Chapter Text
Those eyes never stopped following me.
Its already been months since that woman died. Since Astra left. Since we failed on our mission.
And those eyes keep on watching me. They appear among the trees, judging me. Telling me to give up and end it all.
Sometimes, I’m tempted to listen. Maybe dying alone in the woods would be a mercy. One less poor soul to suffer at Theistea’s hands.
But then, during the darkest moments, I remember the things people did to me, and anger consumes me. The want for revenge keeps me going.
I stood as still as possible; eyes focused on the Poripori. My arm moved on instinct, placing an arrow at the string and readying the bow, then releasing the built-up tension with one swift motion.
The small animal now lied on the ground, convulsing.
But eventually the anger dissipates, and I remember my position again. A small, grounded reject, hunting to sell animal pelts for scraps. If the BirdHaven priests felt like a near impossible enemy to defeat before, now that was definitely the case.
The animal’s neck cracked, as I stopped its suffering. I retrieved the arrow from its body, and then grabbed my hunting knife. Poripori pelts were soft and lightweight, which meant I could carry a lot of them before I got tired, and they sold at a good enough price.
I never sold the meat of the animals I hunted, however. Sometimes, there wasn’t enough to hunt in the woods, and money became a problem. Having some dried meat as a backup was essential. Needless to say, my cooking and foraging skills just got better and better the longer I lived like this.
Before I placed the animal’s pelt in the sack, with the others, I stared at its body one last time. One would think after you kill enough living things, you’d become desensitized to it. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I saw myself in the creatures I hunted. Maybe I’d end up like them one day.
The worst part was seeing the light leave their eyes. There was no anger there, only a deep sadness reflecting back.
And in the moments when the anger went away, and those eyes started staring too much, there was only one thing that could take off the edge.
I looked past the trees, towards the valley down below. Pumice, a small village full of leather workers and smiths, was on the other side of the river.
* * *
I walked along the side streets and alleyways, making an effort to cover my body with a makeshift cape, sewn together from potato bags I collected over time. I wasn’t a fan of dressing like this, but the thought of people noticing my wings was way, way worse. The less attention I could draw to myself, the better.
But Pumice was a small village; the kind of place where everyone knows their neighbors and such. Needless to say, ever since I started showing up, the people took an interest in me. They’d try to ask me things like where I came from, where I lived, why did I dress the way I did, etc. To them, I was probably very mysterious. I even heard some kids calling me the “Shadow Man” once.
The truth was probably a lot more disappointing than what they imagined.
I finally arrived at Skiphorn’s. It was the town tavern, managed by a human couple who immigrated from Fruyra a few decades back. The wife, a woman named Hotak, was a brewer, and managed the bar. The other wife, a woman named Amano, managed a small leather shop at the back of the tavern, and helped out serving tables when there were too many clients.
I always conducted my business there. Hotak and Amano were very kind, and more importantly, they asked the least ammount of questions. Maybe they also had to run away from something in the past, which was probably how they ended up here. Or maybe they were just sick of the cold. I wouldn’t know.
I greeted the drunkards sitting on the ground in front of the bar with a nod, as usual, and went inside. The door chime jingled, and Hotak’s eyes turned toward me.
“If it isn’t Elias! Long time no see, pal.”
“Hey Hotak, how are you doing?”
“Well, it’s friday, so the bar should be getting busy at any moment now. But y’know, I’ll manage. Unfortunately, Amano’s sick, so I’ll have to do everything myself today. Oh my poor baby...”
Hotak let out a sad sigh. They cared a lot for each other.
“Oh, really? I’m sorry to hear that. I hope she gets better soon.”
“Thank you. I hope that too...”
“Anyway... I came here to sell some pelts, but if Amano’s sick it can’t be helped; I’ll just have a beer. Your strongest one.”
“Sure thing! One dark stout coming right up.”
Hotak walked in my direction, towards a big barrel; mug in hand. When she came close enough, however, flinched and covered her nose with her hand.
“What the FUCK is that smell?!”
Hotak was screaming, and her eyes teared up.
Could that be me? I probably smelled a bit sweaty, but nothing that bad… I think. Actually, I couldn’t remember the last time I bathed. Maybe a few weeks ago?
“Is that you, Elias?? What the fuck. GET OUT.”
Hotak grabbed a broom, and started shoving me towards the entrance. I hustled over, almost losing my balance.
“Listen, you’re always welcome here, but go take a bath first, for fuck’s sake!”
The door closed behind me with a loud ‘clunk’. Guess I wouldn’t get drunk today. The eyes would keep on staring.
* * *
I went back to the woods and started following the river, up the valley, hoping to find a waterfall where I could clean myself.
With every step, it got harder to breathe. My heart was also beating faster.
It was the eyes. They were following me, closer than ever before.
I tried walking faster, but the path was only getting steeper as I continued. I got tired. My legs started giving up, so I leaned my back against a tree. If only my wings worked, maybe I wouldn’t have to suffer so much.
“Don’t even worry about it. This is the end. You’ll breathe your last here.”
They began whispering to me. I covered my ears and shut my eyes on instinct.
“Ignoring me won’t make me go away, Silas. You know it won’t.”
I felt the tears running down my cheeks. When did I start crying?
“You never stopped crying. You just didn’t notice until now, did you?”
Stop. You’re not real.
“If I’m not real, then what are you? Is your name really 'Elias'? Are you really contempt with being a homeless hunter? Did you always use to hide your wings like that?”
Stop. Please, just stop.
“If you want me to stop, then you know what you must do.”
I opened my eyes again.
There was a natural pool in front of me. A hot spring, maybe?
I didn’t know how I had gotten there, but it didn’t matter anymore. I undressed, and stretched my wings as far as I could. The relief was immense.
The water drew me in. It was hot. Very hot. I could feel it engulfing my body, as I submerged myself in it. I opened my mouth, and felt the air slowly but surely leaving my lungs. Soon it would all be over.
As my vision started getting blurry, but just before I began losing my consciousness, I noticed it. There was something else there with me. A pair of eyes. Not like the usual ones, though. These were green, and they looked like those of a hunter. They were moving towards me. Fast.
Before I could react, the creature pulled me out of the water and smashed my back against some rocks.
It opened its mouth, showing a set of teeth sharper than most monsters I’d ever fought before. It looked like it would use them to tore my neck open. But then it didn’t, for some reason.
It just stared at me, and then made a pained expression. Its eyebrows furrowed. The creature released me, as gently as it could, beside the pool.
My senses started coming back to me, as I coughed up a mixture of water and blood. My body was wet and aching all over. My lungs felt like they were burning. And to make it worse, I couldn’t contain my tears anymore.
“I’m… I’m so sorry. Oh my god. I didn’t mean to– I– I thought you were a bird since you were so small. We don’t get many Aeros over here. Oh my god...”
The creature could talk, and it seemed very apologetic and scared for what it had just done. I couldn’t see clearly, since my vision was blurry, but I saw it walking over to my clothes and grabbing something. It started walking back in my direction, and extended its arms around me. I flinched. It wrapped me in the potato sack cape, again, as gently as it could.
I knew it could kill me without any effort, if it wanted to. It didn’t have any reason to keep me – a reject – alive. I should be completely terrified.
And yet, I felt… comfortable in its presence, somehow.
My eyes began closing, slowly...
Me and Inferno were lying right beside each other, both out of breath.
Since we’ve known each other for so long, they knew exactly how to get me to this state. Sometimes I wondered if they were this good with me specifically, or if they’d have the same skill with anyone in general, just from experience.
Usually, at this point, I would snuggle up to them and quickly fall asleep in their arms. But today felt different, somehow. I felt restless. As if there was a rock stuck in between my scales, metaphorically speaking.
Inferno noticed it too. They were good at reading people. They were good at reading me.
“What is it, Virus? Got something on your mind?”
I stared at them, pondering whether I should tell them or not. Before I reached a conclusion though, they rolled to the side and then got on top of me, grabbing my wrists.
“You know, if you want to go for another round, all you have to do is ask properly~”
I rolled my eyes, gently escaping their gaze.
“Sorry, but… that’s not it.”
Inferno immediately let go, and sat beside me.
“Sorry for that. Do you want to talk? Is anything wrong?”
I sat up and hugged my knees, eyes peeking right over them. In front of us, we could see Caldera, the largest hot spring in our entire territory. Vennoa of all kinds and sizes were enjoying each other’s company and feasting, as the sun began setting. Beneath the steam, you could see the water reflecting the orange and blue colors of the sky. It was a beautiful sight.
And yet, I was sick and tired of it.
I took a deep breath, and then let all the air out, trying to enter a more assertive head space.
“Are you happy right now, Inferno? In general.”
They looked at me, confused.
“Yes... Very. Why do you ask? Did I do anything to make you believe otherwise?”
“No, not really, it’s just… you’ve lived here for so long. You’re friends with everyone in our community. You know about every fruit tree, water source and animals we have. You’ve seen countless adventurer’s come by and leave. And even so, do you never get tired of being here?”
Inferno chuckled.
“Get tired of what, exactly? Here I can have all the sex, food and peace of mind I want. Everyone around me is caring and understanding of each other. What else is there to desire?”
Honestly speaking, I had the same thought countless times. What else is there to desire? Why am I not satisfied? I felt guilty about it.
But ignoring my thoughts and throwing them inside the volcano (underneath the carpet) won’t help the situation. It never did. They’d come back anyway.
“I don’t know… But I just have this feeling.”
“…what feeling would that be?”
I paused. Inferno never did something to hurt me before. They wouldn’t do so now. I could trust them.
“Do you remember that old human couple? The one who spent a few days here a couple of years ago.”
“No… not really. What about them?”
“Well, they spent almost their entire lives together. And when they came here, they were fighting or, what was the word the woman used… ‘Quarelling’.”
“Hm. Go on...”
“You’d think after being with the same person for so long, and only that person, they’d get tired of each other. That they’d separate and seek other people as soon as things got uncomfortable.”
I put my arms back and stretched my wings and legs a bit.
“But they didn’t. And they didn’t even want to. I asked them about it.”
“How long were they together? Do you remember?”
“Some 55 years or something.”
“Oh wow. That is really impressive for humans.”
“It really is. When I asked them why, they both gave similar answers. Do you know what they said?”
“No. What did they say?”
“They said they weren’t with each other just for their good parts, but for their bad ones as well. They had both seen the best and worst of each other. That made their bond stronger than other people’s. They trusted in each other to overcome their conflicts.”
“I see. But… why are you telling me this?”
Inferno looked completely puzzled. I could tell their mind was racing, thinking about where this conversation was going. Their tail was twitching.
“Well, I don’t know how that could happen or why, but I think I’d love to know how that feels. To trust someone like that. To share your life with them, to the point they feel like a part of you.”
Inferno’s tail stopped twitching. Their shoulders relaxed.
“Oh… yes. I think you’re just confused.”
Wait, what?
“What do you mean?”
“Well, looking from an outside perspective, it’s easy to romanticize other people’s… romance. Especially humans’. They have a tendency to do that themselves. But it’s not all that special, trust me.”
“But… How do you know? Have you ever had something like that?”
“No. I never had that sort of relationship with anyone, but I’ve seen enough of them. I know how most of them begin and end.”
“…”
“Listen, I understand. Those humans left a good impression on you, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to live your life the way other people do. You’re still young. There are lots of things you don’t know yet.”
“…I guess maybe you’re right–“
Suddenly another group approached us. They all seemed to be together. One of them extended their hand towards Inferno.
“Inferno, my dear. Would you and your friend like to join us for a bit? We have space for two more, y’know~”
Inferno got up, grabbed their hand and kissed it lightly.
“Of course, Aaron. It’s my pleasure.”
Inferno looked back at me.
“Oh, Virus, are coming with us? Let me introduce you to my friends here–“
“Sorry, but I don’t think I want to.”
I got up and turned around, fully extending my wings.
“Wait, are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m hungry. I’m gonna go hunt something and… maybe I’ll come back later.”
I took off without looking behind me. This always happened. It didn’t matter if it was with Inferno or anyone else, as soon as our conversations stopped being shallow, other people would butt in, and then we’d go and have more sex. Or maybe they would leave as soon as possible to fulfill some other desire. It was easy to lie and pretend to do the same.
My stomach growled.
But maybe all that exercise and talking really did make me hungry after all.
I started making my way to a spot further than the others. A hot spring which, as far as I knew, only I was aware of. My safe haven for when I wanted to be alone. My eyes were peeled for any animals I could spot in the way, but even if I didn’t come across any, there were also plenty of fruit bearing trees near the place.
Getting closer, however, I spotted a creature entering the water. I couldn’t see it properly, but it definitely had a big pair of brown wings. Maybe some species of giant eagle. Whatever it was, it would make for a perfect dinner.
I closed my wings to drop faster in its direction, entering the water and pulling it out with my claws. The creature was cornered against some rocks as I was about to bite its neck. But then I noticed… its face.
It was not a very big bird, but actually, a very small Aero. Wet, covered in blood and gasping for air.
I immediately let it go and froze up. I must’ve hurt it really bad. And it was probably scared out of its mind.
“I’m… I’m so sorry. Oh my god. I didn’t mean to– I– I thought you were a bird since you were so small. We don’t get many Aeros over here. Oh my god...”
It didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. Maybe it was in shock.
I looked around and noticed a bunch of pieces of cloth scattered near the water, which I promptly used to cover it up. Otherwise, it’d probably feel cold. If I recalled correctly, Aeros were also very sensitive about being nude, so it’d probably feel more at ease this way.
After a while, I noticed it staring at me. It was whimpering and sobbing still, but somehow, it looked calmer now. Maybe it understood I wasn’t actually a threat. Its eyes were orange, contrasting and glistening with the blue glow of the moon. They began closing slowly.
Oh no no no no no.
I went over and checked its pulse.
It was still alive. Just… sleeping.
…
Now what?