Archive of Our Own

The soft warm light given off by the small round lamp by the bed was soaked up by the black wood of the walls & floor, with the tiniest little glint shining off the fine golden lines that trimmed them, making the whole room dim and subdued. Warm and cozy and pleasant. The gentle lights all around shone against & illuminated the shiny white porcelain mask half-buried in the soft pillows on the large wide bed.

Under the crimson silk covers, barely taking up any space on the large bed that was far too big for her, was a small body of shiny red ribbons, bundled together and curled up tight. Gangle murmured into her pillow as her eyes, large round black discs on the fragile mask that was her face, fluttered open groggily. Thankfully, the lights of her room didn't burn her tired eyes, but instead made it oh-so easy and tempting to just slip back into sleep and dream something pleasant for a little longer. Not wanting to get up to face the day just yet, she blinked and rubbed the sleep from her face with ribbon hands that were like dove-tails, and she looked across the room to her desk sat against the wall with all the papers, pens, and pencils strewn across it, with even more spilling across the floor.

Every piece of paper, whether they were large sheets or little sketchbook pages, were covered in all sorts of drawings. Etched onto the paper in pencils, both black and coloured, were drawings of herself, sketches of the different sights to see on the Circus grounds, and portraits of the other colourful residents she had as neighbours and sometime-friends. She drew close-ups and everyday poses of the others with as much detail as the cartoonish world allowed them to have, though Gangle took some creative liberties by styling their clothes or accentuating their features. A lot of the drawings were lazily done, scrawled down quick by her, almost absent-mindedly as she stole glances at them from a distance while they talked to each other or busied themselves with their hobbies or playing games. In some of the drawings she done of them, they were sketched just as Gangle saw them, but in others, she let her imagination fly and creativity flow, depicting them as super-heroes or fantasy characters or in whatever fictional outfit or scenario she could imagine them in. Most were drawn in varying manga styles, all sharp edges, dramatic poses, dressed in flashy clothes with elaborate hair and big bright detailed eyes. The wall above the desk was papered in hundreds of other drawn pages too, all pinned to the black wood and overlapping with each other in an, admittedly, pretty disorganised mess.

Gangle's mouth, a thin line on the mask, had curled up into a small content smile as she rolled over onto her back, giving out a little squeak of a moan when she stretched out her thin ribbon legs and getting them tangled under the bedsheets, but she didn't mind. With a sigh she looked up. On the ceiling above her bed, she had pinned a large piece that she was the most proud of. After days, maybe even weeks, of linework to get it just right, drawing and redrawing it over & over, abandoned then restarted more times than she could count, Gangle had finally finished it only recently and she really couldn't be happier with it. It was an illustration of her and her best friend Zooble, her arms wrapped around the bean-shaped torso of her mix-and-match toy friend, their colourful & oddly shaped arm draped around her shoulders. Hands raised as if they were both waving, they both smiled down at her bed happily. Gangle clutched the sheets to her chest as her smile widened, and she beamed up at the drawing. There was still some free space on the walls of her room where she could have pinned it instead, but it was such a lovely thing to wake up to first thing in the morning, and looking up at it at night made falling asleep that little bit easier. It wasn't really the drawing though. It was them. Not herself and Zooble both, as a pair, no... it was... just... them.

Gangle sighed. And stared, stared deep into the round asymmetrical eyes of her friend, the part of the drawing that she had spent the most time on to get just right, and she could feel the smooth white cheeks of her mask flush red and the empty space in her body of coiled ribbon where her stomach should be begin to flutter. More than once she had asked Zooble to sit for her while she drew them, and those drawings always took the longest. She always wanted to draw them as best she could, but she would make mistakes constantly, her dove-tail hands trembling while she struggled to hold the pencil, only lifting the graphite tip off the paper whenever she took another look at Zooble. Those achingly long glances. Like she couldn't take all of them in unless she stared at them for ages at a time. Somehow, Zooble seemed not to mind or even notice just how long it took Gangle to draw them, or the ribbon girl's more-than-usual nerves, or the perpetual pink hue on her mask's cheeks whenever they had been around her lately. But Gangle was painfully aware of it. She loved being around them, just their presence was one of the few things she enjoyed in the Circus, but she dreaded it too, fearing the day Zooble would notice how weird she was being whenever they were close by.

She let out a frustrated sigh and gripped the sheets tighter to her chest. If she had had teeth, she'd be biting her lip or gritting them together. She didn't want to ruin anything by asking the question. God, like she could even work up the nerve to ask it. But it was gnawing at her, turning the ribbons of her gut into tight & twisting knots. She so desperately wanted to, needed to. She had to know. But she was full of fear, terrified at the idea of isolating them or making things irreparably awkward between the two of them, so here she'd lay, knowing that it was nothing more than a silly sweet daydream. Gangle groaned as she covered her eyes with her hands. She couldn't. She wanted to cry and just hide under the bedcovers until the awful, yet somehow lovely, ache left her. That hadn't worked on any of the other mornings yet, when these thoughts and feelings would overwhelm her, but maybe this one would be different. She sank down and pulled the sheet over her head, knowing it wouldn't.

Even in the dark with her eyes squeezed shut tight, Gangle could still see Zooble, the pink triangle they had for a head leaning in so close to Gangle's face that she could almost feel their absent breath, and their deep voice came swimming up to fill her non-existent ears, whispering her name. She could almost feel Zooble's hands as the gently cupped her mask, their fingers trailing down to brush against her ribbons, both of them breathing deep and low, not even inches from each others' face. Gangle mumbled meekly to herself, trying to push the desperate thoughts away and quiet her hopeless imagination before something far more lewd could creep it's way into her head, like it had so many days & nights past.

Then there was a sound, coming from outside. Gangle blinked out of her flustered daydream, and peeked her reddened face out from under the covers to hear better. Muffled thuds and crashes. More and more. Not something falling, no, something violent. She prayed it wasn't Jax, because if it was, then no doubt he'd turn his attention to her and come barging into her room to torment her. But listening a little more, no, it wasn't outside her door. She listened harder. It was coming through the wall covered in her drawings, from the room next door. Zooble's room? What sounded like a shout or cry came next. She gasped. Zooble.

Gangle threw herself out of bed and almost tripped over herself as she hurried to the door. She opened it quickly and slipped out into the high-ceilinged hallway, the gaudy colours all around and the harsh bright lights above stinging her eyes after the relatively calming darkness of her room. There was no sign of anyone else in the hall, no doors opening or heads peeking out from the other rooms to investigate the commotion. With a couple of quick strides, Gangle's silken ribbon-end feet glided across the floor soundlessly to the room next to hers. Zooble's room. The sound of shouts & crashing were louder now. Looking up with wide eyes at the pretty portrait of her pretty friend that was fixed to the wooden door, Gangle hesitated, and her eyes went down to her hand as it hovered over the doorknob. Her breaths came out in shudders, and her dove-tail fingers shook above the brass, dreading what she would see inside. The sound of shattering glass rang out sharply from beyond the door and snapped Gangle out of her trance, and with a ribbon twisting the doorknob around, she meekly slipped her head through into the room.

The place was a mess. Zooble's room was always a little jumbled, just like they were. The walls were covered in a messy pattern of geometric shapes, partly covered by drapes of shiny metallic fabric, and hanging from the ceiling was a colourful plastic chandelier. In a stark contrast to the flashy modernist elements, ancient-looking pillars of white stone sat at each corner, and a marble statue of a beautiful woman was tucked away behind the door. But as messy on the eyes as the room was on a normal day, this morning it was even worse. The walls were scuffed with dark marks, the chandelier hung swinging from it's fixtures, half ripped from the ceiling. The wall drapes were the same, yanked down and hanging limp or piled on the floor. One of the pillars had toppled down to the floor, and the statue lay on the floor, it's head broken off. The mirrors that lined the wall across from the door were cracked & smashed, and among the glass splayed out on the blue carpet flooring were dozens of Zooble's spare limbs and attachments. A leg here, an arm there, every one of them a different shape and style and color from the last. No matter where Gangle looked, she saw more of the discarded parts. The large toybox the pieces were usually stored in was knocked over on it's side in the middle of the room, completely emptied of it's contents. Zooble stood beside it, their shoulders rising & falling with deep angry breaths, and they cried out furiously, sounding like they were screaming through gritted teeth, as they viciously beat the box with a spare leg. Gangle watched, frozen on the spot half-hidden behind the door, as their jumbled-part friend brought the leg down on the crate over and over and over, until they spun on the spot and hurled it across the room with a roar, sending it flying to break in two at the knee against the wall. Gangle shied away as pieces of the limb fell down onto the ground by her feet, only peeking out from behind her cover once she heard Zooble's deep ragged breathing again.

They were hunched over the crate, gripping the edges with a three-digit hand and a mechanical-looking claw at the ends of their arms, and they were panting hard. Exhaustion and fury had taken it's toll on Zooble, and the spotted yellow paintwork of their shiny plastic body was all scratched & scuffed. Gangle stole a look over her shoulder to make sure no-one else had appeared in the hallway, and finding no-one, so she took a deep breath and side-stepped into the room, closing the door without a sound. Standing as still as she could on thin shaking legs, she clutched her trembling hands close to her chest while her eyes were fixed on Zooble. She could feel tears sting her eyes and form on her cheeks as she watched the mismatched toy panting & seething, and those tears fell when she heard them give out a choked sob. It was a strange sound to hear coming from Zooble. Had she heard it right? Was it a sob? Or just a frustrated grunt or growl?

What was now undoubtedly another sob reached her ears, and she felt her heart seize and break, so gathering what little courage she had, Gangle clasped her hands tighter together, and took a couple of timid steps forward. On the third step, her foot accidentally kicked what looked like a plastic lightning bolt and sent it gliding across the floor, and Zooble's head snapped up. In the cobweb of broken glass that remained in one of the ruined mirrors, Gangle's eyes met the fractured reflection of Zooble's. They spun around with a halting gasp, their asymmetrical eyes red and filled with tears that dripped down their plastic face to fall to the floor.

"G... Gan-gle." Zooble croaked with a sniff.

"D-Did... Did s-something happen?" The ribbon girl asked, quietly, full of concern and nerves and fear that she would anger them further.

"Just..." Zooble turned their back to her, hugging themselves as they stepped away from the toybox, "Just get out..."

Gangle's instinct was to comply, to leave them alone and turn on her heel, to run out into the corridor and hurry back to her room to hide under the bedsheets. But she lifted her foot and took another step forward instead.

"D-Do you want to... talk?" Her hands coiled and uncoiled around each other.

Zooble sniffed again and shook their head, "Just go. I don't..." They sighed. "I don't want you to see this. To see me."

Tears were welling up in Gangle's eyes, and she wiped them away with a flicker of ribbon. The door was right there behind her. She swallowed, though she had no throat to do so, and walked timidly away from that tempting escape towards the foot of the bed where a low cushioned bench was placed. She sat down quietly with her hands clasped on her lap, trying to take up as little space as she could. Zooble turned their head and saw that she hadn't left, and they sighed loudly. Gangle tensed at the sound. Was it anger? Or annoyance or frustration?

"Please, Gangle... J-Just go. Leave me alone."

Their voice was hoarse & sharp, biting in a way that made Gangle fight herself to not flinch. She was no stranger to hearing that bite in their voice, though it was only ever directed at Jax or Caine, never at her. Gangle pursed her downturned lips, not daring to even look at her friend.

"Y-You never leave me alone... whenever I have a-a b-bad day." She murmured quietly, looking down at the floor through the tears.

Zooble muttered something under their breath, though Gangle could only make out the jarring sound effect that accompanied Caine's censorship that covered up whatever curse Zooble had mumbled. Their shoulders sagged and they shook their head, angrily at first, then slow and drawn-out. They wrapped their arms around themselves even tighter, and there was a moment of quiet before Gangle heard another awful stifled sob. It felt like something was being stabbed into her chest & gut at the same time when she heard it, deep & twisting, making her feel like she couldn't breathe and was about to throw up.

Tears streamed bright & blue down her mask, and she let them run as she quickly hopped down from the bench, stepping over all the scattered parts & limbs as she crossed the room to reach Zooble. Dipping under their elbow, Gangle slipped around in front of her friend, her silky arms moving liquid & snake-like to wrap around their torso, pulling them into a hug. She pressed her porcelain face against Zooble's crossed plastic arms and squeezed tight. Zooble gasped, murmured the beginning of a protest, and hesitated for only a moment, before they uncoiled their mismatched arms to return Gangle's embrace.

Her head now resting on Zooble's hard plastic chest, she could feel it shudder against her face as her friend broke down in deep heaving sobs. Gangle squeezed her arms even tighter until she began to feel Zooble sink downwards. Her friend collapsed down to their knees in a fit of heart-breaking weeping, and Gangle shifted slightly, her arms slinking up from their chest and coiling around their triangular head to hold it against her body. Gangle's tears ran down her mask to spread on the pink plastic between the empty sockets on Zooble's head, and she could feel the ribbons of her chest getting soaked by Zooble's agonised wails.

They held each other for God-knows how long. Letting go of Zooble was the last thing in the world that Gangle wanted to do, and the feeling seemed to be mutual with the way Zooble clutched so tightly at bunches of ribbons on her back. At some point, Zooble's tears subsided but neither of them let go of each other. Zooble sniffled and panted and breathed heavily against Gangle's chest while she stroked their head with dove-tail hands.

"I hate this." Zooble murmured with a sniff against the red ribbons. Gangle tensed a little. Was this too much? Were they uncomfortable? But Zooble continued, clutching Gangle tight, "I f[#%×]ing hate this b-bull[&>=#] body."

Their voice, always so lovely, deep, and calming to her, had gone raw from all the angry cries and desperate sobs, and now came out all scratchy & strained. Gangle didn't know why she did it, but it just felt right. It was some little bit of kindness, of comfort, that she could give her best and dearest friend. She turned her head and pressed the invisible lips of the mouth of her mask between the empty antenna sockets, giving the pink plastic the softest kiss.

"I know..." Gangle murmured, against the plastic, mouth pressed down.

Another kiss was given, this one a little longer. Zooble went rigid for just a moment before melting back against Gangle's body with a sniff and a sigh. They were silent for a time, just feeling each other breathe and Gangle felt selfish & awful for wanting it to never end. But then Zooble sighed deeply, and their arms let go of her. Gangle unwrapped herself from Zooble's head and her hands found theirs as she took a step back to help them get up off of their knees. Their eyes were red as they looked down at the ribbon girl, but Gangle could tell, despite the sadness and tiredness, that they were giving her a smile. A sad one, but a smile nonetheless. Zooble had no mouth, but with the angle of their floating eyebrows and the squint of their eyelids, she could always tell when they had a smile, even able to tell the difference between a grin or a smirk on their face.

They sniffed, and rubbed their eyes with their odd mis-matched hands, and groaned as they looked down at them. They began to awkwardly walk towards the bench at the end of the bed, the discarded parts crunching & creaking under their strange feet, one shaped like a boot, the other like an animal's paw. Gangle sniffled and followed Zooble, wiping away the tears before they could see what a mess she was in. Zooble sat down hard on the bench as if all the energy had been sapped out of them. They sat back, elbows propped up on the foot of the bed, and they hung their head back to stare at the ceiling. Gangle sat down beside them. She kept the usual space between them that they had always kept when sitting beside each other, then thought better of it and shuffled a little closer.

Her hands were in her lap again, until her gaze was drawn to the mechanical claw Zooble had at the end of her left arm. Gangle reached for it, and wrapped it in a ribbon hand. The flat square fingers closed around the red silk, and the only sound in the room was Zooble's slowing breath. Gangle didn't want to speak. Well, she did, but it would have been awful if Zooble felt like she was pressuring them to talk. Eventually, Zooble sat up with a groan and rubbed their eyes with their free hand, sniffing despite having no nose to do so. They didn't look at Gangle, instead they just stared down at the blue carpet, not looking at anything in particular. Gangle watched, or rather stared at them intently, looking at all their sharp & soft edges, watching the micro-movements of their eyes, and waited for them to break the silence.

"This f[@%÷]ing sucks."

"Yeah." Gangle responded with a gentle hand squeeze and sad, sympathetic smile.

"These stupid parts, this stupid... stupid body." They shook their head dejectedly.

Gangle loved Zooble's body, the whole assortment of different parts they would wear and swap out whenever they desired. She always found herself looking forward to seeing what they had picked out for themselves each day. Maybe it was just seeing them that she looked forward to. But Zooble had confided in her once, weeks ago, about how they truly felt about their parts, and it had made Gangle feel strange & conflicted about her interest in them.

"I know you do." She said in a soft-spoken voice.

She looked around and saw an antenna piece of yellow plastic, shaped like an angel's halo held high on a thin cylinder, peeking out from beneath the bench. She bent down to scoop it up. It was perfect for Zooble. They had helped her in so many ways, so many times, whether it be defending her from Jax or going out of their way to talk her out of her many bouts of misery or even just sitting for an hour or two to draw with her. She'd be so lost without them. Gangle sniffed, the tears coming to her eyes quick as always as she stared down at the halo.

"I... I know it won't mean much, a-and I might not- No, I... I know I don't have the same... i-issues with this stuff as you do," She sighed to stop herself from rambling, "B-But I'm sorry, Zooble. I'm sorry you're in this situation, and... I-I'm sorry it's making you hurt so bad."

Zooble slowy turned their head to face her slightly, and their eyes drifted down to the piece Gangle held in her hand. They blinked slowly and sniffed.

"Your... Your parts might change," Gangle continued, "B-But you don't. You're the same Zooble underneath. And that's... that's what I... I like most about you." Gangle looked up with a sad smile on her face to see Zooble's eyes brimming with tears. "I uh... I l-like you, with whatever parts you chose or none at all."

Zooble blinked and teardrops fell. They stammered and hesitated, and their grasp on Gangle's hand tightened.

"C-" They cleared their throat and sniffed, "Could you... pick some pieces for me?"

Gangle blushed, "Will that help?"

Zooble tried their best to give a shrug, the attempt at casual-ness ruined by their bleary eyes, "Wouldn't hurt."

Gangle nodded and slipped her hand free of Zooble's to get to her feet, holding the halo delicately in both hands. She went to place the halo on Zooble's head as they bowed a little, then paused. Drawing the yellow plastic part close to her, Gangle gave it a small kiss, and then slotted into one of the sockets of Zooble's head. She leaned forward to follow it up with another gentle kiss on their forehead.

She turned quickly so Zooble wouldn't see the pink on her cheeks, and scanned the floor for another antenna piece. She found one, a thin bending pipe of green plastic ending in a round red sphere. It kind of looked like a flower, Gangle thought. She brought it to Zooble, who gave her a tiny smile & nod. She kissed this one too before placing it on her friend's head, following it up with another gentle peck on the forehead. Seeing the pink of Zooble's face darken made Gangle blush harder too. They weren't finished yet.

Zooble always wore a wing of some kind on their right shoulder, and the socket was sitting empty. A white bat-like wing was what Gangle found and, after pressing her lips to it and slotting it in place, she leaned in to kiss Zooble's shoulder. Their breath was short and shuddered against the side of Gangle's mask where her ear would be. Gangle tried to control herself, fighting not to giggle nervously or squeal. Zooble raised their hand, and hesitated for a moment. Gangle tensed with a quiet excitement at the thought of them placing that hand on her. But instead, they reached up to their upper arm, and popped it out of the socket and sat it on the floor, and Gangle spun around to find a replacement.

The back-and-forth went on, Zooble surrendering an attachment so Gangle could find something else to swap it with, and the ribbon girl had to fight to keep the silly grin off her face, but there was no hiding the red splashed across her mask from cheek to cheek. Zooble's face was reddened too, though they kept their head lowered, trying and failing to hide it from Gangle. The new arms were each given a kiss on the back of the white glove hands before Zooble recieved one on each shoulder once the limbs were slotted into the sockets. New legs came next, and Gangle kissed them just above the knees and knelt to slide them into place. She trembled as she leaned in to kiss Zooble's hips, wondering if it would be a step to far to reach the sockets by kissing all the way up their thighs after attaching the legs. She could see Zooble's new hands shake despite them clenching their fists to stop their fingers from fidgeting.

The last part to find was their badge. Gangle knew that Zooble had worn a blue ring-shaped badge most often, but it saddened her when she couldn't manage to find it. Instead she found a diamond, split into red & white quarters. The red matched her ribbons, and the white was as stark as her mask. Was this too much? Too obvious?

She turned slowly, and lifted it so Zooble could see. Their tired smiling eyes were already on her, watching intently from under heavy lids. Their pupils, one solid black, the other a spiral, were wide and dilated as they looked at her for a second, then looked at the badge, then back to her. They nodded with a slow blink and a smile. Gangle was painfully aware of how deeply she was breathing, and after planting a long kiss on the diamond badge, she held her breath as she stooped down to fix it onto Zooble's chest.

It snapped into place like a magnet, and Gangle steadied herself by draping her hands over Zooble's tense shoulders. Zooble still had their hands down on the bench, clutched into fists and pressed down hard into the cushion. Gangle could feel them breathing on the back of her mask, the air travelling down just a little to tickle the back of her neck. There was no way Zooble couldn't feel her almost panting against their chest as she leaned in. The kiss she planted on the yellow spotted plastic beside the badge was gentle & long, and when Gangle drew back not even an inch, there was a soft but audible sound as her lips left their chest. She pushed her head forward again, and gave them another kiss, this one quicker than the last. Her hands shifted closer together on Zooble's shoulders, the dove-tails brushing against either side of her friend's neck.

Zooble gave a breathy sigh, and Gangle gave one of her own as her mouth left their chest again. Soft glove-like hands lifted off the bench, one wrapping around the ribbon of Gangle's wrist to hold it close to their chest while the other tucked it's fingers delicately under her chin. Her face must have been as red as her ribbons when Zooble tilted her head upwards so they were face-to-face. So so close. They looked deep into each others eyes, breaths mingling on their way to touch plastic & porcelain, and both of them blushed fiercely. Zooble took a sharp intake of air, and brought Gangle's face closer. Gangle whimpered quietly and almost yelped when she felt phantom lips press against hers.

The world was gone then, ceasing to exist or matter. The room shrank and disappeared, and it was only the two of them who existed. The two of them, the ringing that came to her ears, and the sensation of the kiss.

Gangle sank into it and against Zooble, her arms coiling around the back of their neck, and their hands left her arm & chin to hold onto her back, their fingers strumming against her ribbons. It was deep & passionate, and both of them murmured and moaned against each other's mouths. Slowly, Zooble leaned back against the foot of the bed, and brought Gangle with them. She hesitated for a moment, but Zooble's hands on her back urged her on. Desperate to not break off the kiss for even a moment, Gangle let them lead her by the lips, and she had to climb up onto the bench to be comfortable, and, nervously, with her heartbeat drumming loudly in her ears, she straddled their hips with her spindly legs. Her mind was racing with a million thoughts & sensations. Was this really happening? Was she still asleep? Was this a dream? Some kind of digital hallucination?

They paused for air, and panted against each other's faces. "Zooble..." Gangle tried, her voice coming out in a tiny stuttering squeak.

She paused when she saw that Zooble's eyes were closed and as they tilted their head again to cut her off with another kiss, they sniffled. Gangle could see the wetness between their eyelids. This... This wasn't right.

They were upset, so so depressed about their body and themselves. And instead of helping or comforting them, her best and closest friend, with kind, understanding words or a comforting hug or even just being there for them, she had instead come into their room, and had used their sadness as a ploy to start kissing them. Weirdo. What the fuck was she thinking? Freak. What was wrong with her? Pervert.

Fresh tears running down her mask, Gangle's lip quivered as she pulled back from Zooble's invisible wanting mouth. They opened their wet eyes and looked at her, confused at her sudden hesitation.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry, Z-Zooble, I..." Gangle spluttered.

She disentangled her arms from around their neck and twisted out from under their arms.

"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!" She rambled as she stumbled to the floor, crawling before scrambling to her feet and breaking into a run.

"G-Gangle! Gangle wait!" Zooble shouted.

But Gangle didn't look back, she wrenched the door open and ran off down the corridor, the doors to the other rooms a blur as she flew past. Her room was in the opposite direction, and right next to Zooble's room. She couldn't go there. Too close. Too close.

She shook her head and sobbed as she fled. She was such an awful friend, using Zooble's misery to get what she wanted. Using them when they were at their lowest to live out some stupid dream, some weird & creepy fantasy. Too scared to be honest and instead taking advantage of them during a personal crisis. She kept sprinting and then she was on the balcony overlooking the cavernous main room of the Circus' Tent. The bright colours of the soft geometric shapes below and twisting pipes above never helped to brighten her mood, and now was no different. She kept running. Kept crying.

It had been an hour or so since Gangle had stopped running. She had just ran & ran, not aiming or thinking to reach anywhere in particular. She just had to get away from Zooble and leave them alone so they wouldn't have to suffer her perverse advances. She couldn't trust herself around them, and they deserved better than that. Better than her.

She had found herself outside the Tent, and now sat hidden behind a tree, soft grass beneath her. She had seen the others all gathered at the stage, ready to go on one of Caine's adventures, and considered joining them just to get as far from the mess she had made as she could, but the thought of being put through the ringer by whatever horrible scenario Caine had dreamt up, all while being tormented by Jax, made her want to throw up with fear. Hugging her legs to her chest and her face resting on her knees, Gangle sobbed and sobbed. She'd ruined everything. Zooble would realise what she had done, what kind of person she was, and they'd never forgive her. Worse, they would think all those kisses to their parts, that affection she'd shown them, was all a lie, and they'd end up in an even more awful state than they already were.

Gangle choked on her cries at the thought of her actions reinforcing and worsening Zooble's issues with their body. It wasn't really a thought though. She knew that's what would happen, and it was all her fault. Zooble, the first person in the Circus to really defend her, help her, care for her, like her, and she'd thrown it all away. They hated her now, she was sure of it. She lay down on the grass, curled in a foetal position and hugged herself tightly. The thin ribbon ends she had for fingers dug deep into the fabric of her arms. She pressed deeper until it began to hurt, then pressed deeper still. She deserved it. She deserved the pain. She deserved to be alone. She couldn't even manage to be a good friend to one person, she just had to ruin it and make it weird. She didn't deserve Zooble. And Zooble sure as hell didn't deserve her. She was such an awful awful 'friend'.

Her tears fell to the grass as she whimpered the occasional 'sorry', and they continued to soak the ground until her throat ached from sobbing and all the energy had left her body, and the sky had turned a purple-black. Gangle stared up at the stars and wanted to sleep. She wanted the ground to swallow her up. When that didn't happen, she slowly got to her feet, her cheeks sticky with tears. She couldn't stay here all night. She imagined Caine questioning her absence before simply snapping his fingers, and then suddenly, she would be there in front of everyone, her misery and shame obvious for all to see and gawk and laugh at. Keeping herself stooped over, all small and pathetic, she trudged back through the canvas doors of the Tent.

She didn't see anyone as she snuck across the floor to the stairs, but she could hear Ragatha talking to someone. She heard her laugh, so it must have been Pomni. Back in the dorm corridor, she eyed Zooble's door, and quickly found the energy to hurry past it without looking to get to her own door. Inside the dimly lit room, she closed the door and locked it before sliding down to the floor, her head in her hands. She couldn't hear any sounds coming from Zooble's room next-door, so maybe they were with Ragatha & Pomni. Feeling a little better with the thought that they were far away from her, where she couldn't hurt or betray their trust more than she already had, Gangle crawled across the floor and climbed into bed.

Her large bed had curtains hanging on poles above it, and she tugged them free from their holdings, drawing them all around to encase herself in a velvet box. Slipping under the covers, her lip quivered as she caught sight of the drawing of her and Zooble hanging above. Burying her face in the pillows, she avoided looking at it, like she would whenever she imagined a monster was in the dark of room, hoping that by not looking at it and pretending it wasn't there, it would go away.

The day of crying had drained her of all energy, and before long, Gangle was desperate to just shut down and sleep. Yet it never came. Every time she would close her eyes and her brain began to switch off, she would see Zooble. Instead of their face being up close like it had been that morning, flushed red and giving her sweet kisses, she would see them in that rage they had been in. But instead of taking it out on their parts and the toybox, they rounded on her, backing her into a corner as she cowered on the floor, calling her all kinds of names. She imagined them spitting insults at her, imagining every angry word they'd throw at her, and she knew in her heart that if - or when - Zooble saw her next, the words and names wouldn't be imaginary, and she would deserve every single one of them. Wallowing in self-inflicted misery, Gangle cried again, her eyes never failing to produce more tears no matter how much she wept. And then there was a knock at her door.

Gangle froze. She recognised the knock, the rhythm of the rap on the wood. It was Zooble. She tensed and shied away deeper into the pillows, trying to ready herself for the yelling she would have to take. Zooble knocked again.

"Gangle?" Came their muffled voice, "Gangle, I know you're in there."

Gangle clutched the edge of her mask, "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry..." She whimpered quietly to herself, trying to drown out Zooble's knocking and their words, hoping and praying that they wouldn't kick down her door and drag her from the bed. "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry..."

"Gangle, come on, I..." She heard them sigh, "I just want to talk..."

There was silence, save Gangle's whimpers.

"Did I... D-Did I do something wrong?" Zooble asked.

That stabbing feeling buried itself in Gangle's chest again and she felt paralysed. What could Zooble have ever done wrong to her? No, she was the one who'd done wrong, she was the one who'd made a bad choice. She'd made the mistake.

"I-I'm sorry if I did, just... J-Just tell me..." Zooble's voice sounded close to the door, like they had their head pressed against it. Were they crying? There was a strain to their words.

With nothing but fear and hesitancy crippling her body, Gangle slowly slipped out from her bed and through its curtains. She wiped her mask as she slowly crept to the door. What if it was a trick? What if Zooble was just pretending so she would open the door? Jax had done something like that before, and had made Gangle regret it. Would Zooble do that to her?

Like she was in autopilot, Gangle readied herself as best she could for whatever punishment Zooble was about to deal out, and she unlocked the door, opening it slightly.

Zooble gave a deep sigh and smiled, "Hey. I've been looking all over for you."

Gangle avoided there eyes, "I was o-outside..."

"Look--"

"I'm--"

Zooble sighed happily, "Sorry, you go first."

Gangle blinked, and dared to look up at them, her lip trembling before her eyes darted to the floor again.

"I-I'm really s-sorry Zooble, I shouldn't have done that. I sho-shouldn't have... kissed you like that. It was wrong. Really wrong. You-you were going through s-something and I... I took advantage. I-I didn't mean to, it was a mistake, b-but still... I did it. I'm sorr-"

Zooble reached forward to grab hold of Gangle's shoulders. She flinched and tried to move away, but Zooble pulled her in close and wrapped her in a tight hug. She felt their lips press against the edge of the top of her mask.

"You didn't do anything wrong, honey... I'm not upset." Their voice was back to being warm and comforting, like always.

Gangle's heart thundered in her chest at Zooble's words. 'Honey' sounded especially nice and sweet. Gangle hesitated for a moment before she allowed her arms to wrap around Zooble's body and hug them back.

"I t-thought you'd be angry." Gangle sniffled.

"I could never be angry at you, Gangle." Zooble whispered, giving Gangle's head another kiss, "I..." Their voice trailed off. Gangle could feel them breathing heavily. "I had a sh[&#%]ty morning until you came along. You... made it..."They sighed and smiled, "So much nicer. Like you always do."

Gangle didn't believe that, but when had Zooble ever lied to her? She sniffed, "Really?"

Zooble squeezed her tighter, "Yeah really." They drew back so they could see her face, "I'm so lucky to have you."

Looking up at them, Gangle blinked at how sweet Zooble was looking at her, their cheeks pinker than normal and pupils taking up so much of their eyes.

"So so lucky." They whispered as they wiped away the tears from her mask before planting a kiss on her forehead.

Gangle's body trembled and she sighed at the feeling of their lips against her mask. Her eyes were closed when she heard Zooble's voice again.

"Could I..." They looked around the hallway quickly, "Could I get another?" They glanced down at her mouth, then back to her eyes, "A... A kiss I mean."

Gangle looked down the hall, then back to Zooble, fearing the worst, "I-Is this a...prank?"

Zooble frowned kindly and shook their head, "Do you think I would do that to you?"

Their hand slid from her shoulder and they held her chin between thumb & forefinger. Gangle prayed this was real. She prayed that Jax or Ragtha or Pomni wouldn't come jumping out from one of the other rooms to point and laugh at her naivety. Shaking with nerves, she nodded timidly, and she held the underside of Zooble's head with her soft hands. Zooble smiled. And leaned in.

Their phantom lips met for the second time that day and Gangle murmured quietly as Zooble began to kiss her. Dread rattled around in her head loudly, and she desperately wanted to open an eye to see if anyone was watching, but every every time their mouths parted, only to meet again a second later, the fear began to fade, and she began to realise what was really happening.

She was kissing Zooble. Again. Twice in one day.

The more the realisation set in, the harder she kissed them and the tighter her arms wrapped around their neck. Zooble broke the kiss off and was panting hard. They both were.

"You're... You're a good kisser, Gangle..." They drawled with a soft chuckle.

Gangle blushed, "Really?" A part of her still expected a prank to be revealed, some revenge for that morning.

"Really. I..." Zooble smiled, almost shyly, if such a thing was possible for them, "I could do this all night."

Gangle squeaked. So could she. God, what a lovely idea. She blinked. And she slid her hands into Zooble's, and took a step back into her room. Zooble didn't move, seemingly frozen on the spot, so she tugged at their arms gently.

Their face reddened and their eyes went wide. "Y-You sure?"

Gangle nodded meekly. Was she really doing this? Oh. Oh wait, she really was.

Zooble took a step, then another. With a third, they were across the threshold and in Gangle's room, shutting the door behind them and fumbling with the lock. Spinning around, Gangle was on her, hopping up to wrap her arms around their neck again and coiling her legs around their body. Zooble practically growled as they felt her mouth on theirs, and they kissed her deeply. Gangle whimpered & giggled as she felt their hands support what little weight she had by clutching her rear. Faces pressed together, their kissed deep and long and hard, Gangle pressing her lips to theirs so hungrily that Zooble almost stumbled backwards. Regaining their footing, Zooble kept the kisses going as they took a step forward, carrying Gangle to the bed.

They sat down hard on the edge where the bed curtains were parted, and Gangle was straddling their lap again. She couldn't believe it. Soon, she thought, she'd wake up and she'd be a sad and flustered desperate mess. Gangle needed more of it, more of Zooble's lips, more of their mouth, their hands. Them.

She trailed a hand up behind their head and pulled it closer, pushing her own head forward as if to lock their lips together forever. Tongues that weren't there coiled around each other, imagined spit mixing together, and moans came from deep down in their throats. Zooble's hands drifted up & down Gangle's back, stroking the back of her neck then plucking the ribbons like guitar strings as they moved downwards to squeeze and clutch at her hips, while Gangle's arms twisted round & round each other and around the back of Zoobles neck, her hands & fingers tickling & stroking their head teasingly.

Zooble leaned back and lay down on the bed, bringing Gangle down with them. Somehow, laying on top of them let Gangle feel even more of their body with her own, and she gave out a little giggled hum of happiness. They parted for a moment, and panted for desperately-needed air against each other's faces in quick shallow breaths. Gangle pressed her forehead to Zooble's, missing their lips already. She kept her eyes shut, wondering if she would finally wake up once she opened them.

"Gangle..." Came Zooble's croaking voice.

Some part of her dreading that she would see nothing but empty sheets in front of her and be alone in bed, groggy with sleep, Gangle opened her eyes painfully slow. Instead of emptiness, her gaze was met by Zooble's flush face and mismatched pretty eyes looking up at her. Gangle's heart skipped a beat and knew it was real. That nasty sabotaging piece of her mind was trying to convince her the kiss had stopped because Zooble had grown bored or had snapped out of whatever confusion had brought them to her door and their lips together again in the first place. She readied herself for the rejection.

"Yeah?" She replied, timidly.

Zooble's hands came up to gently cup her mask and push her back ever so slightly, still keeping her close, their thumb stroking her cheek.

"Thank you. For this morning." They said, their voice slowly returning to the husky tone that sounded like sweet music to Gangle.

Gangle blinked as Zooble's thumbs brushed her smooth porcelain, wiping away the blue tears. "Y-You're welcome." She smiled softly.

"I mean it, honey." Zooble ran a thumb along Gangle's trembling lip and watched her mouth intently.

"I..." Gangle avoided Zooble's eyes for a bit, then looked up. "I t-think you're... beautiful, Z-Zooble."

Zooble's plastic body was tense & trembling beneath her, and their chest shuddered as they tried to form words, tears stinging their eyes. Gangle sniffed to try and control her own as she planted another kiss on Zooble, who moaned and brought their arms up to wrap around Gangle's torso and hold her in a tight hug. Her face was wet with Zooble's tears, mingling with her own and sliding down both their cheeks to soak the sheets beneath Zooble's head. As she locked and twisted her lips with their's, Gangle's non-existent tongue coiled & dragged against Zooble's as she spelled out what she was not brave enough to say yet, giving the words no sound and keeping them to herself. But she knew she had to say it, she had to tell them. If not now, then when? Hauling her lips away, Gangle panted hard.

"Whatever parts you have..." She gave them a quick kiss, "You're s-so beautiful..." Then another.

Zooble sniffled, and stuttered half-formed beginnings to words. Gangle smiled.

"Say it." She murmured, before kissing them again & again, then planting one on the cheek, another above their eye, and then back down to their lips. She pressed her forehead to their's, "Say it." She mumbled against Zooble's mouth.

"You're beau-" There was a smile in Zooble's voice, but Gangle stopped them from finishing the word with her lips.

"No..." She breathed as she drew back, "Not me..."

Gangle looked deep into their eyes and, seeing their confusion, gave them a slow nod of the head.

"M-Me?" Zooble began, hesitating.

"Mm-hmm..." Gangle nodded again and gave them a quick peck on the lips.

"I-I'm... I'm not..."

"You are..."

"Gangle..." They whispered, groaning, moaning.

"Say it..." Gangle kissed the tears on Zooble's cheeks as they fought a sob, their breathing ragged and choked.

"I'm..." They hesitated.

Gangle nodded, urging them on by stroking the sides of their face as she held their gaze.

"I-I'm... Beauti-" They gave out a shuddering gasped and sniffed, "I'm b-beautiful..." They managed, voice cracking.

Gangle nodded her head a few times, grinning, and gave Zooble a flurry of frantic loving kisses, "So beautiful... So beautiful."

"I'm beautiful..." Zooble fought sobs between the kisses.

"You are... You are..."

Zooble's arms tightened even more around Gangle's coiled ribbon frame, and hugged her as tight as they could, lips pressed together. Gangle's hands wandered all over Zooble's head, stroking the antennas and wiping the tears from their face.

"C-Can I... T-Tell you something, Zooble?" Gangle asked, her voice quiet and shy, "It's someth--"

"Please." Zooble answered, their voice tinged with a desperate edge.

Gangle swallowed, trying to calm her thundering heartbeat, and failing.

"I... I think I..." She took a breath, "I think I love you." She kissed them, then shook her head, "No... No, I know I do... I love you."

Zooble sighed deeply as their eyes closed, and when their eyelids drifted open again, Gangle could see the smile in them. "G-Gangle... F[#£*]... I love you too..."

Gangle's wanted to squeal and cry out in happiness, and she wanted to scream and throw up and cheer. If this was a dream, she hoped that she'd never wake up. Just let them both exist in this sweet perfect moment from now until the end of forever. She blubbered with a trembling smile on her mask, and Zooble chuckled as they cupped the back of her head and pulled her in for another kiss. Through the sobs of happiness & relief that heaved through her body, Gangle kissed them back.

"I love you, Zooble..." She murmured, "I love you..."

God it felt so good to say it, and so unbelievably easy now, even better than it had been in her dreams.

"F[~#*]... I love you too, sweetheart..."

She could have died right then after hearing that. Those words, coming from Zooble right here, right now, made her feel like her heart was about to leap out of her chest, and the ribbons that made up her body flickered and rippled like there were a thousand tiny breezes dancing across them. She giggled and Zooble chuckled.

"Can I kiss you some more?" Zooble asked, the words coming from low in their throat.

Gangle grinned, "Yeah, of course..."

But when she leaned in, Zooble put their thumb over her mouth, brushing it against her invisible lips. Gangle's eyes went wide. Was something wrong? Please, God, no. Don't let anything be wrong. Don't end this.

But Zooble had that smile in their eyes as they looked down the bundle of ribbons. They tilted her head back, and leaned their's to the side to drift in and place a kiss on the thin ribbon of her neck. Gangle eeked and melted into Zooble as they pecked at her neck again. Their hands ran down the sides of her torso slowly, so achingly slow, every brush of their fingers on her ribbons making her shudder and tense. Her legs, straddling Zooble's lap, tensed and squeezed at their hips as their hands drifted down to hold her waist. They left her neck alone, and Gangle would have protested, or more likely begged, for them to not stop, to keep at it, but instead she stifled a yelp as she felt their lips press against her shoulder for a couple of long deep kisses, before moving down to work their lips along the ribbon band where Gangle's collarbones would be.

She didn't think her non-existent spine could shiver more than it already was, but Zooble proved her wrong. Their lips against her red silk was electric, making her tingle in ways she had never felt before, not even before coming to the Circus. When she thought it couldn't get anymore intense, Zooble moved down another band, their mouth working at the soft sleek fabric that was still a little damp with their tears from earlier. Gangle's chest heaved up & down with every pant she gave, and Zooble giggled against it. They looked up at her, face red and eyes hungry, to smile at her mask which was almost as dark as her ribbons.

"You're so excited..." They purred.

Zooble kissed her chest again, keeping her eyes locked with Gangle's and when they moved down yet another band, Gangle squeaked.

"I... I h-haven't..." She shied away in a fluster, "B-Before..."

"Hey." They whispered, "Just tell me if you want to stop."

Gangle wanted nothing less than for this to end. She smiled and shook her head meekly.

Zooble grinned as she avoided their eyes. "Don't look away..."

Gangle slowly looked back at them as they gave her another kiss and locked eyes with them. Zooble gave her a sweet growl as they returned to kissing the area where her breasts would be, moving from one side to the other then back again. It was too much to handle, far too much, yet it wasn't enough, not by a mile. Gangle's mind was filled with thoughts of the two of them, all kinds of lewd images of what they could get up to. She tried not to cry when she thought of the fact that it would be impossible, that the Circus' censorship would mean they couldn't go further than this.

She forced that miserable realisation from her mind and hugged Zooble's head closer, getting a murmur of encouragment from her mismatched lover. She kissed away at the space between Zooble's antenna, making them moan into her ribbons. Their grip on her waist tightened and pulled their hips together. It was so obvious how desperate they were, just like her, for something more, something deliciously carnal.

"Zoo-ble..." Gangle said, slurring her words against the pink plastic, "I wish... I wish we could..."

"I know, I know..." Zooble said, quietly in-between kisses, "But..." They raised their head and cupped a hand to her mask. "Let's just enjoy what we *can* do, hmm?"

Gangle gave a breathy laugh, "Yeah, ok... I... I really love you..."

Zooble smiled as they kissed her gently, "Love you too, baby..."

Gangle squealed with delight and breathlessly attacked Zooble's face with kisses until she was panting. Zooble laughter turned into a moan as they buried their face in her ribbons.

"I've... I've wanted this for so long, Zooble." She murmured, thinking she sounded creepy or pathetic.

Zooble chuckled, "I know..."

They gestured with their eyes up to the ceiling where the coloured picture of them both hung. Gangle's mask went flush, and her eyes dropped down and she fidgeted with the bedsheets at either side of Zooble's head between her fingers.

"I'm sorry..." Now she knew she was a weirdo, and they did too.

Zooble smiled, "Hey," they said, their hands clasping the side of her chest, "Don't be sorry. I've..." They chuckled, "I've been wanting this too."

Gangle's face lit up and she smiled. They locked lips and when they drew back, Gangle buried her face against Zooble's shoulder and hugged them tight, her lips peppering the spotted yellow plastic.

Zooble turned their head slightly and whispered close to Gangle's ear, "And let's be honest... That's not the only drawing you've done of me..."

Gangle had drawn Zooble hundreds of times, they were her favorite person to draw in the Circus, but... when Gangle raised her head, Zooble had a look in their eyes. Suggestive, knowing. What did they-

"That sketchbook with the blue cover?" Zooble teased.

Gangle could almost see them biting their lip, where they capable of it. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, trying to ignore the close pressing of her hips to their's, and she covered her eyes, wanting to die from embarrassment.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, that'ssoweirdandwrongandI'mawfulandbadandweirdand--"

Zooble sat up, hands on the small of Gangle's back, and silenced her panicked rambling with a kiss, "I don't mind them, sweetheart... I... I actually kinda like them..." They gave her a reassuring peck on the cheek, "I was just wondering..." That easy laugh slipped into their voice, teasing her, "Would you want to... *recreate* some of those drawings?"

Gangle didn't know if she wanted to scream with panic or excitement, but her heart felt like it was in her throat wither way. All she could do was nod meekly.

Zooble chuckled, "Okay then... And maybe later, I could... pose for you? If you want?"

Gangle was going to pass out. This really was a dream. She stuttered and stammered, all red-faced and panting.

"I'll take that as a yes." Zooble drawled, bringing Gangle closer for a deep and breathless kiss as they laughed.