Chapter Text
Prologue: 21 AC.
21 AC. November 13th...
Our daughter was born, the day was frenzied, noisy... I hated it, that suffocating scene. Footsteps, doctors rushing about, blades, clamps and whatever else they used. The sight of her... covered in blood, that serene stillness broken. As she held NuoNuo, with that tired smile, a heavy weight in her eyes.
Her hands outstretched, NuoNuo before me. I took her in my arms, and was captivated by the sight of her broken calm. Her shaky voice, the bright lights illuminating those stilling eyes... as that calming silence of mutual understanding returned...
"NuoNuo... Wang NuoNuo, that's a good name right Yi?..." She murmured, as I nodded back with a laughable expression... Then she slumped back, the movie had ended, and it was time for the audience to depart.
And then... the silence came, the one following the extinguishing of a life. Familiar, welcoming and peaceful... but heavier... My gaze flickered down to NuoNuo, she too was silent, and then it snapped back to Zhang Lan.
Her still body, the lingering silence of the heart monitor and... the babe. Why does it hurt, this silence, this luxury, that Ghostblade I could only enjoyed with the parting of a life... Why won't it disappear, why can't I scream? Why can't I cry? Even as I open my mouth, the fleeting emotions, meaningless and full. That we can't understand, refuse to pour out from this broken bottle... without a lid, without a soul.
My family was right about me... I do have a problem, I couldn't understand emotions, only what I should do. And what I should do, is to part with NuoNuo, as I have with Zhang Lan... She too has the same problem as I, and so should go to my family where they'll know what to do with her. And yet, I don't want to... let go