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It was supposed to be just another training exercise.
Devon had been with Maul for a few years now. Already, their time together was showing results. Her saber skills, which had been quite good to begin with, had improved even further. The few syndicate members that lived to see it had described it like a deadly dance floating through the air, even if Maul's mastery of various forms still evaded her. Furthermore, in the time spent with her new Master, her ability to engage in stealth and subtlety had evolved beautifully. Whether it was blending into shadows, overhearing what she was not supposed to hear, or securing well kept secrets, she'd learned much from the fittingly named Shadow Lord.
However, if there was one ability she took pride in, it had to be her renewed connection to the Force. For longer than she'd liked, she had struggled to connect with it. Initially, it seemed impossible ("Because you have deemed it so" his voice had corrected her). Where once she had approached it with calm and tranquility, Maul had told her instead to search her feelings. To awaken emotions long buried and forge a new connection from them. She'd failed. Again and again, her attempts had been mediocre at best, and there was a time she'd thought Maul would cast her aside for her continuous uselessness. That had not happened. For all his faults, his trust in her never seemed to falter. Instead, Maul had taken her to a planet far away from their usual training grounds for a special excursion.
Devon had thought it a common imperial outpost when they'd landed. They'd been to a few, cutting down Stormtroopers like wheat during harvest. But when they'd closed in on the outpost, she recognized the voices. She'd heard them thousand of times. The same voice yet different people. She remembered. Of course she did.
No Jedi would ever forget the voice of the clones.
Maul had looked at her then, with a look she understood deep in her bones, and nodded. She didn't need to hear his words, the implication of "I'm with you" was already familiar to her. Devon could feel the Force, almost as if it was objecting to her desire for revenge. But she would not be denied. Something inside her gave, as the crimson of her saber illuminated her face, and she entered the barracks determined.
When she emerged from the structure, covered in blood and burns, she did not feel clean. She did not feel good. Not even just. But above the feelings of guilt behind her lay another.
She felt free.
She'd looked at Maul that day, and for a moment, she'd seen something on his face she'd imagined to be pride. In the next moment it was gone, as if it was never there, and he spoke.
"Feel this moment, Devon. Feel the heat of battle washing over you. Feel the glory of victory and the calm of your enemy's end. We embrace the spectrum of emotion, we do not shy away from it. We are alive and it fuels us. We do not wait for the Force, it follows us. Do you understand, my Apprentice?"
Her eyes met his and he felt her response before he heard it.
"Yes, my Master."
That was in the past. Her connection to the Force had been shattered, only to be reforged into something stronger. Both her Master and herself felt it. No longer did smaller weights exhaust her. Tossing men and material alike became her second nature. Her ability to manipulate minds had expanded in the same way. She knew even Maul had been satisfied with her progress.
And yet…
She craved more…
And so they found each other once again in one of the many Crimson Dawn hideouts. No two training sessions concerning the Force were the same. Sometimes Maul would tell her lessons or stories from ages past. Other times, he would seek to stoke her anger, reminding her of their shared suffering. And other times, they would soak in silence for a period of time she could not recall, the closest thing to meditating in their practice.
Tonight was different. Seldom had Maul involved their lightsabers in these sessions, but for this occasion, minds and blades alike were crashing into each other. He questioned her constantly, to an annoying degree. From demands about the state of this encampment ("How many turrets protect this station?) to philosophical matters ("Why does the Force permit suffering?") to her personal affairs ("How many wounds did you take in the last battle?) her mind was hard at work as her body held him off as if by instinct. Her responses were not spoken, but shared through the bond between Master and Apprentice, another layer to this workout. 'Six to the north and seven to the south.' 'Because the Force is a tool to be used' and 'only two, a burn in the shoulder and a bruise above the knee.'
Devon grew frustrated the longer this went on. She did not see the point of exhausting all her senses. Of course, Maul sensed her shift in emotion through their bond, and redirected it.
"You are weak."
That surprised her. He had not insulted her so rudely in a long time. His trust in her seemed close to absolute. Before her thoughts could form an indignant response, he continued.
"You lack focus."
Now he was getting on her nerves. Had he not seen her progress under his tutelage? Had he forgotten how far she'd come from the foolish Padawan she once was? She knew he was trying to goat her, and it was working…
"You are no closer to your revenge than the day you joined me."
That stung. Any reasonable response vanished from her mind. His words spoke to doubts deep in her core, and she lashed out. Her lightsaber striking his in a flurry of blades. To no avail, he matched her every blow while wreaking havoc on her conscious.
"Perhaps you will never be capable of exacting it."
Devon's emotions erupted. She screamed as she threw her saber upon his with renewed vigor. Did he truly believe what he said? If not, his voice did not give it away, and their bond felt muddled. In her despair, she messed up one strike, then another, until he disarmed her like an afterthought, her saber falling to the floor as Maul threw her to the ground like... like garbage.
Were those tears running down her face?
"Are you a failure?"
Deep inside Devon, something broke at those words. In the heat of the moment she could not detect if he meant those words. She was blinded by her own emotions. The voice that replied barely sounded like her.
"No."
Devon rose from the ground, but she did not reach for her lightsaber.
"No!"
She could feel her power surging, fueled by the maelstrom of emotions in her heart. Her face turned toward Maul, and her fiery yellow eyes caught his gaze long enough for him to miss the crackling in the palm of her hands.
"NO!"
Sickly blue lightning emerged from Devon's fingertips and reached Maul in an instant. The abundance of pain caused him to let go of his lightsaber, and he collapsed to the floor screaming. The pain traveled through his entire body with no end in sight, and he could barely think, yet alone speak.
The cry of her victim felt reinvigorating for the Twi'lek apprentice. The power of the Dark side felt exhilarating, as if every ounce of pain he suffered was transformed into her pleasure. She basked in it, the sound of electricity distorting her perception. Only moments later did she hear a sound to break her out of her revelry. Through the fog, Maul's screams reached her. At the disturbing realization, she held her breath. A dark part of her desired to continue, but the moment she registered his actual pain through their bond, her concentration broke, and the lightning ceased.
Looking down at her hands in horror, Devon's thoughts were scrambled. She could not make sense of them until she heard someone groaning.
Maul.
The Zabrak lay on the ground, still twisting and turning from the aftereffect of this unexpected shock. Smoke was rising from him, she could make out new tears in his clothes, overall he resembled a wounded animal more than a wounded warrior and for the first time in the years since she had known him, she felt like he needed help.
So she suppressed her doubts and worries to rush to his side. She closed the distance between them in seconds, and reached out for the shoulder closest to her.
The moment her smaller hand touched him, Maul instinctively sprang awake. One arm of his reached for the arm she'd extended to him, the other for the one she hadn't. With surprising speed, he slammed her arms together, his larger hand easily restraining both of hers, and with whatever strength was in his body, he turned her around till their positions were reversed, with him atop of her. His now freed hand fell upon her throat and began to choke.
Devon's emotions transformed into fear, as much as she'd grown, her body was no match for his. Her hands would not budge, and without access to air, no words came from her.
She looked upon Maul's visage and saw only hatred. He did not speak, but growled like a savage animal as he overpowered her, his eyes narrowed and yet not really looking at her.
Running out of options and air, Devon desperately reached out through their bond. It was a garbled mess she could hardly decipher. Even a single word cost her more energy than she possessed, but she powered through.
"Master?"
If he heard her, he showed no signs, neither ceasing his hold nor the choke. Struggling, she accessed their bond once more.
"M-mercy…"
At that, Maul seemed surprised, to say the least. His face softened and his hand at her neck let go, and soon after, so did the one holding her arms. Freed from his grasp, Devon turned to her side and inhaled, desperate for air.
She did not know how long it took for her to refill her lungs from death's door. Even when she eventually did, she could not calm down. This newfound power had torn down every wall she'd kept to protect herself. Drowning in her new emotions, she began to downright sob. The pain she'd caused and the pain he'd inflicted upon her in turn pierced her to her core. She wept and coughed and cursed herself. She went on like that for a while, until an insistent voice reached out.
"Devon. Devon. Devon."
She could not tell if her Master had spoken or sent the words through the Force, but the result was the same. She turned to face him. On his knees to face her at eye level, Maul was next to her. He looked unsure, still recovering from the shock behind their situation, and hesitantly reached out for her shoulder. The gesture was clumsy, as if he did not know how else to comfort her.
At the mere offer of it, Devon could not hold back her need for more. Once more she closed what little distance was between them, her arms seeking solace behind his back, her head laying on his shoulder, her body leaning into his warmth. Her crying did not cease, and for a long time, Maul did not return the gesture, remaining rather stiff, uncertain what kind of technique this was. Eventually, when he was sure she aimed for no further harm, he tested out the motion, putting one arm on her back, and then supporting her head with the other. The emotion it awakened in him was unfamiliar, but not unpleasant.
The two of them remained like that for a good long while, even after Devon's crying came to an end. They simply rested in the quiet of each others presence, their rattled bond humming through the Force.
"You are no failure, Devon."
She'd almost forgotten why they were like this when Maul broke the silence with his deep, gravelly voice.
"You have power, and passion, but your doubts blind you from your own potential."
She'd regained enough strength to look him into his red-rimmed eyes when he spoke. He almost sounded proud, if you could believe that.
"I will stop at nothing to unlock that potential. To do otherwise would make me a failure of a Master."
He did not apologize. Such was not his way.
"Now come, Apprentice. We should seek out the medical bay to repair the... damage we've sustained."
While talking, he'd stood up and she'd done the same. Then he reached out for both sabers, catching them with the Force. He clipped one to his belt and handed the other to her. She took it without hesitation, and looked upon his tense face once more. The Force Bond between them had been shaken, but survived. It remained tense, nevertheless Devon took some solace in it, and perhaps Maul did too. What she said next, she said in earnest.
"Thank you, Master."
He acknowledged her with a nod and turned to leave, Devon quickly following in his shadow.