Archive of Our Own

Chiang Mai had never felt this lonely to Firstone. He sat in the club with a few of his friends, reluctantly, too scared to admit that it did affect him, that he had gotten his heart broken over something that wasn’t even labelled. 

So he settled upon the thought to drown himself in alcohol in the hopes of numbing his senses. The minute he walked up to the bar counter, his best friend Namping knew the worst possible outcome of this. 

Knowing about all his heart breaks and poor life choices, he urged Firstone to deal with it without getting intoxicated before it turned into some reckless action which he won’t be able to bear consequences of.

Firstone knew he could not handle drinks well, hence deciding to listen to Namping for once. He was just hoping if not from this, maybe the music can somehow overpower all his emotions that were on the verge of spilling. 

He asked Namping to go back to the booth where their friends were seated, promising he wouldn’t drink. The last thing he wanted was to drag him in this mess while ruining his best friend’s time. They were all mutual friends, so he wanted Namping to enjoy his night too. 

A while later, once his best friend was somewhat assured, he hesitated before finally walking back, leaving Firstone alone near the bar. The further he reminisced those memories a few months back, the man that he poured his heart out to, the more hurt he was. Realising he finally needs to let go. He needed to distract himself, so he walked up in the middle of a club. 

Surrounded by a crowd full of strangers, there was somewhat a comforting feeling. Some kind of intangible closure, why he needs to focus on small things in life and perhaps let go of the past. 

As he paced, the music grew louder, clearer, almost drowning out everything else. He stood there for a moment before letting himself settle with the music. Firstone closed his eyes and began to sway a little to the upbeat rhythm, his body naturally taking over, to find himself being fully immersed.

On a safe distance, behind the DJ console, Firstone glanced at a man in a casual black blazer, a little bit of chest on display working effortlessly over the controls, the headphones resting around his neck. A quick chuckle escaped when the crowd reacted to the changes in the beat.

Tle had always been content with the life he built in this city, one that gave meaning to his dreams, entertaining people through his passion for music, DJ or whatever skills you name. A very contrasting life to that of Firstone’s. 

Although Tle flirted rarely, but had never committed himself to someone, moreover he mostly focused on his work and assisting others. Whereas Firstone was a hopeless romantic who solely depended on his emotions. He would get attached easily up until his last situationship that ended badly. He had been holding on to this stupid committing yourself in a relationship rather than just going with the flow. When he should have been embracing all of his emotions. 

The minute Tle’s eye stumbled upon Firstone in the middle, dancing to his heart’s content, he felt euphoric to know that someone enjoyed his work like this. 

A playful smirk on his face and could not take his eyes off of this guy, he promptly changed the tempo of the music to watch every move Firstone would make, this somehow got Firstone’s attention to his antiques, he noticed Tle staring directly at him, hands still on the controller. 

A while after staring at each other, Tle picked up the mic swiftly adding some ad-libs along with the beats. 

Oh baby. Tle was now smirking again while the other watched him with curious eyes. 

Firstone paused for a moment but began swaying again while quietly lip syncing with him, the intensity of Tle’s eyes watching him like a hawk sent a shiver down his spine. 

This went on for a couple of minutes until Tle took off his headset, putting it down in a safe place along with the mic, all while still staring at Firstone. 

He looked away to find his assistant but not before flashing a seductive smile at Firstone, and he should be scared and be repulsive the way he was just mourning his loss of an oh a not so relationship but somehow his mind and heart both coordinated on staying where he was, waiting for Tle to approach him.

Tle asked his assistant to take over his booth and gave some instruction which of course Firstone had no idea of. He stepped down from the booth and walked towards Firstone to where he stood awkwardly, and Tle was not helping his case while taking his sweet time to reach him. 

“Hey” Tle greeted the minute he reached Firstone, coming close to a safe distance near his ear. Firstone replied by resonating Tle’s greeting. 

“Do you mind if I join you?” Tle looked for his expression to see any hesitation, to confirm if he was being distressed because one thing Tle hated more than anything was to make someone uncomfortable let alone force something. When he noticed the other suppressing his smile, he raised an eyebrow in silent attempt to urge him to answer. Firstone did not answer verbally but nodded his head for Tle to understand that he was willing.

“Can you use your words, pretty boy” Firstone instantly blushed at his words but tried to maintain his composure, once he answered yes, Tle extended his hand for First to take, quickly giving a once over to Tle before holding his hand. Tle shifted them to a spot more comfortable enough, they started dancing together. 

For once Firstone actually began to relish with no other thoughts but just this close spot where no one cared about him and he didn’t care about others while just existing, dancing his worries away, swaying and sometimes casually singing too. Only this time he felt the close vicinity of a total stranger, who looked carefree, enjoying with someone he barely knew too. 

Tle noticed the sudden change in his expression, when he understood the cue, he casually lifted his hand to his assistant. The moment he spotted Tle’s hand, he gave him a thumbs up. 

Firstone figured out he might be asking for a song change, what he did not expect was the type of song. The atmosphere became quiet instantly, because the song playing was very slow rhythmed, sensual to be exact. 

Lay your body on the floor baby

I love the way you breathe in 

Tle came a little too close this time to see if Firstone was willing, he placed his hands on Tle’s shoulder making his body stutter  from the sudden shift but he quickly redeemed himself. 

And I’ve been drinking so much more lately

But that's just how I'm feeling

If you don’t wanna break his heart, girl

Where the fuck is he, then?

Tle then carefully placed his hands on Firstone’s waist. Tle felt it was a challenge Firstone was throwing his way when he kept lowering his eyes for a few seconds. Neither of them spoke anything for the time being so Firstone decided to be the brave one.

“Do you do this very often?” Firstone raised his eyebrows in genuine inspection. Tle understood the question in a flash, smirking before biting the side of his lips softly. 

Just open up, let your body talk for ya, like

Ooh, flood it like a tidal wave.

Hearing this part of this song, Tle turned him around unhurriedly, keeping his hands steady on his waist, engulfing him from behind. He was merely an inch away from his ear, where Firstone can feel his breath fanning on his neck, keeping his voice low “I could do this with you often…if you’d like”.

Firstone found himself smiling at his flirting, but didn’t want to give him the benefit of the doubt. His body betrayed him anyway. He leaned into Tle’s arms already finding strange comfort in them.

He felt Tle’s hold tighten slightly around his waist and his breath hitched when Tle trailed his nose from the crook of his neck to just behind his ear without even touching, but the lingering breath made him shiver. 

“Firstone” he murmured, the name rolling off his tongue slower than it should have. Tle paused for a moment to fathom what was being said. Firstone sensed the confusion and in an instinct explained he was acquainting himself. 

“Tle” his gaze didn’t waver. It was just exchanging names but it already felt like an invitation. Firstone felt ecstatic from his touch without even having an ounce of drink. Oh this had made him curious and wanting more than what this was going to be about.

He jolted when Tle’s voice put his thoughts to a halt “Do you want to get out of here?” Firstone couldn’t say much but nodded in agreement. Tle released his grip from his waist, took his hand carefully and began to lead out of the crowd reaching near the exit of the club.

“Where are we going?” Firstone quickly stopped in his tracks to demand his answer, Tle looked at him and just gave a polite smile to assure him. 

“There is a place just very close from here, you’ll like it, only if you want to come though" he opened his phone to show the place he was describing. Firstone would not lie and say he had no doubts, what if he is a serial killer, and countless other what ifs. 

This wasn’t the time Firstone thought, what does he even have to loose, what if he could just have a nice and amazing night. He nodded as they headed toward the parking lot, where a sleek convertible Mercedes was parked like it belonged there. Honestly, Firstone was beyond impressed with his taste. Tle walked up to the car, opening the passenger door urging him to sit. Firstone gave a quick look before taking his leisure time to sit.

“Comfortable enough?” Tle bent down to his level anticipating a reaction out of him and was met with a sweet shy smile along with a silent yes. Satisfied, Tle closed the door and walked to the driver seat, fastening his seat belt. 

They were out of the parking lot in a few minutes and began driving to the place in the maps shown on the dashboard. The cool night time wind hit their bodies as they relaxed more through the drive.

Tle began some casual conversation about work and other unimportant stuff, avoiding the obvious questions about his personal life or romantic life. He did not want to make this uncomfortable, more so ruining the mood. They also touched upon his profession and living the life he dreamt and built. 

It was established somewhere that Tle was a year or more older than Firstone. So he naturally settled on calling him phi. They exchanged a little bit about this and that when they reached their destination. 

Firstone found himself mesmerized by the riverside walkway before him. It wasn’t anything extraordinary, just something he passed by every day, yet never once paused long enough to truly take in, to let it linger in his memory. There were very few people around, that you could count with your fingers. 

The car was parked close to the sidewalk. Tle asked whether he wanted to stay in the car or walk with him for a bit, and Firstone agreed upon walking without much thought. 

In the beginning, it felt harmless, nothing out of the ordinary. But Firstone would be lying to himself if he said his curiosity hadn’t already been piqued. There was something about Tle that kept pulling him in. Maybe that was why he decided to come here with him. 

Although, he was sure he wouldn’t let himself get played twice. 

They made their way back where Firstone leaned on the bonnet of the car. 

“Why did you walk up to me…back in the club?” Tle was shocked at the abrupt question being thrown at him. If Tle was being honest, he had no answer for it, the way Firstone was just there existing, taking in the music and dancing like his life depended upon it. It would be strange to answer his mind. He wanted to feel the same way First felt back there, wondering if that's how people felt when he played music.

Deciding against it, Tle just bluntly decided to say what he knew best. The smirk on his face gave him away completely. He was flirting, and he knew exactly what he was doing. Tle rested a hand beside Firstone’s waist before leaning closer, close enough to make his breath catch. His voice dropped into a whisper near his lips.

“I’ll answer that, maybe if there’s a next time.”

They were only inches apart from touching. Tle looked at him testing the waters, to see if the feelings were mutual but Firstone pulled away before anything happened. 

All of this was extremely overwhelming for him. Tle understood immediately and backed off completely. The situation became so awkward in seconds, that they couldn’t do anything but to fidget with whatever they could find. 

Firstone realised it was best they headed back, when the same time his phone rang. He panicked when his phone flashed Namping’s number, he quickly gestured to Tle to stay silent. Firstone answered him in a haste. Tle couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation but he figured out his friend was mostly asking for him.

Whatever lord was on Firstone’s side, he was thankful his phone rang because the situation they were in.

Firstone quickly explained to his best friend that he just went out for some fresh air and the loud music was too much for him. Tle raised his eyebrows at him thinking, he clearly didn’t mind the loud music when they were all over each other. 

Firstone felt a little embarrassed, prompting his cheeks to heat instantly. It took a while to convince Namping that he was indeed nearby and would be there in time.

“I guess we should head back now," Tle closed his eyes briefly and nodded in agreement. They sat back in the car to head back. Firstone warned Tle to not make Namping aware that they were together or he’ll get an earful from him. As soon as they reached Tle turned towards the back of the parking lot and parked near the most isolated area. 

Firstone was in such a hurry because he did not want another painful lecture from his best friend about being reckless. He quickly got out of the car and began rushing towards where Namping was waiting for him. 

“First… Will I get to see you again?” Tle quickly called him out leaning on his car. Firstone did not want to give out any false hope, much worse lead someone on. But the feeling was too much to just break it off, so he just muttered maybe and parted their ways before Tle put out a fake smile. 

Firstone headed inside searching for Namping, when he noticed the loud music had died down already since it was pretty late. Namping called him out from the bar counter where some of their friends were waiting for Firstone so they could bid their goodbyes. 

Namping stated that he was sober mostly because he did not trust Firstone fully whether he decided that he would drink or not. Somehow this made Firstone guilty of not being there with Namping. Hiding that he went out with someone when he clearly said not to do something stupid. 

They eventually booked a ride and went back home. 

Firstone really thought that he would be a little light headed after going out with friends. But even days later he was struggling with all the past and much more present feelings of that night. 

Something made his mind spiral around all the lingering touches and countless what ifs. What if he really would have let Tle kiss him. 

So call it a bad idea when he was standing outside the same place he was a few nights ago. On a random Tuesday night, contemplating stepping inside or not. When he wasn’t even sure if Tle would be there. 

He did not think it through.

Is it going to be awkward? 

Would it be embarrassing running into him?

Would Tle be with someone else?

He thought fuck it and stepped inside. Firstone carefully searched around from a corner so as to not immediately run into Tle because of course it would be embarrassing. 

He looked around to find if Tle was at his DJ booth. A while later, with no luck he decided to head back. He walked up to the exit and just as he was about to leave, someone caught his wrist lightly to stop him. 

Firstone turned around and found Tle holding his hand. He barely resembled the man he had met the first night.

Tle wore low-rise jeans with a baby tee that revealed the faintest strip of skin above his waist. A delicate silver chain bracelet rested against his wrist. And the rimless glasses softened his features in a way Firstone wasn’t able to take his eyes off.

“P’Tle?”

Tle had that cheeky grin on his face when he quickly closed some of the gap between them. Partially because the music was loud and he wanted to Firstone to hear him better. Tle greeted him while putting a loose arm around his waist. Firstone submitted to the close proximity by resting his hand across the side of his bicep. 

Tle quickly called him out, asking if the other was looking for him. Every nerve in Firstone’s body was screaming at him not to say yes, so he just stared at Tle for half a minute batting his lashes. When Tle tilted his head slightly, silently waiting for an answer, Firstone finally gave in and nodded gently. 

Tle bit his lip to hide his smile before leaning close enough for his lips to brush against Firstone’s ear.

“Do you want to come to my booth?”

Firstone hesitated before shaking his head. The crowd alone was enough to make him refuse, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention toward himself.

Tle’s expression fell immediately, his slight pout making him look like a sad puppy. Firstone gave in almost instantly at the sight.

“It’s not because of you,” he explained softly. “I just don’t want to squeeze through all those people and I also don’t want to disturb you while you’re working.”

Tle asked him again if he would be willing to wait after hours, so when the crowd dies down it might be more comfortable for him to show around. 

“What time do you get off?” He asked Tle while he told him it would only be another hour, maybe half if he got lucky.

Firstone quietly nodded, thinking that maybe it was better this way. He’d get Tle to himself without the overwhelming crowd around them.

So the two of them agreed to meet again once Tle was done for the night. 

Firstone went ahead to the bar to kill time, he desperately needed a drink to grasp everything happening in such a short amount of time. His commitment to come here and what the rest of the night would even bring. Although it was better if he stayed sober for obvious reasons.

Eventually the crowd died down after a while since it was already past 1 am, Tle impatiently searched for Firstone around the area. He found him slumping against a high chair in the corner of a bar area. A drink rested in his hand while he toyed with the little umbrella decorating it, looking adorable as he did. 

Tle sat on the chair next to Firstone, which made him straighten up a bit.

Tle questioned him if he was sleepy or hungry, or if he had any alcohol. Firstone pouted a little bit, making Tle chuckle. He explained that he did not have any alcohol or he would’ve slept right away. Although he did say he was hungry. 

“Come, let’s go”

“I’ll show you my work then we’ll head out to eat something” 

Tle extended his hand toward him and without hesitation, Firstone took it, like it was the most natural thing he could have done.

They walked up to the Tle’s DJ booth which displayed all types of complicated controllers, mixers and equipment that Firstone did not understand.

Firstone placed his hand carefully on one of the knobs. Tle softly slipped his hand tracing from his forearm and resting it on the back of his palm. They were only inches apart from Firstone’s back meeting with him. 

He interlaced his fingers to guide him through the various controllers displayed across. First did not pay attention to a single thing Tle was explaining. He was much rather focused on the closeness and how warm and comforting it felt. 

They slowly began to melt further into the embrace. Firstone rested his head against Tle’s shoulder before gradually shifting closer into the crook of his neck.

Tle’s breathing faltered at the feeling of Firstone fully relaxing against him and for a moment, neither of them even thought about moving.

He pulled out his phone from the back pocket very carefully without breaking the contact. Much worse starling Firstone and making him feel otherwise. 

It was nearly 2AM, Tle realised it was pretty late and they should probably get something to eat. The place was already nearly empty, save for a few bartenders behind the counter. 

Tle silently thanked the universe that it was a weekday, knowing that if this had been a weekend, he wouldn’t have gotten off work anytime soon. 

“Hey baby, let’s get something to eat” Firstone was so far gone in the situation that he did not realise he was entirely leaning on Tle and they were basically rocking slowly. The DJ controller was long forgotten. So when Tle slowly whispered in Firstone’s ear, he nearly missed and thought his head was messing with him and Tle probably did not just call him baby.

Tle wasn’t sure if Firstone did hear his muffled endearment or just chose to ignore it altogether. But he surely shifted in his arms. Their faces were just inches apart but none of them seemed to mind. 

Firstone’s eyes were a little groggy with sleep whereas Tle just had heart eyes looking down at Firstone. A small smile teasing to break. 

A minute later, Firstone asked what time it was since he probably guessed it too that it was way late for any place that would be opened at this hour. 

Even this place did not serve any snacks because it was way past closing time. They eventually decided to look for any small stalls or maybe any convenience stores, to get any type of snacks. 

It was honestly a just way to spend more time together because they could have just gone to their respective places to eat. 

Tle took his hand, interlacing them with his, walking up to the exit door.

He whistled a bit loudly at his coworker, asking him to pass his jacket and helmet. 

Firstone was extremely distracted when he placed his finger in his mouth.  

He called for an extra helmet since he said he usually rides his motorcycle alone. So Firstone figured out that he might have bought his bike this time. 

They stood in the parking lot, in front of Tle’s bike this time. 

“So, I actually bought my bike today… I hope that won’t be a problem for you?” Tle was testing the water if Firstone would be okay with it. Most of it, he prayed that Firstone would say that he would be willing to go with him. 

Firstone only nodded, quietly assuring him that he didn’t mind at all.

Tle’s face instantly broke into a gummy smile as he slipped his leather jacket off and placed it over Firstone’s shoulders, urging him to put it on. The jacket was a tad bit bigger on Firstone, his fingers instantly disappearing in the sleeves, and the bottom reaching down till his upper thighs. 

The faint cologne on his jacket was making his head a little fuzzy.

Once Firstone was done adjusting it, Tle grabbed the spare helmet and gently slid it onto his head.

The sight made Tle let out a small chuckle under his breath. The helmet pressed against Firstone’s cheeks just enough to make him look like an annoyed little kitten, and honestly, he looked unbearably cute while whining and grunting. It twisted a nerve in Tle immediately.

Cute. Feisty kitten. 

How feisty would he be to ride something else?

Would he blush the same way he did when they were close last time? 

Would they hold each other the same way on the very first night they met in the club? 

He would look so fucking good while doing so, when he took him apart. 

The sounds that would escape from that pretty mouth of his. Would he let him kis-

Fuck. 

After a few lingering seconds spent staring at Firstone’s lips, Tle quickly took his glasses out. He came close and reached for the zip pocket in the jacket Firstone was wearing, keeping the glasses inside and zipped it back up. Doing this all the while looking directly into his light brown eyes. Tle abruptly looked away and reached for his helmet, sliding onto his head as if to distract himself. 

The last thing he wanted was his inner demons to take control and his imagination run wild. 

They both hopped onto his bike. The most contemplating part for Firstone was where was he supposed to put his hands on? So he sits awkwardly trying to figure out a way to adjust himself. 

Tle felt the shift in the back and looked through his rear mirror, where Firstone was struggling with his hands. 

So he reached out his hands asking him to hold onto his waist for momentum of course. Half a minute later Firstone placed his hands in Tle’s. He guided his hands and placed it on his waist all up to his tummy. 

And oh god first was losing his mind when they both leaned over forward. He was nearly positioning his entire body weight on him. Chest pressed against his back.

The low rumble of the bike came to life as Tle ignited it, Firstone couldn’t help noticing the way his back muscles and biceps flexed effortlessly with the movement. 

But something much more sinister was happening when he looked down and noticed Tle’s shirt had ridden all the way up, revealing parts of his waist and a stretched waistband of his briefs peaking out from his low rise jeans on wide display. 

A pink blush spread across his cheeks, he bit his lower lip softly. His clasped hands suddenly burned at the point of contact on his waist. He had to focus on something else. The streets were suddenly looking very interesting.

The speed wasn’t something that would scare Firstone initially, but as Tle gradually picked up the speed, Firstone had to relocate one of his hands from his waist placing it diagonally across his chest. By accident, his hand grazed over Tle’s pec and the rapid heartbeat beneath it caught him off guard, beating so hard it almost felt frantic. 

He suddenly became hyperaware of the way Tle’s body was pressed against his, how his hands seemed to pull him in from every possible direction.

At around 2:30 in the morning, finding proper food stalls or restaurants felt nearly impossible. So they eventually stopped at a 24/7 convenience store, settling for quick snacks and drinks instead.

Firstone let go of his waist but somehow struggled to step down from the bike. Tle extended a hand from his back to place it on his arm to stop him for a second there. Very carefully Tle shifted in front and got off his bike, leaving Firstone there looking like an abandoned kid. 

Tle took both of their helmets.

“May I?” Tle reached out his hands to hug him and get him off. 

Sure, Phi Firstone wrapped both his hands extremely tightly on his neck from the fear of falling while Tle circled his hands around Firstone’s entire torso. For some reason Tle tilted his face as their faces were super close to each other’s, breaths mingling together. 

Tle furrowed his eyebrows looking intensely at his lips, he wanted to taste those pink plum lips, see him gasp for the same air that he was taking so easily. 

One look at Firstone’s doe eyes directed at him, and he had to fight his heart and mind and every nerve in his body to not kiss him senseless. Except he wasn’t going to make the same mistake he did last time. So the best he did was to make some space between them.

Firstone’s heart dropped to his stomach thinking he did something wrong and was very visibly discouraged. His head was already cloudy with the entire events of the night, Firstone wanted those hands to maybe do something, anything that would comfort him. Touch him. Maybe last a little longer.  

Tle was the first to break the silence, “Um...there wasn’t anything available right now, and this felt like the only option available…is that ok with you?” 

“It’s ok Phi, I understand” Firstone did everything in his power to look at him but failing miserably. His mouth switched when he forced a smile. 

Tle nodded and prompted them to walk inside the empty store. 

“Can you pass me my glasses?” Tle asked casually.

Thinking they were tucked inside the jacket, Firstone immediately started slipping it off his shoulders, only for Tle to stop him at once.

“No, keep it on,” he said quickly, unable to hide the small smile on his face. “I meant just the glasses.”

Firstone passed the glasses back to Tle, when both their hands brushed up against each other.

Firstone subtly pointed out how cold Tle’s hands were, though Tle dismissed it like it was nothing. To be fair, it was a chilly night, and driving around the city at that speed probably left his hands nearly frozen.

Without thinking much further, Firstone gently took Tle’s hand and guided it into the zip pocket of the jacket, trying to warm it. Yet despite being the one to initiate the contact, he still felt heat rush to his cheeks, blushing a deep red.

Tle did not want to give out a reaction but it was a bit difficult as he was standing at an edge nearly about to fall each time.

They picked all the items that would at least sate some of their hunger. Definitely not the one Tle had. Tle mentally has to slap himself each time to keep himself from getting those fucking thoughts.

They made their way to the self-checkout counter and billed everything together. Firstone tried insisting on splitting the cost, but Tle moved faster, swiping his card before he could argue further.

“You can get it next time,” Tle simply said, a small smile lingering on his face.

The words settled strangely, warmly in Firstone’s chest.

Next time.

The convenient store had no place for siting, so they mutually decided to go the same sidewalk they were the last time.

Somehow, it felt strangely familiar, something the two of them would quietly look forward to repeating.

Luckily, the place wasn’t far. Within five minutes, they had already arrived.

They fell into the same familiar routine from earlier: climbing off the bike, pulling off their helmets, lingering around each other longer than necessary.

Tle rested against the side of the bike while Firstone remained seated on it, his legs dangling idly as the night air settled around them.

Firstone’s cheeks were puffed when he stuffed a huge bite of that cold sushi roll, and Tle couldn’t resist but poke his cheek. A quiet blush settled on his cheek and he was smiling ear to ear. 

Tle noticed some cute habits he had while eating like furrowing his eyebrows while taking a bite, pouting while chewing. 

He looked immensely cute that he just wanted to squish his face in his hands and tease him to no end. 

“First” Tle spoke very delicately. 

Hmm. Firstone just hummed expecting Tle to say something, but the question never came and Firstone was just met with the softest adoring gaze. 

Tle had been wanting to ask did he cross the line, last time when he wanted to kiss him. Wanting to apologise if he really made him uncomfortable. But the words were at the tip of his tongue and died right there. 

So Tle just shook his head and dismissed it, diverting his eyes somewhere else. 

Firstone seem to sense the sort of hesitation and restraint Tle was showing and he thought he had to ask him this time so things don’t end up badly.

“P’Tle?” 

Tle fully turned around hearing his name, and suddenly felt an imaginary punch in his gut because Firstone looked heavenly with his hair blowing in the wind, his lips shining from the drink he just had. Him completely dissolving in Tle’s jacket, fingers barely visible where he placed them on his knees. 

“Is something wrong?” 

“No… why do you ask?”

Confusion flashed across Tle’s face almost immediately. His thoughts began spiraling at once, replaying the entire night in his head, trying to figure out if he had done something wrong. But honestly, he couldn’t think of a single thing.

“I don’t know… you seem a bit hesitant about something”

Tle was really left speechless because did not know how to respond that he really wanted to kiss him but he wasn’t sure if it would be the right time. 

Tle did not know if it was the wind bowing, the atmosphere or just Firstone simply existing and looking heavenly, his eyes glinting, mirroring his own self, to break his own confinement, choosing to be honest with him. 

“I just want to take it nice and slow… for you” Tle replied looking at his own hands placed on his thighs.

A moment passed until no one spoke. Tle was grateful for the quiet surrounding because he nearly would have missed it. 

“Do-do you really want to?” Firstone stuttered through the question. 

Tle snapped his neck towards him searching for his eyes for something, a reassurance that they were on the same page and he was not hearing things. 

Definitely not, baby, I want this as much as I need the air to survive. The thoughts were getting so loud in his head to say something, anything, so the next thing he did was just shake his head “no”, a barely audible sound came from his throat. 

Firstone just blushed and smiled like an idiot, flashing all his teeth simultaneously tearing his gaze from Tle, looking in front, when the wind covered his face with his hair.

Oh my god, fuck.

A shiver passed down Tle’s spine not from the cold but the way this was the first time he had seen Firstone smile this wide. 

Firstone turned his head back to look at him and noticed that he was in fact shivering. So he placed a hand on his cheek to check if he was cold. To his surprise, Tle was indeed a bit cold to touch. 

Tle instantly melted in his touch and eased further into his hand.

You are freezing. Firstone whispered gently, worry clear in his eyes.

His hands, still hidden inside the oversized jacket, moved to pull the front open slightly before he looked at Tle expectantly.

An unspoken invitation for him to come closer and warm his hands there instead.

A quiet laugh escaped his throat, Tle took his glasses out and rested them on his head. The glasses disappeared in his hair. 

Tle immediately straightened from the bike and moved closer without hesitation. Sliding his arms through the opening of the jacket, he wrapped them fully around Firstone’s back and pulled him flush against him.

He gently nuzzled into the warmth of Firstone’s neck before closing his eyes, breathing in slowly as the soft floral scent surrounding him settled into his senses. 

Shit he wanted to suck and bite that pretty skin of his. 

There was not an inch of a space left between them, Tle dragged his nose from his neck all the way up to the back of his ear, all open mouthed, breathing unevenly. 

Firstone fisted his hair and pressed Tle’s face further into his own neck to give him more access. 

In the heat of the moment, Tle took his tongue out and pressed an open mouth kiss on his neck, which earned Tle a hollow sound from him. They did not realise they were slowly panting. 

Tle put some distance between their faces but were close enough that he could count his lashes. They both stared at each other for a minute before Tle looked at Firstone’s lips, biting his own, a silent plea to meet those lips. Firstone gulped before he placed a slow kiss against his lips. 

And oh Tle was gone. 

There wasn’t a second wasted before he crashed their lips again, pulling him even more close as if they weren’t already. 

He steadied himself to not make them lose balance because Firstone was still sitting on the bike where Tle was leaning on both the bike and Firstone. 

Their lips moved in sync, like they belonged there. Tle tightened his hands around his entire body to feel him more.

Uhmm. A hearty sound escaped Firstone’s throat. 

Shit. Fucking hell. It went straight down to Tle’s dick. No. No. Fuck no. 

That was not going to happen right now, Tle thought, quickly separating them with a speed of light. 

Firstone looked so tempting with his eyes half lidded, lips slightly swollen from being kissed silly and fuck his cheeks and the very cute nose covered in pretty pink. A little annoyed too that he broke it off so quickly.

If it weren’t for the very open space, he would have fucked his way out on this very said bike, but he has to put a leash on his thoughts. 

“Want to come see my place?” Tle murmured between uneven breaths, still a little flushed from their kiss earlier. He did not want to miss a second for his breath to soothe out before asking, for the fear that the heat might die down.

Firstone could not look anywhere but at the other’s lips while a muffled yes came out.

Tle pecked him softly one more time. He removed his glasses and handed them over once more. Firstone caught onto the silent cue immediately, slipping them safely inside the jacket while Tle adjusted both helmets for them.

Once Tle got onto the bike, Firstone moved closer behind him, instinctively circling his arms around his waist like he had done earlier.

The ride to Tle’s house was way faster than before. Tle was exhausting the life out of that bike speeding. 

Firstone slapped his tummy lightly to signal him to slow down, although he was blushing and giggling, he knew of course the reason for urgency Tle was showing.

It nearly took them quite some time to arrive at Tle’s apartment. He parked his bike in the parking lot quickly. 

Ok let’s go. There was no rush when Tle spoke this time. He slipped his hand in Firstone’s, interlacing them. 

Firstone definitely noticed this time how huge Tle’s hands are with his veins bulging, even though they were slightly cold. He made a mental note to trace them if gets the opportunity. 

They walked leisurely to his apartment, he kept the helmets on the shelf that he insisted on carrying on just one hand, refusing to take Firstone’s help. The apartment wasn’t something extraordinary nor was it any simple, the interior was natural but it was scattered with his music instruments and some related stuff that he never even saw in his life.

“Phi, you have a lot of interesting stuff, do you mind, if I see?” Firstone was easily intrigued and asked excitedly, pointing at a guitar hung on the wall. Tle smiled and muttered to go ahead.

Firstone touched the guitar very gently, two of his fingers peaking out from the jacket he was still wearing. 

“Would you play something for me?” Firstone turned around and flashed a big smile at Tle.

“Sure, but I haven’t played it in a while, so I might need my capo” Tle took the guitar with one hand and walked up to his room to search for his capo and get his guitar pick too. 

Firstone just stood outside not knowing what to do since it would be awkward to just barge into someone's room, uninvited. When Tle did not see Firstone, he just urged him to come inside. 

So he stepped inside observing everything, the room had a faint smell of the same cologne from the jacket he was wearing. He walked up to his desk, leaning on it, thinking it would be the most appropriate place for now. 

Tle rummaged for the said things from his side table, taking the chair next to the desk. He took his sweet time sitting right in front of Firstone, while looking straight at his lips then back at his eyes. A quite blush crept on Firstone’s face.

He began adjusting some strings here and there. They both chuckled when a weird sound escaped from the string. 

After a while of testing he began stringing a snippet of a song Tle knew, he hummed and sang a line or two, before forgetting the notes altogether. 

Firstone patiently heard everything and casually glanced once or twice at his hands and the muscle pulling along with it.

“I guess I forgot the notes, and I can’t play that well.” Tle laughed, placing his guitar carefully on the bed. 

“No you did play well” Firstone said following his eyes. 

“Did I?” Tle stood up from the chair, placing both the hands by Firstone’s side, caging him. A cheeky smirk playing on his face. “What can I say, I’m very skilled with my hands”

Firstone looked at him from his lashes as Tle was hovering over him, trying not to smile.

This new bravery came from nowhere when Firstone hooked a finger in Tle’s jeans pulling him near, without his eyes wavering. Just close enough, challenging him, lips barely brushing. 

Tle slowly placed a hand at the back of Firstone’s head pulling him to taste his lips again. 

Again. And again. Until his body would scream for air. 

He gently scratched Firstone’s hair while the other hand separated his legs to make space for them to be more close, where he was sitting on the desk.

Firstone placed both his hands on his face, chest anywhere he could touch. Tle pulled him closer by the waist while Firstone hooked a leg from Tle’s behind to push him towards himself. 

The heat was crippling on Firstone’s body, he removed the jacket that he was still very much wearing, Tle simultaneously imposing his tongue deep into his mouth.  

Tle was so painfully hard, when they rubbed against each other subconsciously. Tle grabbed a handful of his ass softly, prompting to chase that friction. 

Phi. Ngh. A moan rolling off his tongue.

They separated for a brief moment to gasp for air before Tle moved to kiss his neck. Firstone tugged at Tle’s tee urging him to take it off. He kissed him on the lips briefly before taking it off. 

Firstone watched him with awe. He was still huffing when his hand slowly rested at his stomach, and he looked at Tle, a silent plea if he could touch him more. 

Firstone lost his composure further when his eyes met Tle’s half lidded and dazed out from their make out session. Tle nodded slightly, he began tracing his faint abs line. He hooked his fingers in the button of his jeans bringing him close trying to open them. Firstone placed an open mouth kiss on his collarbone. 

Firstone’s hand trembled when his hand accidently felt Tle’s hard on. Tle shut his eyes resting his forehead against Firstone’s when a quiet moan escaped him. 

“First wait” the thought scared him that he proceeded quite further without asking Tle. But all thoughts were put to rest when he spoke again.

“if we are going further, I don’t have any protection” Tle whispered, breath fanning on Firstone’s lips. 

It would be an understatement to say Firstone was shy before because now his face was literally burning from desire, and making him profusely blush. 

“We can just skip that for tonight, maybe just touching is fine” oh Firstone did not want to stop, the words that escaped his mouth surprised himself.

Tle took the hint and nodded in understanding. He slipped his hand under Firstone’s shirt, touching him hard before swiftly taking it off. 

Tle fidgeted with all of Firstone’s clothes until he was practically just in his briefs. His hands naturally came to rest on his thighs stroking a little at the sight before Tle.

Tle circled an arm behind his back picking him up while Firstone hooked both his legs on his waist. They were kissing with open mouths with barely any space between their bodies. 

Tle laid him on the bed simultaneously pushing the damn guitar out of the way. They kissed for what felt like an eternity, when Tle felt Firstone uncoordinately rubbing his dick against Tle. 

A smirk settled on his face when he shifted to suck his neck.

“Baby, relax a little” 

He started tracing down his lips, from his soft pink nipple, circling his tongue around it before he moved past his stomach placing gentle kisses till his hands reached for Firstone’s underwear taking off the last piece of clothing on him. Firstone watched him with lust clouding his head. 

Fuck.

What Tle did not expect was him already leaking a little. Firstone tried to close his legs but failed because Tle’s hands had a hard grip, separating them firmly.

Firstone tilted to hide his face in the pillow when Tle lips lingered very close to his tip. 

“First, baby don’t hide your pretty face… let me see it” Firstone looked down from his hooded eyes where Tle was already staring at him with hunger. 

Tle suddenly repositioned himself to kiss the inside of his thigh gently. Sucking on the tender skin leaving a deep coloured mark on him.

Ngh P’Tle.  First shuddered a little closing his eyes when he traced his teeth taking a lingering bite onto it. The moan went straight to Tle’s dick making him realise he was just as painfully hard too. 

Tle worked his way up to take the already leaking dick in his hands to taste the tip on his tongue. 

Oh fuck. A choked up sound escaped Firstone’s lips when he threw his head back. 

Tle worked painfully slow on his dick, making Firstone a little impatient. 

“Phi, stop teasing” the frustration clear on his face. 

“Say what you want” Tle gripped his dick a little tighter around making Firstone whimper a little. 

Tle mouthed Come on baby, urging him to speak between his own arousal. 

“Phi please, I want your lips on my- oh my god” Firstone was cut off when Tle took him entirely in his mouth, because he himself was a little impatient. Although he did spare him mercy this time around. 

Tle worked his way at a fast rhythm, while Firstone made a string of messy moans, absent mindlessly fisting his hands in Tle hair. 

Tle had to ground him on the bed using his hands on the thighs because he might end up thrusting his entire dick, which he might be unprepared for at initial times. 

The room was filled with whimpers and moans, licking and sucking for him to make more of those pretty sounds. Firstone sensed he was on the edge, so warned Tle that he was about to come, but other remained unmoved, working even faster to make him orgasm. 

He tried to break free slightly, but was a little too late when he came with a loud moan, everything spilling in the other’s mouth. Tle wiped the corner of his mouth before he stood up, crawling back on his knees to kiss him soft and desperate. Firstone realised Tle was still wearing his jeans and was probably hard as fuck.

“Take your jeans off” Firstone said, a voice barely even coming out. 

Tle stood up half way to get all the clothes off his body. He felt the ache in his dick, so he placed a loose hand on it, stroking slowly while he closed his eyes tilting his face up. 

Firstone was salivating at his lips but what he only did was take his dick in his hand and started stroking the same way Tle had done a few minutes ago.

Tle crashed his body on top of Firstone until both of them were lying together on the bed. He stroked him in between both their tummies, Tle’s abs flexing with every move. 

The strength was not enough for Tle when he caught Firstone’s hand on his dick along with both of theirs together. He gripped them tightly, making Firstone squirm under him. Tle’s hand was big enough to take everything in just one hand.

Fuck this feels so good P’Tle. Firstone mumbled under his breath.

Yeah? Come for me again, baby. Tle sucked at his skin to control himself from coming yet. He quickened the pace while tightening his hand.

Firstone felt it again and came, spilling on both their hands. Meanwhile Tle still held them stroking until he came a minute later with a growl, Firstone’s eyes rolled back being overstimulated when Tle was still at it. 

It took a while for Firstone to regain his senses from being high. They crashed body on body, Tle dragged his lips from his neck to Firstone’s lips in a soft and unrushed kiss, smiling into it.

He wrapped his hands around Tle’s neck until their breaths evened out. 

“I’ll be back, wait here” Tle stood up after regaining some energy to get a wet towel from the bathroom. 

Firstone nodded and suddenly felt shy when he watched him walk naked to the bathroom. 

When Tle returned back with the wet towel, he bit his lower lip because of the fucking scene that was displayed infront of him.

A mess of his bed, the light shining on his body, most importantly the man lying on his bed, naked and shy with his face buried in the pillow. He looked ethereal with his pink face, hair ruffled and a few fading hickies on his neck and thighs. 

He was peeking at Tle from the pillow, with one eye, breathing shakily. Tle walked up to him, taking in every part of him in memory, he kissed him softly, before cleaning everything and changing the sheets. 

The time blurred from the entire events of the night, Tle switched the lights off and urged him to sleep in his arms. Firstone buried his face in his neck while gently stroking his hips with his thumb. 

They talked for a little while, about this and that when Tle popped the question. 

“I have been meaning to ask you”

Uh hmm. Firstone shifted to look at him properly. 

“When we first met I remember you being sad about something” Firstone’s face instantly changed and he was thankful that Tle wasn’t able to see his expression in the dark.

Keeping it to himself would have been easier, but Firstone couldn’t bear the thought of becoming the same person he despised, the kind who left feelings unspoken and questions unanswered.

So he did what was best and honest, he spoke about the guy who used to be so caring for him, would get worried, jealous, sometimes behave like a boyfriend, sometimes a best friend. 

They would kiss occasionally but nothing beyond that ever happened, he would name it platonic. Although he would panic if someone ever got to see them together. Unless, one day he went ahead and slept with a random guy. 

Firstone learned in this entire process, it wasn’t that he was scared to come out, he was just a scumbag who used him to sort his feelings for the guy he actually liked. 

Tle listened to him intently, his heart broke for Firstone, for everything that happened with him. He thought it was better for Firstone anyway, to be away from such a bastard.

But Tle came to realise. Is he still in love with that guy? 

A hundred different questions popped up in his brain. This question however weighed the heaviest.

Was he just a rebound for Firstone all this time?

His heart dropped to his stomach. The minute he meant to ask Firstone any of it, he found him in deep sleep, peaceful as ever, like he did not just crush his heart. 

Tle could not sleep the entire night, overthinking all things that happened last night. He lost all the courage to ask him any questions that he had been meaning to. He might not be able to bear the answers. 

He watched the boy sleeping, thinking if he were to slip out of his arms, so the best thing he thought was that he needed time to sort it all out for himself. 

When the morning light hit his windows, Tle slipped out of his bed, pulling the blanket to cover Firstone properly. The other shifted slightly, opening his eyes just a little. 

Where are you going? He mumbled something pouting a tad bit, voice muffled with sleep. 

The power it took for Tle not to pounce on this bed and kiss him silly. Breakfast, baby. Tle muttered and placed a slow and lingering kiss on his temple. 

Firstone closed his eyes and smiled in his sleep and Tle could fucking hear his heart shatter. He quickly dressed up and stepped out to get him breakfast. 

There was a little hope that Firstone would not wake up before he came back, because he was not ready to confront any of his feelings just yet. 

He couldn’t figure out what Firstone liked to eat or if he was picky. So he got a variety of it also because they couldn’t have dinner properly last night. 

Tle opened the door of his apartment carefully to not make any sound and wake him up. 

He placed the food on the table, left notes all over. Without disturbing anything he packed some of his clothes and rushed out of his own apartment. 

A while later when Firstone woke up, he extended his hand to find the other side of the bed empty. 

Phi? He looked around but found no one. 

Firstone grunted and rose from the bed, he walked up to the desk, a sticky note on a fresh pair of clothes and toiletries, reading here’s some clothes and things, so you could freshen up. 

He was confused as to where Tle was since he was not in the bedroom. He quickly remembered home saying something about breakfast. So he thought to look for Tle outside of the room, quickly realising he was naked and can’t step out like this. 

The time taken to shower was rather quick, he dressed up and stepped out to look for Tle. The entire apartment was empty. 

“Phi? P’Tle?” He started growing anxious now. Suddenly, he noticed some food, covered on the table near the kitchen. 

Another note placed, I stepped out for some work, would probably be late, have some breakfast and don’t wait for me :)

It wasn’t something particularly bad, on the contrary better than all the thoughts that crossed his mind. 

He sat on the chair adjacent to the table, noticing a lot of food, a third note underneath the bowl. 

He picked it gently, didn’t know what you’d like so I bought everything, you can microwave what you like. 

There was a fuzzy feeling in his chest when he read it. He took his phone out to take a picture and noticed it’s about to die. 

After he was satisfied with a few pictures, Firstone had something quick and kept the other half in the refrigerator. 

Since Firstone also had work calls, he had to leave the other’s apartment. But before doing so he was recalled that they still haven’t exchanged numbers yet. 

He took a note from the table leaving a message too, thanking him for the food and left his number. 

The day went by as usual, but Firstone was particularly giddy thinking about last night’s events. He was hoping to get a call or a text from Tle.

However, when the day fell, he felt strange when Firstone did not receive a single missed call or even a text, the paranoia started settling in his mind. 

Was last night bad for him? 

Does he regret it?

Was I just a casual thing to him? 

And hundred different questions, he did not want to get into another situation like the previous one.

Firstone thought he needed to be a little optimistic about this. So the best thing he tried to convince himself that it could be something else. 

He might have not seen the note.

He must have lost the note.

If that’s the case he might be waiting for me to come find him. 

So two days later, he thought of visiting Tle’s work place to maybe look for him. 

An entire two day’s worth spent in gloominess, because there was no response. 

Standing in front of the same place where this all started, he stepped inside and looked around for a few minutes but with no luck, he did not find Tle.

If Firstone was honest, this was beyond embarrassing, to do this because not even his previous situation made him do such things. 

This is not because he was clinging onto something but because he hated not getting closure more than anything.

The last of the hope he was holding, he did remember his assistant that was present in the DJ booth instead of the one who should have been there. 

He walked up to him, asking if he had seen Tle. But with utter disappointment, nobody knew his whereabouts. 

Although without fail he did manage to get Tle’s number this time. How? Someone would ask. Because his assistant did fucking notice them together and got the hint. 

He walked out in a hurry trying to call him, and it went straight to voicemail. Now Firstone was beyond annoyed. 

Fuck it. Fuck him. 

He thought taking a cab to go home, while waiting for one, he thought to check the place they had fucking visited twice. 

His mind was spiralling. If he found him there, he was going to kill him for sure. 

What bastard just leaves like that. 

A while later, Firstone reached the same sidewalk they once spent time and kissed, he found Tle sitting on the car’s bonnet, looking at nothing.

From a distance, he failed his number and tried calling him again to see whether he added his number or not. 

A ring once, twice and more, he took his phone out, looked at the caller ID and put it back in his jean’s pocket. 

Oh he was a dead fucking man.

He walked towards this guy in fury.

“You gotta be kidding me, Phi” Firstone was extremely hurt. He shoved Tle lightly on his shoulder. 

“After I told you everything you decided to leave and ghost me?” 

Tle was shocked for a brief moment of time seeing Firstone actually standing in front of him. 

It was clear he was hurt and Tle should have done a better job at explaining everything, maybe needed a little more time too, because he was paranoid too if Firstone even liked him like that.  

But he understood seeing Firstone here that he should have at least had a talk instead of being a coward and ignoring him all along. 

“I’m sorry, First I’ve been a bit busy… sorting out things” He began to redeem himself, still showing very much of that cowardice.

“Phi, you seriously want me to believe that?”

“You could’ve said that you regret this and don’t want to do anything with me anymore and don’t you fucking dare to lie because I just saw my number on your phone” Firstone poured everything out that he had been particularly not overthinking and wanted to get it out. 

Tle could no longer hear all this because none of the things he was hearing were true. Moreover, he got more upset that this is how Firstone saw him. Well of course for obvious reasons, but Tle was going to be nothing like that.

The very next second all of his emotions burst out. Because he wanted to be honest and stay and take this further.

“I don’t know First, I like you too much to think you love someone else and I was just a rebound” every word felt like the pang of a knife being twisted.  

They were hurting each other. 

In an instant, Firstone’s mind went blank, and somewhere along the lines both of them realised all of this hurtful conversations wouldn’t have happened if they both spoke their mind on that very night. 

It was only that they spoke through their bodies but not their hearts when everything could have been avoidable. 

A minute later, Firstone spoke in a slightly hushed tone I like you too, Phi. 

“I have long forgotten everything, it was you and just you in the moment we had”

They looked at each and thought no other conversation was further needed. All the Hesitation. Misconception. Push and pull was forgotten or maybe a talk for another day. 

The hurt remained, but what weighed even more was the realization buried beneath every confession, that their feelings for each other were real, painfully real, and never once fabricated in this short while that they knew each other.

“Are you going to stand there and not kiss me?” Firstone spoke with quiet desperation, needing something, someone to anchor him before his life drifted any further into the same exhausting cycle of giving and getting nowhere in return.

Tle did not waste a second before crushing his mouth on Firstone’s. It wasn’t anything careful or smooth, but rushed and rough. Tle was trying to get this across his head that he was in dire need of Firstone too. 

Firstone fisted his fingers in Tle’s hair, he did not fucking care if there was anyone watching. Tle kissed him so messily, passion dripping off their lips. He grabbed a handful of his ass and pushed gently near the side of his car, pressing his very hard on against his. Firstone painfully parted from lips, but Tle was not ready to let go, chasing his lips, slowly biting his lower lip into that sloppy kiss. 

Tle rubbed his hard on with parted lips gasping for air. Yet he still wanted to drown in that desire and unlearn that he ever knew how to breathe. He furrowed his eyebrows, closing his eyes while a very audible moan escaped his mouth. 

Phi, please. It took immense level of willpower for Firstone to stop and remind Tle that they are still very much in a public place. 

Firstone just smiled sweetly after all this chaos and Tle’s heart swelled a little. He just placed a soft lingering kiss, and Tle had to really contain himself because as much as he would like fuck him right here, he did have to maintain some decorum. 

Tle’s mind was so clouded with a burning desire. All his senses screamed at him with just one fucking name. 

Firstone. Firstone. Firstone. 

Oh he was fucked for life.