Work Text:
Hate
Hate is a strong word or that's what people say. But Noob doesn't hesitate to say she absolutely hates herself.
Everything that has ever gone wrong in her life is her fault. Noob doesn't understand why they where cursed to be alive.
Noob always fucks up everything for everyone.
They are the reason her best friend was gone. If she hadn't brought up the scripts they where using than maybe sixer would still be here.
Than maybe sixer could be comforting her right now telling her that she isn't useless and that she is important to them.
But they where gone permanently missing of the face of robloxia and its all Noobs fault.
When she went to go cry about it to other people they always told her the same things over and over again. "That's what you get for befriending someone name 665!" And "well it's your fault what did you think was going to happen?"
Even if people didn't directly say it Noob always saw them give her the look, not pity but either anger or disgust.
She got off her bed and looked around her room, bottles everywhere and clothes scattered across every inch of her room. She should clean it since it smelt awful and Noob didn't want any complaints from the other apartment residents but she didn't care. maybe if it smelled bad enough they would come in her apartment and find her corpse
Noobs head felt numb and her thoughts seemed to be faint whispers. She knew she was hungry her stomach was actively rumbling but she would not satisfy it. maybe that would be a good punishment not eat till they come back..
Her body was unresponsive for the most part and her emotions felt wiped out. Her eyes stinger from crying and staying up all night staring at her phone hoping for a message.
Glancing around the room her eyes fell on her mirror. Her reflection was horrible, her hair was greasy and she looked beaten up but most noticeable was her stomach poking out. why must she look like that she should stop eating even after sixer arrives maybe that would help..
Noobs phone buzzes, emails from the taxes coming up and other notifications about people asking to interview her for Guest 666 disappearance. Stupid news stations only caring for the money and not the people what would the head of robloxia even do if the story got traction? Sixer was a Guest and roblox has had some allegations against them but where they all true? Probably.
Even Noobs other "Freinds" haven't answered her and they where definitely distancing themselves from Noob. Could she blame them? No it was only a couple of days ago Noob realized how she could've been such a horrible person.
Next to her phone on the bedside table table was a small box cutter knife. The blade seemed to glow in the moonlight as if trying to attract her like a moth to a lightbulb. DO IT you deserve it its all your fault
Your fault all on you
She felt hot tears running down her face. The tears stinged her eyes and made them burn but she could not make them stop.
Her hand subconsciously reached for the bedside table.
She knew it would be a bad idea but she would only do it once.
She deserved it right?
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Blood was all around her arms and bed. The strong smell of sweet metal filled her bedroom. The blood was cold and thick around her hands painting her yellow skin to a dark muddy red.
She had to clean it up she couldn't sleep with it on her and she knew that but she didn't want to get off her bed. Looking around her room she picks up a old T- shirt that she got for her birthday a couple years ago and uses it to wipe the blood of her arm.
The blade was still the sickening red color and it felt like a sickening reminder of them. their red hat and red streak in their hair to match noobs blue one..
Noob put the blade back on the dresser and finished cleaning her hand up. The shirt now colored the sickening dark red. Noob felt like the punishment didn't do its justice enough for the mistakes she did.
She could go further but she was to tired to care or honestly do anything else. And she knew that just hurting herself wouldn't solve her problems. But still it felt like a good enough punishment.
It was still very late out probably 4 in the morning if she had to guess and sleep was slowly creeping up on her.
pulling the blankets up she tries to sleep and forget her mistakes but she knows they will always follow her like a dog and their owner.
Letting out a small sigh the quiet night took over any form of thoughts left in her mind. Her eyes still stang and so did her cuts but she could cry about it all again tomorrow.