Chapter Text
They were planning a coup. The Uchiha clan elders had finally convinced the clan to agree, and even Itachi's father had finally given in and was now supporting the coup. The Uchiha clan wanted to overthrow the village leadership and take over.
"What the actual fuck were they thinking?" Itachi thought, walking as fast as he could beside Shisui without arising any suspicion from his clan.
Shisui gestured with his head towards one of the hidden training grounds tucked away that they had found.
Yeah. That would probably work.
Itachi and Shisui disappeared into the woods on the edge of new Uchiha compound, ducking under a small stone bridge and laying down temporary privacy seals so they could talk in private.
"Fuck. Itachi, what the fuck do we do?" Shisui groaned, dropping his head into his knees.
"I.. I don't know Shisui. I love this village and our Clan, but.."
Shisui's head rose up and nodded. "Yeah. I know. I can't choose between them either. This coup is fucking idiotic. There is no fucking way that the Clan can stand up to every single ninja in this village, completely ignoring that the Hokage exists. I don't know what they're thinking, Itachi."
"They're upset." Itachi said simply.
"Yeah sure they can be fucking upset, but trying to overthrow the village? I think the elders are just downright idiotic! They've been off the battle field for too long and they're glorifying the fucking sharingan like its going to gain a physical form, turn into a massive Kami and blow up all of their enemies. I have no idea how they even got the rest of the Clan to agree with them."
"The Clan is tired of being mistreated and isolated and they're lashing out. They've been pushed out of the homes they grew up in and the homes they raised their children in. Not to mention that the villagers have started being upset just at the site at Uchiha Clan people. Every time the Clan is seen in public, someone discriminates or disparages them. No wonder while they are upset." Itachi frowned. "But this will ruin the Cla n forever if they go with it. And my little brother will be ruined. I'm sure they won't let the main family live after an entire coup was planned and executed."
"You know that means you'll die too right? You are literally our heir." Shisui frowned at him.
"Not the point Shisui."
"Of course it's the point!" Shisui whisper yelled. "I don't want you to die you idiot!"
Itachi smiled softly. "Yes well if we let this coup go on, we will probably land in T&I. Or in a mass grave."
Shisui's face contorted. "Then what the fuck do we do? Do we go tell someone?"
"I guess so?" Itachi sighed. "But who should we even tell? The Jounin Commander? The Clan Council? Maybe even the Sandaime Hokage himself?"
"…" Shisui paused. "Yeah I don't know about them. Remember the kiddo?"
"Minato-san's kiddo? Of course I remember Naruto-chan!" Itachi frowned. "What do you mean though?"
"Well." Shisui grimaced. "Considering Naru-chan is quite literally taking care of himself at what? Six years old? He's all alone in that apartment of his and he has to take care of himself. We aren't even allowed to cook for him. Not to mention all those assholes who keep on breaking in his house and wrecking all of this things."
"Exactly!" Itachi grumbled. "Poor Taichou can't even take care of him! Naru-chan is barely younger than Sasuke, and he's all alone. He's the Minato-sama and Kushina-san's son and he's neglected beyond belief. The Sandaime won't help him at all or stop anything, it pisses me off!"
Shisui grimaced. "Yeah it pisses me off too Itachi. It's not right at all."
"I heard the rumours that were spread about Naru-chan were all spread by Elder Danzo."
"The rumors about Naruto being a demon child? Danzo? Isn't that the Sandaime's friend? Is he seriously letting the Yondamines child suffer ridicule and abuse just because he wants to protect his old decrepit friend? Seriously?" Shisui asked incredulously.
Itachi nodded. "That's just what I overheard from ANBU gossip. I'm more inclined to believe them over the regular Jounins. They have the decency and experience to not think a six year old child is a fucking demon. Not to mention most of them know what a fucking Jinnchuriki is! Don't know why the village thinks Chunnin opinions are worth their two cents over strong Jounin but what do I know?
Shisui rolled his eyes. "Thank fuck we don't have to deal with them that often. Fucking career Chunins who can't do anything but sit on their asses and gossip."
"You're pretending like the ANBU don't choose to gossip any time they can."
"Well at least they're competent at least. Gossip is fun when you actually can get good information." Shisui's eyes widened. "Wait!"
"What?"
"That's it! Taichou! We can ask him for help!" Shisui cheered.
Itachi grabbed onto Shisui. "I can't believe you used your head! And.. and you had a good idea!"
Shisui's jaw dropped and he shoulder checked Itachi. "What the fuck you ass?! I can't believe you actually made a joke!"
Itachi laughed in his face and shouldered him back. "Sometimes you deserve it! Now c'mon we have to go! Taichou is his place isn't he? We can just go straight there."
Itachi stands up and tugs Shisui to his feet and rips off the privacy seals from where placed them. "Come on get up! Let's go already!"
Suddenly Itachi's stomach growled embarrassingly loud and his pale porcelain-like face flushed red. Itachi felt greatly embarrassed by his stomach and asked if they could eat something before they found their ANBU leader.
"You just want dango don't you!" Shisui teased, laughing, and reached out to mess with Itachi's neat hairstyle.
"SHUT!" Itachi yelped, batting away Shisui's offending hands. "Get them away you ass!"
Shisui kept on laughing at a pouting Itachi as they exited the forest and started walking through Konoha with purpose, waving at the friendly faces that still felt happy to see Uchiha faces. They ducked into the dango shop and ordered some in to-go packages and went to a small shop to buy caramelized eggplant fritters to possibly bribe their Taichou.
The Uchiha cousins jump up onto the roofs and peered into their Taichou's apartment window and shook their heads at each other in disappointment when they couldn't see any movement.
Itachi jumped down from the window onto the neighbouring building. "He isn't here"
"Yeah obviously! It's a definitely not a wonder how people call you a genius."
Itachi raised his middle finger at Shisui and dragged him towards the memorial stone. That was usually where they could find their Taichou if he wasn't on a mission or dodging the mednin.
"Taichou?" Shisui called out as they walked towards the meadow surrounding the memorial stone.
"Hm? Shisui?" Kakashi tilted his head towards and opened his eye slowly. "And Itachi too? What on earth could you coming to little old me for? It's not like we have a mission anytime soon, the team is still on mandatory rest in the village."
"Yeah we know. But Taichou—" Itachi started, letting Shisui take over.
"We actually came to talk to you."
"Oh?" Kakashi stood up and brushed off his pants. "Would I be correct to say that this should be a more.. private, let's say, conversation."
"That would be nice, thank you Taichou." Itachi smiled.
"Didn't I tell you two you could call be Kakashi when we aren't on missions? I swear I did."
"Yes Tai—, Kakashi-san." They chorused.
"Don't think I didn't catch that boys. Also drop the san its far too formal for what our relationship is. You've both lugged me around while I'm down with Chakra exhaustion." Kakashi raised his eyebrow. "Now come on. Both of you have the access key for my apartment on you right?"
Itachi looked at Shisui who was rapidly paling and pretending like he wasn't.
"Kakashi, he totally doesn't have it." Itachi snitched.
"You little brat—" Shisui hissed, launching himself at his younger cousin.
Kakashi rolled his eyes fondly and caught Shisui by the collar and lifted him up like he was a misbehaving puppy. "That's enough for you mister. Your cousin is just baiting you-, haven't we gone over anger management?"
Shisui pouted, still hanging in air jail. "Yes…"
"So why are you still falling for it whenever your cousin baits you?"
"Because he's a little bitch." Shisui grumbled petulantly, and tried to lunge at a Itachi who was laughing at him.
"Uh-uh. We do not attack teammates."
"Not even when they're being assholes?"
"Even when they're being assholes. If I can put up with Genma, you can put up with your cousin!"
"Fine…"
"I am going to put you down now, and if you do anything, I'm getting the pack to sit on all of your limbs for the rest of the day."
Shisui pouted and nodded, letting out a little cheer when his feet hit the ground. "I'll behave…"
Kakashi unlocked his apartment, went in to grab a disinfected kunai and handed it to Shisui before he could come in. "If you don't have your pass, then you're getting a blood seal so my defences don't burn you alive."
"…They can do that?" Shisui paled and grabbed the kunai, smearing a drop of blood on the seal to deactivate the defence system so it wouldn't smite him.
Kakashi laughed and closed the door behind him, going to the windows so he could close them before he started talking. "Well, mine can't burn you alive, they might disfigure you permanently though! Should of seen Kushina-nee's defensive seals, those were dangerous to say the least." He chuckled and got lost in the memories. "I once saw her seal; chain someone up, lift that person up, SLAM, that person into the group, pull him back into the air and repeat that about six times."
"That person barely survived. The only reason they did was because T&I interfered because it was someone from Kiri and they wanted to interrogate them." Kakashi opened a cabinet. "There was a lot of blood. Also do you two want something to drink?"
"Just water please." Itachi asked politely, perching on the couch and pretending like he wasn't kicking his feet back and forth.
"Yeah water is good for me too, thank you very much Kakashi."
"Oh look at you two being polite. Maa~ this must be an important conversation huh?" Kakashi eye smiled.
Shisui eyed Itachi and gestured for him to start talking.
Itachi pouted. "Fine.." He turns towards Kakashi who sat down on the old sagging armchair across form them. "Well—"
"The Uchiha Clan is planning a coup!" Shisui blurted out.
"Seriously?"
"I'm sorry Itachi, but you were taking five MILLION years to tell him!"
"Pups." Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. "Enough please."
"Yessir."
"Good. So a coup huh?" Kakashi sighed. "I assume this has to do with the blatant discrimination your Clan has been facing since Minato-sensei died."
"Hit it on the mark Kakashi." Shisui grimaced. "The Clan Elders have been trying to plan it for a while but earlier today Itachis parents agreed.."
"So the Clan will move with their Clan Heads opinions and a Uchiha Coup is now underway." Kakashi sighed, stirring his tea with a teaspoon. "So what do you want to do?"
"We.. don't know. We came to you for help honestly." Itachi whispered, tapping his painted nails together nervously. "If this coup goes underway.."
"We'll lose." Shisui stated simply and shrugged. "They'll be plenty of casualties, mostly on our side if I had to guess. I think it's stupid but Itachi would probably get executed on principle because hes the Clan heir and I don't really want him to die."
"I don't really want to die. Not right now at least." Itachi added. "But they would probably either kill or manipulate Sasuke and I really don't want him to be hurt. My sweet little brother will be in so much pain, and I won't be able to protect him."
"Just like how I can't protect Naruto." Kakashi whispered to himself. "What do you want to do?"
"I have an idea." A fourth voice called out climbing through the window and helping three more figures into the apartment.
"Genma? Yugao and Raido? Tenzo? What are you four doing here?" Kakashi asked calmly while the cousins paled dramatically.
"Helping you make a decision Kakashi!" Raido rolled his eyes.
Yugao smiled at the cousins and rolled her eyes fondly, shoving them sideways so she could sit on the small couch. "What were you two expecting Team Ro to not support you two? Y'all are our youngest—"
"And cutest." Raido added, laughing. "Seriously did you two think we weren't going to help?"
Tenzo nodded. "We'll help plan whatever we need to do."
Shisui beamed at them and hugged Yugao from the side. "Thank you, thank you!"
"So." Tenzo asked stoically. "What are we planning?"
"We don't know." Itachi said. "Sorry."
"It's fine. You're okay, its fine."
"What if we left?" Genma said considerably.
"Left?" Itachi's eyes widened in surprise.
"Yeah. What if we just left?" Genma continued, counting off on his fingers. "Shisui's priority is Itachi, Itachi's priority is Sasuke, and Yugao, didn't you steal that tiny cute pink girl? Kakashi only thinks about his little brother, and other than those people, we are sitting next to all of the people we care about."
"So. Why don't we—"
"Just leave?" Kakashi tilted his head and thought about it.
"Huh. That makes sense." Tenzo added. "We could just leave. You're right. We are strong enough to take care of ourselves, and probably can just fend for each other."
"So. Let me get this straight. You want to steal three children, one being the Jinchurriki of the nine-tails, and run away." Kakashi's eyebrow raised.
"Well." Kakashi muttered. "Why not I suppose."
Kakashi stood up and grabbed a scroll to write on.
"So Team Ro will be kidnapping three children and running away? All in favour?"
Everyone raised their hands and nodded.
"Right. Let's start planning why don't we?" Kakashi said. "We need enough supplies for ten people to run away from Konoha and escape anyone they send after us. We also need to collect as much money we can get, and withdraw it or move it to another bank outside of Konoha's control that we can access when we run away. We also need to manage to grab and take care of three six year olds while on the run. Not to mention somewhere safe to stay."
"Any ideas?"
"I can't believe we're doing this." Shisui muttered.
"Eh." Yugao shrugged. "Seems pretty understandable to me. We all know Kakashi is only here because he is attached to Naruto and us, without that, he's only attached to Konoha through his rampant guilt complex that is still effecting him today. Genma and Raido will follow Kakashi because they're still effected by Minato-sama's death and therefore are emotionally attached to his children. Tenzo is only prevented from running this village over with plant power by the seal on his tongue and Kakashi holding him back.
I don't really give a shit about these assholes, especially considering I've been forced to watch these absolute heels verbally and physically abuse a six year old. I can't even do anything about it because of our fucking leader being like no you can't help the abused child!"
"Don't fucking piss me off! My small little pink child is being neglected and abused by her parents, it's pissing me off and if y'all want to leave, I'm leaving too! So fucking what if I become a traitor, I don't fucking care!"
"Goddamn Yugao. You don't usually get worked up like this. Also shut the fuck up about my guilt complex. What the fuck."
"Well. Apparent-fucking-ly abusing children pisses me off. Who knew? Also of course I know about your mental problems! It's fucking obvious. We're all child soldiers who work for a military encampment! There aren't that many categories of trauma we don't have!"
"Okay!" Kakashi clapped his hands together and burned the scroll with their plans on it. "Team Ro, our plan to abandon this fuckass village is now a go! Tenzo, can you make wood clones to replace us for a bit?"
"Yes. I can do this."
"Yugao, go with Tenzo and grab two clones so you can replace yourself and your pink child. Itachi, Shisui, go back to the Uchiha Compound and pack your supplies into storage scrolls. Maybe start thinking of ideas how to get Sasuke out of the village, because I don't know how you're making it through Mikoto with her child but you've got this. We have two weeks right? Before the planned Coup date?"
"Yeah. Two weeks."
"I'll start trying to get Naruto to be okay with coming along with us, the rest of you take care of gathering money and supplies of your own."
"Yes sir." Team Ro saluted. "Sounds good Taichou!"