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It's my seventeenth year on Erid. I had quickly settled into a steady routine on my arrival here and as always happens when you get too comfortable, the time has flown by.
It's amazing how quickly humans can adapt and I've built a nice life for myself - teaching, taking walks along the artificial beach, writing up my memoirs and scientific findings, making recordings on the human thinking machine, meeting with curious Eridians who come to my dome to observe the human exhibit, a fun day out for the whole family.
And of course, hanging out with my pal Rocky.
My daily life is full of activity.
I'm slowing physically and mentally due to the lingering effects of extended malnutrition during my early years here and the impact that the 1.5 g's are having on my body. Rocky has engineered an exoskeleton suit for me in the past year to offer some relief, but it's too uncomfortable to wear all of the time. Still, when I do wear it, I feel invincible.
Of course Rocky has a longer lifespan and is in his natural element, so he's still as lively, chaotic... and bossy as ever.
We share many fun moments, still learning about each other's cultures, sharing stories, generally goofing about.
Rocky has become very adept in nuanced human communication and ribs me mercilessly.
But despite all of this, there's still one thing missing.
Human companionship.
Sometimes Rocky jokes that I should go back to Earth to find a human mate.
"Grace is hero on Earth" he'll say. "Grace can pick any mate".
Then he starts asking too many questions about human mating rituals and I have to remind him:
"That's private. Just like you eating!"
We know that Sol has returned to full luminance, the Eridians had observed that last year.
It looks as though the beetles that I had launched back home containing the Taumoeba farm had arrived and that my fellow humans had worked out how to use them to destroy the Astrophage. The plan had worked.
We won.
And from that point on I'd been able to relax, comforted by the thought that life on Earth has likely survived and will flourish again.
But I just can't face the journey home.
For one, there's the extended isolation. I hadn't chosen to make this journey in the first place and the thought of spending another decade or more alone in space is terrifying.
Plus there's the danger of being in a coma for part of that journey with nobody to monitor my health.
Armando is still operational, but yeah, it had done a really great job of keeping Ilyukhina and Commander Li-Jie alive, right?
Then there's Rocky.
I'm reluctant to say goodbye to a friendship that has defined my life.
Nobody else from either of our worlds has experienced what we went through to save our homes.
We often reminisce about that first meeting and of course Rocky frequently likes to remind me that my first instinct was to run away. I counter by reminding him that I surfed on the top of a ship in high atmosphere.
There's been a lot of thrums held in recent months, with top-level scientists from all over Erid in attendance.
Rocky has been attending them too, although he hasn't shared what they are about, telling me that I should mind my own human business in his usual joking way. So I assumed that it was relating to important Eridian matters. It's not the first time that this schoolteacher had been left out of high-level meetings. Still, I'm curious to know what's going on. I am a high-level scientist on this planet after all. Even more baffling is that Adrian is in attendance for most of them and I get the distinct impression that she is a major force behind the proceedings.
So the fact that Rocky has today announced that he has some important news to share and has summoned me to our dome meeting place urgently has me intrigued.
He's fidgeting excitedly when I arrive.
"Hurry, Grace too slow."
I settle into the chair opposite him, in front of the clear xenonite window that separates our atmospheres.
"You didn't leave me enough time to get into my suit." I say. "I walk like an old man without it. So what's up?"
He moves about excitedly. I haven't seen him this animated since the day he told me about Sol. This must be big news.
"Ready Grace? Ready? Question."
I stare at him curiously "I'm ready, what is it?"
"Grace going home. Statement".
I freeze in shock.
"What?" I eventually manage to say.
Rocky is still dancing around excitedly.
"Grace going home".
"But I...". My words trail off. Rocky knows about my reluctance.
"Eridians had many thrums. Made plan" Rocky continues.
"You're making me leave?" I eventually manage to say, my vocal pitch rising with shock and fear.
Rocky's arms are waving by this point, his excitement levels at fever pitch.
"Eridians not make Grace leave. Eridians take Grace home".
Wait, what?
"Grace can go home. Adrian's idea. Eridians take Grace. Rocky and Adrian and crew go with Grace".
I can't move. I can't speak. For the first time in a year, my eyes start to fill with tears.
"Grace is leaking. Happy or sad?"
"Both". I manage to squeeze the word out between stifled sobs.
"Understand" says Rocky. "Engineers adapted ship. We all travel. Eridian plan worked. Enough astrophage ready. Rocky will stay at Earth. Adrian want to see Rocky as big Earth hero".
I manage a small smile at that mental image.
"That's... wonderful" I say to him, as my mind cautiously starts to let in the possibility of seeing and speaking to other humans again.
"More news" Rocky continues. "We will deploy arrays during journey. Communication link. Erid and Earth will be friends".
"That's... that's wonderful!" I say, still struggling to find the right words, but finally having something scientific to anchor my emotions to.
How will they deploy arrays while we're travelling at near light speed? Each will need to be a mini ship like the beetles. It will adopt our velocity on deployment, then fire up retros to slow down and take up its position. We'll probably need to deploy seven or eight of them to cover the 14 light year distance. But of course they know that already, they've had seventeen years to study, design... and build. The realisation hits me that this has been a plan years in the making.
And of course I'll be many years older when I finally arrive home. Taking into account general relativity and the coma... the coma!... I quickly do the maths in my head. That will make me around 56 years old on our arrival.
Then a numbing realisation hits me. The students that I left behind will be of a similar age, possibly peers. And I'll finally get to find out what's become of them. They'll be the ones rebuilding Earth and now I can help them. They'll always be kids to me.
And Stratt. She'll be in her 80s, if she's still...
Rocky breaks me out of my reverie.
"Still long-ass time to communicate" he says of the arrays. "Astrophage ships much quicker".
Despite the emotional overload, I manage a weak smile. I'll never get used to a being that looks like a rock using human colloquialisms.
"Grace pack. We go next week" says Rocky excitedly.
"Do I get time to think about it?" I ask, still reeling.
But even as I'm saying the words, I know that I'll be going. How could I possibly refuse after all of the work the Eridians have put into this plan. Plus Rocky's excitement for this new adventure is palpable.
And Adrian suggested it?
It makes sense. My health has been failing here, Rocky is upset and wants me to go home for that reason. He knows that I can't face the journey alone but he also knows that he can't leave Adrian again.
So she has made the decision for both of us. That brings more tears to my eyes.
They'd kept the plan from me to shield me from false hope and to keep me from worrying.
Eridians may be abrupt in their manner, but they're also an incredibly compassionate species.
"Why Grace don't want to go? Question" asks Rocky, his movements slowing to express concern. "Better for health!"
He knows why.
"I'm frightened of being in a coma again".
"Eridians will care for Grace. Eridians learn human physiology".
He's right. Eridians have spent 17 years absorbing every bit of data they could from the human thinking machine, hastily transferring the knowledge that it contained into their own data banks before it broke down.
They know all about human biology.
Rocky senses me processing all of this information in real time and angles his carapace to display emotional support, a curiously human-like gesture.
"Grace not worry" he says "Rocky watch Grace sleep".