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The bookstore was a safe space. It was a place he could go any time of day or night, thanks the owner’s vehement insistence on 24-hour-7-day-a-week open policy, whenever the pressures of the real world set in. The bookstore provided a break from school, from the crushing weight of monthly bills, from the worries of Yancy’s health even all these years after the incident; it was a world of its own that calmed even the day’s worst panic attacks.
That’s how Raleigh found himself frequenting the local community bookstore at least four times a week. The quirky owner (named Newt of all things, although not like he or Yancy could talk much) had taken notice of his frequent visits and often called a friendly if somewhat spastic greeting over the counter whenever he came in. It also helped that the owner’s not-quite-friend Hermann (another gem, honestly) had set up a coffee stand in the back of the store. As an insomniac, he knew full well to avoid that kind of caffeine. But after just one friendly conversation, Hermann had taken it upon himself to stock as much tea as coffee on his stand, so Raleigh felt obligated to come back.
Didn’t mean the tea wasn’t fantastic.
So perusing the new arrivals of the store with his own personal mug steaming a welcome, calming smell had become a ritual of his. Occasionally, his brother’s prosthetics still acted up, so he tried to avoid being away from home as much as possible; the bookstore was his one exception to that. It helped that some days, he could pick from the shelves a book that had his brother grinning from ear to ear upon his return.
Yancy liked books filled with big-action scenes, war heroes, bloody history – Raleigh was aware he loved stories containing basically anything exciting that he was now robbed of. Fiction was his go-to, even if he did enjoy the occasional non-fiction based-on-a-true-story hero tale. So he had to put up with the liberal amount of teasing that came when he pulled out his own books from the store; usually something sci-fi related. Yancy loved making fun of his ‘big ol’ nerd little brother’, and Raleigh was too good to deny him this pleasure.
Only too good to his brother, that is. Everyone else found out the hard way that he didn’t take shit from just anybody.
One such patron found out on a casual Tuesday.
Raleigh’s eyes swept over the shop’s newest table, advertising some kind of best-selling non-fiction novel titled War and Crimes. Definitely something Yancy would love. It’d been about a week since the last novel, and since the weather had turned colder and rainy, Raleigh figured his brother would appreciate something to take his mind off the aches that resulted from the weather change. He made a mental note to pick up a copy and continued to the rest of the new books.
An unfamiliar face stood between him and the sci-fi section. A handsome face under what looked like slightly ginger bedhead. The strong jaw, locked in deep thought as the guy browsed the non-fiction, was covered in a light amount of light ginger stubble. Strong jaw and strong chest and arms from what he could see under the stock gray t-shirt, yet the guy couldn’t have been much older than twenty-one or twenty-two.
As much as he wanted to stand and ogle the unsuspecting patron, he had to get back to Yancy. As politely as he could muster, he said, “Excuse me. Could you reach me that book on the top shelf?”
Mistake. Ginger reached up on tip-toe without looking and pulled the book down by tipping its spine. Once in his grasp, he glanced at the cover and froze. A small smirk tugged at perfectly kissable lips, until the guy looked up. He gave Raleigh one of the most thorough up-and-down glances he’d received in ages before the grin threatened to split that stupidly handsome face. Dimples appeared, but instead of detracting from the predatory gaze of what had to be a bully catching a potential scent, they made the glance all the more feral.
“Really, mate?” He sneered, and okay, there was definitely an Australian twinge to that sneer. Handsome and mysterious, and apparently the only douchebag in the store; just his luck. “Wouldn’t have pegged you for a nerd. Guess appearances can be disappointing.”
Before he’d even thought through and accepted the decision to do so, Raleigh stood taller, threw what Yancy considered his meanest right hook, then angled both hands forward to shove the jerk as hard as he could. There it was; the old aggression he’d been so well known for, coming back out. His brain caught up with the motions just as the jerk’s back connected with – shit – the best-seller table he’d been scoping for Yancy. The flimsy structure crumbled under the guy’s bulk immediately. A string of colorful curses, half of which he was sure was barely English, shattered the otherwise silent atmosphere of the bookstore.
He had also done his fair share of underestimating apparently as he noticed that the guy popped right back up, steeling both his expression and solid frame in preparation for retaliation.
Shit. He didn’t intend to start an all-out brawl in the middle of the quiet bookstore.
Fortunately, all the noise attracted the store’s owner, who would no doubt break up the fight.
Unfortunately, Newt was less than pleased at that prospect. “Are you guys kidding me?!” He practically squeaked like an overexcited Chihuahua. “What do you guys think this is, some kind of boxing ring?? You! Take it outside!” He pointed an accusatory finger at the ginger Aussie, who was still unmistakably in a fight-not-flight response. “No, take it permanently outside!” Upon hearing Raleigh’s snickering, he added in exasperation, “You too, chuckles!”
Double shit. Raleigh glanced ruefully at the cluttered copies of the non-fiction war novel littering the floor. Yancy would have loved those, he bet, and now…
Just something else he ruined.
The jerk turned with an angry huff and stormed out of the store. Raleigh made to follow at what he considered a safe distance. He was ashamed, he was tired, he was lamenting the loss of his fresh tea, and he wanted to go home and sleep.
But, just his luck, there was one more disaster to hurdle before he could crawl into his bed and listen to stories of Yancy’s day.
Giant-Australian-Jerk was parked behind him, boxing him into the parking space. Fuck his life.
He tried to ignore the glare threatening to burn a hole into the back of his already-worn jacket as he half-limped toward his car and made to unlock the door.
“Oi!”
Raleigh looked up from his aborted gesture with a sigh. “What?”
The guy was rubbing that strong jaw, but instead of looking downright pissed, he seemed… more impressed than anything, actually. “You’re lucky that twig in skinny jeans was there.”
He swore his eyes were making a beeline for the back of his head, not just rolling. “You really wanna continue this in the parking lot? I don’t think the pavement will be as nice to you as those books were.”
More surprise showed on that handsome face, as if he hadn’t expected Raleigh to be as much of a dick as him.
If that’s what he wanted to see, Raleigh would give it to him.
“Look, I’ve got better things to do than trade insults with a teenager.” Raleigh wrenched the door open with more force than it deserved. “Gave that shit up in high school. So, if you wanna do me a favor and get the fuck out of my way—”
A slight flush crept up the Aussie’s neck, but it seemed to be a result of anger, not embarrassment, as the guy spat back, “Yeah, wouldn’t be much of a fight now, eh? Seemed like you strained yourself with that little shove. Gotta get home and get your crutches?”
That stung. Raleigh slammed the door shut with noticeable force and turned to face the jerk, even if everything in him was screaming not to. Light blue eyes stared challengingly back at him as Raleigh took two uneven steps toward him. Limp or not, the kid would soon find he had no problem finishing what he started.
“No. I’ve got to go home to explain to my honorably-discharged brother why I don’t have the latest novel to distract him from the growing pressure-change aches in his prosthetics. Because we haven’t given enough for this country – no, we can’t even browse the local bookstore free to enjoy our preferences. I’ll make sure to tell him it’s because of the limp.”
He was well aware that the anger he was now spouting at the guy was directed not only at him, but at everyone for how they’d been treated since being honorably discharged from the military years ago. He was basically back to full health, and Yancy was better than originally predicted, so they should be grateful. But the regular taunts and insults and instances of “cripple!” called their way made it difficult most days to be grateful. It wasn’t fair, but if there was one thing the two of them had learned, it was that life was anything but. So instead of waiting for a response, Raleigh turned, re-opened the door, and, rather than waiting for the kid to move, turned the ignition and jumped the curb back to the street, leaving the kid standing behind his car.
Yancy, of course, hadn’t even known that he’d planned on picking up a new novel, so he wasn’t disappointed upon Raleigh’s return. He did, however, immediately notice that something was off. Raleigh shrugged his concern off, claiming it was just exhaustion from his full class load, and retreated to his room. He didn’t avoid Yancy often, but the thought of reliving the events of the day to tell Yancy the story made his stomach churn.
So he was surprised when his brother was already awake the next day when he stumbled into the kitchen at ass-o’clock to prepare for his early class.
The prosthetic leg and arm were already in place. Raleigh wondered briefly if his brother had slept in them. Yancy’s good leg was propped casually up on one of the kitchen chairs, his tall frame slouched low in his own as he flipped disinterestedly through the newspaper.
“Uh, Yance…?”
“Sit.”
The short response was unlike the older Becket. Raleigh dropped into the nearest chair, still rubbing sleep from his eyes, as Yancy gestured to the cup of tea on the table that he hadn’t even noticed. He dragged the cup closer by the handle and savored the warmth in his hands.
Yancy finally glanced at him over the newspaper. “What’s wrong, kiddo?”
“Nothing.” Shit, the response sounded wrong even to him. Yancy cocked one eyebrow up, so Raleigh relented. “Just some bullshit an asshole said at the bookstore yesterday. Honestly, Yance, it doesn’t matter.”
“Some bullshit, huh?” Yancy fiddled with his own mug. “Some bullshit about our… conditions?”
Raleigh sighed. He hated when Yancy referred to himself in that way. Like there was something wrong with him, like he didn’t have the ability to recover even more than he already had. “It was nothing. Just a stupid moment.”
That knowing, older-brother look remained in Yancy’s eyes. “So, you hitting the bookstore again today?”
His mouth opened and then closed. Shit. Caught again. Better to come clean now than later, they were always taught. So, Raleigh did. “Some guy at the store called me a nerd, so I shoved him into a table of best-sellers. Newt banned us from the store. The jerk tried to start more shit in the parking lot, but I shut him down.”
Yancy looked like he wanted to laugh, but instead let out a soft, “Rals.” Despite what happened, Raleigh maintained that Yancy was still the strong Becket. That’s what made the disappointment and softness etched across his features all the more painful to see. “You loved that place. You didn’t have to…”
“Didn’t have to what, Yance?” It was too early in the morning, but he couldn’t help the anger that rose like bile in his throat. “Didn’t have to stand up for myself? Didn’t have to stand up for you, for all you gave? Fuck, Yance, you’re the only one that gets to…”
To what? Be a dick to him? That sounded pathetic, but Raleigh knew the two of them only joked as brothers did. It felt normal, was normal. Anyone else saying the same kinds of things was a different story.
“Yeah, but Raleigh…” Yancy trailed off, rubbing his jaw in thought. “People are going to be assholes. People always have been, and people always will be. That shouldn’t stop you from enjoying things you like.”
“It shouldn’t stop you, either.”
The older Becket looked shocked at Raleigh’s response. It was something they didn’t talk about; after his first time going out into public and all the staring that inevitably followed, Yancy didn’t leave the apartment for months afterward. The healing burn marks and newly scarring skin drew enough attention as it was, Raleigh knew that much personally, but that coupled with the missing limbs…
“I know how hard it is to go out, Yance, but…” Raleigh paused and swallowed with difficulty. Walking his brother through this conversation was like walking through a mine field with a blindfold on. He hadn’t expected this so early in the morning, but he’d been meaning to have this conversation for some time. “We need to move on with our lives. You need to move on with yours. It was difficult, but I started. And it was worth it, okay? Forget the jerks; forget the assholes. All that matters is you and me, right?”
To his surprise, Yancy’s brilliant blue gaze met his. “When did you become the smart one, kid?”
Raleigh flashed his easy grin. “When you sent me back to school. Don’t worry, old man, it’ll come back to you faster than you think.”
“Okay, kid.” Yancy nodded in acceptance. “We’ll make some changes around here. In the meantime, try to talk to Newt. Guy’s pretty understanding when his store’s not getting thrashed, from what I hear.”
So after class that day, Raleigh dragged his feet all the way to the community bookstore. The nagging anxiety that had followed him the whole way was just barely outweighed by his love of the books and his need to purchase Yancy that new war novel. Sure, he could probably purchase it off Amazon, but it was the novelty of the purchase. Besides, after watching Yancy fill out and send in an application to the local community college, he figured it was the least he could do.
The familiar “Hey, welcome to—” started off strong, until Newt glanced up at him walking through the door. Raleigh braced himself as the owner practically vibrated over to him. “Hey!”
Raleigh put his hands up as a sign of submission. “Look, man, I’m sorry about yesterday. I lost my cool, but I promise it won’t happen again.”
To his surprise, Newt flashed him an easy-going smile that was all teeth. “No worries, man, your friend already explained it all earlier. You’re good.”
“My – what?” He couldn’t stop the surprise that colored his response.
“Chuck. The angry red Aussie you took down? He described the misunderstanding this morning. Even paid for the table to be replaced.” Newt returned to the desk and rustled around before he stopped and added, “By the way, he left this for you.”
He accepted the package Newt handed him warily. What the hell was this, some kind of Australian prank? He was sure the jerk didn’t do anything out of the kindness of his heart, if their interaction yesterday was any indication. It was a simply wrapped package, most likely with postage paper. Raleigh tore into it with trepidation and was startled by what was inside.
It was a wrapped copy of the non-fiction book he’d been eying for Yancy. One of the ones that the jerk hadn’t crushed with his back, it seemed. Raleigh turned it over in his hands slowly. The paper had simply, “From Chuck”, scrawled in black pen on one side.
“Why…?”
“No clue, dude,” Newt replied quickly. “He just asked me to give that to you.”
Raleigh waved him off and walked the aisles of the small store. Why had the jerk saved him a copy? Was it guilt at what Raleigh had said before he left? He would have felt bad for that if the guy hadn’t been such a raging douchebag before. Half way through his normal walk of the store, he abandoned his pattern to approach Newt back at the counter.
“Did he say anything about coming back?”
The owner frowned. “Uh, not really…?”
Raleigh tried to stand taller to glance down on him. “Newt. Do you know the next time he’s coming back?”
The smaller man seemed to deflate. Raleigh could visibly see his throat moving nervously as Newt took a breath and said, “Well, he may have special ordered a copy of a book that arrived today…”
“May have.” Raleigh snorted. “Thanks, Newt.” He moved instead to the tables near Herman’s cart and purchased a new cup of tea before settling in to wait.
Not long after, the door’s bell sounded and Raleigh looked up from the gifted copy of War and Crimes. It was easy to see why Yancy loved these books; they did parallel their lives in so many ways that neither of them wanted to admit. No matter the hardship, the main character usually seemed to emerge able to start a life again. That had to give Yancy hope, and might have been an influence on his decision to re-apply to college that morning.
The jerk – Chuck, his mind supplied – entered the store and glanced around. Raleigh sunk lower in his chair to give himself more time to observe the kid in action. Chuck nodded curtly at Newt before he stalked to a shelf to browse. He observed the titles with military precision, much as Raleigh himself did, and Raleigh wondered if the kid had a similar background. Could explain why he’d felt enough remorse to send him a copy of the book he had been eying for Yancy.
Abandoning his stealth plan, Raleigh stood and stalked toward the guy. He paused only for a second nearby before he reached for Chuck’s shoulder, feeling a sense of Déjà vu and hoping this time didn’t end like the last.
Chuck started and turned toward him, those lovely almost-gray eyes wide with surprise. “Uh…” He glanced down at Raleigh’s hands. “Take it you got the book, then?”
Raleigh spouted the only thing his brain would supply. “Why?”
One of the guy’s feet scuffed the ground as though he was uncomfortable; a move Raleigh figured was very unlike him. He was fascinated by the kid, there was no denying that now.
“You said…” Chuck paused but powered through. “You said it was for your brother. I don’t know what it’s like to have someone like that to get things for, but I imagine if I did, I’d hate anything that got in my way of doing so. Figured I had to make things right.”
It sounded like the closest thing to an apology that had been muttered by the guy in years, if Raleigh had to guess. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
But of course, he couldn’t help it. “Very mature. For a kid.”
“Oi!” It was an exclamation, but Chuck kept his voice down. “I happen to be very mature for my age, fuck you very much.”
He hadn’t realized he’d missed this kind of challenge. Raleigh grinned further and took a few steps into Chuck’s personal space. “Is that an offer?”
The predatory look was back, but this time, it was a lot more inviting. Chuck re-shelved the book he had in hand and replaced it instead with Raleigh’s hip. He shuddered at the contact. Chuck drew him in slowly, stopping only to murmur, “And if it is, love?”
“I always considered venturing into the romance section.”
“So let me get this straight.”
Raleigh sighed and resumed filling his glass from the kitchen sink. Yancy was never going to let him live this down; he wanted to avoid the embarrassment as long as possible. So he kept his back to his brother until the elder Becket cleared his throat. He turned to where Yancy had taken up his casual stance at the kitchen table again.
“You got kicked out of a community bookstore twice in two days?” Yancy dissolved into low, rumbling laughs that Raleigh hadn’t heard in God-knows how long. He couldn’t even be mad at the blush that creeped up his neck as Yancy asked, “How did it happen the second time?”
He thought of the heat between him and Chuck during the exchanged innuendo, the kiss that progressed into just a bit more, until the entire illusion had been shattered by Newt’s trademark Chihuahua yips asking what the hell they thought they were doing in a public store.
Yeah. This was one story Yancy was definitely not getting.