Chapter Text
Earlier that day…
The elevator was cold and grey, but that was nothing new. Shelly could only hope that this run wouldn’t last too much longer. She didn’t have to go on them too often (as the toons’ schedules were rotated quite frequently to give them adequate rest), but it was always an annoying process when she did.
Regardless, Shelly figured that she could at least make the most of the time that she was here and catch up with a friend. She… didn’t have a lot of those, but that was okay! As for who was here, Shelly wasn’t too familiar with most of the others on this particular run, but Vee was there, and they were friends, right?
“Hello, Vee!” Shelly walked up to Vee, smiling brightly as usual.
“Hi, Shelly,” Vee responded dryly. Shelly was slightly off put by the apparent disinterest, but Vee was like this all of the time! She meant nothing personal.
Right?
“Um… want to hear some dinosaur facts?” Shelly asked, as it was the only conversation starter that she could think of off of the top of her head.
“I know them all, Shelly.”
“…w-what?” That was not according to plan.
“They’re programmed in. I already know them all.”
Shelly was surprised at how blunt Vee was. She responded with, “Ah, right… silly me,” quietly before walking away, but she was upset more than she would admit.
What had happened? Vee normally didn’t mind talking to her. Right? “What did I do wrong?” was the only thought in her mind.
She didn’t try talking to anybody else the rest of the day.
-~-~-
It was nighttime by now. It was impossible to know exactly when, as the toons didn’t have any clocks in their rooms, but it must have been past midnight. Most of the toons were normally asleep at this time, but Shelly was still awake, lying restlessly in her bed. She couldn’t stop thinking about the interaction she’d had earlier that day. Normally, she and Vee were on good terms. Vee wouldn’t shut her down for no reason, right?
“Am I annoying her?”
That’s the question that Shelly was asking herself right now, because it was the only thing that made sense. That she annoyed people and made them hate her, and that’s why she was alone. Somehow the dark of her room heightened her isolation.
Shelly hated herself for it. “How could I mess this up so badly?” she asked herself, “How does Vee do this so easily?” She tried her best to avoid thinking about it by spending her time giving words of encouragement to the people around her. Everyone else being happy would distract her from her own self-loathing.
It worked most of the time, anyway.
But some nights, after a particularly bad day, with just her and her thoughts in the room, Shelly found it hard to forget just how much she made everyone else hate her.
“How do I manage to constantly mess this up? God, Shelly, you’re so stupid…”
Shelly didn’t understand what she’d done wrong in order for the rest of the toons to avoid her so much. She tried so hard for them, but it never seemed to be enough. She spent all of her time being kind to other people, or helping with machines while on runs, or trying to talk to toons, but they always seemed to turn her down.
It would pay off eventually, though. It had to.
Right?
Sometimes it seemed like the answer was ‘no’.
“I’m never enough for them,” Shelly told herself, now pacing back and forth, “How am I never enough for them?” For once, Shelly appeared more angry than sad. “I don’t deserve this. They don’t-“
Shelly cut herself off, somehow frightened by the possibility of her badmouthing other people.
“No, Shelly. You’re going to take accountability,” she thought, sitting back down on her bed, “You’re not going to blame other people for your mess.”
Shelly laid down on her bed, tears still running down her face. She was upset. She hated herself. She hated them. But most of all, she was just.
So.
Tired.
She just needed to go to bed. Tomorrow she could go back out there and finally fix herself. Tomorrow, she could finally be normal.
…
Actually, maybe she could afford to stay in her room more often. Then, maybe she wouldn’t be such a bother. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to hurt her.
Right?