Work Text:
America looked at the thick photocard binder before him, flipping through the pages to admire the stickers plastered around the borders of each photocard, curated to match the aesthetics of each individual card. The cards featured beautiful pictures of South Korean idols. The camera had drunk them in, their glossy, black hair contrasting with pale skin and delicate, refined features.
South Korea folded his hands. “The combined revenue of my major agencies is over $700 million on the cards alone. They would be popular.”
America kept flipping through the pages. Some of the cards were too cute—he didn’t think he could pull that off. Others were bizarre. He saw a group holding pictures of bananas. Naturally, the men looked beautiful. He flipped the page.
“What do you think?”
“Would I have to hold a banana?”
“No, no,” South Korea assured. “Unless you’re interested?”
“No.” America squinted at a photocard of a woman being sprayed with water. That may be the most unique photocard in the entire collection. “Do you really think it could be pulled off?”
“Yes. We could produce photocards posing at your national parks, iconic landmarks—the possibilities are endless! There is no question of demand. Your citizens must be frothing at the mouth for any information from you. There hasn’t been too much word from you since the incident at the White House.”
“My president was so upset that I stood on the roof without permission,” America said offhandedly. “He’ll be mad if I release a line of photocards without asking him beforehand. What do you think will make him angrier, if I stand on Mount Rushmore or hold a banana?”
“Banana,” South Korea said.
“Don’t tempt me.” America closed the binder and passed it back to South Korea, who plucked it from the table and inspected it for damage. “Alright. Let’s do it. You’re in charge of the vision. I’ve got a camera somewhere around here that we can use.”
South Korea stopped him before he could begin searching. “No need. I have a crew.”
“You have a crew?”
“America, please. I am a professional. I have a crew. We will provide our own cameras. I will begin to work on the logistics—locations, number of cards, different sets …”
“Great. Let’s discuss fees?”
“This is my rate. But I’m willing to give you a discount if you’ll do a joint photo shoot with me.”
“Why not? We’re already in this together.”
They shook on it and began work immediately.
————
Three lines of cards dropped. The first, evoking nostalgia and time-honored traditions, portrayed America as a historical, handsome, and severe soldier, battle-hardened and dedicated to protecting the people of his nation. All proceeds from these cards went to supporting veterans’ organizations.
The second line had a more contemporary feel. The “Stand Up!” series featured America standing on top of objects and places, ranging from significant to insignificant. Each photo had its associated charity. Americans, anxious to have some understanding of their nation’s character or values, desperately analyzed each photo for what it might mean. One card featured America standing on a pipe. The back read: All donations to go directly to updating the worn pipes of Jordan, Montana. Another card featured a grinning America standing on the top of a wooden shelf containing cans of corn and beans. This card read: Funds directly to Leander, Texas, church for a community fridge.
The last line featured America holding a variety of fruit. Photocards of bananas, apples, and oranges flooded the internet. Common causes on the fruit cards were buying new trucks for smaller farmers, promoting educational programs for nutrition, and finding a volunteer to drive 95-year-old Mrs. Sommers from La Conner, Washington, to her doctor’s appointments. This line sparked intense debate among national organizations about the importance of their nation’s image, which could potentially be tarnished by further fruit-themed photoshoots. The small organization “Remember To Keep It Clean,” which promoted family values, vocally expressed its displeasure with its nation’s visual choices.
All three lines sold out within a day.