Work Text:
Snow soaked through the bottoms of David's pants, the icy cold water causing ache to his ankles. Though his mind was far to busy on other things. Head swarming with his failure. His failure to be the star people expected him to be. His failure to reach the expectations and life set for him.
He currently sat on the porch of one of his classmates from college.
"You look like a mess..." She had said, looking down at him as he laid his head on the table in front of him. Of course he did, being completely high off pills would do that. He remembered looking up at her; she had blonde hair and dark eyes. She looked a bit young to be attending college with him.
"Sorry..." He sat up a bit and looked at her with half-lidded eyes. "Who are you?"
"Natalie Goodman, I've sat in front of you in this class all year." She stated. David nodded "Well, I don't think my state is your concern." She went to respond, probably the same as everyone else. Pity and fake worry. Pretending to care for a stranger to feel like a better human. It was always pathetic. Her bound to be pitiful sentence was cut off by a guy in the doorway.
"Natalie!" He called: "Come on, your dad wants us to join them for dinner." She glanced at him, "One minute, Henry!" She turned back to him: "Come to my house; we'll feed you."
David scoffed, "Why would I do that?" Henry now stood next to Natalie, giving that same look of pity. This had to be peer pressure; hadn't they always said in primary school not to listen to peer pressure? well they also said don't do drugs, so David was a bit late on following that advice. He got out of his seat, stumbling and taking a minute to balance. He was about to tell them off again and walk away, but he didn't
He couldn't remember why he followed them. Maybe it was the lack of judgment when he stumbled. Maybe it was the way Natalie looked at him with understanding instead of pity. But he followed.
They stopped by a gas station, grabbing David a water bottle. The walk to their house wasn't horribly long, but David was certainly starting to sober.
The dinner was...nice.
Natalie had pulled her mom and dad aside, whispering something that made them nod. They didn't talk to him, and David was strangely grateful. The most he interacted with them was a polite hi when Natalie introduced them to him. The food was good. However, David noticed a boy around his age. Messy brown hair and pretty blue eyes. He wore a green crocheted sweater, his features soft and slightly feminine. Though, there was this eery, almost sinister feeling. His seat was next to Natalie's mom. He didn't touch his food. Though he had a blue lollipop in his mouth.
David had the pleasure (?) of sitting next to him, Natalie sat him here so he didn't have anyone directly next to him, so he was confused but didn't speak up.
The boy, eventually looking away from his full plate, stared at David. David couldn't tell how he felt. On one hand, there was no light behind his eyes. On the other hand, since David realized he was gay, he's never seen such a pretty boy before.
David stared back. "Can I help you?" He asked, under his breath, not to draw the attention of the other's at the table. The boy's eyes widened
"Um...no," He said softly. God his voice was pretty too. David glared a little and went back to eating. The boy turned back too. David felt the phone in his back pocket buzz.
It was his dad.
He was asking why his location said he wasn't at his Apartment. They must have never got a notification and got worried. Worried something happened and he wouldn't be able to be a star for them.
David gulped and typed back, 'I'm at a friend's house.'
'when you could be studying? David, you have a whole life ahead of you.'
'yeah? where is it then?'
read
David stood up "Um, excuse me, I'm going to get some fresh air..." He quickly went outside before he got a response. He sat on there porch and sighed. His mind was loud again. He needed it to be quiet. He took some pills from a bag in his pocket and swallowed them. His took enough to silence the noise but not enough to die. He didn't want to die...right?
He drew his knees to his chest and stared down at the snowy ground. The door opened and shut behind him.
"You ok?" The boy from before said softly yet again. David turned to face him "Yeah." He answered, now the silence was too loud. All he could think was how pretty the boy was.
"So, are you Natalie's brother, or something?" He said as he watched the boy sit next to him. He nodded. Then he was looking at him with those pretty blue eyes again. They had light this time. He had the kind of eyes that would make you do anything just not to see them cry. The kind that would make you melt if he looked at you a certain way.
He reminded David of a lost puppy. "So, what's on your mind?" The boy leaned close to David. you "Just family stuff." The boy nodded once again, looking at the pills David forgot to put away.
"Did you take those?"
"Yes. what's it to you?" David's gaze became slightly harsh but it was hard being look at at with those eyes.
"Just...did you want to?" He asked, getting slightly closer, his moves almost not human. His face is close to David's. "Like are they prescription or choice?"
"Um, they're choice." David responded. The boy backed up and nodded at the snow.
"Natalie brought you here because she's been where you are. An addict,"
"That's a rude assumption for someone you just met."
He didn't talk for a bit. "Hello-"
"Do you like the snow?" He asked, his eyes examining the ground. David scoffed at the change of topic but answered anyway. "No."
The boy got up and sat on his knees in the snow, "what a shame, the snow is nice." He leaned forward and laid face down in the snow. David stared at him; maybe he was too faded and imagined all of this. "What's your name?"
The boy turned over "Gabriel, but everyone calls me Gabe" He smiled. It was a sweet smile. One made of pure sugar. The way his eyes squinted, making David's voice catch in his throat a bit. "Nice to meet you, Gabe."
"Nice to meet you too, David."
~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're so handsome." Conner, a boy in his math class, said, smiling at him. "Thanks." David replied dryly. He was too sober for this right now. Conner always tried to get with him, take him out on dates, or spend time with him. No matter how much he rejected Conner, he never gave up.
David thought that one day, if he was desperate enough, he would finally except. However, now it had been a week since he looked into Gabe's eyes. Now, he knew he could never feel something for someone else. He now knew what love at first sight was.
"Come on, David. Just one date!" Conner pleaded, "I know a place you would love."
"I didn't get into Cambridge to date people Conner."
"Please!" Conner was on his knees begging, and letting his eyes drift down to David's pants. "Don't you want me? want something to take away the pain that wasn't pills?~"
"I think he told you no already, Conner." He heard Henry say behind him. Conner stood up. "I-"
Henry glared at him a bit. Though he was young, he was bigger than Conner. Conner was a skinny boy, and Henry could easily put him to an early grave. Conner backed up and left. "Thanks..." David said as he turned to face him. Henry nodded in a silent 'your welcome'. "Does he bother you like that often?" Natalie said, holding Henry's hand. "Yeah-" His breath caught in his throat when he saw him.
Gabriel.
"Well if it happens again, you should tell the dean." Henry said. David nodded "Will do." He didn't look at him though. He stared right past Natalie at those lost puppy blue eyes.
Natalie and Henry shared a confused look, but moved on to their classes. Gabe and David stared at each other while the hallway emptied, till it was just them two. "Hey," Gabe smiled at him. David felt his heart skip a beat. He told himself it was any left over drugs in his system.
"oh, hey... what are you doing here?"
"Was bored. Wanna go for a walk if you don't have a class right now?"
The walk was nice. They walked side by side, just talking about nothing really. A walk much worth skipping his class, but Gabe didn't need to know that. The weather, classes, interests. For once, David felt relief. Gabe held no expectation for him. No need for him to be great or some star. Gabe just saw him as a struggling boy, and to David, it felt nice. Being looked at like someone truly cared. Pure worry and care rather than pity. David never wanted Gabe to leave.
After that, they hung out more. Always at David's apartment. Gabe said he rather hang out there, away from his family. David understood. Gabe always kept distance, never wanting to be touched. Which David didn't mind; he wasn't a touchy person either.
However, the longer they were around one another, the harder David fell.
how unfortunate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today, Gabe sat on David's floor, reading through one of his textbooks. He took the grape lollipop out of his mouth. "How the fuck do you read this?" Gabe asked, completely bewildered. David laughed; he liked hearing Gabe cuss. "Because, my sweet Gabriel, I'm gifted!"
"Yeah gifted in being an asshole," Gabe shot back, sitting up now. "An asshole? Really?"
"Yep-"
There was a knock.
David opened it and immediately stilled when he saw Conner. "Hey babe!" He greeted.
"You're not my boyfriend, don't call me that. What do you want?"
"You, on a date, with me." Conner smiled and handed over a rose. David didn't like roses. "No, Conner. I don't want to."
"come on-" The door was slammed in his face. Gabe looked at David with confusion: "You alright?" David nodded "He makes me uncomfortable." Gabe stared blankly at him.
"Do you enjoy living?"
It was asked so casually, as if he was discussing the weather. "What-"
"You heard me. Now answer the question, pretty boy, Because right now it seems like a no" David tried to not think about being called a pretty boy and what exactly those words did to his head.
"...I'm not sure."
~~~~~~~~
They went back to normal after that. Till it was December.
"My mom wants you to come over tonight." Gabe said. "Why?"
"It's my birthday today." Gabe said as he led the way to his house. "Why didn't you say anything before? Happy birthday!" Gabe stopped walking and gave him a pretty smile, like he was trying to kill David. "My mom likes the day more than I do." His smile dropped "But can you promise me something?"
"Whats up?"
"Don't talk to me at all tonight. Don't sing. Don't even look at me, ok?" Gabe asked, "After everyone goes to do their own things, I'll sneak you into my room and we'll hang out. do I make myself clear, David?" David had so many questions, but the way Gabe stared him down told him not to ask. "...ok"
"Do you promise?"
"Yes, I promise."
The dinner was silent. Gabe didn't eat, per normal. He sucked on a hard caramel candy. David kept to his promise, though it felt weird watching Diana talk to Gabe, and everyone just looked down slightly sad. Natalie leaned over and whispered "I'm sorry she invited you..." David was confused.
"Happy 19th birthday to my baby boy!!!" Diana said, lighting the candles on the cake and blowing them out herself before putting it in front of him. "He doesn't like fire!" She explained. She sang him happy birthday and no one sang along. David was beyond confused now, but he made a promise. Gabe gave his mom a smile with his lips pressed together; she smiled brightly and kissed his forehead.
"Diana...lets go upstairs..." Dan said, grabbing his wife's hand. "Why?"
"Just come on."
They went up the stairs, and Natalie grabbed Henry's hand to follow, shooting David another apologetic look. He just stood their with Gabe in the dining room.
"Are you going to tell me whats going on?" David asked, he was tired of all this. He had too much in his brain as is, and if he's being honest, he definitely had a few drinks before seeing Gabe earlier. "Shush. I changed my mind. Let's go to your apartment."
"Why?"
"Because I didn't realize they would all go up there."
"Why are you avoiding them?"
"I'm not I-"
"Gabriel! Fucking tell me!"
Gabriel went quiet. He looked at the stairs to make sure no one was coming down and grabbed David's wrist. This was the first time they had ever touched in all their time hanging out. Gabe's touch was cold...Ice cold. Yes it was December but it was warm inside the house.
Gabe pulled him outside. To the even snowier ground, it brought him back to when he met Gabe just a month ago.
"Gabe. Its snowing hard, and my apartment is a 20 minute walk!"
"Then we'll take a taxi."
"Gabriel-"
"Shut up till we get there; you made a promise, remember?" Gabe glared.
David went silent. He flagged down a taxi like intructed.
Once they reached David's apartment, though, it was a different story.
He pushed Gabe to the wall and pinned him there. "Tell me."
"This is a bit kinky, no?"
"Gabriel, I swear to god-"
"Ok!" Gabe finally agreed: "I'll tell you. I'm not alive. I haven't been in years." David almost laughed because of how dumb Gabe thought he was. "I'm not an idiot."
"Then ask Natalie, ask my dad, ask Henry. They'll all agree. My mom sees me because to her I'm a hallucination. I don't know why you see me, but it's frankly concerning." David went quiet. His hand sliding to Gabe's arm to feel the icy touch again, then up to lay against Gabe's chest where he felt no sigh of breathing, and lastly to Gabes pulse which was silent. Gabe put his hand over David's. "I'm sorry," He said softly.
"Why... didn't you say something?" David asked, now understanding all the confused looks from Natalie, the lack of light in his eyes sometimes, why he didn't eat. He wasn't even sure he believed him but it seemed to all make sense.
"I...don't know."
"...Ok...Please leave. I shouldn't be in love with a dead boy." It basically slipped out, not only confessing to Gabe but confessing to himself feelings he refused to address. Gabe's eyes widened: "You love me?"
"That's beside the point. Leave." David turned away from him, knowing he couldn't resist those eyes. "...David-"
"Go!"
Silence fell. David heard the small sound of a door opening. He sat on his bed, putting his head in his hands. He heard the door close, and he lost all control. He quickly got up, not sparing a glance at the room. He went to his drawer, taking out his pills. He took enough to be almost completely gone. Maybe he should overdose. The only person he found comfort in, the only person who saw him as something different than a gifted kid, the one person he fell for in his whole life, was dead. He fell back onto his bed, letting the world spin above him.
Bang
"David?" Conner called from the other side "All my calls keep going to voice mail! Are you ok?"
Fuck. The last thing David needed right now was Conner. The door creaked open "Why didn't you lock the-" Conner shut the door behind him and watched David lay on his bed. "David, baby. Are you high?" He asked as if he was speaking down to a baby. David turned his head slowly. "What's it to you?" He asked, trying to sit up but failing. Fuck he took too much. Conner smirked.
He doesn't remember what happened. When he was sober enough to be conscience, he saw Conner leaving and his whole body hurt. He didn't know for sure, but something in the way Conner giggled while he left and wiped his mouth told him something awful happened.
David can't remember the last time he cried, but he currently was. He used the rest of his energy to sit himself up and hug his knees. He cried hard. He cried like he was 5 years old and scraped his knee on the pavement. He let everything out. Not just the pain currently, but the stress to be a star, the fact that Gabe was dead even if he- Gabe was dead?
Gabe...was dead.
His pain was still quite prominent, but those words rang in his head. He fumbled for his phone and looked up 'Gabriel Goodman'. After some scrolling, he saw some kind of news article from 19 years ago. He recognized the crying parents in the picture as Dan and Diana, but younger.
8 month old Gabriel Goodman, passed last night from a medical disease yet to be determined. Parents devastated.
David put his phone down; he had millions of questions. His body still felt sore and on fire. Laying there in the dark, he let his mind run wild. He was so done with his life.
"This is sad," someone said from the corner of the room. David shot up right to find Gabe sitting in the corner. He sat legs crossed on David's desk with a push pop in hand. "How long have you been there..." David asked, cautious.
"Slipped in while Conner was leaving." He stated. "Saw you reading, and you look like shit."
"Why thank you. Now why did you come back?"
"Because you deserve an explanation" Gabe got up from his spot and walked towards David till he stood at the edge of his bed. Gabe was slightly shorter than David, but since David was sitting on the bed Gabe looked down at him.
"And if I don't want one?" David asked, struggling to stay up.
"You're getting one regardless." Gabe sighed and looked at David with those damn blue, puppy eyes. "I died when I was 8 months old, but due to my mom's delusions, I still grew up. I learned things from following Natalie around at her school and reading. Its odd because my physical body never passed a year but im not my body Im my soul which is in fact grown up." He took a deep breath despite not needing it "And why you can see me is a mystery. Though I think it has something to do with the fact that you crave death, even if you won't admit it."
David couldn't find the words; he moved to sit with his feet touching the floor at the end of his bed. Gabe cradled David's face with his hands, looking directly down at him. "Look at you... you don't have to be strong anymore. You're in so much pain, physically and mentally. You take drugs to shut your brain up. It shouldn't be that way." Gabes hands were so cold...but David wouldn't deny that it felt nice. It felt nice being seen and held.
Gabe let go of his face and fell to his knees in front of him. He rested his head on David's knee. "There's a world....there's a world I know. a place we can go, where the pain will go away."
"Gabe..."
"There's a world...where the sun shines each day..." Gabe looked up at him with the prettiest and most begging expression. David knew exactly what Gabe was asking of him.
"Gabe...no..." Though he knew there wasn't much to argue. He couldn't convince himself that he wanted to live, so how would he be able to convince Gabe? Especially since he didn't even want to live. what a waste of effort it would be to continue to deny the feeling he felt each and every day. all day. lingering in the back of his mind.
Gabe's hands rested on David's thighs, "There's a world...there's a world out there. I'll show you just where, and in time, I know you'll see..."
David couldn't resist anymore. he leant forward, Gabe met his gaze, and they stared at each other for a moment. "there's a world, where we...can be free..."
"Come with me"
That night, at 8:15, David Fry hung himself.
"Come with me..."
He was found in a small forest near his apartment, hung from a branch with a scarf his mom gave him. It was made to look like the grad scarf he was supposed to get one day.
"There's a world...where we can be free"
He was found by Conner Field the next morning; he was already gone and beyond saving.
"Come with me."
His parents said they had no clue he was struggling. David Fry was dead.
Poor, gifted boy, David fry, ended his life far too soon.