Archive of Our Own

🐈‍⬛ ྀི ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹ 🐈 ྀི

The first time Jungwon noticed Jay was during a midterm review session in Calculus II, when Jay leaned back in his chair, stretched his arms behind his head, and answered a question no one else had even fully processed yet. His voice was calm, like he wasn't even trying to impress anyone, which, of course, made him infinitely more impressive. Jungwon had seen him around campus before. He was tall, effortlessly put together, the kind of guy who laughed like he was in on a joke no one else had heard yet, but that day was the moment it stuck.

"Damn," Heeseung muttered next to him, nudging Jungwon's elbow. "Wish my brain worked like that."

Jungwon didn't say anything, just watched as Jay, as he later learned, scribbled something on the edge of his notebook, then passed it to the girl beside him with a quiet, "Here, this might help." No fanfare, no waiting for thanks. Just sincere help.

It wasn't until Heeseung dragged Jungwon to a study group two weeks later that they actually spoke. Jay was there, slouched on a beanbag with a textbook balanced on his knees, nodding along as someone argued about limits versus derivatives. He looked so good explaining complex things like it was nothing for him. Jungwon hovered near the snack table, pretending to be very interested in a bag of stale pretzels, until Heeseung interrupted, "Jay, this is my buddy Jungwon. He's smart but acts like he's not. Fix him."

Jay looked up, blinked, then grinned showing his stupidly perfect smile. Of course he has a perfect smile, Jungwon thought "Can't fix what's not broken," Jay said, and Jungwon felt something warm flutter in his chest.

He felt like a kid all over again, experiencing a silly crush that made his heart beat and cheeks heat up stupidly.
C'mon Jungwon, get it together, he thought as he took a deep breath to calm himself down. By this rate his heart would just jump out of his chest the next time he'd see Jay.

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

Jungwon hadn't expected Jay to remember his name after that study session, nor did he think he'd be seeing Jay again so soon, but three days later he caught him nodding in recognition toward him. It wasn't a smile, just a tilt of the head, like Jay had filed him away in some mental catalog labeled "People Worth Noticing". Jungwon spent the rest of that afternoon replaying the moment, wondering if it really happened or if he'd only imagined it in his head.

Then came Calculus II, where Jungwon realized Jay's brain worked like one of those old-fashioned clock towers: precise, relentless, impossible to look away from. He never raised his hand, never scrambled to answer. He just waited until the professor's eyebrows started climbing their forehead, then offered a solution so clean it made the room exhale. Jungwon started sitting closer to the front, just to watch the way Jay's pen moved, quick and sure, like he was translating some hidden language only he could see.

He used the excuse of wanting to listen better to the lesson, and which seats were better than the ones in the front rows, exactly were Jay always liked to sit? He chose to sit a row behind Jay, toward the end of it so he could look at Jay's profile while he wrote down notes and answered questions only he knew the answers to. He looked impossibly attractive from this angle, and Jungwon couldn't stop looking.

"You're staring at him, again" Heeseung whispered once, kicking Jungwon's ankle under the desk.

"I'm looking at the board," Jungwon hissed back, but his ears burned hot.

"There's nothing on the board," Heeseung bit back as he looked toward the white and impossibly clean surface, which was placed at a completely different angle compared to where Jungwon's eyes were directed at. Heeseung wasn't stupid, he could see where Jungwon was looking at even if he tried to deny it.

"Shut up," Jungwon growled annoyed, not knowing what other thing to say because he was just so awful at lying and Heeseung never believed him.
He was starting to embarass himself with his fake excuses. He never changed seats to listen to the professor. Hell, he didn't even like taking this class, but he applied to it just because Heeseung asked him to keep him company and, as a good and loyal friend, he just couldn't say no.
He didn't even know Jay attended this class, but Heeseung definitely knew Jay's schedule, so this was probably all a cruel set up.

Jungwon should've known considering the fact it was one of the most difficult classes in this semester and, knowing Heeseung, he wasn't one to risk his grades for a class that was too difficult for him to keep up with.
Heeseung was just like cupid, trying to match his friends up.

"Let me concentrate," Jungwon glanced at Heeseung through his bangs, focusing on the messy notes on his notebook. Fuck, he even forgot to write the last things the professor explained.

"Yeah right, keep focusing on your Jay," Heeseung rolled his eyes as he moved his gaze to the professor. Jungwon knew his cheeks shouldn't have flushed when Heeseung said "your Jay", because it really meant nothing and Heeseung said it just as a joke, to tease him some more. But Jungwon felt his cheeks heating up, and he tried to hide the rosy flush by pulling up the collar of his cream sweater.

He took a glance at Jay, accidentally meeting his gaze, and he turned his head to the side so fast that Jay didn't even have the time to raise a hand at him and say hello. Maybe Jungwon should really start focusing on the lessons if he didn't want to fail this class.

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

It wasn't until midterm that Jay actually spoke to him directly. Jungwon had been lingering after class, pretending to reorganize his notes, when Jay paused beside his desk. "You're good at this," he said, tapping Jungwon's last problem set. The one Jungwon had stayed up until 3 AM reworking, just in case Jay glanced at it. "You should stop pretending you're not."

Jungwon had spent exactly seventeen days cataloging Jay's habits before he realized what he was doing. Jay always sat in the third row of Calculus II, left side, one seat in from the window, close enough to see the board but not so close he'd get called on. He chewed the cap of his pen when he was thinking, left knee bouncing under the desk like a metronome.

The realization hit Jungwon so suddenly, leaving him scrambling to rearrange the variables in his head. It was a Tuesday afternoon, halfway through a lecture on partial derivatives, when he caught himself staring at the way Jay's fingers twirled his pen between steps, the rhythm hypnotic as a pendulum. Oh, I am in love with him, he thought, and the words echoed in his skull with the weight of a theorem he couldn't unprove.

Heeseung noticed first, because of course he did. "You're doing that thing again," he muttered during their shared lab session, nudging Jungwon's elbow toward a spilled beaker of ammonium hydroxide.

"What thing?" Jungwon lied, mopping up the spill with a haste that betrayed him.

"The thing where you look at Jay like he's the only man in the world." Heeseung smirked, tossing a paper towel at him. "Just talk to him, idiot. He doesn't bite."

So Jungwon did. He started small, lingering after class to ask Jay about problem sets, feigning confusion over concepts he'd already mastered. Jay's brows would knit together, pen hovering over Jungwon's notebook as he sketched out explanations with a patience that made Jungwon's ribs ache. "You're overcomplicating it," Jay said once, tapping the page with his pen cap. "Look, it's just a pattern. Like music." And then he grinned, and Jungwon forgot how to breathe.

It became a ritual after that day: Calculus II ended at 2:30 PM on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and by 2:35, Jungwon would be leaning against Jay's desk, spinning some half-formed question while Jay packed his bag slower than necessary. One afternoon, Jay paused mid-explanation and squinted at him. "You know this already," he said, not unkindly. "Why are you really asking?"

Jungwon's pulse stuttered. He could've said "Because I find it so attractive when you act so intelligent" or "Because I'm so stupidly in love with you since the day I first saw you but I'm too much of a coward to tell you". Instead of receiving an harsh rejection, Jungwon shrugged off his thoughts and made up a lie. "Your way makes more sense."

Jay studied him for a beat, long enough for Jungwon to count the freckles dusting his neck, then he huffed a laugh. "Fine. But you're buying me coffee next time for all the days I stayed after class to help you."

Which led them one day to the café near campus, where Jungwon learned Jay took his americano black with exactly one sugar packet torn open and stirred counterclockwise. "It dissolves better," Jay insisted, while Jungwon hid his shy smile behind his latte. They sat shoulder to shoulder in a corner booth, Jay's knee bouncing against Jungwon's under the table as he sketched derivatives on a napkin. "See?" he said, nudging Jungwon's arm. "It's all connected." Jungwon wasn't looking at the napkin.

"Yeah, I get it now. Thanks for helping me," Jungwon said shily, taking a sip from his latte as he looked down at it to avoid Jay's eyes. It was the first time they were hanging out together outside of campus, and Jungwon realized it was also their first time not talking about school related stuff. Or maybe, they weren't supposed to, but Jay still found a way to bring up math in their convos.

"No need to thank me, I enjoy helping you," Jay was probably this kind toward everyone, whether he knew them or not, but the fact that he admitted he enjoyed being with Jungwon made something in his chest flutter. Maybe he just made that up to make Jungwon happy, but Jay truly seemed to be gentle in his heart. He didn't have to lie just to please people he didn't care about, so Jungwon must be someone he cares about, right?

Jungwon couldn't look him in the eyes, not when Jay had that soft gaze directed at him. He was just too weak for him. "Let me explain this to you," Jay finally said after a moment of silence, taking the same napkin he just used to teach Jungwon about derivatives.

Jay's fingers drummed against the chipped tabletop, an absent rhythm that matched the coffee shop's speakers playing some indie folk song Jungwon didn't recognize. The napkin between them was half-destroyed, ink bleeding into damp paper where Jay had circled something twice before stopping abruptly. "Okay, forget the napkin," Jay laughed, crumpling it into his empty cup. "You weren't listening anyway."

They ended up talking about math, again. Not that Jungwon was complaining, he still got to hang out with Jay and have a real talk with him, but this wasn't really what he thought they would be doing. Is math really all Jay talks about? He couldn't avoid zoning out, looking somewhere between their drinks and Jay's hand. A beautiful hand at that, but Jungwon would prefer seeing it wrapped around his instead of a stupid pen.

Jungwon traced the rim of his latte with his thumb, watching absently as the foam cling to ceramic, when he came back to reality. "No, I was listening." The lie came out too soft, and Jay's knee knocked against his again under the table, and whether it was an accident or not, Jungwon couldn't tell.

"You were zoning out halfway through. Your eyes do this thing-" Jay mimed staring into the distance, mouth slightly open, and Jungwon kicked him under the table. Jay grinned at him as Jungwon's cheeks were starting to get hotter.

"I swear I was listening to you."

"Uh-huh. To the music, maybe." Jay nodded toward the ceiling where a speaker played some rock music. "You like this band?"

Jungwon blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in topic. The music had been background noise, something to fill the silence between Jay's explanations, but now he actually listened-a melancholic guitar, a voice that cracked on the high notes. "I don't know them," he admitted, fingers tightening around his cup. "But it's... nice, I guess."

Jay's grin widened, as if Jungwon had just told him a secret. "Nice," he echoed, leaning forward until his elbows brushed Jungwon's sleeves.

Jay's elbow nudged Jungwon's wrist as he reached for his phone, pulling up a playlist with his thumb. "Nice is an understatement. This band does things to vocal cords that shouldn't be legal." He tilted the screen toward Jungwon, who caught a glimpse of an album cover splashed in watercolor blues before Jay tapped play on a different track. The new song unfurled with a raw, aching harmony that made the air between them feel charged. "That's the lead singer eating cds for breakfast," Jay said, deadpan, but his eyes sparkled when Jungwon snorted into his latte.

"You're ridiculous." Jungwon wiped foam from his upper lip, trying to suppress the laugh threatening to escape. Jay leaned back against the booth, stretching his arms behind his head with the practiced ease of someone who'd spent years making cramped spaces look comfortable. "Ridiculous is subjective," he countered. "Like how some people think pineapple belongs on pizza-"

"Which it does," Jungwon cut in before he could stop himself.

Jay's eyebrows shot up. "Wow. Defending fruit on pizza in front of me? Bold." He dragged his phone back toward himself, thumb hovering over the screen.

Jay's thumb hesitated over his phone screen before he swiped left, dismissing the playlist entirely. "Okay, pizza blasphemer, defend your stance," he said, nudging Jungwon's ankle under the table with his sneaker. "Give me one good reason pineapple deserves to be anywhere near marinara."

Jungwon licked the last trace of foam from his lip, considering. "Sweet and savory," he said finally, tracing a water ring on the table with his fingertip. "Like... honey glazed ham, or teriyaki chicken. You wouldn't argue against those."

Jay scoffed, but his eyes crinkled at the corners. "False equivalence. Ham is already salty, and pineapple's just cheating." He leaned forward, elbows on the table, and Jungwon caught the faint scent of his cologne, something citrusy, out of place against the coffee's bitterness between them. "But fine. If you're gonna die on this hill, at least tell me you don't put kimchi on pizza too."

"Kimchi's a crime," Jungwon admitted, and Jay barked a laugh loud enough to make the barista glance over. The sound warmed Jungwon's chest more than the latte ever could.

Jay tapped his phone screen absently, the glow reflecting in his dark eyes. "You ever been to that place near campus? The one with the brick oven?" When Jungwon shook his head, Jay's face lit up like he'd been handed a gift. "Seriously? We're going. Friday. Their margherita'll make you renounce pineapple forever."

"Sure," Jungwon said, the word slipping out before he could second guess it, his lips curling into a smile that felt too wide, too revealing. He ducked his head immediately after, pretending to inspect his latte cup like it held the secrets of the universe, but not fast enough to miss the way Jay's entire posture shifted, shoulders loosening and hands splaying flat on the table like he'd just won something.

Jay's phone clattered onto the table, forgotten. "Ok then, friday at seven," he announced, as if it were a decree, not an invitation. "Wear something you don't mind getting flour on. Their chef tosses dough in the air like it's a circus act." He laughed softly.

Jungwon nodded, still staring at his cup, at the way the ceramic had gone lukewarm under his palms. He should say something clever, something that matched Jay's effortless charm, but all he could muster was another soft "Okay."

The café's door chimed as a group of students left, letting in a gust of autumn air that sent a shiver down Jungwon's spine. He glanced at his phone, 6:43 PM, and realized how long they'd been sitting there. Jay noticed the movement and leaned back, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn that cracked his voice midway. "Shit, it's getting late," he said, rubbing at his eye with the heel of his palm. "You got an early class tomorrow?"

Jungwon shook his head, though the motion was half-hearted. He didn't want to admit that he'd been mentally cataloging excuses to stay longer, checking the weather for rain (clear skies) and pretending his latte needed one more refill (it didn't). Jay's fingers tapped against his empty cup, the rhythm matching the song now playing overhead, something slow and syrupy, a singer crooning about sidewalks and goodbyes.

Jay stood abruptly, chair scraping against the floor. "C'mon, let's get you home before it gets dark," he said, offering a hand to pull Jungwon up, as he grabbed his jacket with the other. Jungwon hesitated before taking it, his palm warm against Jay's calloused fingers.

"You live in the dorms by the library, right?" Jay asked, already shrugging into his jacket, a worn leather thing that smelled faintly of rain and the cedar chips his mom stuffed in the pockets to "keep the moths away, not that it works.", as she said herself. Jungwon nodded, distracted by the way Jay's knuckles brushed his wrist as he handed him his scarf.

Outside, the streetlights flickered to life, painting the asphalt in uneven stripes of gold. Jungwon's fingers curled tighter around his scarf as they stepped into the crisp evening air, the warmth of the café dissolving into the bite of winter. Jay fell into step beside him, close enough that their sleeves brushed whenever they turned a corner.
Jay's shoulder lightly bumped against his as they stepped on the uneven sidewalk, their steps falling into sync like they'd done this a hundred times before.

The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, just thick with unsaid words. Jungwon focused on the rhythm of their footsteps: the scuff of Jay's sneakers against dry asphalt, the softer tap of his own boots. Every few steps, Jay's elbow would graze his sleeve, sending a jolt up Jungwon's arm that he pretended not to feel.

A group of cyclists whizzed past, their laughter slicing through the quiet. Jay moved instinctively closer to Jungwon, his forearm pressing briefly against Jungwon's back as if shielding him from the gust of wind left in their wake. Neither acknowledged it. Jungwon stared straight ahead, memorizing the way the streetlight caught the curve of Jay's jaw when he turned to check for traffic.

When they reached the dorm's courtyard, Jungwon realized they'd walked the entire ten minutes without speaking, just the rustle of fallen leaves underfoot and the distant hum of city traffic filling the space between them. Jay kept his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, shoulders hunched slightly against the chill, but his pace never wavered from matching Jungwon's step for step. The silence felt like holding breath underwater, charged with something heavy.

The dorm's lamps buzzed softly, casting overlapping circles of light on the pavement where Jungwon finally slowed to a stop. He could feel Jay hovering half a step behind him, close enough that his shadow merged with Jungwon's on the concrete. "We're here," Jungwon said, nodding toward the brick building with its rows of identical windows. His voice came out too bright, like he was announcing the weather instead of signaling goodbye.

Jay rocked back on his heels, hands still buried deep in his pockets like he was afraid they might betray him if freed. "Right. Yeah." His eyes flicked from Jungwon's face to the dorm entrance and back again, lingering somewhere near Jungwon's left earlobe.

A leaf skittered between them, its dry scrape against asphalt absurdly loud in the silence. Jungwon bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing, not because anything was funny, but because his chest felt too full suddenly, like his ribs couldn't contain whatever was fluttering behind them.

"So, see you around," Jay said, the words landing somewhere between a question and a statement. His hands emerged from his pockets only to hover awkwardly at his sides, fingers flexing like he wanted to reach for something, or someone, but thought better of it. A gust of wind chose that moment to send a flurry of leaves skittering past their ankles, and Jungwon watched as one caught in the frayed hem of Jay's jeans before fluttering away.

"Sure," Jungwon managed, clutching his scarf like a lifeline. "See you around." He repeated shily, voice soft and barely audible between them.
Jay nodded too quickly, shoving his hands back into his pockets like he'd been caught stealing. "Yeah," he echoed, then turned on his heel before Jungwon could say anything else, his sneakers scuffing against the pavement in a way that suggested he was forcing himself not to look back.

Jungwon watched him go, the hunch of Jay's shoulders under his jacket, the way his hair caught the amber streetlight like a halo gone slightly askew. At the corner, Jay hesitated, just a fraction of a second, but kept walking until he disappeared around the bend, swallowed by the night.

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

Heeseung cornered Jungwon later that night in their dorm. "So?" he demanded, flopping onto Jungwon's bed. "Did you two elope yet or what?"

Jungwon threw a pillow at him. "We just got coffee."

"Uh-huh." Heeseung caught the pillow with a grin. "And how many times did you 'accidentally' zone out looking at him?"

Jungwon said nothing, which was enough of an answer. Heeseung cackled.

The first time Jay invited Jungwon over, it was under the pretense of studying for their upcoming midterm, except Jay's apartment smelled like incense and old books, and the only notes on the coffee table were scribbled on the back of a pizza receipt. "I lied," Jay admitted, flopping onto the couch with a grin. "I just didn't want to sit in the library again." Jungwon, who had spent fortyfive minutes picking an outfit that said casual but not trying too hard, felt his stomach flip.

Jay's apartment was exactly how Jungwon imagined it, lived in, slightly chaotic, with a guitar propped in the corner and a half-finished puzzle spread across the kitchen counter. "You play?" Jungwon asked, nodding toward the guitar. Oh, that explains the calluses Jay always has.

"Yeah," Jay said, and he picked it up, strumming a chord that reverberated through Jungwon's ribs. "You wanna try?"

Jungwon shook his head, but Jay was already sliding the guitar into his lap, guiding his fingers to the strings. "Like this," Jay murmured, his breath warm against Jungwon's ear. Jungwon's hands trembled, but Jay's were steady, pressing down on his fingertips until the note rang clear.

It became a habit after that, Jungwon showing up at Jay's door with a six-pack of soda or a bag of chips that Jay loved, and Jay letting him in without a question. They never actually studied. Instead, they argued over playlists (Jay insisted rock music helped him focus, Jungwon called him a liar) and debated the best way to eat ramen (Jay swore by chopsticks, Jungwon was a fork apologist). Jungwon learned that Jay hummed when he was concentrating, that he had a habit of biting his lower lip when he was frustrated, that his laugh sounded different when he was tired, becoming softer, like it was coming from somewhere deeper inside.

The first time Heeseung caught them leaving campus together, Jay's arm was slung casually around Jungwon's shoulders, Jungwon's laughter muffled against Jay's jacket. Heeseung raised an eyebrow so high it nearly disappeared into his hairline at the sight of them.

It wasn't just Heeseung who noticed. By the time midterms rolled around, their entire study group had started placing bets on how long it would take them to "stop pretending." Sunghoon, who'd once watched Jay turn down a date with the campus's most persistent cheerleader, nearly choked on his coffee when he walked into the library to find Jay feeding Jungwon a bite of his sandwich. "Who are you," he whispered, "and what have you done with Jay?"

Jay shrugged, but Jungwon caught the way his fingers lingered near Jungwon's mouth, thumb brushing the corner of his lip to catch a crumb. "He forgot his lunch," Jay said, like that explained anything.

The strangest part wasn't how quickly Jay had let Jungwon in, though that was unusual enough, given Jay's reputation for keeping people at arm's length. It was how natural it felt, like Jungwon had always been meant to slot into the spaces Jay left open. Their friends noticed first, because of course they did. Jake started keeping a tally in the margins of his notes every time Jay's gaze lingered on Jungwon for a beat too long. Heeseung, the little shit, made a show of dramatically sighing whenever Jungwon checked his phone for Jay's texts.

But none of that compared to the night Jay asked Jungwon to stay late, just the two of them, long after Heeseung and Sunghoon had left with a wink and a "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Jay had been unusually quiet all evening, fingers drumming restlessly against his thigh as Jungwon rambled about some obscure math theorem he'd found in the library. When Jungwon finally paused mid sentence, Jay exhaled sharply and reached for a small wooden box on his bookshelf.

"You ever tried this?" Jay asked, flipping the lid open to reveal what looked like weed. His voice was casual, but his knuckles were white around the edge of the box.

Jungwon blinked. "Uh. No?" He'd never even seen weed up close before, let alone smoked it. The closest he'd come was the time Heeseung dared him to take a hit off a vape pen in high school, which had ended with Jungwon coughing so hard he nearly threw up.

Jay's mouth curved into something soft, almost fond. "Wanna learn?"

Jungwon's pulse kicked against his ribs like a metronome set too fast. "Yeah," he said, aiming for casual and missing by a mile. "Show me."

Jay didn't answer, just grabbed another small box and popped the lid open with his thumb. Inside, everything sat in its usual place: the worn pack of rolling papers tucked against the side and the lighter with the chipped blue finish in the center it. He palmed the box with weed first, shaking it once just to hear the dry rustle on thin paper before setting it on the coffee table.

Outside, the lights slanted through the half drawn blinds, striping the floor in gold and shadow. Jay worked quietly, fingers moving with the easy rhythm of something he'd done a hundred times before. He pinched the paper between his fingertips, licked the edge in one smooth motion, then glanced up at Jungwon who looked amazed, but scared at the same time.

Jay laughed, low and warm, nudging Jungwon's knee with his own as he settled near him onto the couch. "Relax," he murmured, flicking open the lighter with practiced ease. The flame cast shadows across his cheekbones, sharpening the curve of his smirk. "It's not a final exam."

Jay finally brought the flame to the tip of the blunt between his wet lips. The paper caught, curling briefly in the heat before settling into a slow, steady burn. He inhaled deeply, eyes fluttering shut for a second, the ember glowing brighter in the dim light of the room. When he exhaled, the smoke curled lazily between them, a hazy veil that made Jungwon's throat tighten in anticipation.

Jay held the blunt out to him between two fingers, grinning at the way Jungwon hesitated. "C'mon," he coaxed, nudging it closer. "Just take it slow. Like drinking through a straw,"

Jungwon's fingers brushed Jay's as he took it, the warmth of the paper surprising against his skin. He hesitated, staring at the glowing tip like it was a live wire. Jay watched him with amused patience, elbow propped on the back of the couch, fingers drumming lightly against his own knee. "Don't overthink it," he said, voice rough around the edges from his last inhale. "Just breathe in like you're pretending you know what you're doing."

Jungwon scoffed, but the joke eased the tension in his shoulders just enough. He lifted the blunt to his lips, a bit too fast, too eager, and sucked in a sharp breath before Jay could warn him. The smoke hit the back of his throat like a punch, hot and thick, scraping all the way down.

The inhale burned worse than Jungwon expected. He coughed, eyes watering, while Jay thumped him on the back with a chuckle. "You gotta take smaller drags," Jay said, but his fingers lingered at the nape of Jungwon's neck, thumb brushing the short hairs there. "Let it sit for a second."

Jungwon tried again, slower this time, and felt the heat bloom differently, a slow curl of warmth in his lungs before he exhaled shakily. "Better, right?" Jay asked, close enough that Jungwon could count the flecks of gold in his eyes.

"Yeah," Jungwon breathed, and then Jay was leaning in, plucking the blunt from his fingers to take a drag of his own. Jungwon watched, transfixed, as Jay's lips wrapped around the paper, the ember flaring bright in the dim room. When Jay exhaled, the smoke curled between them softly.

Jay passed the blunt back to Jungwon, their fingers brushing in a way that sent sparks skittering up Jungwon's arm. The third drag went smoother, less fire and more warmth pooling low in his stomach. He could feel the exact moment it hit him: the edges of the room softening, Jay's knee pressed against his own suddenly became the most fascinating point of contact in the universe.

"You good?" Jay murmured, watching him through half-lidded eyes.

Jungwon nodded, then immediately regretted it when the motion made the ceiling tilt. "Why'd you ask me to stay?" The question slipped out before he could stop it, raw and unpolished.

Jay didn't answer right away. He took the blunt from Jungwon's slack fingers, inhaled deeply, then tilted his head back against the couch cushions. The line of his throat looked like something Jungwon wanted to trace with his teeth. "You're the only person who doesn't make me feel like I'm performing," he said finally, voice rough with smoke.

Jungwon's breath caught. He knew exactly what Jay meant, the way people watched him, expected things from him, like he was a theorem they could solve if they just stared hard enough. But Jungwon had never wanted to solve him. He just wanted to know him, the way you know the rhythm of your own heartbeat.

Jay passed the blunt back, his fingers lingering just a second longer than necessary. Jungwon took it as their eyes locked, and something unspoken passed between them, a silent oh, so this is happening flashed in Jungwon's mind, before Jay leaned in. It wasn't sudden, wasn't dramatic. Just a slow tilt of his head, a question in the way his gaze dropped to Jungwon's mouth. Jungwon answered by closing the distance himself.

The kiss was softer than he expected. Jay's lips tasted like smoke and something sweet, maybe the iced coffee he'd been drinking earlier. Jungwon had kissed people before, but never like this, never with his heart pounding so loudly he was sure Jay could hear it. One of Jay's hands settled on his waist, warm through the fabric of his shirt, while the other carefully plucked the blunt from Jungwon's fingers before it could tumble to the floor.

They broke apart only when Jungwon forgot how to breathe. Jay smirked, thumb brushing the corner of Jungwon's swollen lips. "Are you high?" he teased, voice low.

"Maybe," Jungwon muttered, but he was grinning, giddy with it. Jay laughed, that same tired, private laugh Jungwon had discovered weeks ago, and kissed him again. This time, Jungwon let himself sink into it, let his hands find purchase in Jay's hair, the strands soft between his fingers.

Jungwon's fingers trembled against Jay's scalp, the blunt long forgotten on the coffee table beside them, its ember fading into the dim light of the apartment. Jay's mouth was warm, insistent, and Jungwon found himself chasing it every time they broke apart, like he was afraid Jay might change his mind, might pull back and laugh this off as some stoned mistake. But Jay didn't pull back. Instead, he shifted, pressing Jungwon deeper into the couch cushions, one hand sliding under his shirt to trace the dip of his waist. The touch sent a shiver up Jungwon's spine, sharp enough to make him gasp into Jay's mouth.

"Is this okay?" Jay murmured against his lips, fingers stilling in their trace.

Jungwon nodded, too quickly, then laughed at himself. "Yeah. Just-nervous." He hadn't meant to admit it, but the weed had loosened his tongue, and Jay's thumb rubbing circles against his hipbone wasn't helping.

Jay leaned back just enough to study him, eyes dark and pupils blown wide. "We can stop," he said, voice rough. "Any time."

Jungwon shook his head. "I don't want to stop." The honesty surprised him, how easy it was to say when Jay was looking at him like that, like he'd already memorized the way Jungwon's breath hitched. Jay exhaled, slow, and then his hands were everywhere at once: sliding under Jungwon's shirt, skimming up his ribs, mapping the flutter of his pulse on his throat. Jungwon arched into it, fingers tangling in Jay's hair as their mouths crashed together again, less careful this time.

Jay's teeth grazed his lower lip, and Jungwon made a sound he didn't recognize, high and desperate, before biting down on his lips to stifle it. Jay chuckled, the vibration rumbling through Jungwon's chest. "You don't have to be quiet," he murmured, dragging his mouth along Jungwon's jaw. "No one's here but me."

The words unraveled something in Jungwon's chest. He gasped as Jay's hands slid lower, thumbs hooking under the waistband of his jeans. "Wait-" Jungwon caught Jay's wrists, suddenly aware of how little he knew, and of how much he wanted anyway. "I've never done it.. with someone. Like this."

Jay stilled. For a heartbeat, Jungwon worried he'd ruined it, but then Jay's expression softened, his thumbs stroking the jut of Jungwon's hipbones. "Tell me what you want," he said, so quiet it was almost a whisper. "Or tell me to stop. Either way."

Jungwon swallowed. The air between them felt charged, thick with smoke and the unspoken weight of what they were about to do. "I want you," he admitted, voice cracking. "Just...go slow,"

Jay exhaled slowly, his breath warm against Jungwon's temple. "Yeah," he murmured, like it was the easiest thing in the world. "We can do slow." His fingers lingered at the hem of Jungwon's shirt, waiting. Jungwon nodded, and Jay peeled the fabric off with a care that made Jungwon's chest ache. The air was cool against his skin, but Jay's hands were warmer, tracing the lines of his ribs like he was committing them to memory.

Jungwon's breath hitched when Jay's mouth followed next, leaving slow, deliberate kisses down his sternum, pausing just at the dip of his navel. "You're shaking," Jay observed, glancing up through his lashes.

"I'm not," Jungwon lied, but his fingers trembled where they clutched the couch cushions. Jay smirked and pressed a kiss to the jut of his hipbone, slow enough to make Jungwon's toes curl.

The next touch was careful. Jay's palm slid over the front of Jungwon's jeans, his thumb rubbing slow circles through the fabric. Jungwon arched into it with a gasp
as his head thumped back against the armrest. "Fuck," he breathed, and Jay laughed softly, the sound vibrating against Jungwon's stomach.

"Told you to relax," Jay murmured, nuzzling the sensitive skin below Jungwon's ribs. His fingers made quick work of Jungwon's button, popping it open with a practiced flick. Jungwon's brain short-circuited when Jay's fingers dipped beneath the waistband of his briefs, teasing but not quite touching where he needed it most.

Jungwon's breath caught in his throat when Jay's fingers finally wrapped around him, the touch feather-light but deliberate. "Okay?" Jay murmured, his lips brushing the inside of Jungwon's knee where his jeans had been pushed down. Jungwon nodded, swallowing hard, but Jay didn't move. "Say it," he prompted, his thumb tracing a maddening circle at the base.

"Okay," Jungwon choked out, his hips jerking involuntarily. "More than okay."

Jay's smirk was slow, satisfied, as he tightened his grip just enough to make Jungwon's toes curl. The rhythm he set was deliberate, not quite teasing, but not rushing either, like he was measuring each stroke against the hitch of Jungwon's breath. Jungwon fisted the couch cushions, his back arching off the fabric as Jay's thumb swiped over the head, already slick with precome.

"Fuck," Jungwon gasped, his thighs trembling. He'd been touched before, but never like this, never with someone watching him so closely, adjusting every motion to the way his breath stuttered. Jay's free hand slid up his thigh, fingertips digging in just enough to ground him. "Jay-"

"Right here," Jay murmured, pressing a kiss to the inside of Jungwon's knee. His tongue darted out, tasting the salt of Jungwon's skin, and Jungwon made a sound he'd never heard himself make before, high and desperate. Jay's gaze flicked up, dark with something Jungwon couldn't name. "You're so fucking pretty like this."

Jungwon's vision blurred at the edges, the room tilting on its axis as Jay's hand moved with agonizing precision. He wanted to say something, anything, but his thoughts dissolved into static, his mouth falling open around a silent gasp. Jay watched him like he was studying a particularly fascinating equation His eyes tracked every twitch of Jungwon's muscles and every flutter of his lashes.

"Close?" Jay murmured, his thumb swiping over the head of Jungwon's cock again, slick and deliberate.

Jungwon nodded frantically, his hips jerking off the couch. "Y-yeah," he choked out, his fingers scrambling for purchase in Jay's hair.

Jay's grip tightened fractionally, his other hand sliding up to cradle Jungwon's ribs, holding him steady. "Look at me," he said, voice low. Jungwon forced his eyes open and met Jay's gaze. The intensity there stole his breath. Jay didn't look away as he stroked Jungwon to the edge, his fingers relentless and his touch searing.

Jungwon came with a broken cry right after, his back arching off the couch as pleasure ripped through him, white-hot and dizzying. Jay didn't let up, working him through it until Jungwon was squirming, oversensitive and trembling. Only then did he slow, his hand coming to a stop as Jungwon collapsed bonelessly against the cushions, his chest heaving.

Jay's hand stilled but didn't pull away, his thumb idly tracing the damp skin of Jungwon's hipbone as Jungwon tried to remember how to breathe. The air smelled like weed and sweat and something faintly sweet, Jay's cologne, maybe, or the incense he'd lit earlier. Jungwon's pulse thundered in his ears, loud enough that he barely heard Jay's quiet chuckle.

"Still nervous?" Jay murmured, pressing a kiss to the inside of Jungwon's thigh His lips were warm, lingering just long enough to make Jungwon shiver.

Jungwon swallowed, his throat dry. "No," he hesitated, then immediately ruined it by adding, "Just-never thought you'd-" He cut himself off, heat crawling up his neck.

Jay's smirk softened into something quieter, more private. He shifted, sliding up the couch until their faces were on the same level, close enough that Jungwon could see the beads of sweat on his temples. "Never thought I'd what?" he prompted, tucking a strand of hair behind Jungwon's ear. His fingers lingered there, tracing the shell of Jungwon's ear in a way that made his breath hitch.

Jungwon swallowed. "Want me like this," he admitted, quieter than he meant to. The words felt too big in the space between them, too honest. Jay's expression flickered, something Jungwon couldn't name, before he exhaled sharply and leaned in, pressing his forehead against Jungwon's.

"I've wanted you like this since the day you argued with me about pineapple on pizza," Jay murmured, his breath warm against Jungwon's lips. His fingers traced the curve of Jungwon's jaw, thumb brushing the spot where his pulse fluttered wildly. "Maybe longer." The admission hung between them, fragile as smoke, and Jungwon felt something inside him crack open.

He reached for Jay blindly, fingers tangling in the fabric of his shirt, dragging him closer until their chests pressed together. Jay went willingly, his body slotting against Jungwon's like they'd done this a hundred times before. Jungwon kissed him slowly, savoring the way Jay's breath hitched when he bit down on his lower lip.

Jay's exhale against Jungwon's lips was shaky and uneven, something Jungwon had never heard from him before. It made his stomach flip. He tugged Jay closer, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt until their bodies were flush, heat pooling where skin met skin. Jay's hands slid down Jungwon's sides, mapping the dip of his waist like he was memorizing it, and Jungwon shivered when fingers brushed the sensitive skin just above his hips.

"Still okay?" Jay murmured against his mouth, his voice rougher than usual.

Jungwon nodded, then, remembering how Jay had demanded verbal confirmation earlier, added a breathless, "Yeah"

Jay's fingers traced the hem of Jungwon's briefs, his touch light enough to make Jungwon shudder. "You sure?" Jay asked, his thumb dipping beneath the elastic-just barely, just enough to make Jungwon's breath stutter.

Jungwon nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah," he whispered, his fingers tightening in Jay's hair. "Just-don't stop looking at me." The request slipped out before he could stop it, raw and embarrassingly vulnerable, but Jay didn't laugh. Instead, his gaze softened, his fingers stilling against Jungwon's hipbone like he was committing the moment to his memory.

"Never," Jay murmured, and then his hands were moving again, sliding Jungwon's briefs down his thighs with a care that made Jungwon's throat tight. The air was cool against his bare skin, but Jay's palms were warm, smoothing over his knees, his calves, before nudging his legs apart with a quiet, "Lift."

Jungwon obeyed, his heart hammering so loudly he was sure Jay could hear it. Jay's hands settled on his thighs, thumbs rubbing slow circles into the sensitive skin there. "Breathe," Jay reminded him, his voice low ane steady, anchoring Jungwon in a way that made his chest ache.

Jungwon exhaled shakily, his fingers flexing against the couch cushions. Jay leaned in, pressing a kiss to the inside of Jungwon's knee, then higher, his lips trailing up Jungwon's thigh in a path that made his stomach twist with anticipation. Jungwon's breath hitched when Jay's mouth brushed the crease of his hip, his tongue darting out to taste the salt of Jungwon's skin.

The first touch of Jay's tongue nearly sent Jungwon through the couch cushions. His hips jerked up instinctively, a gasp tearing from his throat as Jay's hands tightened around his thighs, pinning him down with effortless strength. "Easy," Jay murmured against his skin, the vibration sending another shudder through Jungwon's body. His breath was hot, too much and not enough all at once. "Tell me if it's too much."

Jungwon could only nod, his fingers twisting into Jay's hair as Jay's mouth moved lower, achingly slow. The first press of lips against him was tentative, almost questioning, and Jungwon whimpered, his toes curling against the armrest. Jay hummed in response, the sound vibrating through Jungwon's core, before taking his cock properly into his mouth.

The heat was overwhelming, slick and tight and so alive Jungwon thought he might combust. His back arched off the couch, a broken noise escaping him as Jay's tongue swirled experimentally, testing his reactions like a musician tuning an instrument. Every flick, every suck was calculated to wring another sound from Jungwon's throat, and Jay cataloged each one with darkening eyes.

"Jay-" Jungwon choked out, his hips twitching helplessly. Jay's grip on his thighs tightened, holding him still as he hollowed his cheeks, dragging Jungwon deeper. The sensation was dizzying, the slide of Jay's lips relentless, and Jungwon's vision blurred at the edges, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He'd never been touched like this, never with such single-minded focus, like Jay was determined to unravel him completely.

When Jay's fingers brushed lower, tracing the crease of Jungwon's thigh, Jungwon tensed, not in fear, but in anticipation so sharp it bordered on pain. Jay paused, pulling off with a wet sound that made Jungwon's stomach flip. "Can I touch you here?" he asked, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into Jungwon's hipbone.

Jungwon's breath stuttered when Jay's thumb strayed lower, pressing gently against his rim without breaching. His hips jerked involuntarily, a whimper catching in his throat.

Jay exhaled sharply through his nose, his breath hot against Jungwon's inner thigh. "You gotta say it," he murmured, his thumb still circling maddeningly light, teasing without committing. "Words, Jungwon. Need to hear them."

Jungwon's throat worked around the thickness of his pulse. "Yes," he managed, voice cracking. "God, yes"

Jay's fingers left Jungwon's skin for the first time in what felt like hours, just long enough to fumble for the bottle of lube Jungwon hadn't noticed was tucked between the couch cushions. The cap popped open with a quiet click, the sound obscenely loud in the heavy silence between them. Jungwon watched as Jay poured a generous amount onto his fingers, the liquid catching the dim light like honey.

"It's gonna be a bit cold," Jay warned, just before his slick fingers found Jungwon again. The first touch drew a sharp gasp from Jungwon's throat, the lube was indeed cold, but Jay's skin warmed it quickly, his thumb rubbing slow circles around Jungwon's rim without pressing a finger in. The sensation was foreign, electric, and Jungwon's hips jerked instinctively, his fingers tightening in the cushions.

Jay chuckled, low and warm against Jungwon's thigh. "Relax," he murmured, his breath ghosting over damp skin. His fingers moved with deliberate patience, tracing teasing patterns until Jungwon's muscles trembled with anticipation. "Just getting you ready." The words sent a shiver down Jungwon's spine just at the thought of what he was getting him ready for, but Jay didn't elaborate, his thumb pressing just enough to make Jungwon's toes curl.

The first breach of Jay's finger was slow, so careful Jungwon barely felt it past the slick drag of lube. Then heat, pressure, an unfamiliar fullness that made Jungwon gasp and arch off the couch. Jay's free hand slid up to cradle his ribs, grounding him. "Breathe," Jay reminded him, his voice rough with something Jungwon couldn't name. His finger curled, just slightly, and Jungwon's vision whited out at the edges.

Jay didn't rush. He worked Jungwon open with a patience that bordered on reverence, his gaze locked on Jungwon's face as he added a second finger, then a third, scissoring them gently until Jungwon's thighs trembled. Every twist of Jay's wrist sent sparks skittering up Jungwon's spine, every crook of his fingers drawing punched-out noises Jungwon didn't recognize as his own.

When Jay's fingertips brushed a spot deep inside that made Jungwon see stars, his hips jerked off the couch with a force that nearly sent them both tumbling to the floor. Jay caught him by the waist, fingers digging into bare skin hard enough to bruise, but Jungwon barely felt the sting. Not when Jay's other hand was working him open with terrifying precision, curling just so until Jungwon's vision blurred at the edges.

"Found it," Jay murmured, his voice rough with satisfaction. He didn't ease up. If anything, he pressed harder, twisting his wrist in a way that had Jungwon arching off the cushions with a broken cry. The lube made every movement slick, effortless, Jay's fingers sliding in and out with a wet sound that should've been embarrassing but only made Jungwon's stomach twist tighter.

Jay leaned down, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to Jungwon's trembling thigh. "You're taking me so well," he breathed against sweat-damp skin, his thumb circling Jungwon's rim where his fingers were buried deep. The praise sent heat licking up Jungwon's spine. He hadn't realized how much he needed to hear it until the words were out of Jay's mouth, low and reverent.

Jungwon fisted the couch cushions, his knuckles going white as Jay scissored his fingers wider, stretching him with an almost clinical focus. The burn was sharp at first, then melting into something headier, until Jungwon was pushing back against Jay's hand, chasing the pressure. "F-fuck," he gasped, his voice wrecked beyond recognition.

Jay withdrew his fingers slowly, watching Jungwon's body clench around the sudden emptiness with dark fascination. The lube-slick sound was obscene in the quiet room, and Jungwon shuddered, his skin prickling with oversensitivity. Jay wiped his hand absently on his jeans before reaching for the waistband of his own pants, his gaze never leaving Jungwon's flushed face. "You good?" he murmured, pausing with his fingers hooked in the fabric.

Jungwon nodded frantically, his throat dry. "Yeah," he rasped, then swallowed hard when Jay's smirk turned knowing. "Just nervous."

Jay's fingers paused, his thumb brushing Jungwon's knee in slow circles. "We don't have to-"

"I want to," Jungwon interrupted, surprising himself with the vehemence in his voice. He reached for Jay's wrist, tugging him closer until their bodies collided.

Jay exhaled sharply through his nose before pressing a kiss to Jungwon's temple. "Okay," he murmured, his breath warm against Jungwon's cheekbone. "Tell me if it's too much." His fingers curled tighter around Jungwon's waist, holding him steady as he slid his jeans down just enough to free himself. The brush of skin against Jungwon's thigh sent a jolt through him, his pulse thundering in his ears.

Jungwon watched, mesmerized, as Jay slicked himself with lube, his fingers trembling slightly, not from hesitation, but from restraint. The sight of Jay's cock, flushed and heavy in his own grip, made Jungwon's mouth go dry. He reached out instinctively, his fingers brushing Jay's wrist. "Can...I?"

Jay's breath hitched. He guided Jungwon's hand to himself without hesitation, his pupils blown wide when Jungwon's fingers curled tentatively around him. "Fuck," Jay hissed, his hips jerking into the touch. Jungwon marveled at the heat of him, the weight, the way Jay's eyelashes fluttered when Jungwon thumbed the slit.

Jay caught Jungwon's wrist after a moment, gently prying his hand away. "Next time," he promised, voice rough. He leaned in, pressing their foreheads together as he nudged Jungwon's thighs wider. "Right now I need to be inside you" His hips shifted, the blunt head of his cock pressing against Jungwon's entrance, and Jungwon's breath stuttered.

The first push was slow, agonizingly so, Jay's hands gripping Jungwon's hips hard enough to bruise as he worked himself inside inch by inch. Jungwon gasped, his nails digging into Jay's shoulders, the stretch foreign and overwhelming. Jay paused when he was halfway in, his forehead damp with sweat. "Does it hurt?" he ground out, his voice wrecked.

Jungwon shaked his head his breath coming in shallow gasps as Jay's grip tightened on his hips. "No" he managed, voice cracking.

Jay exhaled sharply through his mouth and pressed his forehead to Jungwon's collarbone as his hips rolled forward, slow and relentless, until Jungwon could feel the heat of Jay's stomach pressed against his thighs. The stretch burned in a way that made Jungwon's toes curl, his fingers scrambling for purchase against Jay's sweat-slick back.

"W-wait," Jungwon gasped, his voice cracking around the syllable. Jay stilled immediately, his breath ragged against Jungwon's throat.

"Too much?" Jay murmured, his fingers flexing against Jungwon's hips. The restraint in his voice and the way his entire body trembled with the effort of holding still sent a fresh wave of heat through Jungwon's veins.

Jungwon shook his head, dragging his nails down Jay's spine. "No, just-" He swallowed hard, the stretch overwhelming in a way that wasn't pain but wasn't quite pleasure either. "It feels strange."

Jay exhaled sharply, pressing a kiss to the hollow of Jungwon's throat. "Tell me when to move," he breathed, his lips brushing damp skin.

Jungwon nodded, his fingers tightening in Jay's hair. "You can move," he whispered.

Jay moved with deliberate slowness, his hips rolling in a shallow thrust that sent sparks skittering up Jungwon's spine. The drag was strange at first, then it melted into something headier as Jungwon's body adjusted around him. Jay's breath hitched against Jungwon's collarbone, his fingers digging into the soft skin of Jungwon's hips. "God," Jay rasped, his voice rough with restraint. "You feel so good" He groaned as his forehead pressed harder against Jungwon's throat.

Jungwon arched into it, his thighs trembling where they bracketed Jay's waist. The stretch burned in a way that made his stomach twist, but beneath it was something else. a slow building pressure that coiled tighter with every shallow thrust. Jay's lips found the hinge of Jungwon's jaw, teeth grazing skin as his hips rolled forward again, deeper this time. Jungwon gasped, his fingers scrambling against Jay's back.

"Fuck," Jay muttered against his throat, his voice wrecked. His fingers flexed on Jungwon's hips, fingertips pressing into bone.

Jay pulled back just enough to catch Jungwon's gaze, his pupils blown wide in the dim light. His lips were parted, breath coming in ragged bursts as he hovered over Jungwon, suspended in the space between them like a question. Jungwon reached up, fingers trembling as they traced the sharp line of Jay's jaw, grounding himself in the solid heat of him.

"Okay?" Jay rasped, his voice rough with restraint. His hips shifted minutely, drawing a gasp from Jungwon's throat.

Jungwon nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah," he breathed, tightening his legs around Jay's waist. "Just keep going."

Jay's exhale was shaky, his fingers flexing against Jungwon's hips before he pulled out slowly, only to push back in with deliberate precision. The drag was electric, igniting sparks along Jungwon's spine as Jay set a rhythm that was maddeningly slow at first, each thrust measured against the hitch of Jungwon's breath.

Jungwon's fingers dug into Jay's shoulders, his back arching off the couch as Jay's hips rolled forward, deeper each time. The angle shifted, and suddenly he felt a sharp, bright burst of pleasure that tore a broken sound from Jungwon's throat. Jay's breath stuttered, his grip tightening. "That's it," he murmured, his voice low and wrecked. "Right there."

Jay's next thrust hit the same spot with devastating accuracy, and Jungwon's vision whited out. His fingers scrabbled against the couch cushions, grasping for purchase as pleasure coiled tight in his gut, hot and urgent and too much all at once. Jay's breath was ragged against his throat, his hips snapping forward with increasing abandon, each movement dragging Jungwon closer to the edge.

"Jay-fuck-" Jungwon gasped, his voice breaking around the syllables. He could feel Jay's smirk against his collarbone, teeth scraping skin as he angled his hips just right again.

"I know," Jay murmured, the words rough with exertion. His fingers tightened on Jungwon's waist, thumbs pressing into the dip of his hips as he fucked into him with relentless precision.

Jay's thrusts grew sharper, less controlled, his breath hot against Jungwon's throat. Jungwon's thighs trembled where they wrapped around Jay's waist, his heels digging into the small of Jay's back as if to pull him closer, deeper. Every snap of Jay's hips sent sparks skittering up Jungwon's spine, his vision blurring at the edges with each stroke.

Jay's fingers slid from Jungwon's hips to his thighs, gripping hard enough to leave bruises as he shifted angles just slightly, and Jungwon's back arched off the couch with a strangled cry. "There-" Jungwon gasped, nails raking down Jay's shoulders. "Right there-"

Jay's rhythm stuttered, his breath hitching against Jungwon's collarbone before he adjusted, his hips snapping forward with pinpoint accuracy. The drag was electric, igniting sparks beneath Jungwon's skin with every thrust. Jay's lips found his throat, teeth scraping damp skin as he murmured, "You sound so fucking pretty." The words sent heat pooling low in Jungwon's stomach, his cock twitching between them.

Jungwon's vision blurred at the edges, his breath coming in ragged gasps as pleasure coiled tight in his gut. He could feel the tension building, white hot and inevitable, but Jay slowed abruptly, drawing out with torturous slowness until only the tip remained. Jungwon whined, his hips jerking helplessly. "Jay, please-"

Jay's smirk was audible in his voice. "Tell me what you need." His fingers traced Jungwon's trembling abdomen, feather light and maddening.

Jungwon's throat worked around the thickness of his pulse. "You," he managed, voice cracking. "Need you-"

Jay didn't make him wait. He pushed back in with a single, fluid motion that punched the air from Jungwon's lungs, deep enough that Jungwon could feel him in his throat. Their foreheads knocked together as Jay rolled his hips in a slow, grinding circle that made Jungwon's toes curl against the couch cushions.

"Like this?" Jay murmured, his voice rough with exertion. His fingers tightened on Jungwon's thighs, thumbs pressing into the sensitive skin as he angled his hips just right.

Jay's thrusts lost their careful rhythm, his hips snapping forward with raw desperation, each movement dragging Jungwon closer to the edge. The wet slap of skin against skin filled the room, punctuated by Jungwon's breathless gasps and Jay's bitten-off groans. Jungwon's hands scrabbled against Jay's sweat-slick back, his nails leaving crescent moons in their wake as pleasure coiled tighter, threatening to unravel him completely.

"Look at me," Jay grunted out, his voice shattered. Jungwon forced his had up and met Jay's gaze. The intensity there stole his breath. Jay looked wrecked, undone, and it was all Jungwon's doing. The realization sent a fresh wave of heat crashing through him.

Jay's fingers dug into Jungwon's waist as he fucked into him with relentless precision, each thrust hitting that spot deep inside that made Jungwon's vision whiten at the edges. The stretch burned in the best way, Jay filling him so completely Jungwon could barely think past the sensation. "You feel-" Jay broke off with a sharp exhale, his forehead dropping to Jungwon's shoulder. "Fuck, you feel perfect."

Jungwon's thighs trembled where they bracketed Jay's waist, his heels digging into the small of Jay's back as if to pull him deeper. Every snap of Jay's hips sent sparks skittering up Jungwon's spine, his cock leaking against his stomach untouched. He reached between them instinctively, fingers brushing his own oversensitive flesh, but Jay caught his wrist and pinned it to the couch with effortless strength.

"Let me," Jay murmured against his throat, his teeth scraping damp skin. His free hand slid down Jungwon's chest, fingers tracing the dip of his waist before wrapping around Jungwon's cock in one smooth motion. The contact was electric. Jay's grip was firm and sure, his thumb swiping over the head with every upward stroke. Jungwon arched off the couch with a broken cry, his back bowing as pleasure licked up his spine.

Jay's fingers tightened around Jungwon's wrist, pressing it harder into the couch cushions as his other hand worked Jungwon with ruthless efficiency. Jungwon writhed beneath him, his hips jerking erratically, caught between chasing the friction of Jay's hand and the deep, relentless drag of Jay's cock inside him. "Jay-" Jungwon gasped, his voice raw, "I can't-"

"Shh," Jay murmured against his throat, his breath scorching against damp skin. His lips trailed up the column of Jungwon's neck, teeth grazing his pulse point as his hips snapped forward with brutal precision. "I've got you." His thumb swiped over the head of Jungwon's cock again, smearing precome in slow circles that made Jungwon's stomach twist.

Jungwon's vision fractured at the edges, his fingers twisting in the cushions as pleasure coiled tighter. Jay's pace was relentless, his thrusts losing control as he fucked into Jungwon with single minded focus, each movement dragging Jungwon closer to the edge.

Jungwon's back arched off the couch, a strangled cry tearing from his throat as pleasure crested without warning. His release splashed across his stomach in hot stripes, his body clamping down around Jay with such sudden intensity that Jay groaned, his rhythm stuttering. Jungwon barely registered Jay's fingers tightening around his wrist, the sharp press of Jay's teeth against his collarbone as Jay chased his own release with rough, uneven thrusts.

Jay's hips jerked forward one final time before he stilled, his entire body tensing as he buried himself deep with a low, punched-out groan. Jungwon could feel the hot spill of Jay's release inside him, the way Jay's fingers trembled where they still pinned Jungwon's wrist to the couch. For a long moment, neither moved and Jay's forehead pressed to Jungwon's shoulder, their breathing ragged and uneven in the quiet room.

When Jay finally pulled out, Jungwon gasped at the sudden emptiness, his thighs twitching. Jay collapsed beside him on the narrow couch, his arm slinging over Jungwon's waist like it belonged there. Jungwon turned his head, his cheek pressing against Jay's sweat-damp shoulder as he tried to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" Jay murmured after a moment, his voice rough. His thumb traced idle circles against Jungwon's hipbone, the touch soothing despite the aftershocks still skittering through Jungwon's nerves.

Jungwon nodded, swallowing hard. His throat felt raw, his limbs heavy in a way he'd never experienced before. "Yeah," he managed, his voice cracking.

Jay's fingers traced idle patterns along Jungwon's ribs, the touch feather-light compared to the bruising grip from moments earlier. The silence between them was thick, but not uncomfortable, just heavy with words neither had voiced yet. Jungwon's pulse still hadn't settled, his skin oversensitive where Jay's thigh pressed against his own.

Jay shifted first, his fingers trailing down Jungwon's sweat-slicked arm until he could lace their hands together. The gesture was unexpectedly tender that Jungwon's breath caught. "Stay here," Jay murmured against his temple before pushing himself upright with a quiet groan. Jungwon watched, dazed, as Jay padded across the apartment, his bare feet soundless against the hardwood. The dim light caught the damp curve of his shoulders and the flex of his back muscles as he walked out the living room.

When Jay returned, he carried a damp washcloth and a bottle of water, the condensation already beading on the plastic. He knelt beside the couch, his knees pressing into the cushions as he wiped Jungwon's stomach with careful, methodical strokes. The cloth was warm, scented faintly with something herbal, and Jungwon sighed as Jay cleaned him with a focus that bordered on reverence.

"Drink."Jay said quietly after tossing the cloth onto the coffee table. He twisted the cap off the water bottle and pressed it into Jungwon's hands.

Jungwon obeyed, the water cool against his raw throat. He hadn't realized how thirsty he was until the first sip hit his tongue, how thoroughly Jay had wrung him out, both body and soul. When he lowered the bottle, Jay was watching him with an expression Jungwon couldn't name, something between satisfaction and quiet awe, his eyelashes casting shadows across his cheekbones in the dim light.

Jay took the bottle from Jungwon's trembling fingers, setting it aside before sliding back onto the couch. The cushions dipped beneath his weight as he pulled Jungwon against his chest without hesitation, his arms wrapping around Jungwon's waist like they'd done this a hundred times before. Jungwon stiffened for half a second, still unused to being touched so casually, before melting into the contact, his forehead finding the hollow of Jay's throat.

"You good?" Jay murmured into Jungwon's hair, his fingers tracing idle patterns along the knobs of Jungwon's spine. The question was softer this time, layered with something that made Jungwon's chest ache.

Jungwon nodded against Jay's collarbone, his voice still too tangled in his throat to speak. Jay hummed in response, his palm flattening against the small of Jungwon's back like he could press the reassurance straight through skin and bone. The silence between them was warm, thick with unspoken words and the slowing sync of their heartbeats.

Jay exhaled softly, his breath warm against Jungwon's temple as his fingers carded through the damp strands of Jungwon's hair, gentle, unhurried, almost absentminded. The motion was soothing enough that Jungwon nearly missed the tremor in Jay's fingertips, the way his pulse stuttered under Jungwon's cheek where it rested against his throat.

"Cold?" Jay mumbled, his voice hoarse. He reached for the blanket tangled near their feet, dragging it up with clumsy fingers until it pooled around their waists. The fabric smelled faintly of laundry detergent and something earthy, probably Jay's cologne, and Jungwon buried his nose in it before he could overthink the intimacy of the gesture.

Jay's chuckle vibrated against Jungwon's temple, warm and drowsy. "You're clingy when you're tired," he murmured, but his arms tightened around Jungwon anyway, pulling him closer until their legs tangled beneath the blanket. Jungwon made a small, wordless noise of protest. He wasn't clingy, he was strategically maximizing body heat, but the argument died in his throat when Jay's fingers traced the curve of his waist, slow and deliberate. The touch sent shivers skittering down Jungwon's arms, his skin still oversensitive, still humming with the aftershocks of what they'd done.

The silence stretched, thick with unspoken words, but Jungwon couldn't bring himself to break it. Not when Jay's heartbeat thudded steadily beneath his ear, not when the warmth of Jay's body seeped into his bones like sunlight. He traced idle patterns across Jay's chest, his fingertips brushing the faint scars and moles scattered there.

Jay's fingers tangled in Jungwon's hair, tugging just enough to make him look up. "You thinking too loud," Jay murmured, his voice rough with exhaustion. His thumb traced the curve of Jungwon's cheekbone, lingering where a flush still stained his skin.

Jungwon swallowed. "I just-" His voice cracked, the admission lodged somewhere between his ribs. How did you put this into words? The way Jay had looked at him like he was something precious, the way his hands had gentled after, the way Jungwon's chest ached now in a way that had nothing to do with physical pleasure.

Jay waited, patient as ever, his gaze steady even as his fingers trembled where they carded through Jungwon's hair. The apartment hummed around them, the distant whir of the refrigerator and the occasional creak of old pipes, but Jungwon barely heard any of it over the roar of his own pulse.

"Talk to me," Jay murmured finally, pressing a kiss to Jungwon's temple that lingered too long to be casual. His palm slid down Jungwon's spine, warm and grounding.

Jungwon's breath hitched, caught somewhere between his ribs and throat, as Jay's fingers stilled in his hair. The silence stretched, thick with everything he hadn't said yet. He swallowed hard, pressing his forehead to Jay's collarbone like he could borrow courage from the steady pulse beneath his skin.

"You're gonna make me say it first, huh?" Jay murmured, his voice rough with something that wasn't laughter. His thumb brushed Jungwon's lower lip, lingering like he was memorizing the shape of it.

Jungwon's chest tightened. "Say what?" he whispered, though he knew what. God, he knew. He had been thinking about this since the first time he saw Jay, how could he not know.

Jay exhaled through his nose, his fingers tracing the curve of Jungwon's jaw. "That I've wanted this," he began slowly, "since you walked into Heeseung's party wearing that stupid striped sweater."

Jungwon blinked. "That's, you remember-?"

"You kept pulling at the sleeves," Jay continued, thumb brushing Jungwon's bottom lip. "Like you were nervous. It was fucking adorable."

Heat crawled up Jungwon's neck. "I spilled soju on it."

"And wiped it with napkins until they disintegrated." Jay's grin was crooked, his fingers carding through Jungwon's hair. "I thought about offering you my jacket. Didn't."

"Why?"

Jay's gaze flickered away, a rare hesitation. "I chickened out."

Jungwon snorted. "You chickened out?" The Jay he knew walked into lectures late with coffee stains on his shirt and dared professors to call him out. The Jay who'd just fucked him senseless without breaking eye contact.

Jay's thumb traced the shell of Jungwon's ear. "Yeah. You were-" His breath hitched. "Bright. Like staring into the sun."

The words lodged in Jungwon's ribs. He pressed his forehead to Jay's sternum, inhaling the scent of sweat and weed and something warm beneath it. "You could've just talked to me."

"I did." Jay's chuckle vibrated against him. "Borrowed your eraser in calc just to hear you say 'sure' in that polite voice you use with strangers."

Jungwon's breath caught. He remembered. That day Jay's fingers brushed his palm, and the way his stomach swooped was embarassing. He'd written it off as calculus-induced nausea.

Jay's thumb traced the hinge of Jungwon's jaw. "You kept biting your lip when you concentrated. Drove me insane." His voice dropped. "Still does."

Heat pooled low in Jungwon's gut. He caught Jay's wrist, pressing a kiss to his pulse point. The beat stuttered beneath his lips. "You never said anything."

"Neither did you." Jay's fingers tightened in Jungwon's hair. "But you're here now."

The unspoken "stay" lingered. Jungwon exhaled, letting his body mold against Jay's. The couch springs creaked beneath them, the blanket tangled around their legs. Jay's heartbeat steadied under Jungwon's palm, slow and certain.

Jay's fingers stilled in Jungwon's hair, the silence between them stretching taut like a wire. Jungwon could hear the hitch in Jay's breath, too controlled, and knew, with sudden clarity, that Jay was waiting. The realization sent warmth pooling low in his stomach, his chest tight with something he couldn't name. He pressed his lips to Jay's collarbone, tasting salt.

"I like you," Jungwon muttered into Jay's skin, the words muffled but unmistakable. He felt Jay's breath catch beneath his cheek, the fingers tangled in his hair freezing mid-stroke. The admission hung between them, simple, terrifying in its honesty. Jungwon braced for laughter, for deflection, but Jay's thumb only traced the shell of his ear with deliberate slowness.

"Took you long enough," Jay murmured, his voice rough with something that wasn't teasing. His palm slid down Jungwon's spine, pressing until their bodies aligned from chest to thigh. "I like you too. Obviously."

Jungwon snorted, pinching Jay's side just to hear him yelp. "You couldn't lead with that before fucking me senseless?"

Jay's laughter vibrated through him, warm and unguarded. He caught Jungwon's wrist, pressing a kiss to the frantic pulse there. "Would you have believed me?" His smirk was audible. "You thought I invited you over for calculus."

Jungwon's cheeks burned. He'd definitely packed his textbook, just in case, and he felt so stupid after Jay's admission. Jay's fingers tightened around his wrist, tugging until Jungwon looked up. The playfulness in Jay's gaze had softened into something unbearably tender, the same look he'd worn when Jungwon had arched beneath him, breathless and begging.

Jay's fingers carded through Jungwon's hair, his touches growing sluggish. "Go to sleep now," he murmured, lips grazing Jungwon's temple. "I've got you."

Jungwon wanted to protest, to chase the drowsy confessions lingering between them, but his eyelids were impossibly heavy. The last thing he registered was Jay's arm tightening around his waist, pulling him flush against the warmth of Jay's chest. Their legs tangled under the blanket, Jay's knee slotting between Jungwon's thighs like they'd been shaped to fit this way all along.

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹