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"Lexa, dont do this!“ Indra heard clarke’s voice coming from the commander’s chambers. She was screaming at her Heda. A voice in her head told her to burst into the room and take her as a prisoner, only for daring to scream at Lexa, but she didn’t do it. Lexa’s room was as much Clarke’s as the commanders, Indra knew it all to well.
She remembers the first time she saw the sky commander sneaking out of lexa’s room, very early in the morning. For some readon indra didnt feel shocked, she knew already ofcourse. Indra knew Clarke didn’t just visit lexa to talk about her day, she had heard them, multiple times. Indra wasn’t shocked by this either. It was when Indra came into Lexa’s room late in the afternoon one day, that she was actually surprised by what she saw. Clarke had been curled up against Lexa, her scetching book into her lap. Both of them were fast asleep. That was when Indra knew that soon, Clarke would never spent any minute in her own room anymore. And ofcourse Indra had been right about that.
But right now Indra listened to Clarke’s voice beginning to fill up with anger.
"Why the hell are you sending me away for a stupid readon as “checking up on your people.” I do not need 5 weeks to do so, Lexa.”
Indra chringed. She knew exactly why her Heda was doing this. “Clarke, you are in no position to question me.”
Lexa’s voice was strict and cold. “Your horses and 2 guards will be ready in an hour.”
Indra looked at the door of the room. Should she go in? Should she just wait outside?
The door flew open and clarke stepped out. Her face was filled with many emotions. Love, anger, fear, sadness, disappointment. She turned around in the doorway, facing lexa once again. “I love you, okay? I dont know why you’re doing this, but just remember that.” And with that, Clarke slammed the door and ran away, crying. Indra felt torn. At first, when she learned about her commander’s feelings for the Sky girl, she dissaproved. She did not care about any skaikru at all. She saw what Lexa’s feelings were doing to her. Indra knew it was not good, for both Lexa and Clarke.
But then she saw what happened at mount Weather. She saw the way Lexa’s decision killed her. It killed her to betray Clarke and her people. She watched her commander, every day, when Clarke stayed in polis a few months later. Lexa’s face would light up. She would look strong again.
Indra always said that love was weakness, but this love didn’t made lexa weak, it made her strong.
So when indra stood there, against the wall, looking at clarke running away, she made her own decision. She can’t have lexa throw away her love for that girl, again.
She knocked on the door, hesitately. She heard a soft “Enter” from behind the wall. Indra walked into the room and saw lexa, standing on her balcony with her back to the door. She was looking over Polis. Indra knew it was a way Heda would feel calm again. “Heda” Indra said with a bow. Lexa didn’t turn around.
"Heda, i know you do not care about my opinion on this, but i hope you will listen.“ Indra spoke. Lexa turned around slowly and walked into the room. "Speak”
"Lexa, why are you doing this?“
Indra looked into Lexa’s eyes, green as the forest in bright sunlight but red from crying. She hated to see her commander to be broken like this.
"Love is weakness, indra. It makes me weak, it makes her weak. It will only get us hurt. I cannot have weakness right now.” Lexa said. Indra could see her visibly swallow, and she knew, that even lexa did not completely agree with her own words.
“Heda, i do not wish to see you torn up again. Let me say this; your love for the skygirl is not weakness, it is strength. Is makes you and her strong.”
Indra stepped forward, hoping she had made her point. But she didn’t. Lexa streched her back and looked up to her best general. “Indra, love is weakness. You were right, i do indeed not care about your opinion.” The commander turned her back to indra once more. Indra sighed.
“Lexa, please don’t do this again.” Indra sounded almost like she was begging. Lexa heard it too.
With one move she was turned around to face indra again. “Again? Again? You have no idea why i am doing this, indra. She will get hurt, and it will break me. It will show how weak i was to love again, and how weak i am capable of being. She will be the death of me, if this goes on. She will be my weakness. Love will ne weakness, it is. And i am not going to be weak!”
Lexa screamed the last words. But indra didn’t care. She didnt back away. Her duty was to make sure her Heda is safe and okay. And right now she isn’t, so that’s why she is doing this. As much as she hated to admit it, clarke and lexa were perfect together. She hated it, but she loved it too.
“Then you, lexa kom trikru, are a coward.”
There you had it. Indra said it. She watched lexa’s facial expression turn from disapproving to anger. She was really angry. Indra was scared she’d gone too far. She did. But this was for her commander. This was for all of their people, so indra went on. “Your love, is not weakness. You look stronger when she is here. She makes you feel confident again. She is not your weakness, heda. Clarke kom skaikru is your strength.”
Lexa didn’t move. Indra didn’t move. Moments of silence and angry stares came. Indra could not read her commanders face. Had she really gone too far? Or did lexa agree? Was she going to be killed for this?
But after a time that felt like hours, lexa’s face went from Commander to 19-year old heartbroken girl. “I went too far, did i not?” She spoke. “Indra, what do i do?” Lexa sounded hopeless. Lost.
And Indra felt weird. For the first time in all the years she served for lexa, she felt like hugging the girl. For the first time, she saw lexa as actually just a girl. A girl terribly in love. And it killed her. Indra nodded. “But there is time to save this. She’s at the south- entrance. Go now. Go get your strength."
Lexa nodded. "Thank you, indra.” She said before putting on her heda-face again and running away. Indra remained in lexa’s room, but after a few second she decided to follow lexa. To be sure she’s safe, she told herself, but she knew it was also to see clarke and lexa together. Maybe. She’d never admit it.
Clarke was about to mount her horse when lexa stormed to her. 'Wait!'
Clarke turned around, shocked but unable to hide the happiness she felt. 'Lexa?’
'Im sorry, i, i do not know what got into me. I just don’t want you to get hurt, clarke.’
Lexa stopped and stood before her loved one, just a few inches away. Clarke nodded. 'Because love is weakness….?’ She asked so silently, Indra almost couldn’t hear it. Lexa shook her head slowly. 'No, what i feel for you clarke, is not weakness. It will never be weakness. You, clarke of the skypeople, you are my strength.’
Clarke smiled. 'You’re an idiot, you know that?’ She said before pulling a smiling lexa into a kiss.
And although Indra was supposed to show no emotion at this scene and is supposed to have to no interest in her commanders love life, she could not help but smile.