Chapter Text
"Well, it's not my fault!" Christina exclaims. "I don't have kids! This is, like, exclusively something you get from kids."
"My kids are grown!" Reid points out, before groaning again. "I don't care whose fault it is, I care about finding a place with air conditioning and a bathroom as soon as possible." Victor says before anyone else can argue anything.
"How did we get here…?" Jeremy sighs, sipping from a lukewarm bottle of water.
24 hours earlier
"How many times have you been camping before?" Reid asks Christina, as they set up their big shared tent. "Oh, countless times, I love it! Camping in Hawaii is so much cooler though." She says excitedly.
"Beats Texas humidity any day…" Jeremy mutters.
"We've been here for thirty minutes and Jeremy's already complaining…" Victor teases. "He'd rather it be 15 degrees." Christina says with a laugh.
"That'd be really nice actually-"
"Fahrenheit!" They all yell in unison. "Oh…" Jeremy realizes, going back to the tent set-up with resignation.
Christina frowns, Jeremy is not receptive to their usual jokes…she notes this as abnormal and tries to move on. "You're doing it wrong." She tells Reid bluntly, pulling up his wrongly placed nail.
—
Jeremy does not eat a s'more. This is now an international emergency. Christina needs to find a way to casually ask him if he's okay without embarrassing him before something bad happens.
"Jeremy, do you want to go on a bathroom trip with me?" She asks, finishing her s'more. "Why me?" Jeremy asks.
"Because Reid and Ike went two hours ago." Jeremy seems to accept this answer even though she had completely lied about that. It's another red flag that he doesn't realize she'd just lied to his face.
Thankfully, Reid and Victor don't object, which she probably also needs to speak to them about, because what if she was a serial killer? Luring Jeremy into the woods to murder him? You have to think about these things…
"Are you okay?" She asks once they're a few feet into the woods. "Fine, why?" He turns around to give her privacy. "I don't think you're supposed to lie during a team building exercise…"
Jeremy turns back around when he realizes that she hadn't actually come out here to pee. "Alright, you got me…just not feeling great, I'll be fine in the morning."
Christina sighs, "not feeling great in what way?"
"It's nothing, Christina, it'll be fine." He insists with a long sigh. "Jeremy." She presses.
"My stomach hurts…that's it." She nods, she knew it was a stomach thing…ugh, just her luck. "Do you want to go home?" She asks seriously.
"No! It's really not that bad. Like I said, I'll be fine in the morning." He starts to walk back to their camp, Christina follows reluctantly, "right…"
Jeremy throws up approximately 20 minutes later. "Oh! Okay!" Reid exclaims, having watched in confusion and then horror as Jeremy got up, stumbled around their chairs and promptly threw up harshly.
"Fine in the morning…he said…not that bad…he said…" Christina covers her face with her hands and groans deeply.
"You alright, bud?" Reid calls over his shoulder. "Mmmhmm…" it's unclear whether the noise is meant to be a 'yeah, I'm okay' or an 'I'm dying, call an ambulance.'
"We should go home." Victor says with a sigh. "The sun set, the campground's gates will be closed until sunrise." Christina says with a sigh.
"It's going to be a long night…"
—
Christina sleeps as far away as she can from Jeremy, while still sleeping in the tent. If it were up to her, she'd be sleeping outside, but apparently Reid had a problem with that. Something about kidnappers, murders and getting mauled by wild animals. Unimportant stuff, really.
Unfortunately, Christina wakes up every time someone else does…which is multiple times an hour. The first hour or so, it's just Jeremy who gets up every thirty minutes to puke outside for ten minutes. Victor gets up with him to make sure he doesn't die…Reid sleeps through it all, which is odd.
Until he doesn't sleep through it anymore.
"Reid…" Christina says, her voice laced with sleep, "are you okay?" Reid is staring at the top of the tent, laying on his back, which is extremely out of character.
"…not feeling great…" he admits. Christina sighs, then groans, "are you gonna puke?"
Reid has to think about it, "not right now." That's not an answer that Christina is too thrilled to hear. She doesn't really know what to say to that, but she settles on "You should try and get some rest then."
—
"Christina?" It's Victor that wakes her next. "What happened?" She asks, barely awake and already panicking. "I'm gonna need some help."
She sits up, Reid and Jeremy are both gone. "Yeah," she nods, getting up. She really doesn't want to deal with this right now, but she can't just leave Victor on his own.
It's completely dark outside, apart from their flashlights and lanterns. Jeremy and Reid are both throwing up at the edge of the woods and at the edge of their fire circle, respectively.
"How long has Reid been getting sick?" She asks with a slight frown. "Not long…" Victor walks past Reid to give Jeremy some water.
Christina sits next to Reid as he tries not to throw up again. "Anything I can do?" She asks him. He glances up at her for a few seconds, "oh, Christina, I'm okay, you can go back to sleep."
"I don't think anyone is getting any more sleep tonight." She says with a sigh. "You feeling alright?" Reid asks her.
"You're asking me if I'm feeling okay when there is a puddle of your vomit at our feet…" she almost laughs, it's humorous, but also sweet in a way.
"I'm trying not to think about that…" he groans. "Right, sorry," she winces. "I just…I know you don't like dealing with this…"
She thinks about that for a bit, "I'm okay." She says and it's true, which is kind of strange. "For right now…" she wishes she had some wood to knock on.
He gives her a weak smile, they sit in silence for a while, waiting for Reid's stomach to settle. Crickets and the occasional howl of an animal deep in the woods are the only sounds they can hear.
"You might not want to sleep, but I do." Reid says after a while, getting up and swaying slightly to the side. Christina steadies him by gently taking hold of his arm. She wants to make a joke, but none come to mind so she just helps him wordlessly back to the tent where Jeremy and Victor are already asleep.
—
Christina had no intention of falling asleep, but that's what had happened. She wakes to the sound of bickering outside the tent, which beats the sounds of vomiting any day. It's also light out, which confuses her.
She's tired, she hadn't slept well and part of her wants to go back to sleep. "Christina would agree with me." She hears Reid say. They're not even trying to be quiet. She groans softly, rolling over.
"She would not!" Well, now she needs to know what's going on. She pushes herself up, noticing that they'd already packed up the other sleeping bags.
She climbs out of the tent, squinting against the sunlight. "Sorry, did we wake you?" Jeremy says regretfully, offering her a hand. She doesn't take it, "no, thank you, Patient Zero…" she huffs, standing on her own.
"Someone said my name." She says, looking between her future crew members. "They're trying to place blame." Victor tells her, she furrows her brow. "Well, it's obviously Jeremy…"
"I told you she'd agree!" Reid gives her a wide smile, they both seem to be feeling better. Victor looks pretty green though.
"I really don't care who is to blame, I just want to go home before this actually hits Christina and I." Victor shuts their argument down. "I'm fine." Christina shrugs.
"Good, You're driving." Christina laughs, "alright…"
The drive back to the city is actually pretty uneventful, Christina sings along to the radio as Victor focuses on the road so he doesn't aggravate his already upset stomach. Jeremy sleeps the entire ride and Reid only asks her to pull over once, he doesn't throw up, just pants over the side of the road for ten minutes.
As their phones regain cell service, they find out that multiple people had tried to contact them while they were isolated in the woods and apparently were pretty worried about their "disappearance." Christina finds this a bit odd as they were only gone for 24 hours, but she lets it go.
Christina drops everyone off at their respective residences, then falls asleep as soon as she gets home. She wakes up to a bunch of text messages and a mixed call.
Today 13:29 - Jeremy Hansen
So apparently…Devon has been throwing up since yesterday afternoon
13:30 - Reid Wiseman
I don't want to say it…but…
13:30 - Jeremy Hansen
Yeah, yeah, whatever
13:32 - Victor Glover
Hope he feels better soon
13:32 - Reid Wiseman
And how are you, Ike?
13:35 - Victor Glover
Not dead yet
13:35 - Reid Wiseman
That's the spirit
Today 15:21 - Jeremy Hansen
Anyone heard from Tina?
I would hate to have gotten her sick…
15:23 - Reid Wiseman
I have not…
Earth to @Christina Koch
15:46 - Jeremy Hansen
It's really unlike her to not answer texts
15:47 - Reid Wiseman
I'll give her a call
She did not answer
15:52 - Jeremy Hansen
At what point do we call Bobby?
Or do a house check?
15:58 - Reid Wiseman
Bobby says she's just sleeping
No symptoms
16:00 - Jeremy Hansen
Oh good, okay, I can relax now
16:03 - Victor Glover
Go take care of your sick kid
16:04 - Reid Wiseman
Still okay, Ike?
16:07 - Victor Glover
It's not pretty…
Christina smiles at the messages, just her friends being themselves. It's sweet to see that they worried about her enough to message her husband and make sure everything was okay. She sends a message of her own.
Today 17:36 - Christina Koch
(replying to Reid Wiseman: Earth to @Christina Koch)
I'm okay! I was just tired 😅
Everyone okay?
17:37 - Reid Wiseman
Christina! All good here
17:40 - Jeremy Hansen
No one in my house has thrown up in three hours so I'm taking that as a win
17:40 - Christina Koch
That is a win!
Glad you're all feeling a bit better
17:42 - Reid Wiseman
Ike…I can feel you lurking
17:42 - Victor Glover
This thing is brutal
I'm never going camping with you guys again
But I'm okay
I think the worst is over
Knock on wood
17:43 - Christina Koch
Well, I hope our mission goes better than this…
17:44 - Reid Wiseman
Luckily, we quarantine before that
17:44 - Victor Glover
Sounds like Heaven right now
These people really are the best, Christina thinks.