Stiles: …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
Derek: Yes. It’s very exciting. Please get off my spleen?
Stiles: But…PROP 8!
Derek: But my spleen….
Scott: And DOMA!
Stiles: YES! AND DOMA!
Derek: All of which is super exciting. I would just appreciate if you moved your gesticulating to someone else’s lap. How about Boyd’s?
Boyd: No.
Stiles: Boyd says no.
Derek: I SAY NO!
Stiles: Yeah. But you aren’t as scary.
Derek: Damn it. I’m the Alpha?
Stiles: We know. It’s very intimidating, we promise.
Derek: Why do I hang around with you guys again? I could be off with grown ups. Doing grown-up things.
Scott: Like what? Bashing your abs against a cubicle?
Stiles: I’m not sure adding a cubicle makes that a grown-up game.
Scott: Oh. Whatever. Boyd, wanna go bash our abs against a tree until…
Boyd: Yeah, sure. The crowd is getting a little claustrophobic.
Scott: Cool. And then I gotta go find Isaac and Allison, so we can get gay werewolf married!
Allison: Honey, threesome-marriages are still not legal…
Isaac: Damn it!
Allison: Also, I don’t think ‘werewolf marriage’ is a thing.
Scott: Werewolves can’t get married?!? This is OUTRAGEOUS! I’M GOING TO…
Allison: That’s not what I…
Stiles: Isaac…
Isaac: Yeah, I’ll deal with it. *as he leads Scott away* Honey, we’re still in high school. We don’t need to get married right now. Plus, I’m pretty sure Chris is still super not okay with Allison dating the two of us…
Derek: I do grown-up things. Last week I talked to a girl. I think she liked me.
Stiles: That’s adorable. Wanna get gay werewolf married?
Derek: Um. Did you miss the part where I talked? To a girl? I like girls?
Stiles: So do I. Bisexuality. It’s a thing. We can still get gay werewolf married.
Derek: Stop calling it that. I beg of you.
Stiles: Only if you agree to get—
Derek: You are in high school. We can’t even get together in a non-creepy way for another two or three seasons. And I like girls.
Stiles: Sure you do. This season.
Derek: And probably next season. Let’s face it, that’s gonna have to be a slow transition. I mean, I’m super repressed.
Stiles: Fine. So, in four seasons, will you get gay werewolf married to me?
Derek: Fine. As long as you stop calling it…
Scott: …AND WHAT KIND OF SOCIETY DO WE LIVE IN WHERE…
Derek: Damn it. Who gave him a megaphone?
Scott: …EQUALITY FOR WEREWOLVES WHO JUST WANT…
Stiles: So, exactly how important was it to you that werewolves remain a secret?
Derek: Eh. We’ll deal with that tomorrow. Today DOMA was ruled unconstitutional!
Scott: …IT’S NOT LIKE I’M A TURTLE…
Stiles: Yeah. Let’s be happy we can get gay married, and worry about werewolf marriage if people start actually taking Scott seriously.
Scott: …AND DO YOU KNOW HOW HOT WEREWOLF THREESOMES ARE?…
Derek: I’m not super worried.