Chapter Text
She’s been alive for a very long time and even after centuries she still knows nothing.
Are gods born?
Are gods made?
Are they all destined to fall?
As she looks around this empty place of hers, she knows that whatever the answer is it won’t change anything.
— —
Mira has been running for a better part of her life. Most people would grow bitter and for a while she did. It was unfair for her family to live lavishly while she didn’t know when her next meal would be.
It didn’t take long for her to grow angry with the world.
Then Zoey came along.
All of a sudden, running didn’t feel like a sentence, it felt like freedom.
Mira hadn’t had any intentions of letting Zoey in. After all, every person that she had let in had hurt her beyond words. So, you can’t blame her for pushing her away.
But Zoey had never been one to give up.
She, who had been just as hurt by the world, still smiled at Mira as if it were the easiest thing. And when Zoey found out that Mira was running, she didn’t hesitate to follow.
Jumping from place to place without a care in the world, Mira slowly stopped trying to hide the feeling that grew in her chest. If anything, Mira had made room for it. Pushing aside all the bitterness in her heart and replacing it with something warm.
Tonight they’re on top of a building, in a town Mira didn’t bother to learn the name of. She watches as Zoey tells her story and she can’t help but smile.
Mira might not know where they will end up tomorrow, but so long as Zoey is by her side she’ll be okay.
— —
It’s weird having a home you can go back to but knowing that you never will.
Zoey knows that if she were to go back her mother would open the door for her. Even her father would receive her with open arms. But there is nothing in the world that you could pay her to go back.
Not when she found a real home by Mira’s side.
Mira, who frowns more often than not. Who is as blunt as they come and as hot headed like a bull. Mira, who looks at her as if she were the sun itself.
Zoey had a comfortable life. She had a roof over her head and she never went hungry. A lot of people would kill for that, and she was grateful for what she did have.
But the world was still a cruel place. She still hears their words ringing in her head. She still feels the stares. She lived in a world where the loud were punished. Where your joy is turned against you.
Why would she ever want to go back?
Why go back to the place that stole her smile?
As they lay on the roof of this building, as Mira runs her hand through Zoey’s hair, she doesn’t think she’s ever been this happy.
— —
Can you really be lonely if that’s what you’ve always been?
How do you know any better?
How do you know the difference between anything?
She skirts through the hallways and wonders.
And wonders.
Loneliness.
What an odd word.
Why does it feel so big?
— —
“This place feels oddly familiar.”
“You say that about everything.”
“Well, I mean it today.”
Zoey knows that Mira is trying to pay attention to her, but she sees her eyes keep lingering towards the alley way. She gets like this whenever they go somewhere late at night. Which has kept them safe more often than not but sometimes it isn’t necessary.
Especially when they’re in such a cool place.
She had found this town in an old map that she swiped from a man about two towns ago. Its name seemed to be a secret and no one seemed eager to share it with them. Not that it mattered to them, they never stayed long enough to care.
They had walked in with an air of indifference and excitement around them. Not that any of the people here cared about them. Most of them spared them a quick glance before they went on with their day.
It was completely by accident that they found this fountain. Unlike most towns or cities, it wasn’t in the middle of the place.
This was in the outskirts of the town, and it seemed well maintained. Even though it felt like no one had been here for a long time.
Zoey thinks it’s beautiful.
She walks towards the fountain and peers into it. She pouts when she realizes there aren’t any coins in there. There went the pocket change.
“I didn’t see anyone walk here. How are the lanterns on?”
Zoey puts her hands in the water and starts to play with it, “Just because you didn’t see anyone, doesn’t mean that no one did.”
She can feel Mira pacing behind her, but Zoey can’t take her eyes off the water. It always calmed her down. Whenever her parents would have one of their moments, she would run out the house and go to the lake. Try to remember the times where her family was still whole.
Sometimes she would stare at her reflection and hope that someone else would look back at her.
Now as she squats down and stares at her reflection like she did years ago, she can’t help but notice how different she is.
When was the last time she went to the lake before she ran?
When’s the last time she let the water surround her?
Maybe Mira wouldn’t mind if she jumped in, right?
“Zoey-”
She does end up in the water but not by her own will. One moment she’s starting to turn around and the next something is ramming into her. She goes face first into the water and it rushes into her mouth and nose.
Scrambling to get up she’s coughing up a storm trying to figure out what just happened. Before she can register what is going on she hears Mira yell.
Zoey practically throws herself out of the fountain following Mira’s voice. She’s not too far from her when she finally sees what is going on. There are three men cornering Mira and they seemed pissed. And from the way one of them is holding her face, Zoey knows why.
Men tend to think that they can’t take care of themselves and get mad when they almost meet their creator. Probably makes them feel worse when Mira and Zoey laugh at them like they were idiots.
Mira hadn’t yelled out for help; she had yelled out in amusement.
One of them tries to run at her but she only steps to the side and trips him. Before either of the other two men can react, Zoey comes up from behind them. She doesn’t hesitate to jump on one of their backs and wraps her arms around his neck.
She starts to squeeze and he immediately starts to panic. He tries to throw her off, but Zoey just presses down harder on his airways. The third doesn’t know who to help. The man getting his ass handed by Mira or the man that is rapidly starting to turn red.
They don’t give him a choice. Zoey pushes off the man and sends him tumbling into the third man. They fall to the ground, and the first man follows them not long after.
Zoey runs over to Mira’s side, dripping water everywhere and gives her a sheepish smile.
“Guess you were right.”
“You don’t say.”
Even though Mira is rolling her shoulders and is trying to act annoyed, Zoey sees right through. The relief in her eyes and the slight amusement running through her body.
Zoey opens her mouth to make a joke when something catches her attention. She tilts her head to the side and sees the way the water glimmers for a split second. It’s almost unnatural the color it takes, and it makes her breath hitch.
Before she can say anything there’s rustling behind her and when she turns around, she sees that the men have gotten up. Took them long enough.
Mira rolls her eyes and gets ready to send them running when she tenses up. It doesn’t take even a second for Zoey to figure out why. She can feel the trembling of the earth, and she hears screams fill the air.
“What-”
Zoey never gets to finish her sentence before hell fire is upon them.
— —
Where did they go?
They were just here.
Weren’t they?
She saw them, she knows she did.
— —
Her legs are screaming.
Her arms are burning.
Her entire body is begging her to stop.
But she can’t.
She can’t stop.
She won’t stop.
Mira pushes and pushes, ignoring her own failing bones. She won’t let something so insufficient like exhaustion stop her. Not when she has Zoey in her arms. Not when she can feel her bleeding out.
Mira doesn’t know how it happened. One moment they’re ready to beat those men bloody and the next the world imploded.
It was something that Mira had never faced. Years being on the road and never once had she felt fear like this.
Three men had multiplied to thirty. Fists had turned into knives. Men had turned into beasts.
It wasn’t the first time they have had to fight. Living on the streets meant having to know how to protect yourself. So, Mira could take anyone on, and chances are that she’s going to win.
But this had been different. It didn't feel normal, right. This had felt like the things that their old bedtime stories warned them about. The monsters that hid under in the dark.
Mira had grown up knowing the truth. There wasn’t anything under her bed or hiding in the shadows. The real monsters had been the hands that cradled her.
She thought she had left all of that behind. She had thought that she wouldn’t have to live in fear anymore. The universe had other plans.
Stumbling through the woods, Mira vaguely wonders if they’re still following them. Not that it matters, Zoey is her priority.
When Mira had seen her fall, she waited for her to get back up. Zoey has always been quick to bounce back. No matter what she got up.
But Zoey hadn’t.
She had laid on the ground, groaning but she didn’t move. Their attackers zoned in on her immediately and had surrounded her.
Mira’s heart had dropped.
Her blood had run cold and she didn't remember screaming.
She didn’t remember moving.
But she remembers the fear in their eyes. Mira had been able to pick up one of the pipes they dropped and struck. She hadn’t swung to incapacitate. She had swung to kill.
Don’t ask her how many she took down, she doesn’t know. When she had finally reached Zoey, panic seized her heart. There was a metal shard protruding from Zoey’s abdomen. Jagged in a way that Mira knew would only cause more damage if she took it out.
Her hands hovered over Zoey’s trembling body not sure what to do.
“Mira…” Zoey’s voice is ragged. Blood starts to drip down her chin.
The sight of it is enough to make Mira move. She tries to scoop Zoey up as gently as she can. The way she whimpers, Mira doubts she was successful.
There’s screaming around them and she spares a glance behind her. The men who had been trying so hard to rip them apart had turned their blades against themselves. She watches as they gut themselves as if they were pigs. She sees the way that beautiful fountain turns red. Hears how they all scream for someone, something that won’t listen.
There’s no time to question this or even fear it. Not when Zoey’s is trembling in her arms. Mira doesn’t care, all she does is run.
But it’s never that easy.
The moment she exits the courtyard the world goes silent and then it roars. She feels the ground shake beneath her feet. She hears the men turn their anger towards them. Their cruelty is trailing behind her, and she doesn’t know if she can outrun it.
As she runs, Mira hears people shut their doors, sees them turn their backs on them.
But the people that don't avert their eyes are the worst. Because Mira knows that if she were to beg for help, they would condemn them. They would simply throw them into the wolves. People don’t ever help them. Even as Death was at their heels; their doors would be locked.
So, Mira doesn’t have any other option but to run. Runs through this miserable town, trying to push her fear away. It’s no use. Not when Zoey is getting colder in her arms. Not when the screams behind her are slowly turning into roars.
Perhaps the unknown of the dark will push them away, is what Mira thinks as she crosses the border between the town and the woods. But the light of their torches taunts her.
Where had this anger come from?
What did they do to deserve this?
She loses track of time, not that she could even if she wanted it. Her mind is only able to hold scattered thoughts.
One step.
One more step.
Turn.
Watch out.
Don’t let them get close.
Don’t drop her.
Careful.
Save her.
She has to come to a stop when they start to shoot arrows. Mira doesn’t have a choice but to throw herself behind a tree and clutch Zoey against her.
Zoey has gotten quiet.
How long have they been running?
How much blood has she lost?
There’s a pause as they reload and Mira shoots out.
They shout out in a frenzy and their moves turn erratic. Mira doubts they’re happy to see her in one piece. Zoey grunts at the sudden movements and Mira swears to apologize for every second of pain she’s given her.
The men scream and shout and will they ever stop?
What could they possibly want?
A sudden burning pain shoots up her arm and she staggers.
Her shoulder collides into a tree and she nearly avoids collapsing.
Stopping means death and she refuses to give it that joy.
Instead, she screams and for a second the men falter. It’s guttural and filled with rage and she hopes that it haunts them in their dreams.
Mira pushes through, runs and runs. Ignoring the screams of her own body.
So focused on her mission that Mira doesn’t see the arrow that is cocked. The head of it is glimmering with something vile. It’s aimed straight to her heart.
In the depths of the woods, Death stands off to the side ready to reap two souls.
The arrow is shot and the world goes silent.
One.
Two.
Three.
The arrow never finds its target.
A border that has never been crossed is disturbed and the world trembles. Mira doesn’t notice any of this. She keeps going and she doesn't realize that the shouts are gone.
When she finally stops it’s not a willing choice. One moment she’s running for their lives and the next her feet stop. Almost as if someone flipped a switch. She can barely catch her breath, and her arms shake with exhaustion.
Why did she stop?
Why would she stop?
God damn it, Mira you had one job.
She looks around, mentally preparing to fight tooth and nail, only for her to come short.
There’s no one there.
Not a single soul.
All that meets her is the endless woods.
What?
She turns back around and there’s a temple.
It’s far older than any of the ones she’s ever seen, but it’s just as big. If not a bit bigger than the one she grew up in.
There’s vines growing on the sides of it and part of it seems to have cracked from age. Why is it here in the middle of nowhere? It doesn’t seem like anyone has been here in a long time.
A small wheeze makes her thoughts come to a stop.
She looks down and Zoey is so so pale. Her eyes are closed and her chest rattles with each breath she takes. All of this is so wrong. This isn’t Zoey. This isn’t the woman that is always so full of energy.
This isn’t the woman that Mira adores.
Who cares where the men have gone, or why they wanted to kill them so badly, Mira needs to save Zoey.
Part of her whispers of the things she will do to those men if she ever finds them.
With whatever strength she has left she crosses the distance and steps into the temple.
This is the time for everyone to know that Mira despises temples. She thinks that they were made by fools for fools. She remembers her parents dragging her to them and making her get on her knees. Praying to a thing that never listened. No matter how many times she pleaded for someone to save her, no one ever showed up.
She remembers asking why they had such a big temple when so many other people had small ones. Her parents always scoffed and told her those were for the non believers.
Why do they have temples if they don’t believe?
Mira asked that question one time and she remembers the look of disdain her father had given her.
If they truly believed they would’ve made something grand. Something that even the gods can’t ignore. Not whatever measly excuse of a shrine.
None of that ever made sense to Mira. If the gods truly cared about them, why would a temple matter? Shouldn’t they be happy with whatever their people can give. Why doesn’t it matter where their heart is? Shouldn’t that be enough?
But Mira learned from a young age that the gods are greedy.
That they don’t care if they starve or die.
That their pleas sound like mere inconveniences to them. All that they ever want is for someone to praise them, to give them more than they can afford to.
And maybe then they will listen to your pleas.
Even then it’s just life moving through its course.
Because Mira has learned that the gods aren’t real.
In her eyes they are nothing but a cruel joke that people cling on to.
False hope for something that never will be.
Looking for someone to blame or for someone to save them.
The gods are nothing to Mira.
She gently puts Zoey down on the floor and she can’t stop her hands from shaking. They hover over the piece of metal in Zoey. She needs to take it out. She needs to do something, but it’s going to hurt.
Mira knows that the moment she takes it out Zoey is going to bleed out and who knows what it might rip on its way out. But she can’t leave it there.
She needs to do something.
Leaning down she whispers, “I’m sorry,” as she wraps her hand around the shard.
Mira never gets to pull it out before a trembling hand stops her. Her eyes whip up and she finds that Zoey is looking at her gently. She can barely keep her eyes open and Mira feels how hard she is shaking.
“Don’t.”
She looks down at the shard, and her knuckles are white with how hard she is holding it.
“Zoey, we need to. I have to stitch you up.”
“I’m tired, Mira.”
Please.
“I’ll be quick.”
“I don’t know if I can stay awake.”
Please.
“You can. I know you can.”
“I’m tired.”
Please.
From the day Mira has met Zoey she has always been full of life. Always ready to go to the next place. Mira feels like she’s spent the entire time running after her. She’s ready to spend the rest of her life running for her.
But that feels like it’s slipping through her fingers.
She can’t lose this.
She can’t lose the only peace this world has offered her.
She can’t lose the only person that has ever loved her.
Please.
Mira had plans.
She had so many plans.
She’s never been one to focus on the future. For a long time, Mira didn’t know if she would make it to the next day. But with Zoey in her life, Mira wants to have everything.
She wants to give her everything in the world.
But how can she do that if she’s alone.
Please.
Mira doesn’t want to be alone.
Not again.
“Jagiya, please, just let me help you.” Mira doesn’t care if she wounds weak, or pathetic. She just needs to fix this.
And Zoey, sweet and lively Zoey, just smiles at her. Blood slowly dripping down her chin, skin unnaturally pale, eyes dim, but that light that Mira adores is still there. Zoey might not be big in height, but she’s always been bigger than life.
Now she seems so small, so fragile in a way that Mira hates.
“Could you let me rest my eyes? Just for a moment.”
“No, no, no. Let me fix this, please.”
Please.
Please.
Please.
Zoey’s hold on her hand is starting to slacken, and Mira can only grip her with her entire strength.
“Just hold on okay. You’re going to be okay.”
Zoey laughs ever so slightly and looks at Mira as if she were everything, “You always do take care of me.”
There’s no stopping the tears that flow down her face. Zoey reaches out with shaking hands and catches her tears with a small coo. It only makes Mira cry harder.
“Don’t cry, aein.”
Please.
“I’ll be right back.”
Zoey’s voice is getting weaker. She keeps blinking as if she were fighting sleep.
Her hand slowly starts to fall and when Mira catches it, Zoey can’t hold on to her anymore.
The only thing Mira can do is watch whatever lingering strength Zoey had left her vanish. The way her chest starts to rise slower. The way a sole tear runs her face.
“I love you.”
From the very first time Mira heard those words, she knew that she would never get tired of them. She knew that she would forever crave the way it made her heart soar.
But now as she hears these words all she wants to do is scream.
And she does.
She screams and she screams as Zoey makes no more noise. As her chest comes to a stop and her eyes freeze.
No.
No.
No.
She throws her head back and screams in despair. The world outside this temple cries alongside her. Mourns for someone they did not get to know.
Mira slams her fists into the marble floor over and over, yelling things that don’t make sense. Her eyes fly around the room looking for anything that could fix this. That could patch the agony in her chest.
That’s when she sees the statute. It’s falling apart and it’s missing its head, but you can make out the shape of a woman.
It’s not often that temples have statues. No one really knows what the gods look like, and no one wants to offend them. So, statues are rarely ever made.
But here is one falling apart but it’s here nevertheless.
And Mira who has never believed in these deities, who finds places like this despicable, who has hated all of this most of her life, throws pride to the side.
She crawls to the altar, vision swaying, leaving a piece of her heart with each inch she crosses. When she gets to the broken statue, she throws away every belief she ever held in her heart, and begs to something, anything.
“Please, please I can’t lose her.”
She remembers all the times she told Zoey to go away.
“I don’t want to be alone again.”
She remembers Zoey coming back every single time.
She puts her forehead against the cold floor, her knees ache, her body is seconds away from collapsing, yet Mira still begs.
“Save her.”
Take me instead.
The rational part of Mira knows that nothing will happen. That she will have to bury her lover in a foreign place. She will have to keep moving through this vile world on her own before it decides to take her too.
Because at the end of the day Mira always ends up alone.
Even then Mira still begs.
She begs until her throat is raw.
— —
The thing is that she isn’t wrong.
The gods are greedy creatures. Only ever really worried about themselves. Flaunting around their power and never doing anything worthwhile with them.
But as the world hears a lover’s cry, it can’t help but grieve with her.
It can’t help but want to help her.
But mortals are a fickle thing and the gods are not kind.
They would only hurt them more.
But maybe it doesn’t need to worry.
Because a figure appears from behind the statue and takes the lover in. She’s watched since the moment they crossed her border. All she’s done is watch them.
She hasn’t seen mortals in a long time. She can’t remember if she ever did.
She doesn’t know who they are or where they came from.
Good or bad.
All she does know is that they love each other.
She doesn’t understand a lot of things, but you would have to be a fool to not feel the love that flows between these two.
She looks down to the figure in front of her and tilts her head. Her heart aches with each plea she makes. Her body shakes with the sheer desperation in this woman’s voice.
Lifting her head, she sees the body that isn’t too far from the woman. There’s no life in it. She can feel its soul drifting through air, waiting for its judgement.
For a moment, she hears someone’s laughter in her ear. Someone from long ago.
This can’t be the end of their story.
She might not know a lot, but she knows that she can help.
Help.
What a strange thing.
She walks over not making a single sound and kneels beside the pleading woman. She takes her hand into hers and ignores the way she violently flinches. There isn’t time for that.
The woman has seen better days. Her pink hair is a mess, her face is stained with tears and blooming bruises. There’s blood running down her arm and it seems like she can barely breathe.
She’s beautiful.
She rubs the woman’s bleeding knuckles and whispers, “Do you love her?”
The woman keeps blinking as if she can’t really see her and she knows that it’s taking everything for her to not pull away. She opens her mouth but no sound comes out. The longer she stares at her the more it seems like she’s at the verge of collapsing.
They really don’t have time for that.
She pushes forward.
“Do you love her?”
It’s a dumb question to ask. As if the very ants couldn’t see the love overflowing from this woman. As if her grief didn’t make the world itself shake to its core.
But power is a strange thing.
There are rules that must be followed.
So every fiber of the world has to hear these words.
She asks again, “Do you love her?”
The woman slowly turns to look at her lover, and it breaks her heart the way her face crumbles.
Did anyone ever love her this much?
“I will never be able to describe how much I love her.”
Her words are quiet, soft, placed like a balm over her soul.
There’s no hiding message in them, just the simple truth.
That’s all she needs.
She nods and slowly gets up. The woman looks at her weary until she realizes that she’s making her way towards her lover. She scrambles up and it’s hard not to miss the way her legs almost give out.
How long have they been running?
She glides across the floor with a grace long forgotten. She hears the woman behind her trying to keep up, her every movement echoes through this empty place, but she’s not worried about her.
Her entire attention is focused on the corpse in front of her.
She’s young.
Far too young.
She looks up and the pink haired woman is kneeling by her lover.
She’s young too.
They’re both so young.
Young and given such a cruel fate.
Who decides their fates?
Who has the right to do that?
She kneels down and takes the corpse’s hand into hers.
There are words she can say. Words that would make this grand and lavish. Make it seem like she was doing them a favor.
She won’t say them.
It doesn’t feel right.
Instead she bows her head and whispers, “I’m sorry.”
It is not fair for them to go through this. It is not fair for them to be alone here and suffer. It’s not far that she has to be the one to help them. That it has reached this level of despair.
Gently, she wraps her hand around the metal shard in her stomach and yanks it out. She ignores the woman’s distressed sounds, and throws the piece of metal to the side.
It’s an ugly wound.
Whoever committed the crime knew exactly what would happen. She just needs to look at it to know that it impaled her intestines and ripped them to shreds. She knows that there was no way of surviving this.
She places her hand on the wound, and she feels how cold the skin is.
Something about it makes her chest stir.
“I’m sorry,” she says once again and she feels the threads come to her. She feels the soul that was waiting for its fate float towards. She sees the way it lingers in front for a second and she wonders what it’s thinking.
“Do you want to go?”
It’s only fair for her to ask even if she already knows the answer.
It pulses for a second and she nods.
She lifts her other hand and feels as it settles in her palm.
Has she ever done this before?
She brings it down and softly pushes into the corpse's body. It takes a second but not too long after that the body violently jerks and her chest starts to rise again.
That’s all it takes for her lover to burst into new tears. Her relief is palpable and for a second it feels like she did something right. She watches as two souls embrace once again. Two souls that shouldn’t have been separated in the first place.
Her skin starts to tingle.
She doesn’t know how long she spends watching them until the woman lifts her head up.
The gratefulness in her eyes makes her burn.
She doesn’t deserve it.
“Thank you,” she whispers and what more can she do but shake her head?
She kneels there as the woman cries over her lover’s body. Whispering words full of love that she swears make the world shake with glee.
She watches as the exhaustion washes over her and how she slowly starts to fade.
It doesn’t take long for her to pass out.
It’s not until her breathing evens out that the severity of all of this hits her.
She just did something she herself doesn’t understand.
What did she do?