Chapter Text
Bob and John's relationship was strong, at least that was what Bob believed in. They first got together after Bob's birthday just the year before, but the sparks were there ever since they first met. The touches and lingering looks culminated in sneaking around, hushed giggles and John memorizing Frank Reynold's morning routine to know what spots to avoid when leaving the ranch after spending the night.
"I love you"s were traded just a month in, neither of them planned to hold back when it came to their feelings and the constant touching when they were around their friends was living proof of that. The town wasn't the most welcoming place for relationships like theirs so they never engaged in any kind of public displays of affection if they weren't absolutely sure the only people witnessing it were the ones they trusted to keep quiet.
Unfortunately that wasn't the only obstacle for them. Bob had a bad habit of lingering in the honeymoon phase and not actually focusing on the problems he should be solving, and John's way of solving problems was pretending they don't exist. They broke up after nine months, and both pretended nothing ever happened.
Or at least one of them did.
"He's walking around like nothing ever happened." Bob slurred the words into his arm when he dropped his head on the bar, Yelena's fingers moved through his hair in an attempt to soothe him.
"Well not to say I told you so," Bob barely raised his head and glared up at her "but I did Bob, I told you, if you get with someone who doesn't even call you his boyfriend you can't expect him to tell people who he's been with, mess with the bull and get the horns isn't that what you always say?"
"That's what he always says." He cried out and let his head fall into the wood counter again.
"I guess this is a sign to cut you off Bob." The voice came from the other side of the bar, accompanied by a smile and the ever lasting charisma Joaquin Torres had when it comes to dealing with drunk patrons.
"I'm fine," He shook his head, slowly pulling himself together and straightening his posture. "I ain't that drunk."
"You're already crying, next step you're going to walk towards the jukebox and play something that'll make half of the saloon groan." He slid a water glass towards Bob.
"I'm not that bad of a drunk." Bob protested but took the glass and chugged the water as Yelena settled the bill.
"Of course cowboy, I'm sure you also weren't thinking of trying the mechanical bull even though you're banned from it?"
"That ban was not fair and you know it." He pointed a finger at the man and only got a shrug in return.
"Let's take you home Bob." Yelena thanked Joaquin once again for his patience and slung Bob's arm over her shoulder, it was definitely an uncomfortable position for him, having to lean down to match her height and be able to not trip over his own feet while walking towards the exit.
"You know, I can't stand him," The bitterness in his tone was stronger than half the drinks he had tonight as he started to rant all over again.
The bell over the door rang before they even got to it, and Bob barely registered Lemar's presence as he walked past the both of them.
"Can't stand that blond hair and that stupid fucking hat." He managed to throw up another complaint about his ex before separating himself from Yelena as soon as they stepped outside and ran to put everything out in the nearest trash can.
Meanwhile, still under the warm lights of the bar, John was learning about the words the brunette had spilled just mere seconds ago. Lemar, his best friend, would never consider himself a gossip but he couldn't keep his mouth shut when it came to Walker, they always tell each other everything.
"He looked like a mess." The words came followed by Lemar taking a big sip of the cold beer bottle that had been waiting for him on the table. "Really John, he was practically falling over Lena."
"Why do you call her that?" Walker scoffed and looked up from his own lukewarm drink. "You're not even close."
"Hey we're friends," He feigned being insulted before opening up his smile once again. "I work with a friend of hers and she spends a lot of her free time there, she told me to stop calling her Yelena because I always made it sound formal."
"Wow my best friend is friends with the one person who hates me the most in the whole town." John scrunched his nose, the words carrying almost the same bitterness as the booze in front of them.
"Well she takes second place now, cause apparently you pumpkin pie can't stand you anymore." It would be hilarious if it wasn't the worst thing that even happened to John, and he hated how Lemar's words almost made his lips fully turn upwards with the way he made it all seem like a joke.
"Shut up."
"That's what he was saying right now," The bottle clinked against the wooden table and a resigned sigh left his best friends mouth. "You can step outside and ask him yourself if you want, I'm pretty sure he's hunched over the bushes the way he can't handle his alcohol."
"He shouldn't drink so much, he knows that."
The way John said that made Lemar raise his eyebrows at him, but whatever reaction he had was not noticed as Walker's eyes were now glued to the big windows next to the entrance, secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of the man he was trying his best not to look at ever since he got into the building around thirty minutes ago.
Maybe if he sat a bit to the right of the booth he could've gotten a better angle and caught the way Bob's bestfriend was trying her best to not have him cry and throw up at the same time, maybe she would've glared right back at John the moment she realized he was watching them and he would've shrinked into himself and waited a few minutes before sneaking out of the bar and heading home to wallow in his own misery, he didn't need to get drunk to hate the things he did after all.
But that didn't happen, he was stuck in the leather seat with his eyes looking forward and no sight of the dark brown curls outside, he was fished out of his desperate thoughts by Lemar's voice again.
"Are you getting paid per hour?" John looked between the man on the other side of the booth and the bottle he was pointing towards. "Cause if you're not, you're babysitting that drink for nothing come on give it to me."
The condensation around the glass had already dripped down to the burnt mahogany surface, John wasn't even able to try and say something snarky back before a hand wrapped itself around the bottle and took it from the table.
"Don't even worry about it," He heard Joaquin's voice before looking up to his face, his ever present smile was accompanied by a small wink on their direction. "I'll trade this for a colder one."
"Oh wow," Lemar breathed out as he watched Joaquin walk back towards the bar and bring back a cold beer before going to tend to some other regulars a few tables away. "When did he get so charitable."
They both laughed as Lemar took a sip of his drink and John settled for fiddling with a half wet napkin on the table.
Of course Torres had a reason to be so nice towards the duo, their slightly loud conversation had just given him the other half of the story he was following while tending to Bob and Yelena, he had to show them his gratitude for feeding his curious ears with the juiciest gossip he had heard in a while.
The pounding in Bob's head the next day was making him crazy, that wasn't the most he could handle on a night out but still, his whole body was paying for it. His legs were hanging out from the end of Yelena's couch and there was a strong scent of coffee filling the air.
"You're joking," He could barely make out his friend's voice in the kitchen, mind too foggy this time in the morning to try and make sense of his surroundings. "I knew it, he couldn't keep that whole facade up for too long."
Now those words definitely raised some alarms in Bob's head, logically even if he couldn't stop talking about his ex that doesn't mean it would be all Yelena could talk about as well, but the topic did seem interesting.
That's why he forced himself to stand up and stretch his arms over his head, trying to shrug off the uncomfortable feeling of sleeping on that old couch. He took lazy steps towards the kitchen and brushed his hair back with his hands as he crossed the hallway, a yawn came out of his mouth right as he was about to greet Yelena and Ava so he just gave up on that and waved at them.
"Look who's back to the world of the living," Ava smiled and raised her coffee cup with a smirk. "Thought you were a goner when I didn't wake you on my way in."
"My head is killing me." He groans and sits down, immediately feeling an arm coming around his shoulder and squeezing him.
"That's what you get when you drink your feelings," Yelena placed a cup of coffee in front of him "Now drink this."
Ava slid the creamer towards him and both of them laughed at the disgust on Yelena's face, before she could even start to talk about "the best way to drink coffee" Bob spoke up.
"So," He took a sip and tried to play it up like something he's not deeply interested in hearing about. "Who couldn't keep up a facade?"
"Of course you want to know." Ava laughed and shakes her head.
"What? You two are too loud when you're gossiping. The women looked at each other and then took the chairs in front of him.
"Bucky and Sam are getting back together." Yelena said in a singing voice and cut herself a piece of whatever pie Ava brought from the bakery with her.
The words weren't exactly disappointing, the bar owners had been a topic between Bob and his friends for quite a while, the two of them being the only queer people that were out to the whole city, seeing as no one would ever mess with veterans around here. The on and off aspect of their whole marriage had been a discussion in their little group for the last couple of weeks, ever since they picked up on the fact that James hadn't been seen on his own bar for a while.
Sure, hearing that they were okay now was a nice thing, a great thing if you'd consider a happy Sam meant a happy bartender and Bob would never complain about shots on the house. But he didn't want to hear about how happy another couple could possibly be right now, his hangover mind was hoping the conversation was steering towards Walker and the possibility of him actually telling people he was with Bob for almost a year.
"Oh," Was all he brought himself to say, not wanting to sound bitter about it "Well it was about time."
The rest of the conversation floated away from his mind as he just nodded at whatever the girls said while finishing his breakfast, after a few minutes of staring at the plate in front of him he got up, washed his face and put on his jacket.
"I gotta go, my old man is probably already pissy about me being late." He pressed a kiss against the side of Yelena's head and just squeezed Ava's shoulder before making his way out of the house.
Both women stared at the now empty chair before looking at each other, the sound of the front door closing was their cue to finally start talking again.
"How bad was it?" Ava said and turned her body towards her girlfriend.
"Real bad," Yelena mumbled and put her mug down to reach for both of Ava's hands, intertwining their fingers before looking up at her. "He was throwing up before we even got home."
"We need to talk to him about it, it's not healthy." The conversation turned into a whisper even if there was no one else around, they were in the privacy of their shared place but Ava still felt the need to keep quiet.
"I know but what am I supposed to do, he's been crying about Walker for two months now," Yelena sighed, focusing on the warm touch of Ava's hands. "He's been so down and it gets even worse when he sees him."
"John was there? The whole time? Did he see you two?" The excitement rose in her voice at the mention of last night's details.
"He probably saw us, I mean he could never keep his eyes away from Bob." That brought a chuckle to the chit-chat and instead of continuing the topic Yelena leaned in and pressed her lips against Ava's in a quick kiss. "And I can't keep mine away from you."
"Alright I'll let this one slide," Ava, tilted her head, smiling into Yelena's cheek and pressing a kiss to the warm skin "But you're not off the hook, I'll need you to actually tell me everything later."
"Yes ma'am."
One of the downsides of living in such a small town meant that if something wasn't a secret you only trusted your very close friends with, the whole town probably already knew about it, which is exactly why Robert was sure his dad knew what state he was in at the bar last night.
His relationship with his parents was far from good and having to work with his dad always made everything worse, it basically gave Frank an excuse to diminish his work in front of all the farm hands like he wasn't his son, like he wasn't basically prohibited from looking for a job anywhere else in this god forsaken city because apparently blood is thicker than water and "what would people think if my son refused to work with me?"
The floor creaked as he stepped on the porch and got into the house, only to be immediately greeted by the image of a shirtless John Walker on his kitchen.
"What the fuck?" His brain worked faster than his mouth could and he felt a hand smack his arm.
"Language, Robert." His mother said as she walked past him and into the kitchen.
"Morning Bobby." John finally spoke up. The smirk on his face complemented the specks of dirt that were smudged around it and he made a show of chugging the glass of water in his hand while giving Bob a clear view of his bare neck.
"Johnny here came to help with the horses," His mother said with a sweet smile "but he offered to get rid of the rubble by the back door that you and your father forgot about."
She hadn't used the word useless, or explicitly called him out for not doing something that was put off for weeks now, but he knew her intentions with the comment and just ignored it as he walked past them and opened the fridge, reaching for the pitch of iced tea.
"Maybe instead of spending the night God knows where, you could take a page from Johnny's book and help around here."
"Mom…"
Whatever plan that John had coming in here was probably immediately ruined the moment the mother and son started quietly arguing right in front of him, the mood souring significantly as he tried to look any other way and avoid being in the middle of it.
"It's true, instead of running around with that little rascal of a girlfriend you have you could be doing something for the family, I won't even know what to do with you if you show up here with that girl pregnant Robert."
"I'm not getting Yelena pregnant, she's not even my girlfriend."
"I'm not stupid Robert."
"Alright I think that's my cue" John cleared his throat and put his cup down, he looked up at Bob while scratching his chin, Bob didn't know if it was meant to be an apology.
"Right, take John to the stable Bobby." She said as she headed towards the living room.
"I think he knows the way there." Both men were past avoiding eye contact now and were in a tense stare off, the furrow of Bob's eyebrows made clear that he was anything but happy that Walker was there.
"And I think your father wouldn't like to come inside and catch you looking like a mess."
They stepped outside after a second, John reaching for a shirt that was laying on the railing and quickly put it back on, catching up to Bob's side with that same annoying smirk back on his lips.
"I ditched the hat today, a little birdie told me that some people kind of hate it." He said, hands on the pockets of his pants.
The sound of the steps stopped and John looked back, finding Bob standing just a few feet behind him.
"You're spying on me now?" The accusation came with a bit of venom, the opposite of the tone he has been using to talk about the man in the last couple of weeks.
"So you said it?" John tilted his head, trying to avoid the sunlight hitting right on his face.
"Don't play these games with me Walker" Bob shakes his head and resumes walking towards the stable, ignoring the laughter coming from behind him.
"Not my fault you're a loud drunk, you ought to be more careful with that mouth of yours."
They stop right at the entrance, Walker's words enough to rile Bob up.
"Why are you doing this?" He looked around, hoping no one else was around. "We're over, and last time I checked you had nightmares just at the thought of anyone knowing about us so now I talk with a friend about a nameless someone and the shoe fits you?"
"Well who else would you be talking about?" John crossed his arms and took a step closer.
"Are you…. Jealous?" Finally, the corner of his mouth went up as he watched John look away and scoff.
"Just trying to confirm what I heard was true." John shrugged and looked back at him
"Yeah right, tell Lemar to quit it." Bob took a step back and started walking away.
"I have multiple birds around Bobby." John yelled, just loud enough that Bob would hear it.
"Go fuck yourself."
All Walker could do was laugh as he cracked open the door to the stable and got inside, being met by the sight of maybe a couple of horses and two of the farm hands he was used to seeing around the animals.
"One of your guys ditched today?" John said, trying to pretend he wasn't just doing whatever that whole thing was out there.
"Yeah, caught a cold." Liam, one of the men said from one of the stalls.
"He's catching something else right now I'm sure of it." The other guy, Alex, spoke up with a chuckle.
John sometimes did some jobs for the Reynolds when he had the free time and needed an extra money besides what his parents gave him every month, so he was used to the banter of all the farm hands that worked there. He wouldn't call them friends since he either saw them once every few months when they worked together or while crossing paths on the town, but if there was something he knew is that like everyone else around him they couldn't keep their mouth shut.
"He's out fishing?" Walker laughed "Well I'm not gonna judge the lad, more work for me."
"Yeah you're lucky Frank's son was on that terrible state yesterday or else he'd be the one in your place." Alex's eyebrows wiggled as he handed him a form.
"Jesus, he was that bad?" John put on the best act he could and pretended he hadn't witnessed the whole thing.
"Oh you have no idea, you should go check in on him" Alex's hand met his shoulder with a smll squeeze "He's sweet on you."
"He's not sweet on me" John brushed him off, almost fully pushing him away and Alex reacted by raising his hands in surrender and taking a step back.
"Oh he is, never seen that boy come out on the sun when we're all working except for when your ass is out there with us" Liam spoke up, carrying a bucket full of muck out of the stall he was cleaning up. "Always knew there was something about that kid."
"What do you mean by that." John wanted to ignore the comment but he couldn't help it, he propped the fork against the wall next to him and looked back at Liam
"He's one of them queer ones, you know," The words came followed by a scoff, the sound making John's blood boil. "and by the looks of him I surely don't mean happy."
John's fists curled into themselves and he crossed his arms to hide how tightly he was pressing them against his sides, he was alwaus a controlled person when it came to feelings and his growing need to defend the people around him. But this was his achilles heel, the moment someone muttered something even slightly negative about Robert Reynolds he felt like a bull looking at a waving red handkerchief.
That was the reason it all fell apart, he knew this side of him was always just waiting to come out and that if he were to walk outside with Bob and some bigoted neighbor commented on them holdings hands he would get the same fists bloody over it and that violence was exactly the last thing Bob needed in his life.
He took a deep breath, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the floor and then John decided to use the most peaceful way of attacking someone that he knew, words.
"Right…. one of them…. how's the wife by the way?"
Alex's face fell and his laughter seized immediately, Liam on the other hand started loudly laughing at the subtle dig John did at the recently divorced man.
"Oh that was a good one," He tried to catch his breath and watched Alex walk towards the back of the barn, mumbling something about getting back to work. "You know Johnny maybe I was wrong."
"About what?" The words had the same bite he used on Alex, his voice raising slightly as he looked at the older man.
"Bobby isn't sweet on you, you're sweet on him" Liam pointed towards his chest with a smile.
"What are you talking about." John scoffed and turned around, the piles of hay next to them suddenly much more interesting.
"I might be getting old but I ain't blind," His voice softened and instantly John felt the air getting heavier. "your whole window routine would've been adorable if you getting caught didn't mean getting shot by the boss."
He was ready for the blow, for the bargain he would have to struck, for the money he would have to hand over so not a word of this ever made it outside these foul smelling walls.
"So are you gonna tell Frank about it? Cause if you-" He turned around to face the men again, tongue already sharp with the first threat he could think of, but he was met with gentle eyes and an understanding smile.
"Hey kid, I ain't got nothing against that, I'll have you know my brother has a husband and he makes the best chicken pot pie I've ever eaten," The pride in his voice took John by surprise, his shoulders relaxed and he fell incredibly out of place, always used to the folks around Liam's age to treat the subject as taboo, treat him as taboo. "So I'm an ally."
"An Ally, Liam? Really." The wording made John chuckle, breaking any kind of expectation he had of where this conversation was headed.
"I support you man, I mean from the way you were having to hop over the fence every single day you guys must be making each other very happy."
John didn't even think to correct him and say him and Bob aren't together anymore.
"Please stop talking!"
Liam started laughing again and making kissing sounds towards a very embarrassed John while he picked up a brush and just walked towards the second stall. "Not one word of this outside of these walls Liam, I'm serious."
"Trust me I am a very good at keeping secrets," The two of them settled into silence for just half a minute when curiosity decided to be stronger than common sense. "So which one of you-"
"I'm not answering that."
"Right, sorry."
One thing that Yelena had successfully done was convince Bob of going back to doing things he used to take pleasure from and unfortunately for his body, he was a damn good rider.
Getting back into competitions felt slightly weird, like he was trying to fit into clothes from his teens, or into something from his father's closet, but this was the fourth time he managed to throw the anxious feeling to the side and get back into the game.
Ava had just left his side to go get something to eat while she waited for his name to be called when another figure stepped up to him, that blond, charming figure.
"Good luck out there, Cowboy." John's voice filled his head and for some reason all the rest of the world became static.
"Fuck off, I mean it." Even though he wanted to just drop the act and drown in John's voice, he did the best to push away any opportunity for the other man to get closer.
"I'm being nice." Walker scoffed and stepped in front of him, a smile creeping up on his face.
"Yeah sure." Avoiding the shining blue eyes in front of him was the hardest task Bob had to go through the whole day.
"I'm serious Bobby." John's smile doesn't falter, hand sliding down Bob's shoulder to tug on the leather vest.
Blue eyes never looked so brown as Bob stared up at him, pupils wide and mouth opening and closing as he searched for something to say to that.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh just wishing you good luck," John's smirk faltered for just a second. "A little birdie told me you were out here having fun, a bull can't be more fun than me."
"Shut your fucking mouth," Bob tries to whisper as he looks around, pulling John behind one of the walls close to them. "Are you drunk?"
The blond laughed as he felt the hands tugging at his shirt, he was quick to cover them up with his own. The electrifying feeling surged through both of them, images of them pressed against a wall in a less aggressive scenario started playing in their minds. John's hands found their way to Bob's waist.
"Just some liquid courage," He whispered without looking away from Bob. "Did you know Yelena's hair is not that light naturally? She goes to Liv to touch it up cause she's damn good at her job, but that's beside the point,"
Confusion was spreading through Bob's face as he watched John babbling about Olivia for a few seconds before his focus seemed to go back to him and his cocky smile fell.
"Is it true?" The best comparison Bob could make at the moment to what John sounded like was an abandoned dog, whining at the front door and waiting for the owner to come back so it could feel happy again.
"Is what true?" He whispered, hands warms against Walker's collarbone.
"You're with someone?" John's hands felt like iron around Bob's middle, fingers digging deep as if he was trying to leave a mark. "Your girl's got a big mouth."
"You don't know what you're talking about." Bob finally let go of Walker, pushing him away from him and cringing at the sound the other made when his back hit the wall.
"Word travels fast around here Bobby." He mumbled, catching his breath and taking off his hat, grip so loose Bob thought it was about to fall in the mud.
"Stay the fuck out of my business." There was a loud cheer just a few meters away, the people watching whoever was taking their turn on the rodeo and the sound brought him back to reality.
"Tell your business to keep their mouth shut then." John's speech was less slurred now, the confrontation seemed to have sober him up even if just slightly.
A buzz in his front pocket caught John's attention and he took a second to look at the screen, laughing at whatever notification had shown up and putting the phone back. His hand wiped down the sweat on his face and he stood up straight again, Bob's eyes following every movement.
Walker started walking away from him, stepping out of their little bubble and coming back to the real world until he heard the words coming from behind him.
"I'm not with anyone." Bob didn't even know why he was explaining himself but he felt the need to, maybe to clear any doubts, maybe to have the last word.
Either way he only watched as John put his hat back on and nodded at him before heading towards the food carts where Ava and Lemar were standing talking to each other, or at least pretending they were talking and not watching whatever show both of them just put on.
John didn't stay to watch Bob, he walked home right after that confrontation, telling Lemar that he was sober enough now to get back to the house without passing out and protested when his friend offered to walk him home.
The street lights guided him home and he knew his parents were still awake, or at least his mother was, considering he could hear the television in the living room as he tried for seven minutes to unlock the door.
He almost fell on his face when the door swung open, revealing his father on the other side already helping him stand up. "Look at the state of you"
Walker mumbled something as he propped himself up against his father, the walls around him spinning until he was able to find his bearings and sit down on the couch next to his mother. No words were exchanged for a couple of seconds and the silence was discarded by the sound of quiet crying, John's eyes were closed and he was trying too hard to not let his shoulders shake with every sob.
"I fucked up Ma," He said, arm covering his face, weeping into his jacket. "I fucked up."
"Did you kill someone?" His dad asked from doorway and got immediately reprimanded.
"Christopher don't say that." Walker's mom immediately got on his side, one hand combing through his hair and the other lowering his arm. "What happened honey."
"He hates me," He slowly sunk into the couch, letting his head find it's place on his mother's lap, crying into her legs like a little kid. "I love him and he hates me."
"Oh Johnny." She cooed over him, rubbing his arm and looking back at her husband.
"I'm sorry Ma, I swear I didn't mean to I just love him." The way the words fell out of his mouth, apologizing for all the love he had in his heart because he never intended for it to get like this, Robert Reynolds just did this to him and he didn't want to ignore that anymore.
"I know Johnny." She whispered, a small smile growing on her face, rivulets descending her cheeks and she tried to wipe them off before he could even notice she was crying as well. "You're not very subtle when it comes to that stuff."
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize, I still love you, you're my son."
The crying picked up even more after that, his vision was blurry and his eyes were hurting, any words turned into a mix of sobs and him trying to catch his breath but there was nothing he could coherently get out besides "Bobby".
Waking up the next day he had no idea of how he would face his parents after coming out in such a messy and unexpected way, he didn't even remember if he had said anything besides crying for Bob Reynolds.
The thing that would be the hardest, John realized as he got to the bottom of the stairs and looked into the kitchen, was figuring out what Bob was doing in his parent's house.