigon-noona, can you help me?"
"Of course my darling son, go and sit down and I'll help.
Taemin ran into the kitchen yelling "Ummaaaa!" I laughed, even though Key was Taemin's appa as well Taemin still stubbornly called him umma.
"Taeminnie." I looked around into the kitchen to see Key hugging Taemin tightly. Why am I jealous over my own husband?
"Darling it's dinner time." I looked at Key as if he was talking to me, "So go tell your appa that dinner's ready." That's the final straw. I'm telling him when Tae's gone to bed.
After an uncomfortable dinner Taemin finally went to bed, and Key came back down and collapsed on the sofa. "Key?" I began.
"Yes Jonghyun?" Key sounded weary, as if he had run a marathon and came home to do even more work.
"We... Need to talk." Key sat up sharply and winced.
"What now?"
"Erm... I think..."
"Get on with it Jonghyun." I took a deep breath and started agin.
"Key. I love you. But I want to get a divorce,"
"What?"
"I want a divorce." It seemed so easy to say it now, as the first time took a weight off my shoulders.
"Why?" He whispered.
I stayed silent.
"Why?" He said agan, louder and stronger this time. "Why. Do. You. Want. To. TEAR. This. Family. Apart?"
I stayed silent. I couldn't tell him the real reason. That I thought he didn't love me anymore.
Key's eyes started to tear up and he started crying. Really crying.
"I'm... Sorry. I really am. I just can't do this anymore. I'll have the divorce papers to you tomorrow." I could barely speak. It still hurt to see him like that. I had to push my feelings away. He doesn't love you anymore my mind kept repeating. You've got to get over him. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you.
***
Soon after Key sobbed his way into our- well I'm guessing now- his room. I made do with the guest room. After my mind refusing to shut down and sleep lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, I saw it was 4 in the morning. Sighing, I got up and stretched. "Another long day." I whispered. Here we go...
I said goodbye to Taemin and Key and left the house, making my way to work, with bags under my eyes and a back ache from sleeping on the nasty guest bed. "Morning Jonghyun-Hyung" Minho said as I walked into my office. "Minho-ah, come with me" Minho follwed in my wake and sat down on the opposite chair. "I did it."
"I can tell, you slept on the guest bed didn't you?"
"How do you know?"
"I've slept on that bed. I had a baaadd back ache the next day; I was just too nice to tell you." Minho attempted a joke but sobered up when he saw the look on my face.
"I have to make a contract."
For the next three hours we sat around my desk getting all the paperwork together and writing down all the stuff I was willing to trade. "Who gets custody of Taemin?"
"What?"
"Who gets custody of Taemin?"
"I did not think of that." I whispered. "I know he loves me, but he loves Key more. So I guess he does."
"What do you get out of this? A broken heart and nothing from your home. You made that together hyung. You can't throw that away."
"I have to Minho. He doesn't love me anymore."
"Do you want me to talk to him?"
"NO." I shouted, rising from my seat. Minho winced slightly and leaned back in his chair. *knock knock* "What?" I growled.
The door opened. "Sorry Jonghyun-hyung, I heard a shout. I just wanted to know if you were ok."
"I'm fine. No go." I snapped.
"Yes of c-course."
I rolled my eyes at the pathetic little boy, who was on his work experience for one of the other members of staff.
"You've got to be nicer to people Jonghyun-hyung."
"Whatever."
***
After another 5 more excruciating hours at work I went home to see Key. "Key, come in the living room a moment." A few seconds later he came in, looking even frailer than usual.
"What do you want now?"
"To discuss the contract." I had to remain business-like and cold. Otherwise I'd break down and beg him to love me again. "I am willing to let you have the house and everything that eblongs to you. And custody of Taemin. I get all my possessions, and the car."
"I don't want it."
"W-what?"
"I don't want it all. I want you to remember something. You remember our wedding morning after? You carried me out of the bed to the door. Every morning of our honeymoon."
"Yes.... but where are you going with this."
"My proposition. You do that again. For a month this time. Nothing more. Nothing less."
"But what about the other-"
"Forget about it. This is what I want."
"Why?"
"Because I want to. That is all."
"And after?"
"We'll get to that when the time comes."
"One more thing Key." I got up and made my way to the door.
"What now?" He sighed and looked up at me from the sofa with weary eyes.
"Can I sleep in our bed? The guest bed kills my back."
"Fine."
***
The next morning Key and I woke up, had our respective showers and I carried him down the stairs, quite clumsily. Taemin, who had just woken up as well, saw up and looked at us in confusion. "Whaa?"
"Don't worry love, just doing someting for umma." I realised, as I went down the stairs, that's Key's body was extraordinarily light.
"Don't tell Taemin about the divorce. Please." I nodded and continued my way down the stairs, only letting him go when we had reached the living room.
"Thank you."
"No... Problem."
Day One. Done
***
The next morning we did the same routine. Got up. Showered. Dressed, as I made my way to pick up Key like yesterday, we found an easier way to do it. I simply bent down (even down I was pretty short already) a bit more and swooped Key up behind the knees. As we made our way into the hall, Taemin jumped out of his bedroom to watch us again.
"Yaaay appa's picking up umma again, yaaay!"
We smiled at our clueless son and I made our way downstairs and let Key go at the door, before eating some breakfast, saying goodbye and leaving.
Day Two. Done
***
At the end of the week, we had gotten even better at the whole facade. Key leaned into my shirt and started making an effort with himself again. It was only then that I noticed that our marriage had started to take it's toll on his beauty. His beautiful feline eyes were sunken into his head a bit more, the colour in his skin became duller and his hair more weaker and less fuller. I didn't make a fuss though, as I started to let myself go as well. Not as much as him I thought. It became a routine. An unforgettable routine. Taemin came out to squeal with happiness, Key & I would laugh, I would go to work, a little bit happier.
Week One. Done
***
Gradually our intimacy returned during the second and third weeks. We began sleeping together, either with our arms brushing against each other, or on that rare night, Key would hold my hand as we slept. Key would sit next to me again on the sofa, no longer putting Tae betwen us. Key's body got better, I noticed as well.
That weekend, Taemin came into our room and started boucning on our bed. "Appaaaaaaaaaaa, it's timeeeeeee...."
"For what?" I muttered, still half way in unconciousness.
"To take Umma downstairs!!!"
"Of course!" I groaned. "Time to get up, umma." I winked at Taemin and shook Key awake. Still fast asleep. Come on Key, don't make me take you downstairs like you're dead weight.
I got out of bed and promptly walked over to Key's side of the bed, removed the covers and picked him up, even when he was fast asleep. Hmm I wonder... Taking a risk I leant down and pecked Key on the lips, which instantly Key's eyes opened slowly and widened at my mouth, still on his. After a few seconds, Key pushed me away slightly, with newfound pink colour in his dull cheeks. "What did you just do?" He whispered, only for me to hear.
"I woke you up." Since now me getting Key up was an essential part of our lifestyle, it seemed wrong not to do it anymore. I hugged Key tightly and could feel his ribs pressing against my torso. "My god, what happened to you? I can feel your ribs." Key ignored me and stroked my hair. What the hell? Why is he doing this?
Later that day, Minho came around to see how we were doing. "Hello Key-ssi, Jonghyun-hyung, I just wanted to grab Jonghyun for a while, business matters.
"Of course Minho-ssi. We're havig dinner at 6 o'clock tonight, feel free to join us."
"Thank you Key-ssi."
"No problem. Jjong, be back for dinner alright?" Key came over and kissed me on the cheek, and I could feel Minho's surprise next to me.
When we left, he rounded on me.
"What the hell?" He said, shocked.
"I know right? It started this morning when I kissed him; on the lips, to wake him up. He didn't get angry or anything. But Taemin was in the room. Do you think that had anything to do with it?"
"I don't know. But I can feel you to getting closer already. I really think that this whole 'bridal carrying' thing is a good idea hyung; I told you that from the beginning."
"I have this feeling that I don't want to divorce him anymore."
"Wow, you serious hyung?"
"As the plague."
We both started laughing and walked around the park a few times before getting coffee from the cafe and sitting down near the playground. "So how's things with your partner?"
"Oh we split up."
"Oh shit. I'm sorry."
"No no no... I... erm, found out that I'm gay. And I've met someone. From another department in the business. He works for the public relations side of it. His name is Lee Jinki."
"Nice... I've heard some rumours about him you know."
"Ooh what?"
"That his, you know, thing, is HUGE."
"Really?" Minho whispered.
"Yeah." I looked down at my watch. 5:15 it read.
"Oh shit."
"What?"
"We gotta get back now. I don't want Key to kill me when we just got friendly again!" We ran the rest of the way home, and opened the door laughing.
"Nice to hear that you two have had a good time."
"Oh we have, I've needed that. Do you need any help with dinner?"
"No I'm fine. You go talk to Tae, he wants someone to help with his maths homework. Poor boy, he's gonna need a tutor at the rate." Key's eyes darkened as if he realised something, but it went as quickly as it had come.
After Minho had left, we all settled down to watch a film and Key ahd situated himself in the midle of my legs. I started to play with his hair when I noticed that his hair began to fall apart in my hands. Cringing slightly, I put all the fallen hair under the sofa and stopped playing with it.
When the film had finished, Tae and Key had fallen asleep. I carried Key up to bed first, then Taemin. Collapsing on the bed beside Key, I lay there and decided to take a chance. Wrapping my arms around Key's waist, I pulled him close and spooned him, for the rest of the night.
Week Three. Done.
***
On the last day we all woke up, and I could feel that hanging feeling around mine and Key's heads. It all became clear to me as I carried Key one last time down the stairs. I love this man. I said that I would cherish him, love him, till death do us apart. Nothing will seperate us. Nothing at all.
So when I left for work, I immediately went to Minho's deska dn told himt he good new. "I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna divorce him." Minho gave me a huge grin in return.
"Told you it would work."
***
The day went by quickly, and I left work to go to a florist. Picking out a bunch of white lilies, I asked the lady to put a lovely pink ribbon around it and to write;
"I'll carry you out every day till death do us part"
I smiled at the nice lady, gave her a huge tip and ran out the door, speeding through traffic and finally. I got to the house.
Opening the door, I yelled, "Yeobo, I'm homee."
No answer.
"Key, my darling, where are you?" I walked into the kitchen, and found a handwritten letter in the bar.
"To Jonghyun," it said.
"The reason why I haven't answered, and never will is because I have been fighting cancer these past few months..."
"No..."
"I never stopped loving you. I hope you realise that. I made sure that Taemin only saw us together, laughing, being the couple we once was. Don't hate me for lying to you these past few months. I just didn't want your pity. I wanted to see your laughter and I got got to see you leave for work for the last time with that big goofy smile on your face. I got to say goodbye to Taemin. I got to see the people I loved for the last time.
Don't hate me, my darling, darling yeobo.
Forever Yours,
Key."
"NO!" I screamed at the top of my voice. I ran all the way upstairs and into our room, where Key had his arms on his abdomen, and a white suit already worn, his eyes shut in contentment and peace.
"No... No... This isn't possible. NO! Key. Key. Key. Wake up. Wake up. My darling, wake up. Don't leave me." I fumbled for the phone, and called Minho. "Yes Jonghyun-hyung?"
"Get over here. Now and bring Taemin. It's... Key." Minho didn't need to be told twice. When he and Taemin came in, I hadn't moved. As soon as Taemin saw Key, he screamed too, and ran over and started shaking Key. "Umma. Umma. Wake up. Wake up."
"Please no."
"Hyung."
"WHAT?! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT MY HUSBAND HAS JUST DIED? AND THAT I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THIS? Nothing.... Absolutely nothing..."
Week Four. Done.
***
***
Epilogue:
A few weeks later, Key's funeral date came up. I went with Taemin, my last remaining memory of Key. The closest people we knew came, and I couldn't stop crying, along with Taemin. We sat there, eyes red from all the crying, listening to pointless speeches about people who thought they knew Key.
"Life is never going to be same now is it appa?"
"No Tae, it won't ever be the same."