Archive of Our Own

Awaking to darkness, Brigitte first wondered if she had died. Her memory was quick to recall an impact. A flash. Just a moment of searing pain before she could remember no further. It sent her heart racing, as if she were truly reliving it.

She believed that sensation was what tipped her off — she was still alive. Then followed the consciousness of her breathing.

To test her new theory, she flexed her fingers. First the right hand, then the left. Finding her body responsive, she clenched her fists. Okay, it looked like her hands still functioned. She could work with that.

Next, she wiggled her toes. She was sure she could feel them, but she didn’t know if she could verify unless she sat up to feel around for her limbs. She wasn’t sure if she could.

Instead, she started with raising an arm.

“You’re awake!” gasped a voice, which brought warmth all the way down to what Brigitte felt as her toes.

“Hana?” she asked, knowing, but needing confirmation while still able to see nothing but pitch black.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Hana replied. There was a shake in her voice. A hand slid atop hers, clasping it gently. Brigitte frowned.

“Is everything alright?” she immediately asked, wishing to know what caused the threat of tears in Hana’s voice. Brigitte of course realized who the answer must be.

Instead of Hana, another voice responded. It was soothing, even as it delivered bad news. Almost maternal. Angela.

“I am happy to report that you will recover from your injuries.” That was a relief, but it sounded like an initial dodge around speaking the obvious. “Unfortunately, your eyes sustained serious damage and will need some time.”

Brigitte went tense. So this was the consequence of her actions this time. Never before had she considered the possibility that she could ever lose one of her senses entirely — even temporarily. “…and how long will that be?”

“Hopefully just one week. I do not need to keep you in the infirmary, so you are free to go about as normal. Ah, well—”

“Just a week,” Brigitte repeated to herself with an exhale. She shook her head. Now that she had a clearer picture, she could feel the slight pressure of the bandage wrapped around her head. “I can’t complain. I should consider myself lucky. Some people never get their sight back at all.”

She swallowed. It was petrifying, to think she couldn’t do anything without her vision. Her left hand felt around for the top of Hana’s.

“It’s okay, I’ll help you. You…ended up like this because of me, after all.”

Brigitte felt a chill up her spine as her memory became clearer. She had jumped in front of Hana, who previously had to exit a dangerously busted mech. Her armor would have been able to take a blow better than Hana could on her own.

Then there was the flash, and the searing pain in her eyes, and then darkness.

“And I’d do it again,” Brigitte said without hesitation, turning towards Hana. Immediately, she mourned not being able to meet her eyes. She felt Hana squeeze her hand, but she said nothing.

Brigitte bit her lip, sliding it between her teeth as she pondered her next request. “I’d actually like to get out of here, if that’s alright with you.” She was becoming more and more aware of how sterile the place smelled. The lights seemed to hum at the perfect frequency to be irritating. These were things she normally wouldn’t be so bothered by if they weren’t magnified to make up for her lack of vision.

“Yeah, let’s,” Hana finally answered. “Can you sit up and swing your legs over to the right, towards me?”

Brigitte confirmed with a grunt before carefully lifting herself upright and maneuvering her legs over so that her feet could find ground. The progress filled her with confidence, and she stood without being asked.

Just a bit too fast for a body that had been laying down for so long. She wobbled, but Hana caught her before she could lose her balance.

Standing now, she felt fear creep along her neck as she realized she had no reference to where she stood in the room. For all she knew, she could be in an open field. At least those stupid buzzing lights let her know she wasn’t.

“Oh,” she let out.

“It’s okay, just keep holding onto me.” Hana’s voice chased away the fear, at least for the moment.

“Don’t worry, Brigitte,” Angela’s voice came from in front of her. “I’m handing you a cane so you can help yourself around.”

Brigitte opened her hand to receive the handle of the aid. Suppressing nerves, she gave an experimental sweep of the area before her.

“I’ll get the hang of it,” she said, a small tremor in her voice. She felt Hana give her arm a squeeze.

“Alright, where to?”

Brigitte felt a growl rise in her stomach then, the kind that made you painfully aware of how empty it was.

“Let’s get you something to eat, then.” It was impossible to stop the blush that Brigitte knew blossomed across her face. She focused on following Hana as she took careful steps forward. Brigitte’s hold on Hana’s sleeve tightened.

She found her way to a seat in the mess hall without incident. Though she was sure the smell of warm food alone could lead her to the source, Hana made sure she did it without further injuring herself. And, Brigitte had managed to use her cane without tripping her companion with it. Maybe this was totally under her control.

Despite being in a safe place with the rest of the Overwatch agents, Brigitte felt vulnerable when Hana left her side momentarily. She clenched her hands around the edge of the table, shoulders tense as she waited for someone to sneak up behind her.

If anyone else was present, they left her alone. Hana, thankfully, announced her return by setting something in front of her. Whatever it was — a plate or a bowl — made a slight clink against the table’s surface. There was enough steam coming off of it to just warm her face.

“Sorry, it’s only some crappy instant stuff, but it’s better than nothing.”

Brigitte really didn’t care. Knowing there were noodles and broth awaiting her consumption made her stomach growl again.

She felt for the bowl with her left hand as Hana slipped chopsticks into her right. Her first attempt to get anything out of the bowl was a failure, but that didn’t stop her from giving it another go. It helped that Hana didn’t jump to tease her. Once she successfully stuffed some noodles into her mouth, another problem presented itself. 

“Ah, hot!” she exclaimed after the noodles fell back into the bowl.

“Shit, sorry. I can cool it for you—”

“No, no! It’s okay! It's not your fault. I can do it myself.” She found her noodles again and blew some air over them before taking the bite. No longer scorching hot, she couldn’t help a satisfied moan. Brigitte wasn’t sure whether it was her hunger that made a basic bowl of instant ramen taste so delicious, or the fact that she had no choice but to focus on the flavor as it hit her tongue.

Despite having to fish around for noodles she couldn’t see, Brigitte devoured her meal like it was her mission. When she finished, she only wished she had the capability of whipping up a batch of baked goods for herself to round out a good meal (if a cheap bowl of noodles counted as such).

A gentle hand found her chin, and she allowed Hana to tilt her face to better clean it with a napkin. Once again, Brigitte felt her cheeks go hot.

“Th-That’s okay. Th-Thank you, Hana,” she stuttered. Normally, this was treatment she would have given Hana whenever snack seasoning ended up settling in the corners of her mouth. It felt so strange to be on the receiving end. Almost…wrong.

“I’m not going to let you look like a fool with your face a mess.” A thumb gently traced her face — her cheek, right along the bandage.

“I hate that I can’t see you,” Brigitte blurted. She heard a small chuckle from Hana, but it was a laugh nonetheless. Now, it was her chest that was warm.

“Well, now you can’t try and fail to wax poetic about how pretty I am.”

“Hey! I just won’t compliment you anymore then, how about that?”

“Not possible.” She could feel Hana lean in, then. Something soft pressed against the tip of her nose briefly, which she concluded to be Hana’s lips. “Are you done eating?”

Brigitte thought for a moment before shaking her head. “I could go for another bowl.”

It was only after finishing a third that Brigitte realized her condition would cause a bit of a setback with her workout routine. That would have to be future Brigitte’s problem.

“Satisfied?” she heard Hana ask once Brigitte had set her bowl down for the final time. The amusement in her tone tickled Brigitte’s ears. She gave her an affirming hum. “What now?”

She shook her head. “I’ll go wherever you want to.” The words sounded way cheesier than she intended. Hopefully nobody heard that but Hana (though it was unlikely). It was embarrassing to show such dependence on her partner. Though, she was glad it was Hana. If it were Reinhardt, or her own papa, she would have felt even more like a child.

Hana was quiet before finally speaking up about wanting to spend time on some games in her room, which actually delighted Brigitte to hear. This time she insisted she could follow behind Hana just fine. Yet, she couldn’t help but reach for her shoulder while they walked.

It felt so nice to settle back down on a bed that wasn’t in the infirmary. Hana’s mattress was more comfortable. Even better, she could smell her soap and shampoo in the blankets. It was a gentle floral sort of scent  — a scent that got lost whenever Hana was in the cockpit, and a scent she missed when Hana self-isolated after a particularly brutal mission.

Normally she would watch whatever was happening on Hana’s screen, but she could only listen, so it seemed silly to turn her head. The clacks of the keys and clicks of the mouse were just what Brigitte needed to relax. This was normal. Mostly. She wondered if Hana would be willing to let her hear more.

The noises continued as a new weight displaced the mattress, causing her to yelp in surprise. She kicked her feet out instinctively to move away from the mysterious mass, only for her toes to come into contact with something furry.

“Mrrowr!?”

“Ah! Fika!” Brigitte gasped, bringing her legs back to their crisscrossed position. She didn’t hear the cat land on the floor, so she must not have been bothered all that much by her accidental nudge. She cooed her apologies to the cat. 

Brigitte swore Hana’s fingers ceased their movement for a beat.

If there was anything she was familiar with, it was the sensation of cat paws pressing into her thigh. Brigitte sat quietly as Fika found her way into her lap. Carefully, she slid a hand over what she hoped was the cat’s back. Fur, and the slight bump of a spine assured her that was what she was petting.

“That’s a good girl,” she praised the cat, chest warming at the purr she could just hear over Hana’s increasingly loud inputs.

Now with a cat in her lap, Brigitte found herself at peace despite her lack of sight. She began cataloging the sensations: Fika’s weight on her legs, the sleekness of her coat, the tickle of fur on her palm and fingertips, the low rumble of a pleased purr. Perhaps, when she had put her pen to paper, she had been too absorbed in describing the appearance of the animals that brought her such joy.

“You think Fika would make a good guide cat?” Brigitte playfully suggested. Hana snorted.

“Don’t get too ambitious now.”

Brigitte just giggled, continuing to pet the cat that pawed at her thigh.

“Hana?” Suddenly, the question she wanted to ask got stuck in her throat. The embarrassment rushed to her face in a wave of heat.

“Hm?”

“Oh, uh, it’s nothing. Just…”

“Just…?”

“I know you prefer playing with headphones, but…I was wondering if I could listen to the game audio too…?”

“Of course,” replied Hana, a softness to her voice. After a moment of pause, music started to play from the speakers on her girlfriend’s PC.

“And, uh…you can narrate a bit, if you want.”

“Oh, then I sure will.”

When night fell, Brigitte went to her own bedroom, still accompanied by Hana. She knew she’d sleep best in her own bed, and Hana didn’t mind sleeping there with her. Maybe Hana also liked smelling her in the bedsheets. But that was embarrassing to dwell on.

“Do you want to change before bed?” Hana asked. Brigitte nodded her head. She could hear her girlfriend move to rummage around for a comfortable set of sleep clothes. Hana’s selection was soon in her lap. “Should I help you?”

“I can do this part.” She could certainly remove her shirt and pants blind. Her shirt went first, quickly snatched up by Hana before she could chuck it away (probably a good call). She let her pants lay on the floor beneath her after sliding them off and extracting her feet.

Hana pressed fabric into her hand.

“Top,” she said. That made slipping into the tank top easier to navigate. Once she had her head and arms through, another item of clothing was thrust into her open hand without hesitation. After pulling the shorts on, she sat back down on the mattress with a sigh.

Brigitte spoke her thanks, extending an upturned palm in request of Hana’s hand. Upon feeling its soft touch, she gently pulled it in to give it a kiss.

“Hmmh, let’s lay down now,” Hana suggested, the happy hum in her throat sending Brigitte’s heart into fuzzy flutters. She did so without needing to be asked again.

She could hear Hana taking her turn to get into some sleepwear, which she tuned into intently. 

“Upset you can’t watch me change?”

Brigitte sputtered. “I-I wasn’t even—! The thought didn’t cross my mind!”

“So you don’t think I’m hot?” The pout was evident and most certainly playful, but Brigitte still protested, her voice stern.

“You know that isn’t what I meant to imply.”

Giggling, the other woman slid beside her and pulled the covers up over them. “I’m just messing with you.”

Brigitte only huffed in response. Once the flustered feelings in her chest died down, she pondered for a moment over whether or not to request a cuddle. No; Hana needed her sleep. The warmth at her side would be enough. Right?

It was Hana who broke the silence. “If you need help getting to the bathroom or anything, wake me up. Okay?”

“Yeah.”

After their exchange of murmured ‘goodnights,’ Brigitte was determined to fall into a cozy slumber. Instead, she found herself unable to sleep despite the cloak of darkness around her.

The soft breathing at her left side indicated that Hana had no issues falling asleep. Though she had told Brigitte to wake her for anything, she was determined to handle her restlessness herself.

Hana was a light sleeper, so Brigitte slipped out from under the covers slowly. Then, with careful movement, she felt around for the cane, which she had propped up against the wall beside the bed earlier. Wrapping her fingers around the handle, she maneuvered it out in front of her to find a clear path to the door.

Brigitte made it out of her room without causing Hana to stir — a success. She hugged the walls and felt her way to the place she knew she could find some solace.

It was no cozy home workshop, but while she was with Overwatch it was just enough. She didn’t bother finding the light switch — it wouldn’t have done her any good. She started to cross the room, cane sweeping the area to ensure she didn’t trip on anything that could be lying in her way.

After some fumbling around — without injury — she found what she was looking for: the place Reinhardt’s armor now rested, awaiting its repairs. She should apologize to her godfather for the abnormally long wait her condition would leave him with.

Brigitte was rather surprised at how well her nose could pick up the metallic scent of the armor. She outstretched a hand, coming into contact with the chill of the chestplate. She traced her fingers over it, taking note of the divots and chips where it had sustained damage. Hopefully most of it was superficial, but knowing how busted Tokki ended up in the recent scuffle, she knew it likely wasn’t true.

“What are you doing in here?”

Brigitte jumped, turning towards the source of Hana’s voice.

“I, uh, couldn’t sleep. Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No, but you should have.”

“I’m not going to interrupt your rest just because I couldn’t get any myself.”

She heard Hana’s sigh before she heard her approaching footsteps. They stopped somewhere else in the room.

“Is that where Tokki is?” Brigitte asked.

“Yeah. You weren’t the only one to take a hit for me, remember?”

Brigitte bit her lip. She heard the familiar noises of a hand rummaging through a toolbox. “Can I help?”

Her offer was met with a long pause. She wondered if Hana was giving her some sort of look. It was a rather silly thing for her to say, given her current impairment.

“...if it’ll make you feel better to help, you can come hold some things for me.”

Brigitte was happy with that answer. She made her way closer to Hana with her cane and settled on the floor. Being able to hand her girlfriend tools helped her feel useful. The sounds of Hana’s tinkering were just as soothing as the clacks of her keyboard, maybe even more so. This wasn’t the first time the two of them had met in this room late at night, both unable to sleep.

“Why did you do it?” Hana suddenly asked.

“Eh?”

“Jump in front of me. Were you being reckless in search of some glory in battle, or something? Be the hero who saved D.Va so she could live to fight another day?”

Her mouth fell into a frown. “What do you mean? Of course I did it to save you, Hana. I…” She swallowed. “It may have been reckless, but I did it because I couldn’t imagine a life without you. Especially if I could have prevented it.”

Hana had stopped moving, and it made her uneasy. Relief washed over her when she heard the shift of fabric. A hand rested upon her knee.

“Sometimes, I forget there are people who still see me as Hana.” The hand moved to gently cup her face, a gesture that Brigitte leaned into. She pressed a kiss to Hana’s palm.

“Of course I admire D.Va, but it’s Hana I fell in love with.” Another kiss. She tasted metal on her lips, but she could still smell the floral scent that lingered on Hana’s skin. “Don’t forget that.”

“Ever the poet, Brigitte Lindholm.” Brigitte melted into bashful giggles at that. Another silent pause. Without a face to watch in these moments, she was left on edge. But Hana hadn’t pulled away. “You’re a total stubborn ass sometimes, you know that?”

Brigitte pouted. “I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“Can you rely on me a little? Let me actually take care of you without you running off in the middle of the night? Earlier, you flinched away from me just trying to wipe your face. I’m not trying to baby you, you know.” It was true; she resisted relying on Hana. If she had needed to take a trip to the bathroom, she knew she wouldn’t have woken Hana up for that, either.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to take care of me.”

“It’s not that. I want to. In my own selfish way, I want to be needed by you.” A pause. “...Hana wants to be needed by you.”

“I hear you,” Brigitte assured, her hands finding her girlfriend’s waist. She could feel Hana’s breath warm her nose; her face was close. Brigitte tipped her head up, inviting Hana in for a kiss — an invitation eagerly accepted.

Hana suggested they return to bed then. Brigitte kept it to herself, but she could hear how tired Hana was even before she yawned on the way back.

There was still warmth preserved in the sheets when they snuggled beneath them. Brigitte let out a long sigh, easing her back into the mattress and willing her muscles to relax.

“Please, let me know if you need anything,” Hana told her once more before pressing a kiss to her cheek and settling back down beside her.

Brigitte spoke after a moment. “Actually,” she said, “there is one thing.”

“Hm?”

“I’d like to cuddle.”

“Now that’s what I like to hear.” There was a hint of the playful peppiness in her voice that she normally amped up for her viewers. Brigitte giggled as it sent a fuzzy feeling of utter adoration through her.

She felt Hana press into her side and drape an arm over her. A comfortable weight settled on her chest.

“My big strong knight.” Brigitte responded to that with a happy hum.

Brigitte then wrapped her own arm around the other woman, slipping her hand underneath fabric to feel Hana’s warmth directly. She couldn’t help but glide her fingers over the soft skin of Hana’s back. While tracing shapes along her shoulderblades and down her spine, she took note of the bumps and dips of scar tissue, mapping them out in her mind. D.Va had many stories to tell, and here, Hana bore their consequences.

Brigitte couldn’t mend them like she could with the dents and divots in Reinhardt’s armor. She hoped, however, she could at least soothe the pain they caused.

A small snore came from the woman in her embrace. Brigitte smiled to herself. It wasn’t often that Hana could fall asleep so easily. Brigitte muttered a good night, finding the top of her head with her lips for a quick kiss.