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The most striking thing about Yoichi Shigaraki is his eyes. They were naturally the first thing Kudo saw when he busted down that door; they're just that magnetic. Maybe if he had looked anywhere else in the very limited time they had to spare, things would've turned out differently. But he didn't, and the opalescent glow he made direct contact with nearly made him doubt this man could be related to one with eyes that held no more light or color than frosted glass -- and even knowing he was, it told him everything he needed to know about anything they could possibly have in common, or the total lack thereof, besides blood and a birthday.
Which was stupid of him, of course. This wasn't some fairy tale, and people's eyes aren't literally windows to the soul. For all he knew then, the twins might have been exactly the same, and judging that particular book by its cover would have been the end of him. A silent, visual siren's song he would've fallen for hook, line, and sinker in a matter of seconds. But whether by some idea of 'fate' that's just as silly, or more likely just dumb luck, his most basal instincts had been the right thing to trust.
And that's why the moment Kudo realized just how much effort had been put into snuffing out the fire in those eyes, only for them to still hold flames as fiercely green as burning copper, was the moment he knew he had accidentally fallen in love. He had never felt such an overwhelming mixture of anger and pride -- so incredibly proud of Yoichi for resisting all his life, but furious that he'd had anything so horrible to resist in the first place.
Unfortunately that revelation, as exhilarating as it was, brought nothing but shame and worry. All the years of being pestered about not meeting a nice girl that eventually felt more like an outright accusation than simple nagging... the unspoken accusation in question apparently had truth to it. He'd thought he just didn't like anyone that way all this time; he was around guys all the time, never once had he felt more for them than friendship at best. But then there was Yoichi, who somehow felt like so much more than just figuring out what his ‘type’ is.
Yoichi, who has noticed him staring for who knows how long and is staring back with a timid, uncertain smile; one that practically begs Kudo to make it bigger, to give him back the confidence and joy and safety to grin wide and show his teeth. If only Kudo weren't exercising his own restraint, or thought he was any good at cheering people up in the first place, he would try no questions asked.
"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Yoichi finally asks, a nervous ghost of a laugh making its way into the last word.
Because you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Kudo thinks.
"You got charcoal on your face," Kudo actually says.
It isn't a lie at least. The guy gets pretty careless when he's drawing, as Kudo had found out earlier. And Yoichi wipes it off right on his white sleeves without even looking away from him, shy smile turning into a mischievous ‘oops!’ of a little smirk when he seems to realize what he's just done only after the fact. Good grief. He makes even something like that look graceful and pretty. “I'm sure I'll live. Why were you really looking at me like that?”
Smartass. He didn't think he'd get called out on that, and there wasn't exactly a backup plan for the off chance Yoichi did push the issue further. “.. Can't it just be that?” Kudo replies for lack of anything better to say for himself, truly asking permission for it to be just that, thus proving that it isn't.
And of course it couldn't be. He already knows that as he’s asking. In the short time they've known each other, one thing Kudo has learned about Yoichi is that he wants the truth. He wants what's right, no matter how difficult circumstances may make it to do the right thing. His defiance for the sake of justice had been a smack in the face to All For One; there was no way in hell he'd back down from anyone else.
“I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do, or say anything you're not ready to say,” Yoichi begins, addressing the charcoal stain on his shirt instead of Kudo. “And I don't want to make assumptions either, but I can't do neither, y'know?”
Those hypnotic eyes travel from the black smudge on the white fabric, and Kudo follows them… to his own hand. Suddenly self conscious, he almost pulls it back. As though he touched a hot stove the day he reached that same hand out to Yoichi, and now he's protecting it from further harm. Not from being burned by Yoichi himself, but by his own unfamiliar feelings. He narrowly resists the urge.
“And I'm definitely not forcing you,” Yoichi goes on. “You've never forced me to do anything, and… well. Obviously I'm pretty used to being forced to do things, so that means a lot to me. But then that leaves me to wonder what you're thinking when you won't say it, and try to come up with my own answers.”
The bare minimum of human decency ‘means a lot to him.’ God, he deserves so much better than he's had. Kudo wishes he wasn't so afraid to try to give him even a little more than that. “That's nothing you should thank people for,” Kudo points out, still avoiding the actual question.
“Well, I'm grateful,” Yoichi retorts simply. “Kudo…” He finally looks back up at him, and Kudo swears he sees a faint blush across his cheeks. Just enough warm color to contrast his snow white hair, the pallor of his skin, those damn eyes. Kudo’s heart batters against the inside of his ribs. Might just be wishful thinking. “Do you… like me?”
It's such a childish way to ask. A harsh reminder that Yoichi doesn't have any experience with this, or the outside world in general, but also an adorable one. Dammit. “I… shouldn't,” Kudo grits out.
“That's not what I'm asking,” Yoichi protests. “And why shouldn't you, if you do?”
“Because – !”
That's actually a really good question. It's so tempting to just brush it off as Yoichi not knowing anything about how the world actually works outside of his brother, but… Kudo doesn't actually know either. He's never thought about why these things are such a big deal to so many people; why it should matter who loves who as long as everyone involved is happy.
“I don't know,” he settles on, with a frustrated sigh. “That's just the way it is, I guess. My family… they'd be mad.”
To his shock, Yoichi starts laughing. A genuine, uncontrollable laugh that starts as a poorly suppressed chuckle and quickly escalates to full-on belly laughter. It's an ethereal sound – pure, bright, and resonant like bells, but…
“Are you making fun of me?” Kudo accuses him, despite being unable to keep the rare smile off his own face.
Yoichi wipes tears from his eyes with his sleeves, making himself look like a panda with the charcoal. “Your family would be mad?”
“Pff.” Kudo knows it's an underwhelming response, because obviously he does understand why this is so funny to him. But still… “That's different. It's not like that, they just… y'know. Want me to be with a woman.” He manages to find a rag for Yoichi to properly remove all the charcoal with and hands it to him.
Yoichi seems to think this over as he wipes his face and hands clean. “Is that what you want?”
“...” No. It never has been. But Kudo stays silent.
Yoichi stays silent as well, looking at him expectantly for an answer.
Instead, Kudo answers the question with another question, even though it's one he's pretty certain at this point he knows the answer to. “Do you like me?”
Yoichi inches a bit closer, and Kudo's stomach does a backflip. “Yeah. I do. A lot. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that if you don't, no matter what anyone else thinks.” When enough time passes with Kudo staring shellshocked like a deer in headlights, Yoichi reaches out to touch his face, leaning in closer still. “Can I kiss you?” he asks quietly.
Instead of answering, instead of even thinking about it too hard, Kudo closes the shrinking gap between their lips. It's electric. He's never kissed anyone before, and yet the second he does, it's like his mouth has always belonged on Yoichi’s. His hands make their way into long, unruly white hair, shocking himself with his own involuntary little moan just at how incredibly soft he finds it to be when he tangles his fingers into it.
It ends up being a blur. He doesn't know what happens when, he just knows that at one point or another their lips part to make way for tongues and occasional teeth, Yoichi’s arms sling around his shoulders, and sooner or later the smaller man ends up in his lap, fully straddling him. By the time they finally release each other, they're both panting, and in this position he can feel that they're both already getting hard.
“Do you still care about things ‘just being the way they are?’” Yoichi asks teasingly, with a much bigger smile than before, while he catches his breath.
“Not really,” Kudo replies without hesitation, hands still laced into his hair. “Is this okay?” he asks, just to be sure.
“Yes,” Yoichi answers, even firmer in his conviction. “Please,” he adds, rolling his skinny hips in a way that makes them both gasp and tighten their hold on one another. “My hero.”
“Fuck,” Kudo shudders out, pulling him back into another kiss, even more passionate and desperate than the first had turned out. Enough grinding on each other gets him overexcited, and he knocks them down, landing on top of Yoichi and still between his legs. The heavy thud as their bodies collide with the floor jolts him out of his hungry trance. “Shit, Yoichi, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you? I got carried away –”
“Kudo.” Yoichi cuts him off, touching his face again. So gently in contrast to his own eager shoving, like Kudo is the one who needs to be cradled like a porcelain doll. The serenity in his gorgeous eyes, and the hot flush that's crept across his face from ear to ear and down his neck, tells him that he doesn't mind at all. “You know what you saved me from. I'm not going to break from a little bit of roughhousing.”
“I never want to put you through more pain,” Kudo whispers back, tears pricking at his eyes despite his best efforts.
“You won't. You couldn't,” Yoichi insists. “I want you. I want this. I'm choosing it of my own free will, which is something you've given me from the second you knocked down that door.” To Kudo's stunned silence and staring, he continues, “You didn't make me come with you. You didn't grab my hand that day, you just reached yours out to me. I decided to go. And I'm still deciding to be here.” He bucks his hips impatiently, letting out a stuttering breath. “I’ve never felt like this before. So… please. If you want it too, please…”
“Please what?” Kudo asks, voice barely there.
Yoichi's formerly unhealthily pasty skin flushes an even deeper shade of red. “Make love to me?” he asks, that shy smile returning to his angelic face.
“Christ,” Kudo grumbles, those words melting away the last of his doubts. To hell with anyone who would say something that feels this right is wrong for no good reason. “I… I need to grab something to get you ready. Wait here for a second.”
After he reluctantly gets up and out of Yoichi’s embrace, Kudo almost frantically rummages through the same cluttered drawer where he'd found the rag until he procures a packet of petroleum jelly from a first aid kit. It'll have to do; he refuses to hurt him going in dry. When he returns to where they were on the floor, he's greeted by the sight of Yoichi naked from the waist down, thin legs spread invitingly, lazily stroking himself and looking up at him with half-lidded crystalline eyes like he put the stars in the sky. Fuck, for a second he's afraid he's going to cum just looking at that. “Ready, hero?”
“You better knock that off if you want me to ever make it inside you,” Kudo warns, going red himself at the embarrassing admission as he drops his pants and rips the packet open, wasting no time thoroughly slicking up two fingers and getting back on the floor between his legs. The hungry gaze Yoichi directs at his twitching cock, and the way he bites his lip like he doesn't even know he's doing it, doesn't go unnoticed. “Oh no, why do you keep staring at me like that?” Kudo mocks in an imitation of Yoichi's voice, using his earlier words against him.
He just laughs and shoves him playfully. “You know exactly why.”
“Yeah.” Kudo circles Yoichi's hole gently with a slick finger, bringing his free hand to his cock to distract him when his breath hitches. “Relax,” he coaxes, giving him a few leisurely tugs while he slips that first finger inside.
Yoichi’s responses are immediate and shameless, starting right out moaning and trembling. “Kudo,” he whines, lifting his hips. And then he seizes up, gasping as his eyes go wide when that changes the angle he's fingering him at. “There,” he pleads, grabbing Kudo by the wrist like he'll take his hand away if he doesn't hold it still. “Don't stop.”
Kudo snorts. “I don't have much of a choice other than stopping if you keep me from moving my hand like that.”
Yoichi lets out a bashful giggle right back, releasing his grip. “Sorry.”
He shakes his head fondly, jerking him off faster by just a fraction as he pushes the second finger in alongside the first and starts to stretch him open. He could drown in the sounds of Yoichi's bliss right now if only that wouldn't make it too difficult to hold out long enough to get to the good part.
Much to his relief, Yoichi is getting just as impatient. “That's enough,” he begs urgently, swatting at his hands. “I don't want to cum yet. I'm ready.”
They don't say another word to each other as Kudo finds a comfortable position and hurriedly replaces his fingers with his cock, making them both cry out louder than expected. “Fuck,” is the first actual word spoken, choked out by Kudo as his vision blurs from the way his eyes want to cross and flutter the second he gets just the tip of his aching length inside. “Fuck, Yoichi, you're so tight…”
“Hurry,” Yoichi eggs him on, trying to push him in further by thrusting his own hips. “All of it, I promise I can take it. Please, my hero –” He cuts himself off with a warbling cry as that proves enough for Kudo to slam in the rest of the way. “Yes!” And the noise he makes when Kudo grabs him by the waist, looking for the same angle that let him hit his sweet spot before and expertly finding it, is enough to make him lose control completely, pounding him like his life depends on it. In Kudo's already fuck-drunk delirium, it does for all he knows.
“God, you're gorgeous,” Kudo babbles, moving one hand from Yoichi's waist to thread into his hair again, curling his body downwards to bury his nose in it and inhale it like that's the only way he can breathe. It's like silk against his face, the wispy strands tickling his skin, damp at the roots with sweat and smelling like Yoichi… “You're so perfect, what the hell did you do to me…”
“I should… be the one asking you that,” Yoichi barely manages to reply, nails scraping at Kudo's back through his shirt. He takes that as a cue to pull away from him for just a moment to take the damn thing off, rewarded for his efforts with Yoichi feeling up his pecs appreciatively during the brief interlude. They take a moment to catch their breath together, movements slowed, prolonging things just for the sake of not being done yet.
“Having fun there?” Kudo teases as Yoichi full on gropes his chest.
“No more fun than you were having with my hair,” Yoichi quips back.
“I guess I never realized I was into that. It's… really nice,” Kudo murmurs, ridiculously bashful considering the circumstances.
“Well, so are your boobs,” Yoichi replies with a devilish smirk that looks so out of place on his deceptively innocent face, giving them a particularly firm squeeze.
He scoffs, swatting his hands away. “Don't call them that! Weirdo.”
After another moment of laughing together and shoving each other, they come in close again for another deep kiss before picking the pace back up, moaning into each other's mouths.
The break could only extend things so far. “I'm so close,” Kudo wheezes when their lips part again, but only slams into him even faster, with even more force, showing no intention of stopping again.
Yoichi is beyond a coherent reply, gasping for air and grabbing onto Kudo's shoulder for dear life with one hand and reaching down between their sweaty bodies to touch himself with the other. “I… I'm… mm… Kudo! I love you!” he finally manages to say.
Those three little words are like the match that lights the fireworks. They pull each other impossibly close, touching at as many points as they physically can, as they bring each other over the edge.
It takes what feels like more than a full minute for them both to come down enough to get back to reality. Kudo isn't sure when he collapsed on top of Yoichi, but the other definitely isn't complaining about his weight, nuzzling into his neck happily. “My hero,” he purrs, peppering his collarbone with little kisses.
“Did you mean it?” Kudo asks breathlessly, rising enough to make eye contact.
“What, when I said I loved you?” There's the smile he's been waiting for. Uninhibited and brighter than the sun, so perfect and real. “Do you even need to ask?”
“Yeah.” Kudo smiles back. “Just because I want to hear you say it again.”
“I love you,” Yoichi says again. And again, and again, repeating it until he's too tired to say anything at all and falls asleep right there on the floor beneath him.
Kudo shakes his head fondly and picks him up, carrying him to somewhere more comfortable to sleep. “Then I'm never letting you go,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to his forehead.