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It was an average day in Hell. No seriously, just an average day: the glaring red sky was devoid of chirping, the Pride Ring was full of choking smog lile always, and the sinners were busy killing each other and everyone else. So all in all, nothing for Blitzø Buckzo walking down the streets of Imp City to care about nor be concerned with, no siree! Unlike a certain princess of Hell, he had zero empathy for the damned souls of humanity, and why should he? Not only were they unlikable criminals, the High King Lucifer had elevated them above the actual hellborns! But we're getting off track.
In any case, Blitzø was heading down to I.M.P. HQ, fresh off another date with his steady girlfriend Verosika Mayday. Yes, the succubus pop star. Even now, he still couldn't believe how insanely lucky he was to bag her—though perhaps admitting his insecurities to her instead of wasting her credit cards on horse memorabilia helped in that (and what a shameful thought that brief idea was). Blitz slammed the door open with his usual goofy grin on his face. "Alright M&Ms, I just had the best fucking date ever and I am PUMPED & READY for some killing! Where's the next client?!"
His subordinates, Moxxie and Mildred "Millie" Knolastname, just looked at him blanky. "Uh, sir," Moxxie began, "there is no client."
Blitzø stared at Moxxie. "…fucking whuh?"
"Like I said, sir," Moxxie said, "there's no client. It's been a dry week; why do you think there's only been less jobs than usual?"
"But on the bright side," Millie butted in, "we've got the whole day free for our double date! Ya remember that, right Blitz? The one Verosika invited us to?"
Blitzø's attitude brightened up again. "Wait, I get a two-for-two?! FUCK YEAH! Eat shit, Fizzarolli!" Far away in the Lust Ring, a certain cyborg jester imp sneezed at the worst possible moment and ruined his night's mood. Back at I.M.P. HQ, Loona Buckzo—Blitzø's adopted daughter—overheard the commotion with her usual brand of semi-apathy. "So… do I get the apartment for myself tonight?"
"NO BOYFRIENDS!" was her father's only confirmation.
The bar for tonight's double-date wasn't particularly special. Hell, most places like it were of the same quality: absolute dogwater. But in this one's case, the owners had gone out of their way to clean it, if only because the high amount of drunken sex on-site meant a washdown was necessary at a certain point.
Nevertheless, the two couples were enjoying themselves, whether it was using the karaoke machine, making fun of the other patrons, or whatever the denizens of Hell do for fun exactly.
And as you might expect, the three imps + succubus were already drunk.
*Hic* "Maaaan, Blitz, how'd someone like y-you get a fiiiine piece of ass like V-Verosika?" Millie drawled out. She was red in the face, and bot because all imps had red skin. Blitzø didn't answer back—he was stuffing his tongue in his girlfriend's mouth, and vice verse, so neither of them heard Millie's question.
Moxxie was the only one with a clear mind, on account of drinking water in-between his alcohol. He turned to Millies and said "Honey, I think our boss is a bit, ahem, busy."
"But it's a genuine question!" Millie shot back. "Verosika is the hoootest fucking popstar in all s-seven rings—hic—and ya know them types ain't known for settling for l-less! So hooow the fuck did he do it?!"
Moxxie was about to answer, but then realized the logic in his wife's drunken ramblings, and began to ponder them. Millie quickly interrupted her husband's pondering. "Say," she said in a low tone, "how bout you quit thinkin', and we get up to some reeeaal fun~?"
Unfortunately, before Moxxie could take her up on that offer, the doors to the bar swung open. "Whazzup dykes and diiiicks????". The sudden announcement from a crude and rude voice made several bar patrons turn around to the source of the voice at the bar door. And when they saw the source, several of them regretted it.
Chazwick "Chaz" Thurman. The shark hellborne was popular in the same way that a Gonoherpesyphilaids infection was "popular" in the Lust ring. He was, in no short terms, a cocksucking waste of organs and sapience.
"Oh fuck. It's Chaz. Everyone cover your drinks."
"For fucks sake, I thought this bitchin' bloke went to prison or somethin'."
"Y'know what? Fuck it. I'm going to Narcotics Anonymous. Chaz is like the worst part about a hell-heroin addiction, without the fun."
"I THOUGHT WE KILLED THIS ASSHOLE—wait, that was Aless? Shit. Wrong sex pest…"
Whether he was too stupid or too up his own ass to hear the discontent complaints of the majority of the patrons, wasn't clear. But Chaz was flashing finger guns with that same 'lobotomized golden retriever' smile on his face. "Heh! Hey Leroy! Nice hair. It looked better with my spunk in it" Chaz grinned as he passed through the bar. "Cheyenne! Looking fuckable as always! Glad you didn't die from cancer!".
He bent down to pick up an ecstasy pill, coincidentally as a brick missed his head and hit a hole in the bar wall. Regrettably, he survive."Yumi! I recognize that candle anywhere!" He waved to a disgusted Baphomet. "Remember that time I asked you to shove it up my ass? Man, that was fun. It was huge, but not as huge as my fucking huge dick. Cuz I'm the 'Chaz Chud' baby!"Chaz licked his index finger, and provocatively placed it on his crotch with a hissing sound. Meanwhile, the aforementioned Baphomet scrambled to a trash can before he promptly vomited up his lunch and breakfast at the traumatic memory.
When Chaz made it to the bar, half the bars patrons were paying their tabs and leaving the bar en masse. A large empty space was visible at the bar, where patrons tried their best to avoid the slimy Shark. Meanwhile, Chaz was grinning his shit eating grin, as he smacked his hand against the bar and addressed the bartender. "Heyyyyy Charlie? How's the wife? Still hot as shit?" The incubus bartender all but deadpanned at Chaz, before sighing. "Chaz we talked about this. Please stop bringing up my wife—"
"Man, I still think it's wild that I had dated and fucked your wife before you guys met." The Shark ranted on, as he clumsily shoved his hand into the peanut bowl, and caused a mess. "She may have been autistic, but maaaaaan did it grip." Charlie's eye twitched dangerously, as he thought of beating Chaz's brains in with the glass in his hand. But instead he sighed deeply. He crouched under the counter to put the clean glass away—
"I mean seriously! That pink pussy had GRIP! It may have stank, but it gripped harder than a retard when you try and take away his action figure. Remember when you told me you proposed to her, and then I showed you the video I took of me shoving a sandwich up her ass? She may have just been desperately doing it for the rent money and to pay for her mom's medication, but she was ABSOLUTELY into it!"
Charlie had to hold his hand back, as it reaches towards the sawed off shotgun that he kept under the bar for emergencies. Instead he sighed, before grabbing a new glass—PTOU—and promptly spitting a loogie into it. Just for Chaz.
"Do you want a drink, or are you just here to piss me off?" He dryly asked, standing up and grabbing the cheapest liquor possible. The response was Chaz waggling his eyebrows and licking his teeth. "Aw c'mon Charlie? Can't it be both? You know you love me!"
"I hate you, you have a $2,860,002 tab, and I would kill you for $3 and a wet cigarette". Chaz's snot filled glass dropped unceremoniously onto the bar, as Charlie filled it half with cheap liquor and half with water. Diluted, just for Chaz. "Enjoy your fucking drink." Charlie grumbled before he walked of to tend to the paying customers.
All the ignorant to his unliked & unwelcomed presence, Chaz grinned before taking his glass and downing it in one go. "Ahhhhh. This is the fucking life. I'm horny, I'm happy, and everyone loves my fat Shark dick- OH SHIT! IS THAT MOGGIE? AND MILLIE??????"
The aforementioned imps paled when he called him. "Oh crumbs…" Moxxie 'swore'. Millie was gritting her teeth, her mood having soured at the sound of Ḧ̵̼̼́̓͒́̏͆͌̓̚I̵̞̔̂́M̴̯̫͑̓̃́̇͐̀̋͜͠ being here. Verosika, having overheard Chaz's shouting midway through her tenth tonguing session with Blitzø, abruptly pulled out to see who was calling. Blitzø whined at the abrupt end, but suddenly sobered up at the sight of the shark hellborne.
"What. Is. That?" Verosika asked. "Whoever he is, he's pissing me off just by existing. And dear Satan, the smell..." she gagged. "That's Chaz", Millie responded angrily. "Nothing much ta know 'bout him, 'cept he's a two-timing, partner-ditching, sleazeballing, lying CUNT!" Moxxie nodded with her. "Me, my wife, and our boss—Blitz—had the misfortune of sleeping with him. Somehow. The only reason people go out with him is his admittedly huge dick; everything else about him is the fucking worse."
"Hold on, him? Huge?" The popstar succubus deadpanned, "Mox, if there's anything I've learned from dating Blitz, is that one: he has the largest dick I ever tasted, and two: the more ridiculously large someone's cock is, the more likely it's been enhance with Beelzejuice." Blitzø's eyes widened as Verosika's latter point clicked into place—even during sex, Chaz was moreso limp during the whole process than anything. He figured that the shark was just bad at sex, but if it was larger than usual...
It was at this moment that Chaz walked right up to the couples' table. "Yo Moggie, yo Mille, fancy seeing you chucklefucks around here! I bet you were just waiting to get a piece of the Chazter again, huh? Cause why else would ya go to this shitty place." The bartender, overhearing Chaz's statement about his establishment, prayed to all Seven Deadly Sins that the shark hellborne would get his due.
While Chaz was blabbering about his so-called worth, Millie and Verosika glanced at each other, and smirked.
"...so yeah, I heard this Goetia chick was at one of them goth stores, and I thought 'man, wouldn't it be nice to stick my big fucking dick in her—'"
WHACK
Before he could finish his disturbing sentence, Chaz felt a stinging sensation on his head, and promptly blacked out. The other patrons looked to Chaz's unconscious body, then at Verosika who whacked Chaz, and loudly cheered.
"HELL YEAH!"
"THANK SATAN!"
"YOU FOUR CAN HAVE FREE DRINKS ON THE HOUSE!"
"GET FUCKED CHAZ!"
"WOOOO!"
"Welp, that's one annoying motherfucker taken off," Blitzø remarked. "Right, who's up for more karaoke?" Verosika then grabbed Blitzø, and said "Actually, honey, I have a much better idea~"
"Better than karaoke?" Blitzø asked. Verosika just smirked and whispered into Blitzø's ear, the latter's face soon sported an evil grin that grew and grew with each detail he possesed. After her plan was explained, Blitzø turned to Verosika and said, "You are the most beautiful and sexy vengeful person I know. M&M's hear's the plan..."
When Chaz finally came to, he noticed a few things:
- He was in a bedroom.
- He was tied up to chair with rope.
- He was completely and utterly butt naked.
He tried to pull himself free, but it was no use. The room was dark, and all he saw in front of him was some black blobs. So, like usual, he coped with it in his usual way: by being as annoying as ever. "Satan damn, I must be REALLY hot for a gal or two to pull this on the Chazter! Heh, then again, I do have the largest dick in all of Hell, so I'm not surprised. Say, where is everybody anyway? I was just getting to the good part of my story! HELLO?!"
The lights turned on with such a ferocity that the shark hellborne was completely blinded for but a moment. After his vision cleared, Chaz saw in front of were in fact in Millei and Verisoka—but both were now stripped down to their underwear, with the former in black and and the latter in white. Millie sported an admirable C-cup bust and the fattest ass of any shortstack countrygirl. Verosika's cheeks were more sculpted than thicc, but more than made up for it with her DD-cup breasts. And directly behind the girls were their significant others, Moxxie and Blitzø respectively—both wearing nothing but boxxers—and all four of them were sporting shit-eating grins at Chaz.
Chaz was sweating, but before he could get any further words out of his scummy mouth, Verosika cut him off. "So," she began, "Mils and I heard that you sport a 'big fucking dick', correct?" She grinned eviler as she turned her eyes downwards. "I guess that answers our question. Beezlejuice, wasn't it?"
As Chaz looked down, his worst fears were confirmed; he had forgotten to take his Beezlejuice that night, and thus his penis wasn't the usual overgrown, limp slong he usually threw around along with his weight, but rather, its true size: 1 inch, 5 cm.
Yes, really. Chazwick Thurman was so underdeveloped in his nether regions that he constantly used an enlarger to increase his size everynight. Unfortunately for him, he had grown so extremely overconfident he forgot to brings said enlarger with him tonight, and now his three most scorned exes had obtained the perfect blackmail.
"N-Now hold o-on", Chaz said, in a panicky voice, "w-we can t-talk like gentleman, right? I-I'll just slip out and let you guys fuck uninterrupted, alright?"
"Why?" Millie asked oh so innocently, though with a dangerous glint in her eye. "Afta' all, you chose to butt in and ruin our double-date night, so..." She grip Moxxie's boxers; Verosika did the same with Blitzø's, "why don't ya take a lokk at some real fucking cocks?!
RIIIIP
If Chaz was sweating before, this new sight broke his ego.
Moxxie Knolastname was sporting a respectable footlong red cock, complete with tennis ball-sized testicles. Blitzø Buckzo, on the other hand, was equipped with a staggering 16-inch dark red cock, covered in spikes, and attached to softball-sized testicles. Both were already wet & dripping precum at the sight of their female partners, who were in turn dripping themselves. All in all, the "Chazter" had absolutely NOTHING to compete with.
Blitzø merely smirked at Chaz's gaping face, stuttering face. "Alright ladies," he said, "let's show this fucker why Mox and I get actual fucking pussy, and his bitchless ass DOESN'T!"
1 HOUR
"HOLY HELL, MOXXIE!"
"AH~ DON'T FUCKING STOP, BLITZ!"
The room was filled with the slaps of skin against skin, and Moxxie and Blitzø drove their bitch-breakers into Millie and Verosika respectively, plowing into their wombs like pistons at full speed. The girls had very visible bulges from their lovers' huge cocks, and as their screams of pleasure indicated, they did NOT want said plowing to stop anytime soon—especially not when there was still a certain shark hellborne that needed to learn what cuckolding was like on the receiver's side.
Chaz could not tear himself away from the sight—he could (and did) try to close his eyes, but his ears made damn well sure that he would not miss a single moment of this.
Moxxie was, admittedly, squealing like a pig. On most nights he wasn't proud of it, but it turned his wife on, so he let it go for the moment. "Ah, Millie~ A-Are you s-sure that—ah—that you a-alright?!" Millie's response was to slam herself even harder against his cock, screaming "AH SAID TO NEVER STOP, AND AH MEANT IT!" She grabbed him by the shoulders. "'SIDES, WE STILL GOT CHAZ HERE TO TEACH A LESSON! NOW PUCKER UP AND SHOW 'IM A REAL KISS!~" The two imps began making out like their lives depended on it, meaning an average "M&M tongue session" as Blitzø would call it.
Speaking of Blitzø, he was grunting heavily as he was pistoning himself into Verosika from up top. "S-Satan damn, 'Sika, did you t-tighten yourself up for—HMPH—tonight specifically?!" Verosika giggled. "UMPH! Don't complain, Blitzy~ You know that I know, that you like it when—ah—I'm squeezing you!~" Blitzø grunted in response, "Y-Yeah, that's definitely s-something you'd pull. UMPH! How's the 'Chazter' doing i-in the chair, a-anyhow?"
The aformentioned shark was currently in tears as his one-and-a-half inch penis had already ejaculated 35 minutes, and the ropes were nowhere near a state of removal. If anything, the ropes seemed to get even tighter the more he struggled against them. 'It can't get worse than this, can it...?' he thought to himself.
As he found out, there was still more to come.
3 HOURS
Blitzø and Moxxie were pulling the hardest o-faces, as their respective girlfriend & wife were giving both the hardest blowjobs possibly known to impkind. Despite holding as hard as they could, the succubus and the female imp were essentially vacuum tubes inhaling their lovers' cocks. And of course, both girls were using their large stacks in the process.
Well, Moxie was the one continuously making an o-face. Blitzø alternated between that and smirking like he never smirked before. "F-Fuck Veros," he moaned, "you really know h-how to please a man!" He said it out loud in the hopes that a certain shark hellborne would overhear.
Verosika briefly stopped to give Blitz a deep smooch, whispering in his ear "I know," and went back to ber blowjob with an arguably harder suck.
Poor Chaz was still on the chair, still tied up, and still subjected to the sights & sounds of his exes having amazing rounds of sex all without him. If one looked closer, you could see the tears running down his face, obscured as they were by the low light and shadows of the motel room.
6 HOURS
By now, the three imps + succubus were starting to show visible signs of tiredness from the nonstop fucking, but given how their ferocity had yet to cease, it was clear that there was still a long way to go.
This time, Blitzø and Moxxie were in the opposite positions from when they started: the former suckling on Verosika's massive tits as she rid her boyfriend cowgirl-style; and the latter thrusting into Millie from atop of her, bulging her stomach in the process. There were no words to be exchanged, for the two couples were now fully entrenched in blowing each other's brains out to make even small talk.
And as for Chaz? He was just silent now. His tears long dried, the shark was stuck sniffing and sometimes mumbling, if only to distract himself from the overriding smell of bodily fluids that caked every corner of the room.
As the shark finally felt the sensation of sleep claim him, his red eyes caught one last humiliating sight—that of Millie and Verosika being filled with sheer gallons of their lovers' cum, enough to make them each look nine months pregnant.
12 HOURS
It was midday. The pentagram sun was in its highest position, and hellborne were out and about in the city streets. And inside a motel near Imp City's limits, the other residents were complaining about the disgusting smell of cum coming from one room in particular.
Blitzø was the first to awaken. He blinked once, then multiples, and stretched up. He turned to his right, and saw Verosika cuddling up beside him, along with a flow of semen that had trailed out of her pussy overnight. 'That explains her big stomach,' he thought to himself. He turned to his left, and saw Moxxie & Millie in the other bed; Millie was also in the same situation as Verosika. Blitzø felt a tinge of respect for Moxxie, a deeper kind than the usual business-related respect. He would certainly never admit that.
Then he remembered—Chaz. Where was that shark?! Fortunately, Chaz was very much still there in his cuck chair, now snoring extremely loudly.
Blitzø crawled to Moxxie and poked him in the face a few times. Moxxie grumbled, before finally waking up. "Yawn... yes sir, what is it?" Moxxie asked. "I need your phone," Blitzø replied.
"...why do you need my phone specifically, sir?" Moxxie asked again, really confused this time. "Because," Blitzø explained, "we were so fucking busy having mind-blowing sex that I only just now remembered the fucking blackmail part, and you're the only one who brought a phone with you. Now give. Please?"
Moxxie glared at Blitz for a moment. "Fine," Moxxie deadpanned, "but you better keep the photos somewhere safe afterwards." "Psshaw," Blitzø chuckled, "I know what I'm doing Mox. The better question is how our sharky 'friend' will be doing later..."
By the next day, certain photos were spreading all over the Hellnet. At first, most hellborne were confused, but after some recognition, they were either laughing their guts out, cheering as loud as possible, or both.
You, dear reader, are likely wondering what the contents of these phots are, so here it: Chazwick "Chaz" Thurman naked, tied to a chair, covered in cum-ridden condoms, and sporting phrases like "The Cuckster", "I like watching from the sidelines", "One-Incher" and many more—all written on his body in permanent sharpie.
When Chaz had eventually woken up himself, he found himself in the aforementioned state, as well as surrounding by those who thought he was responsible for the motel room's current state. Oh he tried to defend himself, but that went nowhere—most if not all of the motel's patrons knew exactly who Chaz was, so he was soon charged for cleaning & repairing the room. Then he discovered the photos of himself, and whatever ego he had recovered immediately plummeted into the ground once more.
And as for Blitzø, Verosika, Moxxie & Millie? They went back home like nothing ever happened. And if anyone suspected them of the Chaz Leak, well, no one so much made a fuss as they rather thanked them for it.
Thus ends the legacy of the "Chazter"; a shark hellborne with a ludicrously small dick who was so full of himself until the day he was humiliated.
Good Fucking Riddance.