Chapter Text
"Fuck you Oswald!" Ed shouts at me. "Please stop, I'm sorry," I plea to him. "Why should I stop," He questions eerily calm now. "Because I didn't mean to break your glasses, I'm so sorry," I sob into my knees. Tears start falling from my eyes. Ed slaps me with the back of his hand, "Don't try and make me sorry for you, Oh I'm Oswald I'm pretending to be sad so I can win this fight." Ed mocks. I get up and try to run to my room. He grabs my wrist and yanks me back down to the ground spraining my ankle and dislocating my wrist and shoulder. I yelp in pain. A steady stream of tears begin falling down my face. I feel like I'm going to choke. My face stings from where I was hit earlier by Ed. I start getting the thoughts again. That I was worthless, that I should die. That I don't deserve Ed and thats why he's so easy to make mad. Ed notices my shoulder hanging limply. "Holy shit, it's all my fault I'm sorry. It's just my dark side has been taking over more often and he hates you, but I love you." He says while taking off his shirt. "W-w-w-what are you doing Ed?" I say trying to hide my blush. He takes one side of the shirt in his teeth and the other in his hands and rips it. "This is going to hurt Baby bird, and I'm sorry if I hurt you too badly," he says. "Take off your shirt," Ed says as if it's nothing, even though I'm flustered I do so. He grabs my hand and puts his otther hands palm on the right side of my chest. He pushes with his palm and pulls with the hand holding mine. I yell loudly in pain. "I'm so so sorry." Ed says sadly. He wraps my wrist and shoulder in two dofferent sides of his shirt as a make shift brace. I start to feel cold, my teeth soon start chattering. Ed takes my hand and helps me up. I follow him to his Bedroom. He grabs a blanket and a T.V. remote. "If you want to go change you can," Ed says reading my mind. I do so. I come back to see Ed watching Courage the Cowardly Dog holding 2 cups of tea. "Let me help you," he says kinda quietly. He sets the tea on the nightstand. He wraps me in the blanket and helps me into his bed. Then I notice he is only wearing boxers. I blush.He hands me a tea mug. I slowly scoot closer throughout the next few hours. When I'm close enough i snuggle up against him and lay my head on his shoulder. I feel him smile and lay his head on mine. "Ed I need to tell you something," I say scared to see his reaction. He nods. "I was recently diagnosed with depression and some self harm disorder." I say quickly. "Does self harm disorder mean your likely to hurt yourself or you already do?" He questions. "I already do," I say slowly feeling my heart stop in my chest. A tear falls down Eds cheek, he hugs me kisses my cheek. 'I think he still likes me' I think to myself. Ed wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him and onto his lap. I nuzzle my face into his chest. Pretty soon I fall asleep in the comfort and safety of his arms. I wake up to the smell of scrambled eggs with cheese and panckes. Ed is gone so I head into the bathroom and start punching my abdomen. I soon enough start clawing at my chest. Then I hear footsteps. I quickly and quietly run back to the bed and pretend to be asleep. "Birdy, I made breakfast for us." Ed says quietly. I pretend to stay asleep. I can feel him giggling at my sleeping form. "Ozzie wake up," Ed says as he nudges me. I pretend to just barely be waking up. "Come on my little birdy, I made breakfast and coffee for us." he says a little louder. I get up and follow him to the dining room. Instead of sitting on chairs we sit on a bench so we can cuddle. I kiss his lips lovingly. We pull apart and both smile. I can't believe we went from Ed abusing me to us exchanging kisses and cuddling within a few hours. Ed looks a little troubled for some reason. Then he starts banging his head on the table and screams, "SHUT UP WE LOVE EACH OTHER, NO!!!" Then he stops and looks at me predatorially. He grabs my hair and slams my head on the the table. Up and down on the table. After a while of this he keeps on slamming my head but also, crying and hitting himself with his other hand. He stops. He starts slamming his own head against the table. I grab his shoulders and make him stop. He looks at me and his eyes tell me that he is pleading for something. "I'm sorry," He says quietly. I think he was pleading for me to let him punish himself. I grab his wrist and weakly tug him upstairs into my bedroom. We both climb under the sheets and I lay my head on his chest. I close my eyes. "Oswald please don't go to sleep, I need someone to stay with me." he pauses, "I'm sorry," he whispers. I snuggle up against his chest. My eyes meet his and for once I see all the pain and torcher hiding behind riddles and jokes. He doesn't let out his emotions. The most emotion I've ever seen him reveal and that was to me, a person he trusts greatly was a few tears and him saying I'm sorry very often. He looks into my eyes and he sees, the pain of seeing my mother die, and seeing what had just happened to him and his partner. "I'm so sorry," He says putting much more emotion into his words than usual. I grab his shoulders and pull him into a tight embrace. I hear him sniffle and not much later he starts sobbing into my neck. "Oswald I have a confession." He says under his breath just loud enough for me to hear. "What is it my dear?" I ask him scared of his answer. "I saw you this morning, you were punching yourself and dragging your nails across your skin." He says tears still streaming down his cheeks. "Now it's my turn to say I'm sorry," I giggle sadly. "Why did you start?" he asks crying more and more by every minute. He starts mking a hiccup noise every few seconds. "When I was younger kids make fun of me for how I walked, for how much depression and anxiety I had running through my body, and how much love I had for anyone who got close to me." I say sadly. "I started cutting and drawing with knives on my skin and burning my flesh at the age of 6." Ed shakes his head in sadness and disbelief. "Then, when I was 10 I started picking at my scars and making sure my scars were permanent." I say as if it is nothing. "And at the age of 16 I started punching myself and hitting into walls." I say. "No, My little bird never deserved this." He says still in shock. "I am your demons and sadness, but I'm comforting to some, what am I?" I ask him. "Depression," Ed says barely even a second after I told him my riddle. "My bird may have a broken wing, but that doesn't mean I can't help him get better. I may not be able to fully earase all the bad memories and fully fix him but, I will still try, even though my bird is beautiful anyway." Ed says a glint of hope and love in his eyes. I smile at him sadly. I look up at the clock and realize it was already 7:00 P.M. We stay up all night talking and drinking tea. Cuddling and kissing. I put my hand on his chest when he starts kissing me a little to roughly for me to be comfortable. "I'm sorry," He says looking down at my feet. "Stop saying your sorry, you don't need to feel bad." I say passionately. He kisses me tenderly on my lips. And then he mouths through the kiss, "I love you."