Chapter Text
Subject: day #1 email
From: Perseus JACKSON <[email protected]>
Mon 20 Apr, 9:36 (11 days ago)
to Jason
-
hello my dearest friend jason grace who has abandoned me for the luxury of a hospital bed,
i just had math and i think i'm actually stupid. like not "oh i made a tiny mistake" stupid. like "i should probably be evaluated" stupid. we're "factorising quadratic equations by splitting the middle number" and i have literally no idea what is happening. the people at my table are SPEEDING through questions and i'm still on number four. NUMBER FOUR. i haven't even finished the first row. i told myself i would watch videos over the weekend to understand. i did not. i watched horror movies instead. three of them. back to back. this is why i'm going to fail and also why i'm going to have nightmares. worth it though.
hope they're feeding you good food or whatever. probably not. hospital food looks like something you'd feed to criminals as punishment.
too tired for this and also too stupid,
percy
Subject: Re. day #1 email
Perseus JACKSON <[email protected]>
Mon 20 Apr, 10:48 (11 days ago)
to Jason
-
dude i'm in homeroom right now and i swear i look like such a loser oh my LOOOOORD. i'm sitting ALONE. tip tapping on my laptop like i'm writing the next great american novel or something. which i'm not. i'm emailing you because i have no one else to talk to. do you know how this feels. do you understand my suffering. HELP.
also i just dropped my pencil and when i bent down to get it i hit my head on the desk. everyone looked at me. kill me RIGHT NOW
sincerely, a loser with a headache,
percy
Subject: Re. Re. day #1 email
Perseus JACKSON <[email protected]>
Mon 20 Apr, 11:26 (11 days ago)
to Jason
-
jason grace.
JASON. GRACE.
how could you not reply to your favorite human on earth. your best friend. your literal reason for living (i'm assuming). this makes me sad. :(
i refresh my inbox every thirty seconds and there's NOTHING. just the crushing emptiness of your silence. i hope you feel bad about this. i hope you lie awake in your hospital bed tonight thinking about how you ignored me.
disappointed in you and also slightly dramatic,
percy
Subject: Re. Re. Re. day #1 email
Perseus JACKSON <[email protected]>
Mon 20 Apr, 12:08 (11 days ago)
to Jason
-
i'm in english now and i have no idea what's going on HELP.
we're supposed to be annotating and analysing a poem and idk what we're doing. i forgot to copy down the question so i'm just staring at the paper hoping it will confess its secrets to me. it has not. mr apollo keeps TALKING. he keeps using words like "juxtaposition" and "caesura" while waving his hands around aggressively and i'm nodding along like i understand but i do NOT understand. i have not understood anything since i was born.
send help.
genuinely about to kill myself,
percy
Subject: Re. Re. Re. Re. day #1 email
Jason GRACE <[email protected]>
Mon 20 Apr, 4:25 (11 days ago)
to Perseus
-
i'm so sorry for not replying earlier 😔😔 i was sleeping for most of the day. being sick is exhausting and also the drugs they're giving me make me feel like a slug. a very sleepy slug. but i will definitely reply asap tomorrow. i promise. i'll even set an alarm.
also you emailed me four times in three hours. that's kind of impressive. i'm not sure if i should be flattered or concerned.
sorry for being a bad friend,
jason
Subject: Re. Re. Re. Re. Re. day #1 email
Jason GRACE <[email protected]>
Mon 20 Apr, 4:30 (11 days ago)
to Perseus
-
I don't like quadratic equations either dude it's ok. nobody likes them. i'm pretty sure liking quadratics is a sign of having mental problems.
what horror movies did you watch though? are they good? i watched a film with my dad on his laptop, it was about cooking. a cooking film. do you know how boring that is. i watched a man chop onions for forty five minutes. i wanted to throw myself out the window.
bro how is homeroom? doesn't annabeth or grover talk to you 😭😭 or did you scare them off by being weird. actually don't answer that. i already know the answer.
why am i asking about your social life like i'm your concerned father,
jason
Subject: Re. Re. Re. Re. Re. Re. day #1 email
Jason GRACE <[email protected]>
Mon 20 Apr, 4:34 (11 days ago)
to Perseus
-
Help me.
the baby across from me is watching brain rot videos nonstop. you know the ones. the skibidi toilet whatever. i feel kind of bad for the kid but also the weird background music is playing NONSTOP and i think i'm losing my mind. i've heard the same sound effect like fifty times. i could reenact it from memory now. that's how deep the brain rot has infected me.
also the baby keeps staring at me. i don't know if he wants my snacks or if he's planning something. both options are scary.
currently being tortured by a toddler and losing my will to live,
jason
Subject: Re. Re. Re. Re. Re. Re. Re. day #1 email
Perseus JACKSON <[email protected]>
Mon 20 Apr, 4:54 (11 days ago)
to Jason
-
nono it's totally fine get your rest in. slug mode is acceptable. i forgive you. this time.
I watched a few horror movies. namely orphan and the prequel for that. And also m3gan. not actually that scary but the jump scares get to me every single time. i screamed at the microwave yesterday because it beeped too loud. i am a shell of a man.
and no they don't talk to me haha. maybe because i'm on my laptop the entire time looking like a gremlin? idk 😭😭 grover gave me one look today and then slowly backed away. annabeth just said "you're weird" and walked off. so that's where we're at.
and oh no. a baby with brain rot?????? that baby is the future and i'm scared. what has the world come to. we're doomed. all of us.
genuinely concerned for the future of humanity and also my social life,
percy