Chapter Text
There aren’t many things capable of getting Eustass Kidd excited. His life is relatively monotonous, set in a shitty neighborhood on the outskirts of the New World; the kind of place where, if you leave the house, you have to watch your back. He shares a miserable apartment with Killer, his best friend. They grew up together, and he’s the only one Kidd truly trusts.
Kidd is impulsive, easily irritated, and when he gets truly pissed off, he stops thinking. He knows his flaws and has never done much to curb them, after all, in that neighborhood, they’ve come in handy more than once. People are too afraid of him to bother him, which is always a good thing. Kidd tends to have that effect both in person and online, most people look away when facing him or try to avoid crossing his path altogether.
That neighborhood is a shithole, crawling with opportunists and every kind of human dreg, and he asserted himself from day one. Even in a society like theirs, where the vast majority of life takes place online, you still have to go out from time to time, and it’s better to let the neighbors know immediately who they’re dealing with.
Kidd knows he has issues, but at the same time, he’s proud of that side of his character. It’s thanks to that that he survived on the streets. If he weren’t so resolute, with both words and fists, he would have died years ago. He probably would have met the same end without Killer, too. Kidd can handle himself, he knows how to impose himself on others and carve out his place in the world, but the brains of the duo is definitely his best friend.
Kidd doesn't want a banal life like all the other idiots. He doesn't want to waste his existence working for some sleazy entrepreneur in an online-managed firm, with an augmented reality headset constantly strapped to his head. He won’t spend his remaining years (and there are plenty left, dammit, he’s only twenty-three) busting his ass for someone else's profit in exchange for a few coins to spend on essentials and questionable software for entertainment.
He’s seen every kind of shit on the web. He and Killer have the entire building’s network under control, they know everything. They know the jobs of the whole neighborhood and exactly what those people do to amuse themselves in their spare time. In hindsight, he’d have preferred to stay in the dark about some things.
He’s certainly not like that disgusting old man downstairs who spends his entire salary on an erotic simulator featuring little girls, nor like the "kind" lady on the first floor who entertains herself by torturing and disemboweling hyper-detailed clusters of pixels in AR. Kidd is prone to violence, but what he saw made his stomach turn. That woman is a fucking psychopath, even by his standards. He’s definitely not like her, but he’s not like the ‘normal’ ones either; the ones who just work online, fuck online, game online, and live online until someone, drawn to the apartment by the stench, finds nothing but a corpse.
The web offers much more tempting alternatives, but they are also much, much more dangerous. Kidd has never been the smartest person on earth, but even he realizes how risky piracy is and that, without Killer, he’d have been dead a long time ago. A malware, a virus, or a security lockout would have fried his brain on the first or second attempt without his best friend’s IT skills and quick reflexes. Together they are a good team, the brawn and the brains, and they work well.
At the moment, unfortunately, they aren't engaged in anything important. Their bank account - encrypted and routed through one of those dark databases Killer is so good at finding - is still full. It was from their last big score: hacking into a construction company’s OS and diverting incoming payments before they even hit the company's account. Banks are well-protected, rumors say someone managed to bypass their locks, but there’s no real proof. Even if one or two people did it, the list of those who died trying is endless.
There are, however, less risky but still functional methods. You just have to intercept the money while it’s mid-transaction and steal every last cent before it reaches the recipient. Kidd and Killer always choose government-affiliated firms, they have their own morals. They certainly don't steal from those who create software using only their own skills, or from people struggling to stay off the grid and survive despite everything. It’s satisfying to snatch their profits, but it’s never enough, it’s never perfect.
Kidd wants it all. He wants to set the city on fire, topple the government, and watch the banks and the entire system collapse in on itself. He wants to personally put a bullet in the heads of those bastards in the high-rises, and he wants to do it in reality, because those sons of bitches aren't like normal people, they have enough online protection to make any virtual assault useless.
He knows this because he has a goddamn, absurd, insane acquaintance who attacked a Celestial Dragon, hitting him square in the face with a punch. Kidd didn’t even think it was possible. He thought their disgusting online auctions were so well-controlled and protected that... who knows, he expected a fucking barrier to appear or some similar bullshit. But no, the punch hit that bastard right in the face, and the news was all over every paper for months.
He doesn't know how Luffy and his group managed to disconnect in time after something so high-profile. Kidd is still in disbelief, but it’s likely that pure luck, combined with the element of surprise, played a part in the whole thing.
Unfortunately, however magnificent the scene was to watch (it went viral instantly on the deep web) the Celestial Dragon suffered no damage in reality. The government made sure to emphasize that, highlighting how the actions of a madman couldn't cause real repercussions, showing the smug, disgusting face of that noble on a live feed.
Kidd wants to do something like that, but bigger. He wants to take them down one by one in person, not online, starting with the regular cops, moving through the fucking nobles, all the way up to that prick Akainu, and make them pay. He wants to overturn the system with his own hands, spit in their faces and show them he’s still alive, that fifteen years ago the police didn’t do their job well enough, and that he’s there for his revenge. He wants to see them beg, and even then, he won’t spare them. Not a single one of those bastards.
Unfortunately, for now, it remains just a daydream. Throwing himself into a suicide mission would lead to nothing good (he always hears these words in his mind in Killer's voice). He has to wait and weigh every move, something he isn't very good at.
There’s absolutely nothing to do today. They don’t need money, there’s no stupid government website to crash - a favorite hobby for most pirates, and too often he and Killer get beaten to the punch - and no interesting livestreams to watch.
The day started in total boredom, which is exactly why Kidd decided to put on his AR headset, connect the sensors and electro-stimulators to his body, and spend some time online. It’s still better than the alternative: crashing on the sofa and getting drunk.
Kidd isn't a man of many interests. He doesn't like reading and quickly loses interest in video games or those interactive movies that haven't been "new" for at least ten years. He generally tends to get distracted easily, and being tech-savvy, software bores him quickly.
He tried downloading some illegally, sex sims have always been popular and easy to find, but after a while the women and men always repeat the same phrases, they always have the same combinations of physical attributes, and there’s a fictional foundation that’s hard to ignore. He really doesn’t understand how people get obsessed with that stuff.
The perfect solution is always the most cliché, obvious, and old-school one: online chats, where you can find someone who isn't just a set of data points mashed together. The avatars are still idealized, flawless, the improved version of the person behind the screen, but they are still less fake. He can’t expect too much: he himself, while scanning his body and face from reality, makes a few "upgrades." His avatar has both arms, not just one, and sometimes he even removes the facial scars, since he can't know the tastes of the person he’ll meet in advance.
It’s a hobby fueled by boredom, but it always works well. That’s why he now finds himself with his head between the legs of a girl whose name he’s already forgotten, intent on licking her labia and moving up to the clitoris, lingering there to hear a moan louder than the others, and maybe even a scream of pleasure.
She’s a beautiful girl, definitely enhanced by software, but not overly so. Kidd has spent enough time on the web to recognize what’s been retouched and what hasn't. Her breasts are a bit too perfect, though still pleasant to hold, but her thighs aren't quite that firm. He likes them better that way; at least they’re soft to the touch and don't feel like the plastic of virtual women programmed in specialized software.
He has a few hours of fun planned, he’s only just started. They are in a virtual room equipped with a bed, two nightstands, and little else. There’s also a wardrobe. Years ago, he used to enjoy opening furniture only to find it empty and poorly programmed, looking for flaws, but by now he’s used to that kind of thing, he doesn't even look. He doesn't care about hyper-realism, but it bores him to find something obviously poorly made, and you can’t expect much from chat rooms. Might as well just focus on the other person, take a few hours of fun and all the physical satisfaction you can get from this kind of thing, and then head back to reality.
The girl beneath him is arching on the bed, her fingers clutching the sheets, and Kidd decides to give her more. He wets two fingers with saliva before bringing them between her legs, parting her labia. He sinks them in slowly, a choked moan fills the room, and right at that moment, a message arrives.
Kidd freezes for an instant. It’s always a strange sensation. He’s not physically in that room, but at the same time, he’s wearing the headset, and sensors cover his body. Augmented reality is always realistic, and checking a message at that exact moment causes a kind of sensory split. It’s like being, and at the same time not being, in the room with that girl.
On any other occasion, Kidd would just ignore any call, message, or email, but seeing the sender stops him.
Strawhat is Luffy’s nickname, and Luffy is that walking absurdity who punched a fucking Celestial Dragon. It’s not that common to get a message from him, the other pirate is always busy with something, whether it’s hacking a server, messing around online, or spending hours on a video game with the rest of his crew. Sometimes Luffy has mentioned real-life activities, but without giving anything away. Practically no one does, the risk of being intercepted is too high.
Kidd reads the message, momentarily diverting his attention from the girl and her warm, spread-eagled thighs. He frowns.
Heyyyyyy Jaggy! Guess what?! I finally found Torao!! I’m sure you’d want to know
“...who?” he asks aloud.
The girl beneath him blinks and props herself up on her forearms. “What?”
“Nothing, just a message,” he replies dismissively, racking his brain. That name means absolutely nothing to him, but considering Luffy made up a nickname for him without any reason or request, it’s likely he did the same for someone else.
Who? he types into the chat, his hand moving rapidly over the holographic keyboard in front of him. His avatar in the room with the girl does the same in reaction, and she huffs loudly.
Come on, Torao I can’t say his real name, right?!
Kidd scowls, he’s starting to get irritated. At least tell me the fucking nickname, he types. How does Strawhat expect him to figure it out on his own with a name he’s never heard before, probably invented three minutes ago by Luffy himself?!
Oookay Even though Nami always says not to say anything important in messages… Heart! I found Heart
Kidd is left completely speechless in front of the chat. Did he hear that right? What the fuck?!
“So, do you want to keep going or not?” the girl interrupts, her tone sharp. “If you’ve got other things to do, we can set something up for another time, or-”
Eustass Kidd doesn't let her finish. He simply disconnects from the room, leaving her there without another word. Maybe she’ll think it was a connection issue, or maybe she’ll curse him out, but it doesn't matter. He can find another one anytime in one of the many chatrooms available on the web. He exits the application without a second thought, despite the erection still straining in his pants. His dick can wait, there are much more important things to focus on.
He opens the chat full-screen, without taking off the headset, even though he no longer needs it. He rereads the lines, and they are exactly the same as before. He hasn’t misunderstood.
During an encrypted conversation in an abandoned room found by Killer in the depths of the deep web years ago, he and his best friend had a "face-to-face" meeting with the Strawhats. They seemed completely insane to him, every last one of them.
“What do I want? To flip the system and become the best pirate anyone’s ever seen!” Luffy had declared that time, with a smile so wide it split his face in two.
Kidd had told him to get in touch as soon as he tried something concrete, without really believing it. That naive-looking kid isn't as harmless as he seems, Eustass has enough experience to say that for sure. He isn’t stupid, and he’s seen what Strawhat is capable of with his own eyes.
But overturning the system? Getting to the top floors? That’s another matter entirely. That’s a fucking dream, as grand as it was unrealistic.
He had dismissed Luffy’s words as the fantasies of a kid, just another brat with a superiority complex and too much bullshit in his head who hadn't experienced the government's violence firsthand and thought he could destroy them online just because he had a great navigator and a well-trained crew backing him up.
A week later, Luffy punched a fucking Celestial Dragon in the face, leaving Kidd completely speechless and confirming that first impression: completely out of his mind.
The problem isn't just the web. Strawhat should have realized that after exposing himself like that against a noble, gaining nothing but notoriety and a bounty on his head.
But no. Luffy had contacted another fucking Supernova. Luffy had found the goddamn Surgeon, the one who appears on the web without ever showing his face or identity, a ghost hiding behind a grinning logo. Judging by the nickname given to Heart, which must have come from somewhere, Luffy had managed not only to contact him but had discovered his name as well. What the hell did it mean, specifically, that he had found him?!
“What the fuck...” he repeats aloud, completely stunned.
Another Supernova. Another fucking Supernova.
Is Luffy actually trying to do something real, and Kidd just hasn't fully realized it yet, or is that guy just a walking absurdity and a constant source of surprises?