Chapter Text
“Okay, okay.” Alex muttered to herself. “Calm down. It’s not a date. It’s not…right?”
The brunette waved her hands in vertical parallel lines as if trying to gesture a car to go straight. “Focus.”
Alex Danvers knew it wasn’t a date, but she couldn’t help but wonder if it was a pre-date. The pair had grown closer since Alex had come out to her two weeks ago at the Dolly Parton Dive Bar. Yesterday, Maggie had asked her out for a drink.
It was still such a surprise to Alex that she was gay. She had never considered that it was the reason she didn’t like being intimate with men. Until someone suggested she might be, Alex never knew she could be.
The secret agent connected it back to watching Grey’s Anatomy years ago when Dr. Callie Torres first slept with Dr. Erica Hahn. She had watched the episode with Kara, but had not been paying attention to it. She only tolerated the show because Kara loved it. The agent got lots of reading done over the seasons of Grey’s Anatomy; dealing with Kara insisting she looked like the character Dr. Lexie Grey. She did not look like little Grey.
Alex had happened to pause reading a journal article when the scene had come up on TV. Kara had squealed in delight because she totally shipped Callie and Erica. Her words, not Alex’s. Erica’s coming out scene would have remained lost in her memory if it hadn’t come into play years later in the present.
Erica had been in awe of sleeping with Callie, realizing she was in fact gay despite sleeping with men her adult life. The doctor had likened it to needing glasses. “They said I needed glasses. I didn’t understand that. It didn’t make sense to me because I could see fine. And then I get the glasses and I put them on and I’m in the car on the way home and…suddenly I yell. Because the big green blobs I’ve been staring at my whole life weren’t big green blobs. They were leaves on trees. I could see the leaves. And I didn’t even know I was missing the leaves. I didn’t know leaves existed and then…leaves! You are glasses. I am so gay.”
The scene hadn’t sparked any ideas in Alex’s mind at the time that she could be gay. It had never dawned on her that she needed glasses until like Erica she had met a beautiful Latina woman. It had never been so easy with someone like how it was with Maggie. Even her relationship with Kara had taken years to reach the level of closeness and comfort they shared. Alex did throw a few bonus points in Kara’s direction. It probably would have been as easy with Kara if she met her today and not during her teenage years.
Alex carefully adjusted the slight curls she had put in her hair. Her normally straight and flat hair didn’t often work with her desire for waves and curls, but tonight it had. She looked amazing for their date.
“It’s not a date,” She reminded herself. That’s why she had only dressed up to a 7 instead of a 10. If it wasn’t a date, she didn’t want it to look like she had thought it was. But if it was a date, she didn’t want to look like she hadn’t thought it was.
“Dating’s so complicated,” She muttered to herself, slipping into a pair of dress boots. She ran her hands down the sides of her blouse, smoothing out the wrinkle free material. “Okay. Not a date. Focus.”
Alex lost her entire focus when her doorbell rang. She opened her door to find Maggie Sawyer smiling at her and all she could think was, “Please let this be a date.”