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Rev Those Engines

Summary:

Face down a villain of the week? Easy.

Arrest a perp that kidnapped your kid that morning? Do it at least twice a year.

Take down a rampaging robot? Booooring.

Teaching your teenager to drive? Oh...shit.

(Petey and Greg, married and much older now, face their worst nightmare. Teaching Li'l Petey/PJ to drive the cruiser.)

Notes:

There's no real reason why I do PJ instead of Li'l Petey except for typing reasons lol. Also I do think Petey would default to Junior for him. That's his baby! His literal clone!!!

There's also three other girls they had but they're busy off to the side doing shenanigans. Can't let them distract the driver, ya know.

Idk I thought it was fun lol

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Petey and Greg Knight have faced villains, evil mayors, aliens, and...eugh, Petey’s dad.

But none of that stood up to what they were facing today.

...teaching their teenager to drive.

Quite honestly, the only one who had any experience was Greg. Petey tried to figure it out when he was in high school, but being a ward of the state didn’t mean he was able to purchase a car...or get any experience...

He knows the basics, but like, he doesn’t have a license.

But by God, they’re going to get PJ a license!!

It’s just rather...nerve-wracking for the whole family.

Greg had driven the whole family to the high school parking lot, with 80-HD watching Grace, Hope and Patience so they didn’t get in the car and bother PJ in between Greg and Petey giving him instructions.

Getting in to Greg’s cruiser was, actually, fairly easy, although it ended with Greg in the back and Petey in the passenger seat. Greg had his TTS app at the ready while PJ sat in the driver’s seat, looking eager for a moment before he made a face, groping under the seat. “Dad, you are so short, oh my God.”

‘Beanpole’ came the robot voice as Petey let out a snort, shaking his head as PJ adjusted the seat.

“You’re just now realizing that?”

“You were both so tall when I was like, a kid! Sue me!”

‘Still a kid’ came Greg’s app, repeating it twice as Petey nodded in agreement. Finally, PJ had the seat how he wanted, reaching for the radio only for Greg to rap his knuckles against the window between the backseat and the front. ‘No touch!’

“Oop, you heard Dad, no touching the radio,” Petey snickered as PJ groaned.

“Ugh, but it’s stuck on Hope’s pop song station!”

‘No touch!’

“Fiiiine. Okay, now what?” PJ gripped the steering wheel excitedly, bending his elbows as if he were piloting 80-HD through the air. Petey reached over, pushing his elbow down as Greg typed quickly.

‘Turn on c-car, press brake down, shift to D for Drive.’

“Okay, turn on...yeah, that makes sense,” PJ muttered, switching the key forward. The car revved to life, but then started to make sputtering noises as he didn’t let go. Petey jumped, swatting at his arm.

“Junior, let go! You just do it fast, don’t keep doing it!”

“Oh, okay!”

He flicked it back, and Petey slapped his face as he heard typing.

‘You turned car off.’

“Aw man.”

Petey let out a slow breath as he heard PJ crank it again, grabbing the shifter. “Okay, you said D for Drive. Aaaand...” he shifted down, and Petey watched in almost horrible amusement as it went right to it, only for PJ to let off the brake and...do nothing.

He could SEE Greg’s slow blink in the mirror, and they patiently waited as PJ twisted the wheel back and forth, smiling brightly before looking at them both. “We’re not moving!”

“You gotta hit the pedal, kid.”

“Oh, I thought that was just for show, like at the store.”

“You mean that game that has the gum in the quarter slO-JUNIOR STOP-“ Petey shrieked as PJ pressed the pedal down sharply, and the cruiser lurched forward suddenly, picking up speed and bouncing over a parking spot curb. PJ wiggled around, slamming the brake apparently as the cruiser screeched to a stop, and Petey felt his own head hit the windshield, cursing as he heard Greg’s yelp as he flew around the backseat. “Don’t...just stomp on the gas, kid!”

“How else are we supposed to go??”

Petey felt the increasing desire to just give PJ a bus pass and call it good. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose as he heard the tapping of keys, Greg whining a bit as he rubbed his head.

‘Slow press, build up, like moving a lever.’

“Ooooh. That makes sense.”

Petey cracked open an eye as PJ pressed the gas slowly this time.

...they didn’t move.

He shut his eyes again. “...did you let go of the brake?”

“...hah! Oh, I didn’t. Oopsie.”

The cruiser lurched forward when he, apparently, took his foot off the brake, and they were in a purgatory of jerking forward and stopping, thumping against parking spots and running over the bright orange cones Greg had set up an hour ago.

They were on a direct course to a lightpost before Petey reached over and tugged the wheel to the right, narrowly avoiding it as PJ shuffled a bit, using both feet to hit the brake only seconds before disaster.

He sent Petey a sunny smile. “Thanks, Papa! Can I try doing donuts in the parking lot?”

“I’m getting out, Greg, get up here,” he said, quickly getting out as PJ whined about wanting him back in the cruiser. He opened the back door, and Greg fell out, a little dizzy for a moment before shaking his head wildly and standing up. He brushed the rocks from his pants, giving Petey a thumbs up, his other paw hitting a button on his TTS.

‘Will handle, no worry!’

“You have that as a preset? Never mind, just try to keep the public property damage to a minimum.” He got a raised eyebrow at that as Greg got in the front, and Petey snorted. “I’m old, I get to get tired of causing mayhem when I’ve got a lot of other stuff going on-80-HD TELL ME I AM NOT SEEING WHAT I’M SEEING!”

Greg sighed as he shook his head, PJ cheering on his siblings as Petey raced over, trying to stop Grace and Hope from skateboarding off the rooftop with 80-HD holding a mattress in the air to catch them.

...maybe he was safer in the cruiser.

Well, that’s what he thought until PJ suddenly said, “hey, what happens if we hit 100 mph? Think I can stop before hitting the science wing?”

Greg put on his seatbelt quickly, and mourned the fact they ever left home that morning.

Notes:

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